Make Your Move (11 page)

At the time, she had agreed it was a nice idea, but now, at the end of her horrible day, after thinking about everything, including what Jason had told her, she knew that she and Dan had to talk. She looked in the mirror as she put her hair up and realized how far away from “just sex” they really had traveled. And they couldn’t go any further until she knew what was going on.

Sliding her dress off and throwing jeans back on, taking her hair down, she breathed deeply and settled her resolve as the doorbell rang. Dan, here to pick her up.

She pulled open the door and saw him frown. He was dressed very sharply in a handsome brown suit that couldn’t help but distract her for a moment as her eyes slid over him. She knew what was under that suit, but he also looked incredible wearing it.

And he had flowers—damn.

“Uh, did you forget our date?” he asked tentatively, leaning in for a kiss, handing her the flowers.

Regret and confusion completely strangled her resolve as she struggled to maintain the strict decision she’d made mere seconds before.

“The flowers are gorgeous,” she said, holding the fragrant gardenias to her nose. How had he known she loved gardenias? They also must have cost a fortune.

“Hey, are you okay? Not feeling well?” he asked, stepping inside and taking the flowers from her, laying them on the table. “We don’t have to go anywhere.”

She couldn’t seem to say anything. It only upset her more. What was happening to her? She’d never had this
bad a time setting the record straight with men who wanted too much.

But this was Dan, and whether she liked it or not, she wanted more, too. She wanted to have put on a new dress and watched his eyes light up when he saw it, and she wanted him to take it off when they got home later.

“I am such a complete screwup,” was the only thing that came out of her mouth as he took her in his arms, gathering her up close and letting her cry all over his expensive suit.

“Not by a million miles, sweetheart,” he said, and held her, letting her sob it out.

Why was she crying again?

Maybe it was more than the deal on the bakery being doomed? Had she allowed herself to feel anything but lust these past years?

She could almost think that must be preferable, if it didn’t feel so damned good to be held, to have someone who was just there, when they didn’t even know why.

“I am so sorry, Dan,” she finally managed, sniffling and pulling away, going in search of a tissue.

She groaned when she looked in the mirror again, and found herself all red eyed and puffy, her nose looking like Rudolph and her hair…well, she wasn’t going to go there. Putting a little cold water on her face, she blew her nose and straightened her back, returning to the main room, where Dan had taken a seat on her sofa.

“So, tell me who made you cry so I can go beat them up,” he said with a sympathetic smile.

She plopped down on the sofa next to him. “That could be a little tough.”

“Why’s that?”

“You’d have to sock yourself in the eye.”

A moment of silence, and he said, sounding understandably confused, “
I
made you so upset? How did I manage that?”

Jodie let out a sigh, and leaned on a sofa cushion, turning her head to meet his curious, concerned gaze.

“It’s not you—well, kind of, but not really.”

“That clarifies things. Thanks.”

She nearly smiled. She was in so much trouble if the man could make her smile even on a day like this. First she told him about Ginger, and how their friendship had complicated work.

“Jodie, what does this have to do with me? Just lay it out there, like you always do. There’s nothing you can’t tell me. Nothing we can’t work through.”

She stood, throwing her arms up. “See, that’s what I mean. That’s the problem.”

The poor man looked sincerely flummoxed.

She tried to explain. “Being friends with Ginger has made everything harder. I need to be able to be objective with employees, to assess their performance, have expectations, and fire them, if necessary, without it being an emotional disaster.”

“But you didn’t let her go, you worked out a compromise.”

“Yes, but I could also be out of business, or unable to afford a full-time employee, and I didn’t tell her that because I didn’t want to lose her—as a friend. Friendship—and in our case, sex—they’re a real problem when you mix them with business.”

“How exactly would you lose your shop? And how does this involve me?” His eyes narrowed as he watched her, and Jodie took a deep breath.

“You know what my mom said to me once? That if she wanted anything from my father, just one thing, it was that he could put us—her—first. Before anything. That she could know she was the most important thing to him on the planet. But he never did. He was the most important thing in his universe, and he expected us to believe that, too. And yet she stuck with him anyway, always hoping that things would change.”

He did turn then, his body tight with tension. “I have no idea what this has to do with us, Jodie.”

“Really?” she said, knowing her words were taking her down a path she wasn’t sure she wanted to travel down, but she was speaking the truth, exposing the real fears in her heart, and there was no stopping now.

“How about every time you took off on a science project, and didn’t even let me know where you were off to or when you’d be back. You would just pop up in my life and expect me to be there. And I was.” She gulped a breath, trying to focus. “And the times you forgot my birthday or couldn’t meet me for dinner or a movie because you were too wrapped up in some work? Or how about now? I’ve worked damned hard all of these years, building that bakery up to what it is, and yes, you gave me the chance to do it, but I made it what it is. And if something goes wrong, I’ll be the one who loses everything,” she said.

He took a step forward. “Jodie, do you really think
I would take the bakery from you even if we broke up?”

“No. But you wouldn’t do whatever it takes to save it, either, would you?” she accused bitterly.

“What do you mean?”

“I talked with Jason today. I know you denied his research funding, and he’s going to sell the icing formula to my competitors, or put it up on the Internet so anyone can make it. And when he does, I lose the biggest profit-maker I have. It might kill business. Maybe all of it,” she said, letting her anguish overtake any final words.

D
AN WAS STRUCK DUMB
.
“Jason came to see you?” he said, unable to really get his mind around everything she was telling him.

“He came by the bakery earlier. He told me he’d never intended to go to the FDA, but that he was trying to blackmail you into approving some funding for his research, and since you hadn’t, he was going to publish the formula and undercut my business.”

“But that’s so stupid. We’d sue.”

“Sue who? We still don’t have any solid proof he’s done anything, and I can’t afford the kind of legal fees he would cause by fighting me. He said the only way he’d change things was if you changed your mind and approved his project. Which I knew you wouldn’t, so I guess that’s that.”

“And you took this as disloyalty, Jodie? That I didn’t give in to his threats?”

She shook her head, running her hands through her hair. “No. I just wondered why I didn’t know about any of it. Jason was able to blindside me because I had no
idea that he was blackmailing you. I didn’t know why you wouldn’t tell me. No matter what, I’m the collateral damage and that’s true, because he knows how we feel about each other. If we didn’t have a relationship, he never would have thought he could use me against you….”

Dan held his hand up and closed his eyes as if for patience. “Wait. We had a friendship long before we had sex, Jodie. Do you think you’d be calling off our friendship if all of the same things had happened? You were dating Jason when I got back into town, so there was a good chance he would have found out about us knowing each other no matter what.”

“No. He would have been a one-night thing, just like all the rest. He never would have known your connection to me…if we hadn’t gotten together. It’s given him ammunition.”

They were silent for a few long moments. Dan was struggling, trying to sort out what Jodie was saying, about who was to blame for what. It wasn’t easy, especially when his own emotions were so deeply involved. But he knew he’d do anything to keep her from calling it quits on their relationship.

She also had a point—a convoluted one, but still a point. He had put himself and his work first for many years. So had she. As friends, it was how they operated, and he’d never guessed that she felt slighted.

“So do you wish that?” Dan asked quietly. “Do you wish we’d never gotten together?”

Jodie looked stricken, and shook her head.

“No. I mean…no, I like us together. I just…I don’t
know what to think. This shouldn’t be a choice between you or the bakery, but it comes down to that.”

“Maybe. Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just thought you had enough to worry about, but you’re right, I should have. I’m sorry for that.”

She nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“You never told me you wished I would have been better about contacting you when I was out of town. And I’m sorry about your birthdays. You just never seemed to attach much importance to those kinds of things. You were always out with your friends, partying, or with some guy. I have to admit, I didn’t think you even noticed what I was doing.”

Jodie looked surprised at his admission. “I didn’t because it’s not what friends do. Those are the kinds of expectations lovers have, not buddies. I have a lot of friends, and they come and go, and I don’t necessarily know where they are or expect them to remember everything,” she said. “But with you, it was different.”

Hope soared again, and he winced at how easily she could make it happen with just a few words. “Different how?”

The wary look entered her eyes again, but then faded to something else as she sagged down to sit on the sofa, her head in her hands.

“You and your stupid, freakin’ logic. I just admitted that I’ve thought of you as more than a friend for quite some time. How stupid am I? I never even saw it myself. Hell, I was dating Jason as a way to fantasize about you. I never have felt this way about any of my other friends. Only you.”

Dan couldn’t help but grin, even in the midst of their serious conversation. His heart lightened.

“I’ve only ever felt this way for you, as well, Jodie. Only for you,” he said, echoing her words. He joined her on the sofa.

She said nothing, just sat there with her hands over her eyes, her fingers forked into her bangs, quiet. He supposed while the realization of her feelings was a good thing for him, he wasn’t sure how she was going to handle it.

“Jodie, are you okay?” he asked, unsure if he should touch her but unable to stop himself from putting his hand on her back, rubbing softly, to comfort more than anything.

“This is so screwed up. I don’t know what to do,” she said miserably, but he took it as a good sign that she let him pull her in close, resting her head on his chest.

“Listen, I’m sorry I blew this out of control. I thought I could handle it myself, and I never imagined he would go to you directly.”

She looked up at him, her blue eyes blurry and tired from tears. He hated seeing her like this. If Dan had his way, he’d make sure she never had another miserable moment in her life, especially because of him.

“I’m sorry, too. I should have known it wasn’t that you were putting yourself before me, but I couldn’t help that gut reaction. I can’t see what choices we have. Either you compromise your ethics or I lose my bakery, or at least, I lose the signature product we offer.”

Dan kissed her forehead and sighed. “Well, some of this really
is
my fault. There are a few other things
I didn’t mention, and it probably made the situation worse.”

“Like what?”

“Well, for starters, I broke into Jason’s office looking for proof he’d stolen the formula, the orders, and he caught me. I think it—”

Jodie jerked her head up so quickly that she nearly hit his chin with her head, and she stared at him in surprise.

“You did
what?
”

He shrugged, worried he had admitted something that was going to make it worse, but the cat was out of the bag now.

“He was in a meeting, and I thought that I could break into his office and see what I could find, maybe I could grab the information, at the very least, he’d no longer have it, or I could call the police and show that he’d stolen it,” he explained quickly, wincing. “Though that didn’t really make much sense, I guess, as he could have said I planted it. I wasn’t thinking of that at the time.”

Jodie nodded, watching him closely with a curious look in her eyes. “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter.”

“It does. He caught me, and that ratcheted things up. That’s when he made demands for me to approve his research. I don’t know that he was actually thinking of it until then. So once he knew he had me over a barrel, he decided to up his game, see what he could get.”

“Dan, that’s not important.”

“Oh…no?”

“No.” She smiled a little for the first time since he’d walked in the door.

“You risked a lot—doing something like that in your workplace and then getting caught. Your reputation could have been seriously called into question, right?”

“Probably not that serious, but it would have raised some eyebrows.”

She shook her head in wonder and then leaned in to press a soft kiss, salty from tears, to his mouth. “Dan, you thought with your heart, not your head. Logic didn’t matter. You weren’t worried about the consequences—you were just trying to help me. You were thinking of me before everything,” she said, leaning in to kiss him again, and his blood warmed.

“I—I hadn’t thought of it like that,” he said against her mouth. “But I guess that’s true. I love you, Jodie, and I might as well say so. You have to know that’s how I feel, and how I’ve felt for a while,” he said, knowing he was taking a huge risk. “I want so much more than sex from you. I want everything. All of it. With you,” he said, staring into her eyes.

She didn’t pull away.

“I know, Dan. I know that now. I just…I’m afraid. I can see, in my head, how we’re different from my parents, but my emotions, at the gut level they still make me react…stupidly.”

“No, not stupid. You really need to stop using that word. You’re being honest, and you’ve had pain. I know that. I don’t ever want to cause you more.”

“You don’t. I mean, we should have been keeping each other in the loop on this, figuring it out together,
but I know I don’t always make things easier. I shouldn’t have let Jason get to me.” She shook her head. “I never want to hurt you.”

“You couldn’t.” He knew that was a lie, but he wasn’t going to have her carrying this worry around.

Her smile slanted slightly. “Not what Donna thinks.”

“Donna?” He frowned. “What does she have to do with anything?”

“I bumped into her. It was fine, a little awkward, but she made it clear she doesn’t think I’m right for you.”

Dan’s mouth flattened. “I’ll talk to her.”

“No. It’s fine, really. She was just concerned for you, and she just doesn’t want you hurt.”

“I’m not a child. Donna was always overprotective, and she needs to know when to butt out.”

“Well, it’s nice that she cares that much for you. You have a great family,” Jodie said a little wistfully.

“I know. I just wish they knew when to back off. Granted, they had a lot of challenges helping me deal socially with being so advanced, but right now what’s between you and me, well, it’s only between you and me.”

Jodie smiled. “Yeah, that’s true.”

She kissed him again, a little more heatedly, and though his desire leaped, he couldn’t deny disappointment that she hadn’t reacted to his declaration the way he’d hoped. But maybe it was baby steps.

She’d admitted they had more than sex going on, and that she’d felt even more than friendship for a long
while. Still, as her hands started exploring him, he had to back away.

“While it’s hard to say no,” he admitted with a groan as her teeth nipped his earlobe, “I think we shouldn’t do this right now.”

“Why not? I think we’ve said all we need to say for the moment,” she said with a sexy smile.

“It’s not that I don’t want you, believe me. I want you constantly, but I don’t want us always turning to sex to solve our problems.”

She smiled. “You just have no idea how good makeup sex can be.”

“Can we find out later? We were going to go out on a date, and I think we should.”

She blinked. “You still want to go out?”

“Sure. Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll make some new reservations. We’ll go out, talk, and maybe we can come up with some solutions to this problem together?”

She nodded, then readjusted his tie. “Okay. We’ll go out. As long as you let me take this tie off later, and put it to some very interesting use.”

His cock turned hard and her wiggling against him didn’t help. He swatted her backside playfully. “It’s a deal. Get off me, vixen, and go get dressed.”

She was smiling, too, as she headed off to the shower.

Dan pursed his lips, an idea forming. After he called the restaurant for new reservations, he looked up another number. There was a man he’d worked on a project with
a while ago—a hush-hush corporate security kind of thing—who might be able to help them.

“Hi, Kevin, Dan Ellison here.”

“Hey Dan, this is a surprise. Calling to take me up on the job offer?”

“Afraid not, but if I ever get tired of academia, which could happen anytime—” they both laughed at that “—then you’d be first on my list. I was wondering if I could talk to you about a problem I have….”

“Sure, shoot.”

Dan gave him the outline about being blackmailed, and the two men talked about it. Dan heard Jodie’s shower shut off and by that time, he had his solution.

Now he just had to see if she was up for it, too.

J
ODIE COULDN’T BELIEVE
that only a few hours had passed since she was alone in her apartment planning to end things with Dan and feeling like crap. Now, on a warm autumn night, she was in her favorite blue dress and heels, sitting at an outdoor tapas café that provided a great view of the river and city streets. She and Dan fed each other bits of tomato and watermelon salad. Next, they’d be trying succulent meats and cheeses from the plates they had ordered. Jodie loved tapas for the variety. You never had to choose just one thing for dinner, but could make a meal of several different kinds of foods.

She’d felt the same way about her love life, really, until just this minute. Dan filled her up and, as he pushed a piece of tuna tartare through her lips, she sucked the tip of his finger in with it and loved how his eyes darkened in reaction.

He’d said he loved her. She hadn’t said it back.

She wanted to, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Not yet. She knew once she said that to Dan, there would be no turning back. Other people seemed to fall in and out of love like they caught colds, but she’d never said that to anyone, not in the serious, romantic sense. She didn’t know how to be sure that this was really love and not something else. Something that might slip away.

Thankfully, Dan seemed willing to wait.

Until then, she could try to show him how she felt for him in every way she could.

“Do you want dessert?” Dan asked as he paid the check. Jodie offered to split, but Dan had simply glared at her. She let him pick up the check, enjoying his traditional bent.

“Maybe after a walk? I know a late-night place that does great espresso and chocolate cake.”

He smiled, taking her hand as they walked out to the sidewalk, heading across the street to walk along the river. “Sounds like that could keep us awake all night? What will we do?”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll think of something,” she answered in the same teasing tone, tugging at his tie. She squeezed his hand. “Thank you for talking me into going out. This was perfect.”

“You’re more than welcome. We should make a habit of it. You look beautiful, by the way, if I had failed to mention it earlier. Everything about you is perfect, Jodie,” he said sincerely.

She smiled, overwhelmed with his praise. “Don’t put
me on a pedestal, Dan. I’m so far from perfect it isn’t funny, and if anyone knows that, it’s you.”

“Well, maybe I love all of the imperfections, and so that makes you perfect—for me,” he countered with logic that made her chuckle.