Maggie's Desire (9 page)

She waved her hand in frustration. "I'm not playing this game with you. I want to know how you are going to deal with Maggie now?"

Acid churned in his stomach and bubbled in his throat. "We'll go along like we always have." He shrugged. "She's watched me have sex. Now I've watched her."

Julie chuckled again. "You're a foolish asshole. What was it like to hear Maggie call out Nick's name instead of yours?"

He could still hear her pleasure-filled moans. He told himself it didn't matter. "I don't do virgins," he spat.

Julie flipped her long, sable hair over her shoulder "Yeah, I know—and why is that?"

He couldn't take it anymore. His body ached from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. "Because they think more of sex than I do. I don't want to be pinned down again."

Brian realized what he'd said and stumbled back. Amy, his wife, had been a virgin and look where that got him. She'd needed things from him he couldn't give her. It had destroyed her.

Julie gripped his hand. "You need to stop blaming yourself for Amy's death."

The heat from her strong grip seeped into his soul, unlocking his heart.

She shook his hand. "You sure as hell didn't pour the vodka down her throat and hand her the keys to her car."

Tears pricked his eyes. "Julie, what do I do?" He blinked. "I've spent so much time putting up walls that now I don't know how to have a normal relationship."

She motioned him to sit. "No one said Maggie wanted normal." Julie rose and sat down next to him. "Talk to her and see where it goes."

His heart stopped skipping every other beat. The club and the people in it gave him the family he'd always wanted. Brian pulled Julie into his arms for a quick hug. He leaned back and studied her lovely face. "I know what I get out of the club. What do you get out of it?"

She folded her legs under her, sadness filling her eyes. "Logan and I own the top BDSM club in this fine state and I'm one of the top Dommes in the country. What more could a girl want?"

Something told him she wanted more, much more.

Julie yawned. "Well, on that note. I need my beauty rest."

Brian checked his watch and cringed. "You're gorgeous." He kissed her cheek and stood. "I'll let myself out."

"Go back to Maggie's tonight," she said

He had to smile at the take no bullshit tone in her voice. "Sweet dreams, Mistress Julie."

* * * *

Maggie switched off the TV. She wiped her eyes and told herself the tears dripping down her cheeks were from the Deadliest Catch she'd been watching—not due to the fact that Brian left her feeling cold.

Seeing Captain Phil's struggles and death had to be why her chest ached, and the back of her eyelids felt like sandpaper. She gathered the box full of discarded tissues and made her way to the trashcan. "Can I get you something to drink?" she asked Nick.

Nick stretched on the floor and frowned up at her. "Maggie, I'm sorry."

She stopped short. Guilt washed over her. Nick had been so great and she'd spent hours crying. He deserved better from her. "No, I'm sorry," she said. "It's not you. I don't regret anything we did."

A sad smile crossed his face. "I'm glad you feel that way. I want to help you and I don't know how."

Maggie grinned for the first time in hours. "I wish I could feel for you what I feel for Brian. You are every woman's dream man."

He blew out an exasperated sigh. "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride."

Her stomach flipped. "I'm sorry. I'm stupid."

Nick stood in one fluid motion. "You're not stupid." His hand came up to brush her face. "You're one of the bravest people I know."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. I'm so brave."

He gripped her chin. "You took what you wanted, and I, for one, am glad I was a part of it."

She stepped out of his arms. "What's wrong with me? How did I go from being a victim of attempted rape to having a threesome?"

Nick stepped into her and gripped her shoulders. "It's the club's fault."

The chuckle rumbling in her chest hurt. "That must be it."

A shadow crossed his face.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. It's none of my business."

She slapped his arm. "Oh, come on. You're all tied up in my business. Now spill."

"Okay, are you sure Brian and the lifestyle he leads is what you want?"

She sagged under his hand. "Nick, I experience the lifestyle on a daily basis and know what it entails."

"So, are you telling me you like the whips and chains shit?"

She grinned at his perplexed expression. "Yeah, I think I might be a switch."

"A switch? What the fuck is a switch?"

She slapped her hand to her forehead. "I forget you're into kink, but not up on the lifestyle terminology." She took in a deep breath. "A switch is someone that can be the Dominant and submissive. They are just as comfortable being tied-up and flogged as doing the tying and flogging.

"I don't know whether to be turned on or run screaming."

She grinned, relief filling her. "You need to move down here and hang at the club more."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I know. Ava's tells me the same thing all the time." He walked to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed two bottles of water. "The apartment across the hall is vacant and Miami-Dade Fire Department just posted that they need EMT paramedic fire fighters." Nick strolled back to Maggie and handed her a water.

She kissed his cheek. "What are you waiting for? It sounds like it's meant to be."

Chapter Eight

Anxiety clawed at Brian's chest. He raised his hand to knock on Maggie's door and wavered. What Julie said to him still swirled around in his mind. It killed him to admit he used the club and his work to bury his head in the sand. It was time he dealt with the past.

He shrugged his shoulders to relieve the pent up stress weighing him down and knocked. Brain heard Nick tell Maggie he'd get it. The knot in his stomach tightened. "Asshole," he said swallowing back the acid in his throat.

Watching Nick make love to Maggie was the hardest thing he'd ever had to see. Never again would he give away what was
his
. Seeing and hearing Maggie call someone else's name still stabbed at his heart. It used to turn him on to hear a woman cry out another man's name. It didn't matter what name she called, just as long as she was enjoying herself.

He'd never wanted to change places with a man until he saw Maggie lick Nick's cock for the first time. The combination of wanting to kill—and be—Nick had an odd mix of lust and resentment swirling red-hot in his veins.

The security chain jangled and thudded against the door and it opened. Nick grinned at Brian.

"Come back for more of a show?" he asked.

Brian shoved his hands in his pockets. "Cocksucker."

Nick, the asshole, chuckled. "I can honestly say I've never done that."

"Nick, who is it?"

Brian watched as Maggie came into view and his heart all but stopped. The tiny pink tank top and black running shorts hugged every sexy inch on her small, curvy body.

Nick glared at him. "It's Brian. Do you want me to get rid of him?"

She stumbled to a stop and folded her arms protectively across her chest. "No, let him in."

Brian wanted to go to her and take the look of insecurity off her beautiful face. He hated he caused the confident woman to doubt herself.

Nick stepped aside and motioned him in. "Maggie," he said, still staring daggers at Brian, "I have to run to Ava and Logan's. Are you going to be okay here?"

She stepped to Nick and her sweet hand brushed his arm. "I'll be fine." Maggie tipped up on her tiptoes and pressed a delicate kiss on his cheek. "Thanks for everything."

Brian's heart flipped in his chest. No one ever touched him so sweetly as Maggie did Nick.
Is that what I gave up by letting Nick have her?"

Nick pushed past him. "You fuck with her and I'll beat your ass into the ground," he whispered so only Brian could hear him.

Brian knew the feeling. He nodded, stepped in, and closed the door.

Maggie's eyes filled with hurt. "Come in." She moved to the living room and motioned for him to have a seat. "Say what you need to say so we can get on with our lives."

He'd fucked this up bad. Brian sat on the sofa. "Come sit."

* * * *

His sad expression had Maggie wanting to wrap herself around him. She plopped down on the very edge of the couch farthest way from Brian and steeled herself for his assault. The last thing she needed was to have him disapprove of what she'd done, especially since she'd done it in part for him. "Are you here for your shirt?"

His eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn't read. "No, I'm here to tell you I'm sorry."

Maggie held herself perfectly still and let his words soak in. Out of all the years she'd known Brian, he'd never apologized for anything. He was going to tell her he couldn't be with her. Maggie just knew it. She could feel it deep in her bones.

A hole the size of the Grand Canyon opened in her stomach and swallowed up her soul. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You watched me fuck Nick and didn't like what you saw."

He rose, his cheeks flushing bright red. "You're right."

Brian might as well have punched her in the gut. She slumped back and fell into the couch. Tears filled her eyes. "Well, you didn't seem to mind when you were coming all over your hand," Maggie spat.

Brian stood and started to pace. "I know and I'm sorry about that. Watching you with Nick did things to me that have never happened before. I've never been so turned on and wanted to kill another man at the same time in my life."

His words snaked their way into her heart.
Does that mean he wants me?
She needed to put some emotional distance between them before she started to draw hearts and flowers in her mind. "I don't need all the bells and whistles and fancy sentiment when it comes to sex," she said defiantly.

A dark smile crossed his face. "But I guess I do."

Maggie swallowed. God, he was going to kill her. "Why?"

He sat next to her and brushed her cheek with his soft hands. "I need to tell you some things."

Please don't. I don't want to fall for you any more
. Her heart couldn't take it. She scoffed instead and said, "You don't have to."

"I think I do."

"Oh, just spill it, would you," she said, defeated.

Anger and hurt glinted in his eyes. "I was married."

Holy fucking shit
.
Brian married? Is he still married?
She scurried away from his heat and stood. "What? Where is she? Does she know what you do at the club?"

"She's dead."

The cold words took a moment to penetrate her shock. "Dead?"

"Yes, dead."

She stood and started to pace. Cold emotions swamped her. "What the hell happened?"

"She drove her car into a canal."

Maggie stopped and turned to face him. The distant look on his face had her biting back the harsh words wanting to spill from her mouth. "I think you need to start at the beginning."

Brian sighed. "Amy and I met in high school. We fell in love. The stupid kind of love that only teenagers have."

Maggie's knees weakened and she stumbled to the chair across from the couch. Her heart broke again at the emotionless way he told the story like she asked him to give her a report. She needed more from him.

Maggie wanted to know Brian wasn't this cold inside. How could he love someone enough to marry them and talk about their death as if it was no big deal. "What happened?" She forced the question past her lips.

"We got married fresh out of high school. Amy got a job as a bartender. I started college then law school."

Maggie watched his face. What she thought earlier was coldness was actually red-hot anger. She melted and willed away the need to hold him.

He raked his shaking hands through his hair. "We were happy for a while—or at least I thought we were."

Brian took a deep, ragged breath. "Apparently Amy worked at a bar that was the kind where the staff drank with the patrons. By the time I figured it out, Amy had a problem."

The turbulence swimming in his blue eyes had tears burning her throat.

"It was too late. She drove her car into a canal after work one night," he said.

Maggie's tethered heart shattered. "Oh my." She moved to him, not able to stop herself. Before she could think better of it, her arms were around him and her lips were roaming over his face, trying to kiss away the pain. "I'm sorry."

He leaned back and gazed into her eyes. "I think I was the way I was with you all these years because you made me
feel
and I didn't want to
feel
anything."

She swallowed back the raw emotions swimming around her heart. "What changed?"

His eyes shimmered. "I don't know. All I know is I want to see where we go from here."

A sob escaped from her chest. "I don't want promises of everlasting love. I just want to see where this is going too." Maggie hiccupped and folded her arms over her belly. "I'm done living on the sidelines."

The corners of his mouth twitched up. "I would like that, but under one condition."

Her stomach flipped-flopped. If he asked her to fuck another man in front of him, she'd puke right here on his expensive shirt. "What?"

"I will not share you again."

White-hot relief poured over her. "And I will not share you. If at any time one of us isn't happy, we'll tell the other person and back off."

Maggie settled on his lap and wrapped her short legs around his waist. A tremor raced up her spine as Brian's slacks-clad dick hardened and settled against her sex. She gripped his shoulders and bit back a moan.

He groaned. "Fuck. You're on fire."

She wiggled her hips. "If you pull down your pants and put on a condom, I'll show you how hot I am."