Authors: Christopher George
“This isn’t like the time you set the oven on fire is it?” she asked with a wry smile on her face and glancing around the house with mock alarm.
“The oven is fine and besides, that wasn’t my fault!” I declared, my face taking on that of the terminally misunderstood.
“How was that not your fault?” she enquired curtly.
“It’s an oven,” I insisted. “It’s supposed to be able to handle heat! It’s the manufacturer’s fault really, not mine!”
“Most people don’t cook their toast until it’s glowing charcoal,” said Mum.
“Maybe that’s the way I like my food.” I smiled cheekily.
“Then you definitely got your cooking skills from your father and not me!” Mum retorted.
“Hey! I cooked the sausages without setting off the alarm!” I was the wounded party here. My culinary skills had been questioned. I got to my feet to defend my honour and right the slur against my name.
“You didn’t use the microwave did you?” Mum asked suspiciously, glancing around the kitchen. She must have noticed the frying pan in the kitchen sink – which would have attested to the fact I hadn’t used the microwave.
“Sheesh, that was only one time I did that!” I grinned back.
“They were like pencils.” Mum shuddered with remembered distaste.
“Well, it was better than the time I tried to make mashed potato in the microwave,” I reminded her.
“Yes well, I’m still not sure we got that all cleaned out properly.” Mum nodded to me, screwing up her nose. I’d spent several hours cleaning out the microwave after that attempt until Mum had grudgingly declared it clean.
“Yes, I’ve learned my lesson – mashed potato is not a food to be cooked in a microwave,” I replied solemnly. “Even if you can buy it in microwave packets.”
“That’s right.” Mum nodded agreeably. “We’ll make a cook of you yet. Good night love, don’t stay up any later.” Mum smiled as she turned to head towards her bedroom.
“Oh, and if you’re going to go skating out late, put on a helmet next time,” she called back from her room.
I chuckled softly to myself. There is one absolute constant in the universe – there is no chance of pulling the wool over my mother’s eyes. She must have spotted me on my way home. Fortunately she didn’t know where I’d been.
* * * *
The following afternoon we had a school assembly for the final year students. They had cramped us into a common room designed for half the number of students. The Year Twelve coordinator was a small Chinese lady renowned for having a fearsome temper and carrying a bright yellow flyswatter. She would use the flyswatter on students whose crimes included having their shirts untucked or walking across the pavilion grass.
I had felt its cruel lash on many occasions and I had no desire to cross paths with her again. It was incredibly embarrassing being bullied around by such a small woman. I suspect on some level that this was her desired goal. It wasn’t like she actually ever hurt us with the fly swatter and even if she did accidently hit us. It’s a damned fly swatter. How much would it have possibly hurt? It was damned embarrassing though.
I realised that I’d once again managed to drift off into my own thoughts and I had missed most of the assembly. Normally this wasn’t a bad thing as they were pretty boring but this assembly had begun with terrifying words written across the white board – Mid Year Exams.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the assembly merely appeared to be an exercise in pointing out the importance of these exams. I wasn’t too concerned as I already knew that I wouldn’t be going to university next year anyway and had thus managed to avoid the whole drama.
I waited behind after the assembly to allow the majority of students to fight their way out of the small doors to the common room. I had no interest in attempting to push myself through the hundred or so other students who were attempting to do the same thing.
“Do you need something, Devon?” Mr Saunders boomed at me from across the room as he noticed me still slouched against a chair.
I grinned back at him and hiked a finger towards the doors as the commotion of students and smirked.
“Just waiting to avoid the rush,” I replied.
I could see Mr Cromby standing behind Mr Saunders and smiling slightly at my response, but Mr Saunders just grunted and muttered, “Get to class.”
I shrugged and got to my feet to join the end of the queue.
The rest of the day went quickly. I was the last of our little group to arrive at our after school meeting place. The others were waiting for me. Garry was standing impatiently off to one side with a scowl on his face. “You took long enough,” Garry grumbled as I walked out of the school gates.
“Sorry,” I replied.
I was not really that sorry at all. Tina looped an arm through mine and pulled me next to her. She looked pleased to see me at least.
“Hi!” she chirped and kissed me on the cheek.
“Sorry I’m late,” I shrugged. This time I was a little more sorry.
“Not a problem,” she replied. “I’m happy to wait.”
“Well at least someone was,” Tony chipped in. “The rest of us were going to ditch you.”
“Shut up, Tony.” I chuckled, as we went on our way.
Our destination was the local shopping centre food court. We’d stop there occasionally after school, when enough of us had money. It wasn't something the school approved of, in fact we'd been instructed on several occasions to go home first to change out of our uniforms. We politely ignored this mandate. It didn't seem to make much sense for us to walk all the way home and then to walk back. The shopping centre had recently just been overhauled and the food court was incredible. We gathered around one of the tables to chat. Sarah and Tony went off to order some food.
“Oh, I’ve got something for you.” Tina smiled as she started rummaging through her bag. She eventually drew out a small folder and passed me a folded piece of paper. I unfolded the note and read it. In neat little rows in Tina’s immaculate handwriting was my entire mid-year exam timetable. She had even included the class, exam time and even the exam room. Tina had recorded everything I’d need for my exams.
“Where did you get this from?” I stammered, a little confused. I didn’t remember this information being given out.
“They gave it out at the assembly,” Tony informed me with a slight grin on his face at my confusion.
“I knew you weren’t paying attention!” Tina laughed. “Someone needs to look out for you!”
“Thank you!” I breathed gratefully, studying the timetable. It looked pretty doable, except for that three-hour English exam. That sounded pretty rough.
“You’re very welcome!” Tina replied, smiling as I kissed her on the cheek and pulled her chair in a little closer to mine, pulling her into a close embrace.
“Keep your hands above the table there, buddy-boy,” Sarah snickered as she returned to the table with her food and saw the two of us cuddling.
“Who are you talking to there?” Tina laughed cheekily, thrusting her own hands below the table and placing them on my knee. I grinned and began to make mock moaning noises with a dopey expression on my face. Tina immediately pulled her hands away and glanced worriedly around the food court.
“Too far?”
“Just a little,” Tina said.
“It’s nice to know where that line is,” I said.
“It’s usually about three feet behind you,” Garry snorted.
“All part of my charm.”
“You have charm?” Tina turned to look at me in mock amazement. The rest of the group broke into laughter.
“Nice,” I grumbled as I got to my feet. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get a drink.”
“You’re supposed to cuddle her afterwards you fool!” Tony called out before being elbowed in the ribs by Sarah.
I returned with my drink several minutes later, and walked into a discussion on the exam timetable. Tina and Sarah in particular were quite concerned about the seriousness of the exams. A bad result could affect our final marks for the whole year.
“Change of topic,” I announced, retaking my seat. Tony and Garry looked relieved at my suggestion. The girls just looked a little annoyed.
“Well what do you want to talk about then, Devon?” Sarah asked sarcastically.
“Absolutely anything else,” I breathed theatrically.
“Amen,” Tony agreed, drawing Sarah's ire towards him.
I leaned back on my chair looking for a suitable response when I noticed another group of students from our school sitting at one of the other tables. Sitting at the head of their table was Mark Constance.
He was looking in our direction, in particular towards Tina and me. He had a look of raw hatred on his face. I ignored him, turning back to my friends. You know that feeling you get when you know you're being watched and it’s really creepy? I had that uncomfortable feeling for the remainder of the conversation. After about five or ten minutes of this I could no longer stand it and I decided to leave. Which was fortunate because everyone else looked about ready to go.
“Well folks. That’s it for me,” I announced. “Walk you to your car, Tina?”
I offered her my hand and pulled her next to me. I noticed as I did this that Mark had also gotten to his feet and was making his way towards the exit. Tina and I walked hand-in-hand only to have Mark run up from behind us to move in front to block the doorway.
“I don't like you two going out. ’You're a fucking loser!” he blurted out as he flexed his fists against his sides nervously. I wasn't sure what he was so nervous about but it was obvious from his stance and facial expression that something was bugging him.
“I don't recall asking,” I snapped and simply moved to one side. He didn't respond or make any move to follow us. He just watched us as we made our way back into the shopping centre.
“What a tool,” I murmured to Tina as we were out of earshot.
“He used to tease me unmercifully during lower school. He made my life a living hell,” Tina said.
Upon later reflection it was obvious what the problem was with Mark. He had a thing for Tina and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. I thought I was bad with women, but I could have taken lessons from this guy on how to repel girls.
* * * *
Tina pushed me away breathlessly as her lips pulled themselves from mine. Her eyes glittered as they pierced into mine.
“Will you miss me this weekend?” she asked in a husky voice, keeping her body pressed against me.
“Definitely,” I said, still a little out of breath from our efforts.
Tina had waited until we were in the lower car park of the shopping centre before throwing me against a wall and launching herself at me.
“Miss me?” I whispered, still trying to gain my breath back.
She nodded agreeably, her impish face alight with mischief.
“Maybe I’ll call you Saturday night,” she whispered, her hands trailing through my hair provocatively.
“Maybe I’ll call you Saturday night,” I whispered back.
“No, better not, my parents will be home Saturday night,” she said, becoming sombre for a second. “They don’t know I’m seeing anyone. I’d rather not give them any clues just yet, at least until I’m ready for you to meet them.”
I nodded. Tina’s parents were crazy-strict and had forbidden her dating anyone during her final year of high school. I’d met them once when they’d picked Tina up from one of Sarah’s birthday parties. They didn’t look like the type you wanted to get on the bad side of.
“You do want to meet them, right?” Tina asked.
I didn’t think it was worth mentioning that I’d already met them. I knew what Tina meant. It wasn’t so much a matter of meeting them, but of them meeting me.
I nodded the affirmative grimly.
“Come on,” Tina urged. “Walk me to my car.”
“At your service.” I bowed and leaned forward offering her my arm. “This way if you please, ma’am.”
Tina’s face glowed with amusement. “You really are an idiot sometimes, you know that don’t you?” she murmured as she took my arm. I simply nodded with a cheesy grin on my face. I was starting to really like her. Sure, it wasn’t fireworks like with Renee, but it was nice, it was easy. I felt good when I was around her.
“Oh, and you need a haircut,” Tina said.
“I thought I’d grow it out, tie it back into a pony-tail maybe,” I said.
“Not if I’m going to introduce you to my parents you’re not.”
“Would you like me to put on a suit as well – with a tie?” I grimaced.
“That would do nicely,” Tina replied thoughtfully.
I sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. I don’t normally make very good first impressions and Tina’s parents appeared by all expectations to be a very hard crowd to please.
“Anything else?” I muttered, despondent.
“Only that I’ll make it up to you,” Tina whispered provocatively, kissing me quickly on the cheek before dashing off laughing.
I gave chase and didn’t have too much trouble catching her, although in all fairness I suspected that she wasn’t really trying that hard to elude me.
* * * *
After dropping Tina off at her car I made my way home, picked up a change of clothes and caught up with Tony and Garry at Garry’s house. Garry’s mother answered the door when I knocked and led me into the back living room.
I quite liked Garry’s mother and despite my previously mentioned lack of skill at making good impressions for some reason Garry’s mother quite liked me too. Mind you she appeared to like everyone so I wasn’t overly sure that it counted for much.
“What are we doing this afternoon?” I flopped myself down on the couch.
“Dunno,” Tony grumbled, “we were just talking about that.”
“We could go to the pub,” Garry ventured.
Tony and I looked at each other quickly and in unison blurted out, “No!”
Garry looked suspiciously at the two of us, his face turning from person to person, face to face.
“What the hell is going on?” Garry demanded.
“We just don’t want to go the pub,” Tony drawled, doing his damnedest to appear disarming and nonchalant.
“No, that’s not it,” Garry said. “Something happened, and I want to know what it was.”
Garry turned to look at me, correctly concluding that I’d be an easier mark to give away information. If this were a normal situation, he’d have been right.
“Had a bad time the last time we went,” I said. “Besides I’m pretty broke right now.”
As far as lies go, that wasn’t a bad one. In fact it was almost the truth.
Fortunately, before Garry could interrogate us any further, his mother entered the room with a tray of drinks and a bowl of chips.
“I can heat up some food, if you boys are hungry,” she offered graciously.
“No, Mum,” Garry grunted. “That’s fine.”
Tony and myself echoed, “Thank you Mrs Fisher.”
“Well, just make sure you clean up after yourselves.”
“Yes Mum,” Garry promised as his mother turned to leave the room.
“How about a game of table-tennis?” Tony suggested.
Garry was the undisputed king of table-tennis and rarely knocked back an opportunity to let everyone know it. There wasn’t a better solution to getting Garry off our cases about a visit to the pub.
Table-tennis, due to the speed at which it was played, was probably one of the few games that I’d be unable to interfere with the play telekinetically. I wasn’t sure if that’s what Tony was worried about, but he needn’t have worried anyway as I had no intention of cheating.
I wasn’t too bad at table-tennis. I was nowhere near Garry’s level of proficiency, but I could at least give him a run for his money. I usually won maybe one game in three.
I saw Garry glance speculatively from Tony to myself during the game, but he didn’t bring up the subject of going to the pub again. He probably had guessed that neither Tony nor I would speak any further on the subject. Either that or he was simply enjoying beating us at table-tennis.
After a few hours it was time to go.
“Well, it’s dark,” Garry noted, redundantly, as it was quite obviously dark outside.
I probably should have gone home, but my mum wouldn’t have been home anyway so I wasn’t in much of a rush.
“What? Does that mean we can switch to hard liquor?” Tony grinned.
“Shh!” Garry smiled back.
He was unsure how his parents would react. They were kind of funny about Garry drinking. Garry’s eighteenth had been a sombre and dry affair compared to mine. I was beginning to suspect that Garry’s father may have had a drinking problem at some time or simply was one of those who condemned the consumption of the grape.
“No, it means it’s time to go home,” Garry said.