THE AFTERNOON WAS SWELTERING
inside the morning room. Opening the windows hadn’t helped; there wasn’t a breath of air stirring. Malta plucked at the collar of her dress, pulling the damp fabric away from her skin.
“I remember when we used to drink iced tea here. And your cook would make those tiny lemon pastries.” Delo sounded more fretful about Malta’s reduced circumstances than Malta herself. In fact, it rather irritated Malta to have her friend so pointedly noticing all the deficiencies in her home.
“Times have changed,” Malta pointed out wearily. She walked over to the open window and leaned out to look at the neglected rose garden. The bushes were blooming voluptuously and sprawling, rejoicing in their lack of discipline. “Ice is expensive,” she pointed out.
“My papa bought two blocks yesterday,” Delo said negligently. She fanned herself. “Cook is making ices for dessert tonight.”
“Oh. How nice.” Malta’s voice was void of expression. How much of this did Delo expect her to take? First, she had shown up in a new dress with a fan and a hat to match. The fan was made of spice paper, and gave off a pleasant scent when she used it. It was the newest vogue in Bingtown. Then Delo hadn’t even asked how the ship was coming along, or if they’d received a ransom note yet. “Let’s go out in the shade,” Malta suggested.
“No, not yet.” Delo glanced around the room as if servants might be spying. Malta almost sighed. They didn’t have servants to eavesdrop. With a great show of secrecy, Delo pulled a small purse from inside the waistband of her skirt. In a lowered voice, she confided, “Cerwin sent you this, to help you in these troubled times.”
For an instant, Malta could almost share Delo’s enjoyment of this dramatic moment. Then it fluttered away from her. When she had first learned of her father’s abduction, it had seemed exciting and fraught with tragedy. She had thrown herself into exploiting the situation to the limit of its theatrical possibilities. Now the days had passed, one after another, full of anxiety and stress. No good news had come. Bingtown had not rallied to their side. People had expressed sympathy, but only as a courtesy. A few had sent flowers with notes of commiseration, as if her father were already dead. Despite her plea to Reyn that he come to her, he had not. No one had rallied to her.
Day after day had ground by in deadly, boring desperation. It had slowly come to Malta that this was real, and that it might be the death knell for her family’s fortune. She could not sleep for thinking of it. When she did fall asleep, her dreams were disturbing ones. Something stalked her, determined to bend her to its will. The dreams she could remember were like evil sendings from someone determined to break her hopes. Yesterday morning she had awakened with a cry, from a nightmare in which her father’s wasted body washed up on the beach. He could be dead, she suddenly realized. He could already be dead and all these efforts for nothing. She had lost spirit that day, and had not been able to recover hope or purpose since then.
She took the little purse from Delo’s hand and sat down. Her friend’s discontented expression showed that she had expected a more passionate response. She feigned examining it. It was a little cloth purse, extensively embroidered and closed with gilt strings. Cerwin had probably bought it especially for this gift. She tried to take some pleasure in that. But thoughts of Cerwin were not as exciting as they had once been. He hadn’t kissed her.
She still hadn’t recovered from that disappointment. But what had followed was even worse. She had believed that men had power. The very first time she ever asked one to use that power for her, he failed her. Cerwin Trell had promised her he would help, but what had he done? At the Trader meeting, he had stared at her most improperly. Half the people there must have noticed it. Did he get up and speak when Althea was asking the Traders to help? Had he nudged his father to speak? No. All he had done was make calf eyes at her. No one had helped her. No one would help her.
“Free me and I will aid you. I promise you this.”
The words of the dragon from the dream she had shared with Reyn suddenly echoed in her head. She felt a twinge of pain, as if a string pulled tight between her temples had suddenly become tauter. She wished she could just go and lie down for a time. Delo cleared her throat, abruptly reminding Malta that she was just sitting there, holding Cerwin’s gift-purse.
Malta tugged open the neck of the bag and spilled the contents out into her lap. There were some coins in it, and a few rings. “Cerwin is going to be in big trouble if Papa finds out he gave those rings to you,” Delo told Malta accusingly. “That little silver one is one Mama gave him for doing well at his lessons.” She crossed her arms and looked at Malta disapprovingly.
“He won’t find out,” Malta told her bleakly. Delo was such a child. The rings were scarcely worth the trouble of selling them. No doubt, Delo thought this little bag a magnificent gift, but Malta knew better. She had spent the entire morning on the household books, and knew that what was in this purse was barely enough to hire two good workmen for a week. She wondered if Cerwin had as little knowledge of finances as Delo did. Malta hated helping to keep the accounts, but she understood money far better now. She recalled the rush of chagrin she had felt when she discovered just how foolishly she had spent the coins her father had given her. They should have been enough for a dozen dresses. Those small gold pieces had been worth far more than was in this bag. She wished she had them back now. They would have gone much further toward getting that ship off the sand than what Cerwin had given her. The boy simply did not grasp the size of her problem. It was as disappointing as the lack of a kiss.
“Why didn’t he say anything at the meeting?” she wondered aloud. “He knows what is at risk. He knows what it means to me. But he did nothing.”
Delo was huffy. “He did. He did everything he could. He talked to Papa at home. Papa said it was a very complicated situation and that we could not get involved.”
“What is complicated?” Malta demanded. “My father has been kidnapped and we must go and rescue him. We need help!”
Delo folded her arms on her chest and cocked her head. “That is a Vestrit matter. The Trell family cannot solve it for you. We have trading interests of our own to maintain. If we invest money in a search for your father, what will the return be for us?”
“Delo!” Malta was shocked. The pain she felt was genuine. “We are talking about my father’s life … the only one who truly cares what becomes of me! This isn’t about money and profit!”
“Everything eventually comes down to a profit,” Delo declared harshly. Then her expression suddenly softened. “That is what my father said to Cerwin. They argued, Malta. It frightened me. The last time I remember two men shouting at each other was when Brashen lived at home. He used to argue with my father all the time… At least, he would stand there like a stick while my father roared at him. A lot of it I don’t remember. I was little. They always sent me out of the room. Then, one day, my father told me that Cerwin was my only brother now. That Brashen would never be coming home again.” Delo’s voice faltered. “The arguing stopped.” She swallowed. “It’s not like your family, Malta. You all argue and shout and say terrible things, but then you hold together. No one is thrown out forever, not even your Aunt Althea. My family isn’t like that. There isn’t room in my family for that.” She shook her head. “If Cerwin had kept arguing, I’m afraid I’d have no brothers at all now.” She looked at Malta in a direct appeal. “Please. Don’t ask my brother to help you with this. Please.”
The plea rattled Malta. “I’m … sorry,” she said awkwardly. She had never thought that her experiments with Cerwin would affect anyone besides him. Lately, everything seemed so much bigger and far-flung than it once had. When she had first heard that her father was taken, it had not seemed real. She had used it as an opportunity to indulge her sense of the tragic. She had play-acted the role of a stricken daughter, but she had really believed that any day at all, her father would come home. Pirates could not really have taken her papa. Not brave, handsome Kyle Haven. Nevertheless, slowly it had become real. At first, she had feared that he would never come home to make her life better. Only now was she realizing he might never come home at all.
She scooped the coins and rings back into the purse. She offered it to Delo. “You should take this back to Cerwin. I don’t want him to get in trouble.” It also wasn’t enough to do her any good, but she wouldn’t mention that.
Delo looked horrified. “I can’t. He’d know that I’d said something to you. He’d be furious with me. Please, Malta, you have to keep it, so I can tell him I gave it to you. Also, he asked me to ask you to write him a note back or send him a token.”
Malta just looked at her. Sometimes, lately, she felt like she had run out of ideas and plans. She knew she should stand and pace a turn about the room. She knew she should say something like, “There are so few things left I can call mine … most of them I have sold to raise money to rescue my father.” At one time, that would have seemed so fine and romantic. She had felt like a heroine in a story when she had emptied her jewelry box onto the table that first day. She had put her bracelets and rings and necklaces out and then sorted them into piles as Grandmother and Aunt Althea and her own mother were doing. It had seemed like a ritual for women. The little muttered comments were like prayers.
This is gold, this is silver, this is old-fashioned, but the stones are good.
And all the little stories they had told one another, stories they already knew. “I remember when Daddy gave me this, the very first ring I ever had, look, it won’t even go on my little finger now.” Or, Grandmother saying, “These still smell so lovely,” and Althea adding, “I remember the day Papa chose those for you. I remember asking him why he was buying perfume gems, when he didn’t like Rain Wild goods, and he said you wanted them so badly he didn’t care.” They shared stories as they sorted out gold and jewels that were suddenly memories of better times. But no one had flinched, no one had held anything back, not even their tears. Malta had even wanted to put out the things Reyn had given her, but they had all told her that she must keep them, for if she eventually refused his suit, then they all must be returned. That morning was both dismal and shining in her memory. Odd. That day she had felt more like a woman grown than any time before then.
But in the days since then, there had been only the reality of the empty jewelry box gaping at her from her dresser. She had things she could have worn, a child’s ornaments, enameled pins and shell beads, as well as the things from Reyn, but somehow she could not wear them while the other women of her family went ringless and unornamented. She rose and went to the small writing desk. She found a pen, ink and a sheet of thin paper. She wrote quickly. “Dear friend, thank you so much for your expression of caring in our time of need. With great sincerity.” The words reminded her of the correct thank-you notes she had helped pen to those who had sent flowers to them. She signed it with her initials, then folded it and sealed it with a drop of wax. As she gave it to Delo, she wondered at herself. Even a week ago, she would have carefully composed any missive she sent Cerwin. She would have filled it with innuendoes and words that seemed to say a great deal more than they did. She managed a sad smile. “The words are bland. I feel much more than I dare commit to paper.”
There. That would leave him some hopes. It was all she had the energy for on this hot day.
Delo took it and slipped it into her cuff. She looked around the room. “Well,” she said disappointedly. “I suppose I should go home.”
“I’m not much company today,” Malta admitted. “I’ll walk you out.”
At the door, a pony trap and a man to drive it awaited Delo. That, too, was new. The Trell family was obviously preparing to present Delo as a young woman at the midsummer ball. Malta would be presented at the same ball. She and her mother were using the fabric from several older dresses in the house to create a new gown for her. Her slippers would be new, as would her headpiece and her fan. At least, so she hoped. Nothing was certain anymore. She imagined she would ride there in Trader Restart’s old carriage. It was yet another humiliation that she could not face just now.
Delo hugged her and kissed her on the cheek at the door. She did it as if it were a trick she had recently learned. It probably was, Malta reflected bitterly. Many of the young girls of the better families received instruction in the finer points of etiquette before they were presented. Another small thing that Malta would never have. She shut the door while Delo was still waving farewells with her new fan. It was a petty revenge, but she felt better for it.
She took the small bag of coins and the rings to her room. She spilled them out on her bed. They had not grown. She looked at it and wondered how she could make this small addition to their ship fund without explaining where it came from. She frowned. Could she do nothing right? She scooped the coins and baubles into the bag and tucked it into her blanket chest. She flung herself down on her bed to think.
The day was too hot and there was too much work to do. There was weeding in the kitchen garden, and herbs to gather, tie and hang. Her dress for the Summer Ball was still only half finished. She had not the heart to work on it, not after seeing Delo’s new finery. Malta was sure that everyone would know it was made over from old dresses. She recalled how she had dreamed of her first Summer Ball. She had visualized herself in an extravagant gown, entering on her father’s arm. She smiled bitterly and closed her eyes. It was almost as if she were under a curse. Anything sweet, wonderful, and romantic that she ever imagined, she would never have.
She counted her disappointments drowsily. No lovely dress and carriage for the ball. No dashing sea-captain father to escort her. Cerwin had failed her; he didn’t even know when to kiss a girl. Reyn had not come to her. She hated her life. All the problems were too big. She was trapped in a life she was helpless to change. The day was too hot. She was suffocating in its embrace. It was so stuffy.