Read Malcolm (Book 1, The Redemption Series) Online
Authors: S.J. West
Unfortunately, Malcolm leads me to the reflective wall in my room and not my bed. He turns me around so that my back is facing it. He lets go of my hand, and I immediately feel a loss from the absence of his touch.
“I need to undo your dress in the back to show you something,” he warns, walking behind me and gently grasping the top of my dress there to pull the seam apart and bare my back.
He separates the seam until it reaches the small of my back while I hold up the front with my hands so the dress doesn't fall off. I look over my shoulder and see that he's staring at something on that portion of my body with a troubled frown on his face.
“What's there?” I ask, concerned by his expression and remembering the pain I felt earlier when he caressed that same exact spot.
Malcolm looks up at me before stepping to my right side and allowing me to see the reflection of my back in the mirror.
At the very base of my spine, I see a circular raised mark. Almost like a brand burnt into my skin. The symbol is strange, like nothing I've ever seen before. Yet, I immediately know what it says.
“Conflict,” I say, reading the word aloud.
“It's one of the seven seals,” Malcolm tells me. “It was the one Amon had.”
I stare at the seal, burnt into my flesh. “How did I get it? Was it transferred to me when I killed him?”
“That's what I'm assuming,” Malcolm says. “We were told that you would be able to recover the seals from the princes, but we didn't know how exactly until now. After you've retrieved them all, you can take them back to where they belong.”
“Which is where exactly?”
“Heaven.”
I stop looking at my reflection and turn my full attention back to Malcolm. “Don't you have to be dead to go to Heaven?”
“Not the women from your family line. You inherited the ability to phase into Heaven whenever you want.”
“Why would anyone want to do that?” I ask.
“Most don't,” Malcolm admits. “For the living, Heaven isn't a place where they feel comfortable because they're not meant to be there. But, I think once you recover the rest of the seals from the other princes, you'll need to go there and return them to God.”
I stare at Malcolm because I can't seem to make myself stop staring at him. I feel an uncontrollable urge to just throw myself into his arms and kiss him until he makes me stop, but I restrain myself because that isn't the proper way a lady should behave around a gentleman, especially one she's just met. Yet, my heart feels tethered to Malcolm in a way I don't absolutely understand. The gaping hole that has always been there is filled now, and I finally feel complete.
It's only the wariness in Malcolm's eyes as he looks back at me that tarnishes the moment. For some reason, he doesn't seem to trust me, and I can't fathom the reason why. In my fairytale dreams about meeting my soul mate, I always envisioned him wanting me as much as I want him. Yet, I get the feeling Malcolm may not feel the same way I do. Could I have just been deluding myself into thinking true love was instantaneous for both parties? Would Malcolm ever be able to return my feelings, or was I doomed to a one sided attraction that would never be requited?
Malcolm clears his throat and walks behind me again to close the seam of my dress for me.
I feel the tips of his fingers glide across my back as he brings the two pieces of fabric together. I expect him to walk back in front of me, but he doesn't. He stays behind me and remains silent, unmoving. I give him a few seconds more to walk away. When he remains in the same position, I slowly turn around to look at him.
Again, he has a puzzled expression on his face. When our eyes meet, I can see that he wants to say something to me. His lips part slightly like he's about to speak, but then he presses them back together firmly and his jaw muscles tense.
“What should we do next?” I whisper to him, still feeling perplexed by the events of the evening and completely clueless what our next move should be.
“You need to go through with your marriage to the emperor,” Malcolm says, catching me off guard.
“Have you lost your mind?” I demand. “I can't marry that thing!”
“If you want to have a chance at finding Andre, you need to do what I say, Anna. As empress, you'll have more power and privileges. If you truly want to save Andre, that's what you're going to have to do.”
“I'll do it for my father,” I say. “But that thing will never be my husband.”
“It's a marriage of convenience,” Malcolm agrees. “Not one of the heart, and that's the only one that counts in God's eyes.”
“Will you be staying here?” I ask, hoping Malcolm will remain close to my side. “Will you stay in Cirrus to help me?”
“I need to return to my home and make a few arrangements first,” Malcolm says. “But, I promise to be back in time for the party tomorrow night at the palace.”
Until that moment, I had completely forgotten about the ball at the palace. It's tradition in Cirrus for the bride and groom to host a gathering of friends and family the night before their nuptials. It's definitely not something I’m looking forward to.
“Anna, you can count on me to help you fulfill your destiny,” Malcolm tells me, even though there is a great deal of hesitation in his voice. “But you need to know that I'm only doing it because of a vow I made to someone very dear to me. I promised her that I would see this mission through to the end, and I don't intend to break my pledge to her.”
“Who did you make that promise to?” I ask.
Malcolm hesitates. Finally he says, “To the woman who has always been dearest to my heart. For her, I will help you.”
My own heart sinks into the pit of my stomach. How can Malcolm already be in love with someone else when I feel so certain we are meant for one another?
“Try to get some rest, Anna,” Malcolm says. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
Malcolm phases and leaves me feeling more alone than I have ever felt in my entire life. As I look at the spot he phased from, I see a room through what looks like a shimmering hole floating in mid-air. I stare through the hole to this other world until it finally disappears.
With a heavy heart, I go back to my bed and lie down. As I lay there, the events of the day come crashing into me like a boulder barreling down from the top of a mountain, crushing my soul with grief over the loss of Auggie, uncertainty over my father's fate, and pain over the knowledge that the man I thought was the match to my soul has already given his heart to someone else.
CHAPTER Eight
Just as sleep loosens its fervent grasp on my consciousness the next morning, I hear a melodic tune I haven't heard in years, but I immediately recognize the voice of the person singing it.
I open my eyes and find Millie sitting on the side of my bed, gently brushing my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my exposed ear.
I instantly sit up, and we wrap our arms around one another.
“Where have you been?” I ask, feeling a rush of relief to have one of my friends return to my side.
“They kept Eliza and me in a cell until this morning,” Millie says, hugging me tightly to her. “We weren't told why they were keeping us though. What's happened, my sweet? Where is your father?”
I pull back from Millie and tell her everything that happened from the time I was arrested at the Tribute Ball until the moment Malcolm left me the night before.
“Master Devereaux was here?” Millie asks in astonishment. “Well, I never thought that man would ever step a foot into Cirrus.”
“You know Malcolm?” I ask. “How?”
“I was the head of his household in New Orleans before I came to Cirrus with your father the night you were born. I haven't seen him since then though. I wish I had been here to speak with him.”
“Well, like I said, he told me he needed to make some arrangements back home and then he's supposed to come back to Cirrus. He promised me he would be here in time for the party tonight.”
“If that's what Master Devereaux promised, then that's exactly what he will do. He never breaks a vow if it's within his power to keep it.”
“Millie,” I say, hesitant to voice my next words but needing answers to questions I didn't feel comfortable asking Malcolm directly. “Malcolm said that he made a promise to a woman who is dearest to his heart to help me stop the seven princes. Do you know who she is? Have you ever met her?”
“I'm not completely sure I should talk about her,” Millie replies, looking reluctant to say anything beyond this simple statement.
“Please, Millie, who is she?” I beg, needing to know the name of the woman Malcolm seems to have so much respect and love for.
“She was one of your original ancestors,” Millie finally says. “That's about all I feel comfortable saying, my sweet. If Master Devereaux found out that I talked about her with you, I'm not sure he would like it very much. Plus, I would feel as though I was breaking his confidence in what he shared about her with me.”
“She was one of my ancestors?” I ask, feeling confused all of a sudden. “So, she's dead?”
“He buried her a long time ago from what I gather,” Millie tells me. “But her loss still haunts him to this day. I think he's simply been waiting all these years to fulfill his promise to her before welcoming death for himself.”
“Death?” I ask, feeling panic set in. “After he helps me reclaim the seven seals, do you think he'll kill himself just to be with her again?”
Millie shrugs her shoulder. “I can't say. All I know is that he loved her more than anything in this world and even after she died he couldn't bring himself to stop loving her. I think the promise he made to her is the only thing that's been keeping him going all these years. It must be such a relief to him now to finally know Lord Andre has been right all these years about you being the one they've been waiting for. Your father knew you were special from the first moment he held you in his arms, but Master Devereaux would never admit it.”
“Why?” I ask. “Is there something about me that he doesn't like?”
Millie is silent, and her eyes drift to her hands in her lap as she wrings them against one another nervously.
“I'm not sure I'm the person who should be answering these questions,” she finally says. “I think your father would want to do that himself.”
“He's not here, Millie, and you are,” I reason, needing the answers she seems reluctant to give. “Please, if there's a reason Malcolm doesn't like me, I
need
to know it.”
Millie looks up at me with a question of her own on her face. She hesitates to ask but finally she does.
“Why is it so important for you to know, my sweet? Why does the opinion of a man you just met matter so much to you?”
I shake my head slightly. “You'll probably think I'm crazy if I tell you why.”
Millie places a gentle hand on top of one of mine resting on my lap.
“I won't think you're crazy,” she says. “Tell me.”
“I've waited so long for someone to make me feel the way he did last night,” I say, feeling a desperate need to share my feelings about Malcolm with someone. “I always imagined when I met my soul mate that I would feel the earth beneath me move and my heart tremble just from being in his presence. When I looked at Malcolm for the first time, I felt those two things happen Millie. But...”
I find it hard to go on and admit the rest. Millie gently squeezes the hand she still holds.
“But what?”
“But, I don't think he felt the same things I did. He acted more like he was simply here to fulfill a duty.”
Millie sighs. “Well, there is one thing that you absolutely need to know about Master Devereaux. He is the most stubborn man I have ever met in my life! And from what you told me, I wouldn't discount his feelings for you just yet.”
“Why?” I ask. “What did I tell you that makes you think that?”
“Your father has shared a lot of stories with me over the years,” Millie begins. “I think he wanted me to know about your family's past in case something ever happened to him, and he wasn't able to tell you himself. I remember one particular story about an ancestor of yours named Jess. She fell in love with a Watcher...”
“Wait,” I say, interrupting her. “What's a Watcher?”
“They were a group of angels sent to Earth a very long time ago,” Millie tells me. “Your father and Master Malcolm are Watchers. Though, from what I understand, there are only a handful of them left here on Earth now. Most of them asked to become mortal after they found their soul mates. When the Watchers were first sent to Earth, they were only meant to act as teachers to mankind, but all of them ended up falling in love and marrying human women. Most of them even had children with them. Since they broke God's one and only rule, He cursed them and their children as punishment. The Watchers became something known as vampires and were cursed with an insatiable need for human blood, and their children were doomed to live as werewolves, which means they lived in their human form during the day and were transformed into wolves at night. It was only through the bravery of your ancestor, the one Master Malcolm's heart still pines for, that some of the Watchers were able to regain who they were and earn their forgiveness from God.
Now, as I was saying, one of your ancestors, whose name was Jess, fell in love with a Watcher named Mason. From the story about them that your father told me, Mason was able to feel Jess' pain whenever she was hurt or extremely upset and could phase to her exact location because they were soul mates. God opened up that special connection between them. That sounds precisely like what Master Malcolm was able to do last night when you were hurt, my sweet. He said he felt your pain, correct?”
I nod, gaining hope from Millie's story. “Yes.”
“Also, if you add in the fact that he's never been to Cirrus before, which is an essential part of phasing, what other explanation is there but that he is indeed your soul mate? He knew you were in trouble, and he came to you. I'm not sure it can get any clearer than that, even to someone as stubborn as him.”
“Why would he try to deny this connection between us?” I ask, not understanding why he would want to reject his feeling for me if he felt the same way I did.
“Odds are the old codger still holds a grudge against your biological father,” Millie snorts. “It was the reason Master Malcolm asked Lord Andre to raise you instead of doing the job himself.”
“Did you know my biological father?” I ask, feeling curiosity get the best of me. “Who was he?”
Millie shakes her head resolutely. “That I absolutely
cannot
tell you.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because your father made me promise that I would never talk about him to you until he had the opportunity to do it himself first. Since we don't know what's become of Lord Andre, I have to keep to my faith that the two of you will be reunited again one day soon. When you are, you can ask him whatever questions you might have yourself.”
“Can you at least tell me why Malcolm seems to hate this man so much?”
Millie hesitates but gives me at least that much information. “I don't know the whole story, but I do know that he hurt Master Malcolm a long time ago. That's all I know about it. Neither Master Malcolm or Lord Andre wanted to talk about the incident much.”
“Did...did my real father love my mother?”
Millie smiles forlornly, like the memory is a bittersweet one for her. “I believe he loved her very much. Your mother was exactly what he needed because she was able to teach him the most important lesson of all, how to love again. Their union was doomed from the start, I think, but you couldn't tell either one of them that. Master Malcolm tried to separate them after he learned about their relationship, but neither of them paid any mind to his words of caution. All they could think about was each other. It was almost like the outside world didn't exist for them when they were together. I was so happy for your mother. I just wish the happiness could have lasted.”
“Why did she die giving birth to me?” I ask. “With our technology, people don't normally die from that sort of thing anymore. It should have been preventable.”
“The pregnancy itself was simply too hard on her body. Your mother refused to have anything placed inside her that might harm you. From the moment you were conceived, you became more important to her than her own life. Your biological father and Master Malcolm tried to persuade her into seeking medical attention, but Amalie was just as stubborn as the two of them. She believed that if it was meant for her to survive the pregnancy then she would without any outside help.”
“Why did a normal pregnancy kill her?” I ask. “I still don't understand.”
“I think you and I both know that you are not like everyone else,” Millie says gently.
I sit there for a moment letting my thoughts run their natural course.
“I killed her, didn't I?” I ask, my voice breaking over the knowledge that I truly did cause my mother's death.
“It wasn't your fault,” Millie says with such tenderness I have to believe her. “You were conceived out of pure love, my sweet. I don't think you can ask for a better reason to be born into this world than that.”
“Was my father a Watcher too?” I ask.
“No, he was definitely
not
a Watcher.”
“Then why am I able to phase?”
“That ability comes from both your mother and your father. They could both do it.”
“Then my father was an angel of some sort?”
“Yes, but that's all I can say,” Millie says stubbornly. “I would really rather wait for Lord Andre or Master Devereaux to explain him to you.”
“Did you like him?” I ask, wanting to know more about this mystery man I shared half my genetic code with.
“I liked him well enough when he was with your mother,” Millie says, acting like this small admission is as far as she is willing to go in saying she approved of my biological father. “He was a totally different man when he was with her. I think if anyone was surprised by their love for one another it was him. Your mother had to work extra hard to make him realize he had feelings for her. He was quite obstinate in the beginning, but Amalie was always one to get what she wanted, and she wanted him. She broke down his walls and made him realize there was a small part of his soul which belonged only to her.”
I feel sure my mother passed down her tenacity to me. This thought more than anything else gives me hope that I will be able to make Malcolm accept his feelings for me. After Millie told me about the connection between my ancestors, Jess and Mason, I had no lingering uncertainty that Malcolm was made for me, and I was born for him.
I simply had to make him realize it too.
And there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would be able to do it...
CHAPTER Nine
“Oh, Lady Anna,” Eliza croons as she walks around me, examining every angle of the gown I'm wearing to the party celebrating my marriage to the emperor the next day, “I don't think I've ever seen you look lovelier. There's an inner glow about you tonight. Did something good happen during all the bad while we were away?”
Millie and I decided to keep Eliza in the dark about all the secrets I had just unearthed concerning my family history. The less she knew, hopefully, the less danger she would be in.
“Thank you, Eliza,” I tell her, “I think I'm just excited about the party.”
It wasn't a lie, just a truncated version of the truth.
If I were to tell her the truth, I would have to admit that my heart was yearning to see a certain someone make his appearance at the wedding celebration. Not only would it be the first time anyone in Cirrus, besides myself and Millie, gained the privilege of seeing Malcolm in the flesh, but it would also be my next chance to be near him again. It hadn't even been a day since we last saw each other, but even that short span of time was simply too long to my heart's way of thinking
“I'll go get your coat for you,” Eliza tells me as she walks out of the front room and back into my bedroom.
“You
are
glowing,” Millie says to me knowingly, “and I think I only need one guess as to why.”
“Do you think I'm being silly, Millie?” I whisper. “Is it crazy to feel the way I do for someone I've only just met? Someone...who I don't really know? It doesn't make any logical sense, does it?”
“Whoever said love had to be logical?” Millie whispers back. “I was with Master Devereaux for as long as I've been with you. If there was ever a man who needed someone to love him unconditionally, it's him. His life has been a hard one, and I think he's due a great deal of happiness. If you are the one meant to bring joy back into his life, I say jump on that man and ride off into the sunset together.”
I giggle. “Millie, I didn't know you were such a romantic.”
“When it comes to two people I care dearly about, I will do whatever it takes to make sure their lives are happy ones.”
I hold my hand out to Millie, and she grabs it.
“Now, just remember,” Millie tells me, “he is as stubborn as this day has been long for you. But don't let him get away with it. Don't let him use it as a shield to protect himself from you. Do whatever it takes to make him face his feelings. I'll wager he'll fight against falling in love with you. Don't you dare let him do that and ruin both your lives.”
“You sound so certain that he feels the same way I do.”
Millie nods her head. “I am. I know it in my heart just like you do. It just makes sense that you would be the one who was made for him. Of all the people I have been privileged to know in this world, you, my sweet, are the best of them all. I've watched you grow from a new born babe into the strong, beautiful woman standing before me. If anyone can handle Master Devereaux, it's you Anna Desiraye Greco. Of that, I have no doubt whatsoever.”
I squeeze Millie's hand to silently tell her 'thank you' for her encouraging words as Eliza walks back into the room with my fur coat.
For the wedding celebration, Empress Catherine decided to lower the temperature inside the dome and produce an artificial snow. In the down-world, it was just approaching winter. It was one of the few times Cirrus tried to mimic the weather of those less fortunate. We would not have to endure the harshness of it for more than a day though. Unfortunately, those below us would have to struggle through the cold temperatures for a few months.
Ever since the last great war, temperatures had steadily become extreme on the surface. Summers were excruciatingly hot, and winters were unbearably cold. I was told it had something to do with the ozone layer protecting the surface. Apparently, after being exposed to so much radiation from the bombings during the war, it had been thinned out to a point where keeping the temperature regulated on the surface was almost impossible. As far as I knew, our scientists were still trying to figure out a way to repair the damage that had been done, but no solution seemed to be a permanent one.
Eliza drapes my fur coat over my shoulders. It's not fur from an actual animal. That was outlawed years ago. Now we had the ability to produce fur which looked and felt like the real thing without the barbaric mutilation of animals just for their pelts. The furs of this particular coat were a blending of warm color tones: auburn, grey, and beige.
Millie helped me pull my long hair over the back collar of the coat. She decided I should keep my hair simple for this ball. It was split down the natural part on top of my head and completely straight which meant it hung down just past my waist.
“I can't believe you get to ride in the royal carriage,” Eliza says excitedly, showing far more enthusiasm than me about the event.
“I would rather not have to,” I say, dreading the ride to the palace through town.
I was told everyone in Cirrus who wasn't invited to the palace would be watching me make my way to the castle. Being gawked at by strangers wasn't exactly something I was looking forward to.
“Empress Catherine simply wants to show you off,” Millie tells me, straightening the collar of my coat until it's flush against my neck. “The people of Cirrus love you, my sweet, and that woman knows it. If it appears that you accept the royal family as your own, I believe she hopes to earn favor amongst the populous. Just think of it as a little act of goodwill between you and your future mother-in-law. Now, put on that lovely smile of yours and get ready to wave to the people you intend to help one day.”
“I hope to help us all, Millie,” I whisper.
Millie winks at me and turns to head towards the door.
Once we're outside, a footman helps me into the crystal carriage. It reminds me a lot of a fairytale one in an old fashioned story about a girl named Cinderella that Millie used to read to me when I was a child. Two holographic white horses with light blue plumes on their heads are controlled by a holographic driver to perpetuate the illusion that the carriage is being drawn through town by old fashioned means. It's all illusion and fantasy, but I suppose people need to imagine the unreal sometimes.