Authors: Dianne Venetta
Sam rounded the kitchen counter. Upon seeing Jess’ expression of disbelief turned to disgust, she became amused. “One day you’ll learn. A woman hits her stride when she enters her thirties. It’s when she knows
what
she’s doing and
how
to do it and at thirty-seven, that makes me pumped, primed, and ready for action!”
Jess rolled her eyes to the back of her head. “Oh
puleeze
, spare me the gory details.”
Sam grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with ice-cold water from the refrigerator door. With a wiggle of her brow she relaxed into the moment. “You used to like it when I divulged details.”
“Yeah, until I learned they had novels for that sort of thing. Now it’s just gross.”
Sam laughed, and shook her head. “Kids. One day you’ll learn.” She dropped her hip against the counter. “So what’s up? What are you doing here?”
Jess sauntered further inside. “It’s good to see you too, sis.”
“Yes, well,” Sam rewarded the girl with a thin smile before taking a sip from her water. “I don’t remember receiving a call forewarning your visit.”
Jess turned uncertain. “What? Did I come at a bad time, or something?”
“A call would have been nice.”
“Didn’t know it was necessary.”
It wasn’t
. Sam blew a sigh of exasperation. Still immersed in her conversation with Vic, she concentrated on changing gears. He was gone and Jess was here. She walked over and gave her sister a hug. Slightly stiff, but returned, Sam released. “So what about school? I thought you were taking summer classes.”
“Decided against it.” Jess eased the bulky canvas pack from her shoulder and settled it onto the back of the sofa. “Thought I’d come home for a visit instead.”
“A visit?”
“You want me to go?” Jessica asked, her attitude a grade more rebellious than the situation warranted.
“Of course not, but what’s up? You and Dad on the outs again?” Every so often the two rammed horns, sending the kid here to pitch her tent. “Is that what this is about?”
“He’s a prick.”
“Don’t speak about him that way. He’s your father.”
Jessica rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “What do you care? Dad thinks you’re flighty.”
“What’s with the nasty attitude, Jess?”
“Nothing,” she snapped. “I’m tired.” As though to prove the point, she walked around her sister and plunked herself down on the sofa. Hoisting one platform clad foot over the opposite knee, she began to unbuckle the ankle strap. “I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t know you would be so bothered.”
Sam came around and set her glass of water on the coffee table, then eased onto the leather cushion next to Jessica. “I’m not bothered,” she said, trying to dispel the tension. Something was off. Jess was one of the most laid-back people she knew. And spontaneous, hence the visit, though she usually called first. “I’m sorry, too. You just caught me off guard.”
That’s when she noticed it. Close up, the glassy red of Jess’ eyes became more visible and below them, the skin was almost translucent, colored by fatigue. Instinctively a hand went to her back. “Are you okay?”
Jessica paused but for a fraction of a second. “Sure,” she replied, her waver near indiscernible. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You don’t look so good.”
She tried to laugh. “Thanks a lot!”
“I mean it,” Sam said, unwilling to be put off. “What’s up? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Jessica slipped the shoe off and massaged her foot. “You’re going into mother hen mode, is all.”
“Not quite.”
“Anyway,” she waved it away. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan to be here long. Week or so, max.”
“Stay as long as you like,” Sam said, trying to decipher the mixed emotions rumbling through her gut. “You know you’re welcome.”
“I appreciate it. It’s been a...” Jess glanced away. “...a rough couple of weeks.”
She knew it
. “Problems with Luke?”
“No, nothing like that. I just needed a break.”
“Empty schedule’s a killer, huh?”
“Whatever.” She zipped the subject closed. “I was hoping you’d have some time while I’m here...to hang out.”
Sam realized in swift recognition it was Jess’ ambiguity that bothered her most. It wasn’t like the kid to skip around questions, or wants. Much like herself, she was point-blank in most things she did.
“Well?” she pressed.
“Sure. I’ve got time.”
Jess brightened. “Maybe we could do the beach one day.”
“Maybe.” While she loved the ocean, sitting around in hot sand wasn’t her first choice, but Jess lived for the beach. She could do nothing but watch the waves for hours. While she enjoyed wave watching, doing it all day long, surrounded by a mass of strangers was not her cup of
chi
. “We’ll see.”
“You don’t want to?”
“No, I do,” she reassured, and pulled Jess into a tight embrace. “I always want us to spend time together.” Sam squeezed harder, marginally placated by the familiar scent of lavender clinging to her sister. It was sweet, clean...
Innocent.
“Thanks.”
Another squeeze, she let go. Then it hit her and she looked around. “Where’s your stuff?” Jessica had carried in her backpack, but no duffel.
“In the car.”
“Okay.” She rose. “Let’s go get it.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jessica blurted, her gaze instantly wary. “I’ll get it later. There’s nothing I need right now. I just want to relax.”
Sam hesitated, warning flares rocketing through her stomach. “All right...”
But it wasn’t. Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
# # #
It wasn’t until Luke showed up in person the next day that Sam had her first inkling as to the severity. “Luke.” She stepped aside, sweeping an arm ahead of him. “Come in.”
“Thanks.”
“Jess isn’t here.”
“No?”
“No,” she said, paying close attention to him as he passed. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He appeared to be his normal, easygoing self. His thick sandy-blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, his attire the usual T-shirt and jeans. He even donned the same hesitant smile.
“When do you think she’ll be back?”
“No telling, really. She went to the beach with her brother, but I expect her anytime.” She circled around him. “I’d give her about an hour or so. You’re welcome to stay and wait for her.”
He looked around and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his baggy jeans. “Thanks.”
“Hungry?”
“Nah.”
“So,” she ventured, intrigued by his surprise arrival. If everything was fine with Luke, why didn’t Jess know to expect him? “How’s everything at school?”
“It’s cool.”
Sam strolled over to the dining table where her purse sat. “Classes going well?”
“Great.”
“When do you graduate? December, right?”
“Looks like it.”
What the hell did that mean? Was he thinking of skipping out, too? Sam smiled and said, “Good. Glad to hear it.”
He nodded, but said nothing.
Not in the talkative mood.
Hmph
. Not exactly strange when considering the source. She glanced at her wristwatch, then slid the leather strap of her bag onto her shoulder. “Well, if you get hungry, help yourself. There’s leftover chicken and rice in the fridge.”
“Okay. Thanks again.”
“I guess I’ll be going.” She had a meeting downtown, one that couldn’t wait.
Sam opened the door to leave and Jess nearly tumbled inside. “Hey—”
Taken aback by the sight of her boyfriend, she stammered. “Luke...”
“Jess.”
Jessica glared at her sister and Sam swore she was about to accuse her of something, but didn’t. Instead, she returned to him. “What are you doing here?”
“What are
you
doing here?”
“I came for a visit,” she blurted, her gaze bouncing askew off Sam.
Sam straightened, curiosity solidifying into resolve. “It looks like you two have some things to discuss.” She tightened her grip on the doorknob. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” And when I return, she tacked on in silent reproach,
I want answers
.
Jess closed the door behind Sam, her heart thudding hard against her ribs. She couldn’t believe this was happening. “What are you freaking doing here!”
Luke turned puppy-dog sad. “You didn’t even tell me, babe.”
Jessica’s heart fell, while her limbs shredded. Shit.
Shit
! Her gaze darted about as she grasped for something to say. She wasn’t ready for this scene. She wasn’t ready to see him.
Luke stood rock still, waiting for her to come clean.
Jessica felt trapped. How did he get here so fast?
No—this couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be hap-pening.
“What’s up, babe?” His hands sought his pockets. “What’s going on?”
But it was happening. She ventured further inside. No place to run, no place to hide, she stood in the center of Sam’s living room.
Completely out of sync with Sam’s sleek furnishings, her boyfriend looked odd, almost lost. Except for his eyes. They were holding sharp and tight on her.
There was no way to avoid his presence.
But she didn’t have to talk to him, either. Jess moved past him and into the kitchen. She dropped her backpack onto the polished black granite, still reeling from the unexpected sight of him.
She thought she left this scene behind her. Thought she put some space between them, but no. Here he stood,
waiting
. With two fingers, she scooped long bangs up over her head and out of her face—and stared.
What could she say? I went to the doctor? The news isn’t good? Luke was a laid-back guy, but she was afraid this might totally undo him.
He moved toward her and she tensed, every cell in her body jumping to high alert. “Babe,” he said, his tone silky smooth. “Are we okay?”
Of course. Luke was worried she was breaking up with him.
A blast of hope shot through her.
Maybe she should
. That would solve everything. Right here, right now, she could end it.
He closed the distance to a couple of feet and her throat locked up. His eyes narrowed in and she felt cornered. Damn it, she couldn’t lie to him. This was Luke—she loved him! The guy knew her inside and out.
He would know in a second she wasn’t being truthful. She swallowed hard. Her hand began to shake. “Yeah, babe, we’re fine,” she replied, hating the brittle crack in her voice.
But when he tried to touch a hand to her cheek, she backed out of his reach.
Luke dropped his hand to his side, a sharp edge lining his eyes. “You don’t look fine.” A sliver of distrust tainted his words as he said, “You act like you don’t want to see me.”
Jessica turned away. Hey—
she
didn’t invite him here. That was his choice. Anxiety turned to irritation. “I just need some space, Luke.”
“From me?” His disbelief was stark. “What the hell have I done?”
A stab of guilt plunged into her.
Nothing
.
“I...it’s not you...it’s me...” But to tell him the truth would seal her fate.
Again. Like when she had received the news herself. Unable to continue, Jessica held a hand up between them.
“Listen, babe, this isn’t cool.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “Whatever’s eating at you, we can work it out. Together. I know we can.” A smile tried to enter his eyes, but didn’t quite make it. “I love you.”
Tears stung. Oh how she
wished
it were so easy. She would like nothing more than to rush into his arms, forget about her problems, and let him kiss them all away.
But she couldn’t.
“Babe..?”
The soft sheen of tears forming in his eyes unlatched her heart and dropped it to the floor. She swallowed against the hard knot, formed high and tight in her throat. Luke was scared. Like her.
Only he didn’t know why.
“I can’t do this,” she murmured. “I can’t...” Before he could stop her, Jessica dashed down the hall and closed the door to her bedroom with a quiet slam. She turned the lock for safekeeping.
Hers
.
# # #
Sam slid the key in her door and let herself inside, jarred by the blaring music. Nestled between two oversized cushions, Jessica sat watching music videos with one arm slung over the top of her head in its customary resting position, the other aiming the remote at the television midair, as though threatening she would change the channel any second if the band missed a beat to her liking.
Sam didn’t recognize the song, but then country didn’t suit her taste. She preferred the wild thumping of Flamenco or the soothing calm of New Age instrumentals to the clang and whine currently blaring from the television. “Am I out of touch,” she asked, “or is country music starting to sound like classic rock?”
“Both.”
“Very funny,” Sam replied with a small smile, warmed by her sister’s spunk. It was a refreshing change. Giving a light smack to the back of Jessica’s head in passing, she looked around. “Where’s Luke?”
“He left.” The younger clicked the TV off.
“Where’d he go?”
“To a friend’s.”
A friend’s. Okay... Not what she’d call full disclo-sure, but it was a start. Sam walked up and deposited her purse onto the back of the sofa. “And, how did it go?”
“It went.”
“C’mon, Jess. Stop the hedge,” Sam said, tired, irritable, but she hesitated to press too hard. “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing to tell.”
Sam walked around and lowered herself next to her kid sister. The girl didn’t look good. Pallid skin that normally shone a peachy tan was home to eyes more drab than brown. And her mood was flat and completely out of character for the girl. Jess was a tornado, her personality spirited and unpredictable and sure, sometimes stormy, but this...
She gently pushed the hair from her cheek. This was drizzle and doldrums and it pained Sam to see her this way.
Jessica drew her legs up onto to the cushion and hugged them to her chest. She stole a glance at Sam. “I think maybe I should take a break from classes for a while.”