MacNamarasLady (15 page)

“Maybe you should sit here for a bit.”
Worry filled his gaze, along with pity. She hated pity. As a child, she’d seen
neighbors, well-meaning teachers and social workers stare at her with that
look. They’d all known when her father was in jail. Sometimes for assault,
other times for property damage or petty theft. She hated pity. She might have
come from trash, but she’d bettered herself though hard work and perseverance.
She was strong.

Missy straightened her shoulders. “I’m
fine. Please let me know what happens with…” She gestured her hand toward the
file on the desk. The attack was overshadowed by the enormity of T.S.’
deception.

“I will.”

She spun around and left, clutching her
purse tight. The heels of her boots clicked along the tile floor, the rhythm
getting faster and faster as she all but ran for the door. The man she was
sleeping with, was in love with was an ex-con.

The one thing she’d promised herself when
she’d left home was that she’d only get involved with men who were honest and
forthright. Her father had spent time in prison. Both her brothers had done
prison time for fighting and stealing by the time she’d left home. Missy wanted
none of that in her life.

A sob broke from her throat as she stumbled
to her car. Her hand shook so bad she dropped her keys twice before jamming the
right one into the lock. When she was safe inside she swiped at the tears
rolling down her cheeks. “You will not cry.”

She took a deep breath and slowly released
it. Then another. And another until she was sure she wasn’t going to shed any
more tears. “He’s not worth it.” Her father hadn’t been worth it. And neither
were her brothers.

But T.S. was different, her heart cried.
“Sex. That’s all it was. Sex.” She ignored the acute sense of betrayal and the
ache in her heart. She rubbed her chest and bit her bottom lip, desperate to
bottle up the emotions swirling inside her.

Her breathing was ragged but she kept on
working at slowing it down. In and out. The windows of her car fogged as the
cold of the day and the heat from her breath collided.

She blanked her mind, refusing to think
about the past month. All the good times they’d shared. The laughter. The love.
Because she did love him. That’s what made the betrayal all the worse. She’d
finally lowered her guard enough to love a man and he turned out to be an
ex-con, the one thing she’d sworn would never happen.

Minutes ticked by and she gradually gained
control of wayward emotions. When she was calm enough, she started her car and
headed toward Lucas’ building downtown. T.S. would be working there today and
she wanted some answers.

* * * * *

T.S. was whistling under his breath as he
installed the last tile and stepped away to admire his work. The bathroom was
almost completed. The tub and shower combo were installed. The toilet and sink
were in, the walls were plastered and painted. All that was left to be done was
the grout, baseboards and trim. It looked good, if he did say so himself.

Justin usually helped him but today he’d
called and said he wouldn’t be able to make it. He’d sounded tense, but T.S.
hadn’t asked. Not his business until Justin wanted him to know. He’d enjoyed
the solitude. He was usually with his crew, working on the latest project or
seeing clients to line up future work. It was rare he got the opportunity to
work alone these days.

He cleaned up the mess, putting his tools
aside, before he glanced at his watch. It was a bit early but he might call it
a day and see if he could talk Missy into doing the same. They could pick up
something and take it back to her place to eat. Maybe a pizza. His stomach
growled in agreement. Yeah, a pizza would definitely work.

He stood at the kitchen sink and scrubbed
his hands while his thoughts wandered to Missy. He knew he was spending way too
much time with her. Allowing her to become too important in his life. But he
couldn’t seem to stop himself. She made him smile. She challenged him in every
way possible and he found he liked that. She was smart and sassy and sexy as
hell.

Just thinking about her made him hard.
Hell, he’d walked around semi-erect for the past four weeks.

A sound behind him made him glance over his
shoulder. As if his thoughts had summoned her, there she was. Tall and gorgeous
in her high-heeled boots. Her dark brown winter coat brought out the color in
her eyes and complemented her skin. He wanted to eat her up.

“Hey, babe. I wasn’t expecting you to show
up here.”

“Don’t call me that.” Her harsh reply had
him reaching for the towel and drying his hands. Tension radiated from her body
and thin lines of stress stretched between her brows.

“What’s wrong?” He started toward her but
stopped when she took a step back. If he didn’t know better he’d think she was
afraid of him. This wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong?” she repeated. “What’s
wrong? I went to the police station today and identified my second attacker.”

T.S. swore under his breath. Damn
independent woman. “You should have told me. I’d have gone with you.”

She stared at him as though she didn’t
believe a word he was saying. His concern was pushing way into the worried
zone. “I wouldn’t think you’d like spending time with the police, considering
your past.”

T.S. felt his insides freeze. She couldn’t
have found out about his past. He never talked about it. To anyone. Only Lucas
and his mother knew about those dark days. He’d cut all ties with his old
neighborhood, plus it was old business. Ancient history. “What do you mean?”

“What do you think?” She crossed her arms
over her chest. He recognized the defensive gesture for what it was and he braced
for the worst. “I found out you’d been in prison. In prison! Why didn’t you
tell me?”

He mimicked her pose, crossing his arms
over his chest. Every muscle in his body tensed. A nerve beneath his right eye
twitched. This was what you got when you opened yourself up. He knew better but
he’d allowed it to happen anyway. “It wasn’t any of your business.” His voice
was hard and cold.

Missy jerked back in surprise, but quickly
collected herself. “How can you say that? We were sleeping together.”

Anger filled him and he lashed out. “Babe,
we weren’t doing much sleeping.”

She flinched, but set her jaw in a familiar
stubborn line. “No, we weren’t. But I made the erroneous assumption that there
was more to our relationship than sex. My bad.”

He raked his hand through his hair. Shit,
he hated feeling like the bad guy here. He hadn’t done anything wrong. “Look,
it happened a long time ago. I don’t talk about it. With anyone.”

“Fine.” Missy turned and stalked toward the
door.

“So that’s it. You’re just going to walk
away.” His chest tightened with each step she took.

“You were the one who said it was nothing
but sex. Well, I don’t sleep with ex-cons.” She laughed but it wasn’t a
pleasant sound. “Scratch that, I guess I have. You’d get along great with my
father and brothers. They’re ex-cons too.”

After dropping that bombshell, she left,
her boots clicking against the wood floor.

“Fuck.” T.S. balled his hands into fists
and thought about driving them through the wall. Thankfully he’d passed that
kind of stupid years ago. It would hurt like hell and only mean more work for
him in the long run.

He took a step toward the door and stopped.
He wouldn’t go after her. He couldn’t. He knew it was pride keeping him from
calling out to her, from begging her to stay, to talk this out. But sometimes
that was all a man had.

He’d made a stupid fucking mistake as a
kid. One step off the straight and narrow and it had messed up his life
forever. His only true crime was in trusting his older brother and a girl he’d
been smitten with. For that he’d paid. Big-time. He didn’t owe Missy or anyone
else any explanations. He’d built a life for himself out of the ruins of his
childhood. And he was happy with it.

He absently rubbed at his chest. It felt as
though someone had reached into it and yanked his heart out. No, not just
someone. Missy.

“Damn it.” He tossed pride away and stalked
out of the apartment, hurrying down the stairs. But it was too late. By the
time he burst through the door, Missy was long gone. He looked up and down the
sidewalk but she was nowhere to be seen.

It was just as well. He wasn’t about to beg
the woman to listen to him. She’d judged him without even asking to hear his
side of the story. And he’d spent half his life being judged. Those days were
over. He’d worked hard to gain the self-respect he had today.

He didn’t need such a closed-minded person
in his life. She had such high standards and expected everyone else to live up
to them. No one was that perfect.

An inner voice told him that wasn’t fair.
Considering what she’d told him about her family, it was a wonder she hadn’t
ended up like them. She’d made her code and lived by it, dragging herself out
of the cycle of despair, much as he had.

They had more in common than she realized.
Both of them, it appeared, were trying to forget a past that just wouldn’t stay
buried.

Chapter Ten

“
He should have told
me.” Missy was curled up on one end of her sofa with Candy sitting on the
other. She had a glass of wine in one hand and a tissue in the other. Thank God
for good friends. Candy had come as soon as Missy had called her.

“Maybe he would have in time.”

Missy didn’t want to listen to reason. She
wanted her friend to agree with her. “Why did he wait?”

“Maybe because he thought you might react
like this. Or maybe because he considers it his past.” Candy set her wineglass
on the coffee table, leaned forward and rested her hand on Missy’s leg,
squeezing gently.

Missy resisted the childish urge to pull
her leg away. “Whose side are you on?”

Candy sighed and sat back, her eyes troubled.
“I’m on both your sides.” She tucked a lock of her curly brown hair behind her
ear. “Maybe you should have asked him what happened instead of just cutting him
out of your life.”

The accusation stung. “I don’t want an
ex-con in my life.” Even as she said it she felt a pain in her chest at the
thought of never seeing T.S. again. It was almost too much to bear.

It had only been a couple of hours but she
felt as though she was in mourning. She fluctuated between righteous anger and
profound hurt. It was enough to make a girl dizzy.

Damn the man for making her fall in love
with him. And damn her for letting it happen.

Candy nibbled on her bottom lip. Missy
recognized the gesture and knew her friend was worried about something. “What?
You disagree?”

She expected Candy to support her and was
shocked when her friend nodded. “I don’t agree at all. Sometimes there are
circumstances.”

“You know about my past.”

Compassion filled Candy’s eyes. “I do. I
know it wasn’t easy growing up with a violent father who was in and out of
prison, an alcoholic mother, a sister who didn’t care about anyone but herself
and older brothers who followed in their father’s footsteps.”

That was an understatement. It was hell.
She and her older sister had gotten away. The other two had spiraled downward
into violence, crime, drugs and alcohol just like their parents had. She set
her wineglass aside. She didn’t mind a social drink but preferred not to do so
when she was upset. It was an easy path to go down for someone who had an
alcoholic mother as an example on how to deal with stress.

“But you’re not the only one who’s had it
tough. Some people make mistakes but manage to change their lives for the
better.”

Missy hated feeling like she was in the
wrong here. “He lied to me.”

“No, he simply hadn’t told you yet.” Candy
sighed. “Listen to me. The man built a business from nothing. He works hard and
he’s honest. He’s kind and good, if a bit gruff.” She laid out her best
argument, trumping all Missy’s. “And he saved you from a brutal attack, maybe
even from being murdered. The least you could have done was keep an open mind.”

Candy was right. Missy felt like crap and
had ever since she’d stormed away from T.S. She’d simply reacted to the
blindsiding she’d received, not taking the time to think before she acted.

Her friend continued. “You have very high
expectations, Missy. Sometimes it’s hard to live up to them. No,” Candy
corrected. “It’s downright impossible for mere mortals to live up to them.”

The accusation hit Missy like a two-by-four
up the side of the head. “Are you saying I’m a snob?” As much as she hated to
admit it, Candy wasn’t the first person to point this out to her. The
accusation stung, especially coming from her best friend. Usually, it was some
guy she was dating, although a few co-workers had pointed the fact out from
time-to-time.

Missy prided herself on working hard and
being better than her upbringing. She had standards that she set for herself.
She saw no reason to apologize for that fact. But the idea that she was judging
people, giving the impression she thought herself better than them made her
feel sick to her stomach. It wasn’t that way at all. Was it?