Maggie's Mountain (13 page)

Hale stared straight ahead, but he wasn’t seeing Maggie, or the living room, or even the trees outside the windows. He saw his father, grim faced and angry, always bitter, always claiming to be upset over the Cooper woman’s refusal to leave him alone. What Maggie was saying couldn’t be right. Yet somehow it made a sickening sort of sense.

His voice was rough with confusion when he spoke. “Those letters are your proof?”

She was gentle when she laid the notes beside her on the couch, the breadth of the paper enveloping the space between them. “They’re letters your father wrote to my mother. Letters she wrote in reply and that were returned with notes from Royce.”

He willed his hand to reach out but wasn’t able to make himself move. “You’re…you’re saying my father lied? That all these years he was lying to me, my brother, my mother, the entire county?”

“Pride can be an awful thing.”

Her statement, so simple and soft, was a hard truth. How many times had his father gone on about the family name? About the Warrick legacy? About the importance of their standing in the community? All that time Hale had agreed with him. They did owe a great deal to Exum and the people who made the town thrive. The Warricks had been an influence in Yates County for generations and had invested themselves in it. To Hale’s way of thinking that meant they had an obligation to be involved. If he believed what Maggie was saying, it meant that his father had thought of it in the opposite way: that the community, and the people in it, had somehow owed him. Or maybe it was that he had been desperate for Rebecca Cooper and hadn’t been able to let it go, up to the point of making her life a living hell.

“I’m going to try to salvage what I can of my garden," Maggie said quietly, "and then I’m going to make dinner. I’ll leave the letters. It’s up to you if you want to read them.”

She didn’t push, didn’t demand, and he had to admire that. If what she was saying was the truth, then she’d held it back all these years, lived with the barbs and the cruelty, carved a life for herself despite knowing all the animosity was built on a lie. The past few weeks he’d squarely insinuated himself into her life, and yet she hadn’t tossed this information into his face. It wasn’t until he’d demanded answers that she’d given him this. He couldn’t decide if that was a bad sign or not.

He heard the door close and realized he was alone. Casting weary eyes on the stack of envelopes, he slowly pulled the first one off the top and opened it.

Chapter Ten

Hale was reading when she came back inside. Maggie was careful to keep her movements easy and quiet, but he seemed so absorbed she wondered if anything would disturb him. She went upstairs and showered, changed into fresh jeans and her favorite, age-worn long sleeved peach T-shirt. The comfort of her ritual was like a balm to her jangled nerves. She brushed her damp hair and stared at her face in the mirror, saw the slight lines of anxiety still etched around her eyes and mouth.

She hadn’t meant to say anything to Hale. The facts of their parents’ involvement was something she’d thought she’d always keep to herself. Her crush on him withstanding, she hadn’t been able to imagine balancing out on the glass thin ridge of truth. There was too much for her to lose. She had planned to keep the secrets, to live the rest of her life without saying a word. She would have liked to say it was because of her mother’s wishes, the life she’d managed to make. But as long as she was facing blatant truths there was one she’d been avoiding almost her whole life. One that had come home to roost.

She hadn’t said a word because she hadn’t wanted to see the wounded look on Hale’s rugged face. She hadn’t wanted to be the one to break his heart.

When she made her way back downstairs, she kept her movements quiet and gentle. He was still reading, completely ensconced on the couch, surrounded by open letters. She didn’t say a word as she donned her apron, washed and sliced vegetables and put the rice and cheese casserole into the oven. She took the salmon out of the refrigerator and turned, nearly jumping out of her skin when she realized Hale had sat down on one of the barstools. He wasn’t staring at her but was looking at the scene outside the kitchen window, his arms resting on the countertop.

Taking a deep breath, Maggie continued her work, rubbing the fish with spices, folding them into small aluminum foil pouches along with the vegetables and lemon. He didn’t speak until she had finished washing her hands.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” The words were soft, as if he was afraid to speak too loudly.

She shrugged as she untied the apron. “What difference would it have made?”

His brow knit and his dark, glinting eyes turned to her. “A hell of a lot of difference. All these years everyone accused your mother of being a tramp. They called your father a shoddy workman with no talent.”

“And we knew better.”

“Exactly. You just sat up here on your mountain, living like a martyr. Did you enjoy it? Sitting up here and laughing at how foolish everyone was?” His tone was curious but even, belying the anger his fisted hands conveyed as they rested on the granite countertop.

She hung the apron on the hook of the pantry door with deliberate movements. “It wasn’t like that, Hale. I would have liked nothing better than to have exposed your father for the liar he was. I hated him for years, hated what I’d seen him do to my parents, hated what he tried to do to me. I didn’t even know about the letters until I was in college. By then the damage was too extensive, and my mother was too frail for me to start a knock down drag out with your parents and all their influence and money.”

“You could have come to me.”

She gave him a sad smile. “Why? You weren’t even living here when Momma finally showed them to me. But you think I should have tracked you down, made an appointment, hoped you would deign to see a Cooper? Shown you what I had so you could…what? Be my savior?”

His jaw clenched for a moment, then eased as he exhaled one long breath. “I could have helped you.”

Despite everything, she felt a deep river of sympathy course through her and lodge in her heart. She rested her hands beside his on the counter as she replied gently. “While Momma and your father were alive, it wasn’t a situation for us to fix. Sure, I could have taken those letters and shown them to your mother. I could have flashed them all over town, stood on the street corner and yelled out what they said. I could have even taken out a full page ad in the
Exum Sentinel.
But your father would have just sued me and called me a liar while your mother claimed the notes were forged. And she’d have had a dozen experts backing her allegations.”

He didn’t try to refute what she said. His body suddenly relaxed as if accepting defeat and he reached out to take her hand. She didn’t fight him when he laced his fingers with hers. It felt good, right somehow, to be linked to him in so easy a way. To take comfort in the secret that they both now shared.

“I hate myself for believing what my father told me. I hate it because it meant that your life was harder than it should have been. I hate it even more because it kept me from seeing you,
really
seeing you, until now.” He lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips. “These letters change everything.”

Panic sliced through her, making her hand give a slight jerk. She didn’t understand it, but it was there, its slick fingers sending ice along her spine. “What has it changed, Hale?”

“You, me,
us
.” He tightened his hold and stared at her with eyes gone hot and bright. “When I came out here it was with the intention of forcing you to admit we’re attracted to each other. More than attracted.”

She swallowed and tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her. Oh, God, she wasn’t ready for this. “Please, no, don’t.”

“Don’t what, Maggie? Don’t admit that I want you? That’d be as big a lie as the one my father kept telling.”

“No, Hale. You can’t…” Her heart stumbled as her eyes pricked with tears.

“Can’t what? Can’t want you? Because I do.”

Can’t break my heart like this
, she thought, and bit her lip to keep the words from slipping out. “Cordelia won’t believe my mother was innocent, even with the proof I have. Having an affair with you would just dredge up old feelings, old hurts and vendettas. Your mother won’t let it go, you know that.”

“I love my mother, Maggie, don’t get me wrong. But she’s a grown woman and sooner or later she’s going to have to face up to the cold, hard fact that her husband ruined lives because of his massive ego. And we stood by and let him.” His face became set and his warm fingers tightened like steel bands around her knuckles. “Don’t you
want
the world to know the truth about your mother?”

“Yes…no…it’s…” Why was this so hard? Surely she should be happy that he knew, that he wanted to let it all come out. “It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is. It
is
that simple.” He let go of her hand only long enough to walk around the counter and turn her to face him. “I’m going to be honest with you. I want you, Maggie, you know that. I’ve admitted it wasn’t something I expected or particularly wanted, but it’s something so strong that I can’t walk away from it. I had every intention of seducing you tonight, of making you admit that we should be together. Then I was going to convince you that we could have an arrangement, one that involved a quiet affair, one that would spare your reputation and my mother’s feelings. It makes me sick to think my father did the exact opposite; it hurts even more to know that you’ve suffered because of him.”

Shock reverberated through her bones like frigid waves. “You wanted me to…to be your secret mistress? You’d hide me away until you wanted to get laid?”

His features were hard but his eyes showed a wild desperation. “No, not exactly.”

“You thought I’d fall right into line with your plan because, what, I’m an attention starved widow?” Confused anger was suddenly mingling with her shock.

“I told you, it wasn’t…” When she would have turned away, he anchored her. “I thought you’d understand because of how you react every time I touch you. Maybe I should have felt guilty about proposing a plan like that, but I didn’t. We need time to let this, whatever it is, grow to whatever it’s going to be. The only way to let that happen is to be involved, and until a couple of hours ago it seemed like the only way to be involved and not hurt you, me, or my family was to do it quietly.” He pulled her a scant inch closer and stared hard into her eyes. “I want you. Hell, I even admire you. Here you are, a woman who’s been married and widowed, who’s made a good life for herself out of almost nothing.”

She swallowed back a stab of pain. “You were going to ask me to sneak around after I’ve already made it clear how I feel about it?”

“Yes, I was, mostly because I didn’t want the town talking about us the way they talked about my father and your mother; I wanted to spare everyone involved the pain of dealing with that. Then later, if what we have becomes something…more, then it’ll be easier.” He ran his hands up her arms and rested them on her shoulders, his gaze deep with the need for her to understand. “If I could have walked away from what I’m feeling I would have, but it’s been impossible.”

“There’s the door.” Her voice was shaky but sure. “I’m not some hard up widow who’s desperate for a bedmate.”

“I know that.”

“And I’m not the kind of woman who needs to be taken care of. I can promise you I’m not the sort who doesn’t mind being slept with then forgotten about just so my lover’s life can go on without any untoward gossip.” Fury had overtaken her hurt and she was close to shaking with it. “I’ve had enough people think I’m a whore for the taking just because of your father’s lies. I’ll be damned if I’ll let you make me one.”

"Maggie!” He growled and propped his fists on his hips, dropped his head for a moment, then brought his gaze back up to meet hers. “Maggie—I think we’ve already covered this. I know you aren’t like that. I’d never ask you to be. I’m only asking you to give this a chance; I promise you if this becomes something more than physical I won’t walk away.”

“Yes, you will. You just admitted you want to stick me in a convenient cubby until you need a quick hop in the bed. How are we supposed to actually have a relationship on the other side of the sheets if we’re sneaking around? Don’t pretend; trying to dress it all up by saying it
might
grow to be more than physical is just a way to get what you want.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Maggie. Don’t put thoughts in my head that aren’t there.” He was getting infuriated now; she could see it on his face and hear it in his words. Well, good for him. Couldn't he see what he was doing to
her?

“The next time I have a man in my life it won’t be some dirty little secret, Hale. I deserve to have someone who won’t be ashamed or afraid to be seen with me. And you would have been, would still be, if it weren’t for those letters. You want to change the rules now because it’s safe for your ego, safe for your pride. But will you go to your mother, tell her the truth, hope it doesn’t destroy her or that she won’t try to destroy me? And what about the rest of the town? Do you really think they’ll believe you, the poor man who’s been seduced by the Cooper girl? Are you willing to risk the fallout? Have you thought of asking me if
I
would be willing to risk it?”

He could only stare at her, mute.

“I didn’t think so. You’ll still have to see me on the sly, don’t you understand that? You want me, but you need me to be patient, to wait to be acknowledged? Well, that’s just too bad. I’m tired, so damned tired, of being treated like a second class citizen. I’d had that for years before things started settling down, before….” She couldn’t say his name, couldn’t bring it up in
this
conversation.

“Before Chris.” The words hung in the air like crystallized explosives, waiting to be heated enough to erupt.

She stared unwavering into Hale’s deep eyes. “That’s right, before Chris. By the time I met him I knew what I wanted. I told him on our first date about my situation. He didn’t back down. He didn’t walk away. He didn’t try to hide our relationship.” And that’s the reason she’d loved him. She hadn’t fallen in love with Chris, but with the way he’d treated her. It was a jagged pill to swallow.