MageLife (33 page)

She raised her head, tears were clear in her eyes. Little tracks of their passage marked her face, the bruise stood out in stark relief against her pale skin.

“I miss them,” she said.

I looked at her, my mind felt stupefied. Stunned that it had taken this long for her parents to be brought up.

“I know Soph, I know.” I moved over and sat on the edge of the bed. I looked down at my hands as I spoke. “I wish I could give you a better life. You don't deserve this.”

“Tristan, I love my parents, but they would never have done what you have for me. Jase told me what you did. You risked everything for me.” she uncurled from the ball she was in and wiggled over to sit next to me

“Sophia your parents loved you, they would have done anything for you. They…” I trailed off. How was I supposed to say they died in unimaginable pain to spare you? They could have let go and taken you with them. No I couldn't tell her that.

“They what?” she asked

“They were incredibly brave, your mother asked me to look after you. I've done my best but I don't think I can give you what you need. I'm not a parent. I barely speak to mine. I don't know what I'm doing. And you keep getting hurt.”

“You don't want me,” she stated, sliding away from me.

“It’s not that, I do want you. I really do but I can’t keep you safe. My life is dangerous. I'm not always here. You need stability.”

“You get to decide that?”

“Yes, I'm an adult.”

“That's what my mum used to say.” Her tears flowed quicker now. “But she is gone. And now you want to get rid of me. Fine do it, send me to an orphanage. I'm just a burden on you. You don't love me. You don't want me.” Her voice rose with every short sentence. Choked and muffled by her tears.

“Sophia I'm trying to do right by you. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore. I killed a man just for laying his hand on you. But you shouldn’t have been there. I shouldn’t have lost my temper but seeing you on the ground, changed everything. What am I supposed to do?”

“Do your duty Mage!” She spat the final word at me, the venom in her voice starling.

“Tristan leave!” Airis commanded me. He had moved his stone from grating as he came closer. His eyes blindingly bright.

“Not now Airis.” I replied dismissively.

I felt hard golem hands wrap around me and lift.

“Airis put me down now!”

“Gr,” a deep stony rumble echoed from his chest through me.

“Airis put him down!” Sophia’s strident tone rang through the room like a bell.

We stopped moving.

“He hurt you, I failed before I won't fail again.”

“Tristan won't hurt me," she said.

A strange feeling of joy, hope rose inside me at the faith this small girl showed in me. A matching wave of fear rose too, that I wouldn't be able to live up to this hope.

I felt Airis release his grasp.

I found my feet then turned

“Sophia, all I want is the best for you.”

The little girl that had claimed a place in my heart, broke. Her tears began anew. Deep racking sobs shook her. “Don't leave me,” she cried.

I rushed over to her, wrapped my arms around her and whispered fiercely “I won't, I'm sorry I won't leave you.”

Her little arms held me tight, tremors raged through her.

I smoothed her hair down.

“I won't leave you,”  I repeated softly.

(-----)

“Unum,” a sound came from behind us.

I turned my head, my neck was stiff. Lyphia was stood behind us.

Sophia was curled in my lap, my arms were still wrapped around her. Her sobs had stopped long ago. We had cuddled in silence, there was no need for words, and we had made our peace with the situation.

“I wasn't sure what everyone wanted for dinner, so we are going out” Lyphia announced to us.

Airis stood next to the door, he hadn't moved since our little encounter, not a word or a motion. He moved at that. A twitch of a hand a stiffening of his back, his blank face dropped slightly. I wasn't the only one that noticed.

“Don't look so down Airis, you are coming too.”

“Is going out really the best idea?” I asked.

“Don't be such a grump, going out is an excellent idea. I know because I came up with it.” Lyphia’s smile bloomed at that, a charming impish thing.

“Soph, do you want to go out?” I asked, I fought my own smile. It was small but real.

“Uhfh,” Sophia said against my chest.

“What was that?”

Sophia untangled herself from me. Then looked to Lyphia. “But I'm a mess. We can’t go out,” she said.

“We can and we will. It will do you good. We can send the boys ahead while we get ready if you want," Lyphia said.

“No, she doesn't go anywhere on her own.” I said

“No,” Airis said at the same time.

Lyphia looked between Airis and myself. A tense expression clouding her features. “Don’t be ridiculous, she isn’t on her own she will be with me. She is a little girl she shouldn't be around men all the time. You boys don't have a clue about dressing up. She will be with me, she will be safe.” her voice softened on the last and her eyes found mine.

“If it’s okay with Soph then it’s okay with me,” I said, I wasn't going to win this one. Better to bow out first.

“Yay, I get to play dress up again.” Sophia said. She scooted off the bed and over to Lyphia where she took her hand and dragged her to the bathroom.

I looked at Airis. His hostility hadn't diminished much. I couldn't blame him I'd made him this way.

“Could you ask Lyphia where we are meeting her please? I will wait for you in the main room.” I asked him.

I didn't even get a nod, he stalked off to the bathroom.

I left and went into the main room.

I considered sitting down it had been a long day, I ached. I decided against it. I was dressed and clean better to stay ready than risk stiffen up further.

The envelope on the table drew me, I stepped closer to pick it but Airis came through.

“Lyphia says ‘the place you went to last time he said sullenly.

“Good, that gives us time to talk.”

Airis didn't even bother to respond. He just headed to the door.

I followed. The letter could wait.

The deep blackness of the night hid most of the town from view, the stars shone brilliantly in the void above. Their cold light couldn't reach the earth. They watched like angels in the sky. We walked over the white stone paths our steps heavily echoing in the still night air. Airis walked next to me his head down focused on the way.

“I didn't mean to imply…” I started.

Airis raised his hand cutting me off sharply.

“Shut up Tristan. I know my job and I failed. She is mine to look after. I couldn't keep her safe from the gnomes. I didn't even think she would be in danger in town. I don't even have any skill that would let me protect her. Unless a chair is going to help.” he said. A bitter mocking tone.

“A chair might, you never know,” I said trying to lighten his mood.

“This isn’t the time for jokes.”

“There is always time to joke, we can’t life get us down,"

“Is that what you did over the body of the man you killed? Did you tell jokes?” he asked.

That shut me up, I turned my own eyes to the path. My mouth tightened in a grim lines.

We made the rest of the way in silence. As we got closer more people appeared. The people on the streets were festive, music came from the restaurant warm cheery light poured from the windows and door. The crowd didn't touch us, our grim faces and sombre moods acting as a shield against them.

We walked in. A server stood near the door asked us how large our party was.

“Four, two are still to come.”

“Very good sir. I will show you to your table.” the young server said.

We wove our path through the crowd. I noticed the sheer mass of people in here. They were everywhere except a small area near the back wall. The once colourful murals were blank.

So much for studying how to make them. Sophia wanted one. I thought to myself.

Our table was along the edge of the empty area.

“Why is it so busy in here tonight?” I asked the young server.

His eyebrows rose in an incredulous look. “You don't know?”

“No. That's why I asked.”

“It’s show night. Tonight we have a retelling of the elemental child.”

“I remember plays and such being mentioned the last time I was here.”

“It’s one of the things that really draws in the crowd. The music and the food help of course. Can I get you anything while you wait?” he asked as we seated ourselves.

“Could I have a drink? Anything please I'm not fussed tonight,” I asked. I placed my hands on the wooden table. I felt myself tensing as I noticed the number of people looking at me. A hush went through the room even the music faltered.

All of a sudden a roar went through the crowd. They were cheering. For me.

“A drink for the mage! Well done sir. That Selac has been a menace for years. He needed putting down.” A large older man made his way out of the crowd to place a large meaty hand on my shoulder.

I looked down at my hands, they had tightened into claws digging at the smooth varnished surface.

I stood, shaking the unwelcome hand off me.

“Don't thank me. I shouldn't have done it.” I said as I turned around to face him.

“You did this town a service, many a girl has been forced by that dirty mage. You put an end to him. Finally we have a mage that looks out for us.” The man’s smile seemed to take up most of his face.

“Thank you, I'm uncomfortable with being congratulated for killing a man. I would rather not discuss it as you can see I have a child with me.” I pointed towards Airis.

The man reddened. “Of course. I’m sorry it was bad manners on my part.”

I placed my hand on the man's arm and led him a few steps away from the table “I would prefer it if this wasn't brought up again. I’m pleased you feel I've done a service to you but it’s a dark business that has no place in such a bright place. Let us all enjoy an evening to forget our woes.”

“Wisely said young mage. Like I said it was bad manners. I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“Well, let's say no more about it. If you could spread the word that I'm out with my lady and my wards. Hopefully that will dissuade well-meaning people.”

“I get your meaning sir. I will do what I can. I hope this serves as amends.”

“Trouble yourself about it no more,” I said. I turned back towards my table when I heard him call for the music to resume.

Airis had remained seated his face locked in an expression of anger, which on his face which looked a lot like a childish pout. I recognised it. It was the same expression I wore every time I got caught doing something wrong. It was my mad at myself face.

I retook my seat.

“So you ready to talk about it now? Or are you going to sit there sulking. It’s fine with me either way. But I doubt the girls will be impressed with you looking like this.”

“How do you do it? Deal with all these emotions? My desire to please Sophia led me to risk her safety. I then took it out on you and now I'm sat here angry with myself. I feel too….” he trailed off.  I could see him struggling to find the words.

“Emotion is a part of being alive. We all grow up with it. And we don't always handle it well. It takes time, effort and experience. I know I was a bit harsh on you earlier...”

“No worse than I deserved. I let my charge, my friend get hurt. You were right to be hard with me.”

“No I wasn't Airis. You made a mistake, that's all. Everyone makes mistakes. I've made my share of them,” I said looking down at my hands. They were clean but I could still feel the sword like the ghost of a blade against my skin.

“My mistake nearly cost Sophia!” Airis said with a passion I didn't know he could feel.

“You care for her?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“I know you care what she thinks of you, but do you care for her?” I persisted.

Airis squirmed under my gaze but he didn't look away.

“Of course I care for her how I could not, you made me this way.”

“I didn't. I gave you the capability for emotion, real emotion not some pretence of it. You made yourself this way.”

Airis stopped squirming, a flicker of a glow entered his eyes.

“I don't have to feel like this then. You can take this away,” a note of hope permeated his words.

“No, Airis. You chose this. I can't take away your choice without turning you into a machine.”

“I am a machine.” he said although his voice wavered.

“You are not. You are a living being. You might have been born different, but you are alive Airis. I won't take that from you.”

“You took life from that mage,” he replied venomously. “How am I worth less than a Ventrastus?”

I flinched away from him then before I could stop myself. I looked at him. I could see what had made him speak like that, fear.

“You think you are worth less than an oath breaker, and a vicious one at that? Oh Airis, you are worth so much more than that. You have a life, maybe even a soul. You have chosen to care for someone else. I didn't make that happen. You did. Emotion isn't a bad thing. Give it a chance, if you are still uncomfortable with it, I can install some limiting protocols. But I want you to give it a real chance.”

Airis looked at me, a kind of flickering in his face as it shifted between emotions, hope and fear dominated before settling into a steely resolve. He nodded to me.

I nodded back.

We sat in silence, but it wasn't tense or awkward now. The music in the room resumed a low but lively piece. I found myself tapping my foot to it as we waited.

I watched the staff of the place, setting up a few chairs at the back of the empty area. Four chairs. They remained empty for some reason.

I turned my head just in time to see Lyphia and Sophia enter the restaurant. I raised my hand to wave them over. I received a smile from Lyph, and a small wave from Sophia. Her own smile was a bit frayed around the edges but she shared it with everyone. Lyphia’s smile was just for me.