“I had a wonderful time.” Ellen grinned.
“I was holding this sweet baby
for most of the time, and when the woman
, Ida,
came back, I called him a
‘
he
’
. I guess I probably should have checked down the front of her diaper, but I just
assumed it was a boy. The baby was bald. I guess it never occurred to me that girls
are born bald as well.” She laughed at herself as they walked.
Malinda laughed. “It never occurred to me either, so I guess we’re together in our
ignorance of small babies.”
She’d never really thought of having a baby before, but she liked the idea of having
a little Wesley.
Once they were back at the house, she went up to the spare room where she was sleeping
and changed for dinner. She loved dressing up for Wesley. Seeing his eyes light
up when she walked into a room made her day.
They h
ad a good dinner, and afterward
she went with Wesley into the parlor to talk to him. Somehow, the talking never
happened. She had hoped she could get him to agree to marry right away, but to
wait to consummate the marriage.
B
ut as soon as they sat togeth
er on the couch, their lips met
and his arms were around her, and all thoughts of anything but him left her mind
immediately.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.
His hand skimmed up and down her side, much too close to her breast for comfort.
She could tell he
wanted
to touch it, but it wouldn’t be okay to let him do that, would it?
She was practically sitting in his lap when Ellen and Patrick came into the room.
She turned to her sister with a blank look, barely registering she was there. “Hmmm?”
“Patrick and I have been talking, and we’ve made a decision.” Ellen
said
, watching Malinda.
“What’s that?” Ellen looked guilty and that meant only one thing. They were going
to go ahead with the wedding no matter what Malinda’s decision was. The fact that
she’d decided to go ahead with the wedding herself made no difference. Ellen was
betraying her.
“We’re getting married tomorrow morning. We’d like the two of you to be there with
us.”
Malinda glared at Ellen. “What do you mean you decided? I thought it was a decision
for the four of us?”
What made Ellen think she had the right to make that kind of decision without her?
Ellen walked to one of the chairs across from the sofa and sat down. “The f
act is, I wouldn’t marry Wesley
and Patrick wouldn’t marry you. Whether you two get married or not doesn’t change
the fact that Patrick and I will get married in the morning.” She looked over at
Wesley. “I don’t mean to offend you. You’ll make a wonderful brother to me.”
Malinda was furious. She didn’t want to marry Patrick, but the fac
t was
she’d come out there with all intentions of marrying him, and Ellen was betraying
her. “You can’t just announce to me you’re marrying him. He’s
my
fiancé.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her sister.
“No, he’s not. He’s my fiancé. You don’t have feelings for him, Malinda. You care
for Wesley. There’s no need for you to be upset if I marry Patrick.”
Patrick looked at Malinda sympathetically. “It’s true, Malinda. Having spent time
getting to know you both, I know that the only woman I have any desire to marry is
Ellen. I’m just not interested in you as anything more than a sister.”
Malinda refused to acknowledge Patrick and continued to glare at Ellen until the other
couple got up and left the room. She turned to Wesley. “I’m sorry.”
It was only then she realized that he’d heard her little tirade. What would he
think of her?
Wesley stared at her for a moment. “I thought Ellen was the one who was holding things
up. You don’t want to marry me?” He looked hurt, and Malinda immediately felt terrible.
“Of course I want to marry you!” She paused looking down at her hands, trying to
find the best way to explain. “I just wanted a little time to get to know you better.
I knew from the moment I met you I couldn’t marry Patrick.” She didn’t add that she
hadn’t been sure until the previous evening that she
had
known she could marry him.
Wesley nodded slowly. “So are we going to get married in the morning as well?”
“I think so. I’m pretty sure so.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m confused.
Can I let you know in the morning if I’ll marry you tomorrow?”
Now he’d hate her. She’d ruined everything between them.
He stood abruptly. “Of course. You can tell me tomorrow. It’s not like it’s my
life hanging in the balance, is it? It’s just about you and only you. Why would
I care what your answer is?”
He stormed out of the house
and she wanted to chase after him, but she just didn’t know what to say. She put
her head in her hands and cried. Why did Ellen have to mess things up so badly?
She went straight upstairs to her bedroom, lying on the bed crying until she heard
Ellen come up the stairs. She debated for a moment if she wanted to talk to her sister
right away or wait until she’d cooled off a bit. Finally she stood and went to her
sister’s room, knowing she couldn’t go to sleep until they’d talked it out. She was
much too angry.
After Ellen had explained her reasoning, she asked, “Are you going to be at my wedding
tomorrow or not?”
“Of course, I’m going to be at your wedding. I wouldn’t miss it.”
How could she not go to her only sister’s wedding? No matter what had passed between
them, Ellen was her sister and Malinda loved her.
“I’m happy to hear it. For a while there I was certain you were going to ignore nineteen
years of sisterhood over money.” Ellen reached out and took Malinda’s hand.
Malinda shook her head, hoping she could make her sister understand it wasn’t about
the money at all. “It’s not just that. I’m scared. I care about Wesley. I really
do. But I’m not sure that I’m ready to be anyone’s wife.”
Her eyes, still red from the tears she’d shed, met Ellen’s.
“I know. I don’t think anyone is ever sure of that. You just have to trust your
heart and move on with your life.”
“Aren’t you scared?” Malinda’s eyes searched Ellen’s face, looking for some of the
same fear she had inside her.
Ellen looked embarrassed. “Sure, a little. But I know Patrick well enough to know
he’d never do anything to hurt me. He cares about me.”
“And I know that about W
esley
too, but I talked to Harriett about…well, marital relations. She said the first time
really hurts.” But it was more than just what she’d said. It was the look on her
face. Malinda could tell that Harriett had held something back from the conversation.
As if there were more to it that Malinda wasn’t allowed to know about. “Aren’t you
worried about the wedding night?”
“Obviously not as much as you are. When Patrick touches me, I don’t want him to stop.
God wouldn’t have made the way to make children pleasurable for just men. Besides,
I’ve had friends who have married and they said only good things about the marriage
bed. I really don’t think we have anything to be afraid of.”
Malinda bit her lip, which she always did when she was thinking hard about something.
“Do you think if I married Wesley tomorrow he’d agree to wait for relations until
I felt comfortable with it?”
“I don’t think you should even ask that of him. I think if you marry him, he has
every right to expect a wedding night.”
Malinda wondered if Ellen was right. “Well, if I marry him and I’m not having relations
with him, I’ll still be cooking and cleaning
and doing all the other things he needs his wife to do. I’ll just sleep in his spare
bedroom.”
If only Ellen would agree with her it wasn’t a bad idea, she’d feel like she could
do it.
She was too afraid to do anything else.
Ellen laughed. “You wouldn’t like his spare bedroom. Patrick says the mattress is
lumpy and almost impossible to sleep on.”
Malinda was certain she could put up with a lumpy mattress better than letting a man
do
that
to her. “Well, I may talk to him about it in the morning before the wedding. I
decided to go in my wedding dress just in case I decide to marry him tomorrow as well.
It seems unfair that you and Patrick are marrying before Wesley and I are.”
She made a face at the thought. How could their double wedding be turning into
Ellen getting married while Malinda watched?
“That’s your decision, though. Patrick and I decided we wanted to marry and left
it at that. You’re the one dragging your feet
.” Ellen looked like she wished she could take the words back as soon as she’d said
them.
Malinda stood up. “I’m sorry I was so mean to you about your decision to marry Patrick.
I know you care about him, but I know you care about me as well.”
How was she going to figure it all out?
Ellen smiled up at her sister. “I’m really glad you’re going to be there when I marry
Patrick.”
“How
could I miss that? Of course
I’ll be there!”
Malinda lay in bed awake
,
staring at the ceiling most of the night. How could she talk to Wesley about such
an embarrassing subject without either blushing or making him angry? There had to
be a way. There just had to.
Chapter
Five
Malinda woke with a positive attitude the next morning. She’d talk to Wesley about
waiting to consummate the marriage, but either way, she was going to marry him that
day. She was pretty sure he’d wait because he obviously cared about her, but she
was also sure she could handle it if he said no. She just wanted a little longer
if he’d agree to it.
She practically danced down the steps for breakfast, extremely excited about her wedding
day. As usual, Ellen had already eaten. Alice said she was in the bathtub, so Malinda
asked for a bath to be arranged for her as well. She hated the idea of getting ready
for her wedding without her sister beside her, but she knew Ellen was getting ready
for her own wedding and she didn’t want to disturb her.
She’d finished her bath and was just brushing her hair dry when there was a knock
at her door. Wearing just her robe, she opened the door to see Ellen standing there,
in her own robe, but her hair done perfectly. She looked better than Malinda had
ever seen her.
There was a young red-headed girl beside her.
“Malinda, this is Angela. She’s just finished fixing my hair for me, and I thought
maybe you’d like her to do yours as well.”
“Oh, I’d love that!” She pulled the younger girl into her room with her
,
finding a chair and dragging it to the center of the room. She sat down and smiled.
“I was afraid I’d have to try to do my hair myself, and for such an important day,
I really wasn’t sure I could do a good job. Thank you so much for helping me!”
Angela nodded. “I’m happy to help,” she said with a soft voice with the musical lilt
of an Irish accent.
Not good at talking to strangers the way Ellen was, she sat quietly wondering if she
should be talking to the girl doing her hair or just sitting there letting her work
her magic. The girl was fast and efficient and seemed happy without talking, so Malinda
sat and waited.
When she was done, she looked in the mirror over the dresser and saw her own face
light up. “It’s wonderful! Thank you so much!” Her hair had been arranged in a
complicated
mass of curls on top of her head. She knew she’d never looked as good as she did
at that moment. “How did you learn to do this?”
Angela blushed with pleasure and shrugged. “Mum would sometimes do hair for the ladies
in town before she died. I watched her, and sometimes practice on the other girls
down at the orphanage.”
Malinda’s heart went out to her. “I’ve lost both of my parents as well. It’s hard,
isn’t it?”
It would have been so much harder without Ellen beside her. “Do you have any brothers
or sisters?”
Angela shook her head. “I’m an only child.
” She indicated Malinda’s dress on the floor. “Would you like some help putting
it on?”
“Would you mind? I’m all thumbs today. It’s not every day a girl gets married.”
“Oh? You’ll be marrying too? I thought it was just Ellen getting married to Mr.
Harris.”
Malinda smiled excitedly. “I’m marrying the other Mr. Harris. The sheriff.” It
was the first time she’d said the words aloud and they felt good on her tongue. She
was marrying Wesley, whom she loved.
If he’d agree. She hoped she hadn’t made him too angry the night before.