CHAPTER ELEVEN
How was she going to tell him after all this time?
Because she had to. She had to tell him. Not only had she promised him the truth, but she couldn’t sit back every day and watch him care for and cradle his daughter and not tell him the truth. When she’d initially agreed to marry him, she was only thinking of keeping Poppy safe. She hadn’t expected Cal to dote so much on his daughter. How could she? He hadn’t mentioned children at all in the months they’d been together. The words marriage and family had never fallen from his mouth until that afternoon when she’d come to him in an act of sheer desperation.
She’d found out she was pregnant a week after walking into the nightmare in his office. She swore then that she’d never ask Cal for anything. Ever. And she hadn’t until she had to ask for her old job back.
But now things were different. Cal was different. And her feelings for him, well, they’d changed too. Seeing him holding their daughter and wishing she was his was more than Lucy could handle. She’d tell him. Tonight.
Her mind made up, she dried her tears and took a really deep breath.
By the time she returned to Poppy’s room, Cal had just put the baby in her crib and was coming back out the door.
“Nap time,” he said, with a proud grin. “How’re you feeling?” He examined her face. “The swelling’s not as bad as it was before, but you should still keep ice on it.” He ran a light finger under her eye. “It’s already purple. I hate seeing his mark on you.”
“I’ll be okay. But what about your dinner party?”
“Already postponed. You’ll have to change the date with the caterer, but that shouldn’t be a problem. There’s something I wanted to talk with you about, but I have to get back to the office. Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
He leaned down and kissed her on her good cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”
He started for the stairs, but she called him back. “Cal?”
“Yes?”
“I was thinking of maybe trying option number twelve tonight.”
“Option twelve...” Cal tilted his head to the side, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. He had no idea what option twelve was, but if she wanted it, then he sure as hell would give it to her. “Oh. Is that right? And just who were you thinking of trying it with?”
“My husband. If he gets home at a decent hour.”
He walked back toward her. “I’ll see what I can do for you, darlin’.”
“You do that.”
He gave her a real kiss this time, but not the kind he had planned for her tonight. This one was easy and gentle and full of promise.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she promised.
He reluctantly turned away from her and headed down the stairs. As much as he wanted to stay, he had preparations to make and a mayor to call about a certain suspect that had been taken into custody today. He also had a surprise up his sleeve for Lucy, one he hoped she would agree to. There was no way he was going to allow what happened today to ever happen to her again.
He stopped to thank Sam one more time for saving Lucy, then left for his office. First order of business: call Lucas. Next order of business: look up option number twelve.
*****
Cal spent the rest of the day working his tail off to get everything done that needed done so he could be home at a reasonable time. While option twelve didn’t have the same flare as eleven and thirteen, it was still miles away from where he and Lucy were right now. He’d take whatever she was offering. He hoped she would be just as amenable to his suggestions.
That afternoon he’d purchased a handgun for Lucy and arranged for shooting lessons. That way if she was ever attacked again, she would have a way to protect herself. He’d do everything in his power to make sure that asshole kept as far away from his family as possible. To that end, he’d had a long talk this afternoon with the mayor about the need to crack down on crime, especially domestic violence. If the mayor also happened to have a copy of the file Lucas had given him on Lucy’s case, well, that might just light a fire under his ass.
Cal drove through the gates of home, looking forward to seeing his family. His family. Who would’ve thought old rabble-rousing Cal would be looking forward to getting home to his wife and daughter? Poppy had charmed him almost as much as her mother. He adored that little girl. Who could’ve predicted it? He’d always liked kids…in small doses. But Poppy was different. Everything she did impressed him. Maybe he’d come to that point in life where he wanted a wife and children.
The good Lord knew he was done with the bachelor life and had been for sometime. Now he had Lucy and Poppy to fill the nights he would’ve spent home alone. He parked his car in the garage and headed into the house. The first thing he heard was Poppy crying. Screaming actually. He dropped his briefcase and tore up the stairs.
Lucy held Poppy’s stiff little body as the child reared her head back and wailed.
“What’s wrong with her?” he asked, the panic in his voice making it too loud.
“Ear infection. I think. This happened once before. I called her pediatrician, but she hasn’t called me back yet.”
“Can’t you give her anything?”
“I gave her some infant pain medication, but it hasn’t kicked in yet, poor bug.” Lucy rubbed the baby’s back. “I know it hurts, precious.” Her cell phone rang.
Cal held his hands out. “Let me have her. You answer that. And it better be that damned doctor.” He took Poppy from Lucy and put her to his shoulder where she always seemed to like it best. “There now, sweet pea. I’ve got you. She’s burning up,” he told Lucy.
“Fever. I’m going to take this where it’s quiet. You sure you got her?”
“We’re fine. Go on.”
He walked back and forth, rubbing Poppy’s back and trying to soothe her. He got her quieted down to long, pitiful moans interrupted by hiccups that tore at his heart. She was so hot and sweaty that she’d soaked his dress shirt. Her red curls lay flat to her head. He kept walking with her, and she eventually fell asleep. He eased down into the recliner and closed his eyes.
Hearing her screams had scared half a year off his life. Forget the diapers and nighttime feedings. This had to be the worst part about having a child—seeing them suffer and not being able to do a damn thing about it. He didn’t think he’d ever felt more helpless, except for when he’d come home and seen the damage on Lucy’s beautiful face.
He settled Poppy in the crook of his arm and gently rocked her. Poor little darlin’. Tiny beads of sweat dotted her forehead and pink cheeks. He pulled a blanket through the slats of her crib, then draped it gently over her, worried she’d catch a chill from being wet.
She looked so much like her momma and—he had to admit—her daddy was in there too.
Lucy came into the room. “The doctor’s calling in a prescription. Will you be all right if I go run and pick it up? Or should I have Sam do it?”
“They’ll probably want insurance information. Why don’t you take Sam with you to the pharmacy? And here—” He gently leaned forward and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. “Here’s your and Poppy’s new insurance cards.”
She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it and stood there blinking at him.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
Lucy didn’t think Cal had ever been any sexier than he was in that moment, cradling his sick daughter and talking about things like insurance cards. The man she was looking at now was not the man who’d knocked her up and then thrown his secretary onto his desk. No, this was the kind of man who would stick around, the kind of man who loved and took care of his family.
“Thanks,” she said around the tear-filled bubble in her throat. “I’ll be back soon. Call me if you need anything.”
“Will do.”
She left the bedroom, knowing her daughter would be taken care of. Throughout her trip to the pharmacy with Sam she kept going over her decision to tell Cal about Poppy and what his reaction might be.
It was a strange and exhilarating feeling to have a potential partner to parent with. She’d been on her own for so long it was going to take her a while to adjust. She wondered how Cal would take the news that he was a father. Was he only enjoying playing at being a daddy, or was he developing feelings for his daughter? When he found out he was a daddy for real, would he stay around or would he leave?
She guessed the only way to be sure would be to tell him. Once it was out, she’d know where she stood and could make better decisions for her and Poppy. Either way they had their deal for a full year. By that time Poppy would be nearly two years old, and Lucy would have a tidy nest egg put away. She supposed she could ask Cal for child support if she had to. He’d pay to keep it hushed that he had a child if he didn’t want Poppy in his life. If that was the case, they were no worse off than they were now.
It all seemed so logical. So why was she holding out the hope that Cal would want to keep fathering his daughter? And then the second, smaller hope that she and Cal would stay married and live happily ever after?
Now there was a dream.
She snorted, which drew Sam’s attention in the car. “Something wrong, Mrs. Sellers?”
They were on their way home from the pharmacy. Lucy had picked up a few other things she thought she might need for Poppy.
“No. Just thinking. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Do you have kids?”
He grinned. “Three. All boys.”
“You like being a dad? I mean, it must be hard being away from them.”
“Best thing I ever did, and yeah, it’s hard. But when we’re together, we’re really together, you know?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t, but that wasn’t something she wanted to burden Sam with.
She stayed quiet the rest of the ride home. When she got there, Cal was in the same spot and nearly the same position as he’d been in when she’d left, eyes closed.
“Hey,” she whispered.
He opened his eyes. “Oh, hey. I fell asleep. Did you get the medicine?”
She held up the bag. “I hate to do it, but we should wake her up and give her a dose so it can start working right away.”
He looked down at Poppy. “Isn’t there some kind of superstition about waking a sleeping baby?”
“You want her in pain any longer than she has to be?”
“No.” He gently nudged Poppy. “Hey, sweet pea, time to wake up and take your medicine. Come on, sweets.” Poppy started howling. “Now I see why they say that,” he said to Lucy and then turned Poppy so Lucy could drop the medicine into her mouth. “That’s my girl. She took it like a champ. Now what?”
“Now you get her to go back to sleep.”
“Easy.” He rose, lifting Poppy to his shoulder, and walked.
It took only a few minutes before Poppy was asleep again. Cal laid her gently in her crib and backed away.
“Now what?” he asked.
“Now you come with me. I have something I need to talk with you about.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lucy grabbed the baby monitor, led Cal into her bedroom, and closed the door. She’d been so calm in Poppy’s room, but now alone here with Cal, she was a bundle of sweaty nerves. Where to start? Should she build up to it or blurt it out? How did people do things like this?
She wiped her hands on her skirt. “Have a seat.” She gestured toward the two chairs by the fireplace.
He sat down and propped a booted foot on his knee. He had a big wet spot on his expensive dress shirt from Poppy’s sweaty little body, his hair was messed up and his eyes were half-lidded and sleepy looking. If she hadn’t been so twisted up inside from what she was about to tell him, she might’ve suggested option number eight or twenty-one. They were similar, but option eight added a twist she’d been dying to try and… She was stalling.
She lowered herself into the chair opposite him. There was really no good way to say this so she just started.
“Back when we were together and I caught you with your secretary—”
“I said it before and I’ll say it again—I’m sorry. And I’ll keep on saying it until you believe it. I’m sorry.”
“No, that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about.”
He shifted in his seat, dropping his foot to the floor and leaning in. “What is it that’s got you so upset, darlin’? Is it Poppy? Is she worse off than you thought?”
“No, it’s not that either. Be quiet a minute and let me get this out, okay?”
He nodded but kept watching her with an intensity that was so Cal.
“I left your office that day, and I swore to myself I’d never see you again. No matter what. And then things got very bad for me financially. If it were just me, I’d have sucked it up, been homeless or gone to live in a shelter or something, but I had Poppy to think of. So I put my pride aside and I went to you for a job. I never expected…” her hand fluttered in a helpless motion, “…that you’d offer me marriage. I figured I had a fifty-fifty shot at getting my old job back. The odds were high enough that I had to ask. For Poppy.
“And then Kevin came back.” Her eyes began to fill with tears, but she held them at bay. Cal started to say something, but she stopped him with her hand. “It was…still is a life-or-death situation. And again, if it were just me, I’d deal with him however I could, but there was Poppy. He only wants her now because she’s the key he uses to get to me. He can’t have children of his own, so he was willing to marry me. I thought I was doing what was best for everyone. He agreed to pass Poppy off as his own. But she’s not. Kevin isn’t Poppy’s father. You are.”
He was quiet so long, his expression unchanged, she grew nervous, waiting for an explosion that never came. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
“Darlin’, I know how to do math.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I knew she had to be mine by the timing. Unless you were cheating on me, which I couldn’t complain about, now could I? I figured she had to be mine. I am much relieved to know you didn’t cheat and that she really, truly is mine.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand. You
knew
? Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why didn’t you
do
anything?”
“What could I do? You married that asshole instead of telling me. Your thoughts on the matter couldn’t be any plainer. You made it clear you didn’t want me in your life let alone Poppy’s life after what I did to you. And rightly so from where I was standing at the time. But I kept tabs and helped when I could. I paid for that private room and your expenses when she was born. She has a trust fund and a college fund. She is also listed as one of the heirs in my will, the main heir. I did what I could for her from the outside.”
Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn’t catch her breath. He knew. All this time. All the while she was taking the beatings from Kevin, he knew Poppy was his daughter.
He scooted forward in his chair. “But now I know her. I’ve held her and rocked her. She’s mine, and I’m claiming her. I won’t allow another day to go by in her life without me in it. I’m here, and I’m not leaving.”
“So that’s it. Everything’s solved in your world.”
“No, everything’s not solved, but it’s starting to work itself out.”
“What about a year from now when this marriage is over and we go our separate ways?”
“If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do. If it was up to me, I’d make you my wife in every way—not just in name—and the three of us would be a family.”
“Why?”
“Well, I thought that was fairly obvious.”
“
Obviously
not.”
“I’m in love with you.” He said it so simply when nothing that had ever happened between them could ever be classified as simple, including her very complicated feelings for him.
“It took you walking out of my life and into the arms of another man for me to realize it. And I swore—” he took her hands in his, “—that if I ever got another chance with you, I’d do everything I could to be the kind of man you can trust and maybe love in return. And then you walked into my office in your tight blouse and even tighter skirt, flipping your hair over your shoulder, all but demanding that I give you your old job, and I knew. That was my second chance, maybe my only chance to have you back again.
“I know it’s going to take time to earn your trust and forgiveness. Seeing you with that other man, imagining you with him, watching you create a family with him… I got back some of what I must have put you through, and it nearly brought me to my knees. In one stupid, thoughtless act I lost you and my daughter. I lost everything that mattered before I even knew it could matter. So now here I am getting to know my daughter and wooing my wife. And hoping I can win her back.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
She truly didn’t. His declaration left her speechless. Maybe there was such a thing as second chances and do-overs. If he’d been anything in the past few weeks, he’d been consistent, putting his words into action over and over. It was clear he adored his daughter, doting on her and stepping up to be a real father to her. Maybe they could work things out. Maybe she could trust him. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
“You don’t need to say anything.”
“But I do. When you talk like that, Cal, you make me want everything you said. You make me want to trust you again.”
He grinned like he’d been awarded a prize. “I want to kiss you so bad right now, darlin’, that I don’t think I could stop once I started.”
“I’m not sure I’d want you to if you did. Come here, cowboy.” She grabbed him by his still-damp shirt collar. “Kiss me.”
Cal put his lips to hers. This kiss was like none they’d ever shared. Their first kisses had been feverish and hungry, their recent kisses had been tentative and testing, but this kiss…this kiss was sure and hopeful, and it outshone any other kiss. He dropped to his knees in front of her chair and brought her right up against his body, her legs on either side of his hips. The feel of her… There was no holding back. He let his hands wander, relearning her curves.
He trailed a line of kisses across her jaw and down her neck. She sifted her fingers through his hair and held him as though she never wanted him to stop. He made thorough work of kissing her, setting everything free that he’d kept pent up. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman in his life, more than the first time he’d had her. This was
the
first, the most important first. She was letting him back into her heart and maybe her body. He grew wild for her, desperate for the feel of skin on skin and her hands on his body.
Gripping her ass, he rocked against her. She worked at the buttons of his shirt. He followed suit, undoing the buttons of her blouse, exposing her an inch at a time until he was looking down at the creamy swell of her breasts spilling out of the cups of her bra.
He bent his head to her beckoning flesh, cupping her breasts in both hands. She’d always been more than a handful, but now after having his child, her body had become a lush wonderland of new curves to explore. God, he wanted her. He pressed his erection against her so she could see for herself how much. She answered with a moan and dug her heels into his backside, grinding against him.
He peeled back a cup of her bra and then the other, and her breasts popped free from their confines. Bending back, she guided him to where she wanted him. He was only happy to oblige, drawing her nipple into his mouth and sucking hard.
“Ahh,” she gasped.
He wanted to be inside her so bad he thought he’d die before he’d get the chance. Slipping a hand between her legs, he felt how wet she was through her panties. He had to touch her, dip his fingers into her slickness. He slid his hand into the waistband of her panties, stroking into her with one then two fingers. She arched back farther as he worked her, drawing out her pleasure toward orgasm.
She began panting, and he knew she was close, so close. He drove his fingers into her as he wanted to drive his cock into her, over and over, not letting up until she broke on a low moan, clutching his head to her breast. He nuzzled her, working his way back to her mouth, and kissed her, a long, slow promise that this was only the beginning. There would be more, so much more between them.
“Cal?”
“Hmm,” he answered as he kissed the slopes of her breasts.
“That wasn’t in the option agreement.”
“We’ll add it.” He moved his fingers inside her again. “How about number five? I’m feeling number five real strong, darlin’.”
“Five?” She gasped.
“It’s the one where I put my mouth where my hand is now.”
“No. Just your hands. I want your mouth here and here.” She cupped one breast and then the other, rolling her nipples between her thumbs and fingers.
“Jesus, darlin’,” he breathed.
He gripped her panties and ripped them in half, exposing her. Running his hands up her pale thighs, he couldn’t believe what a lucky bastard he was to have her wanting and willing. He widened her legs, using both hands on her, rubbing her clit and stroking her deep. Gazing up at her, he touched his tongue to her nipple. Her arousal was intoxicating, and he couldn’t stop watching her reactions as he pleasured her. The sounds she made, the scent of her, he was sure he would come right here with his mouth on her and her hand in his hair, urging him on.
She brought her other hand up to her breast and rubbed her nipple. The first gasps of her impending orgasm drove him mad. This was his Lucy, wild and wanton and so uninhibited. He picked up the pace, slipping three fingers inside of her and working her until her hand fisted in his hair and she cried out.
He slid his fingers out of her and laid his head on her stomach. His dick throbbed so hard he thought it might explode any minute. If he touched her again, he’d lose it for sure. He couldn’t hear her moan one more time without being inside her.
This time wasn’t for him though. It was for her. He wanted to show her what he couldn’t say, that he hadn’t had a woman since he’d had her. That he’d loved her when he’d cheated on her, but instead of telling her, he’d sabotaged it because it scared the hell out of him. She scared the hell out of him. Her and her power to make him drop to his knees and beg her to take him back. And that he was weak, so very weak when it came to her.
He’d known about his daughter, but instead of doing what he normally would—barge in and take over everything—he’d let her go, thinking that was best for her and her mother. He’d thought about Poppy a lot, wondering what she looked like, how she was growing and if she was happy.
He hadn’t lied when he’d told Lucy that he wanted his daughter. Whatever happened between the two of them, he’d be in Poppy’s life. He wasn’t letting her go. Ever.
Lucy stirred, sifting her fingers through his hair and scattering goose bumps over his skin. “Are we going to take this to the bed?”
He looked up at her, past her breasts spilling out of their cups, and he wanted to answer yes. God, yes. “I think,” he said, kissing each of her breasts, “that we’ve made a very good dent in the options.”
“What about you?” She tried to reach down and grab him, but he moved before she could put a hand on him.
“My pleasure, darlin’, was in pleasuring you…” he ran a finger over one breast then the other, “…and finally seeing these…” he bent and licked one of her nipples and she shuddered, “…and putting my hands and mouth on them.”
“But don’t you want to have sex?”
“There isn’t anything I want more in this world. And I mean
anything
.”
She scooted up, trying to pull her skirt back down. “I don’t understand.”
The old him would’ve nailed her to the chair, but the new him wanted her to want him as much if not more than he wanted her. For that he would wait. Even if it killed him.
He stilled her efforts. “Do you know how incredibly sexy you are all laid out like a feast for a king? I could look at you like this all day long.”
“But you don’t want to have sex with me. Is this some kind of game?”
“I’m not playing here.” He took her hand and put it on his crotch. “Does this feel like a game to you?”
She moved her hand up and down, and he had to grab it between both of his to get her to stop. “Darlin’, if you do that, I’m going to embarrass myself.”