Authors: Carolyn Thornton
"That feels so good," she murmured, "but you're making me
nervous." She placed her hands on each side of his face and stroked his
cheeks, thinking again of the pain symbolized by the scar.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, lying pliant in her
arms.
"Yes. No. Uhm. Yes."
He pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and smiled at
her, loosening his hold enough so that she could slide off him into a
less intimate position.
Lacey felt deprived. She wanted to stay close to him, but
was afraid of the intimacy.
He got up off the floor and left the room.
I've made him angry
, Lacey thought.
He's
going to be upset now, the way Dominick used to be when I told him "not
tonight". Well, he'll just have to be upset
, she decided.
If
that's all he's interested in, I'm not interested in him. Much
.
Rafe walked back into the room with twin floor pillows and
plopped them down near Lacey. He sat next to her, leaning back against
the pillows, and held out his arms for her. "You don't mind just
cuddling with me, do you?" he asked.
Lacey smiled, her heart beating faster at his perception.
He seemed to understand what excited her and how to relax her. He
invited her trust.
"Love it," she answered, sliding comfortably next to him,
fitting her body smoothly against his side.
He yawned, and she thought she should be going home so
they could both get some sleep. But it felt so right being in his arms.
She had missed the touch of a man for so long, and couldn't ever
remember having been treated so tenderly.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked.
"Uhmm." She snuggled closer and laid her head against his
chest, listening to the strong heartbeat beneath her cheek.
Rafe
Chancellor
, she thought,
how was I ever lucky
enough to have you find me
?
Rafe was nibbling and blowing at her ear. Lacey smiled and
turned her face to kiss his neck. "What time is it?" she mumbled.
"Probably about two o'clock," he answered, his tongue
following the structure of her ear. "Let's go to bed."
"Two? In the morning?" She pushed away from him. "I have
to go home."
"Why?" he asked, smiling, loosening his hold on her, but
keeping her in his arms.
"I have to go into the boutique tomorrow. Don't you have
work to do too?"
"Sure," he answered, "but I'd much rather go to bed with
you."
What was it about Rafe that made everything about him so
tempting? What was it about him that made it difficult for her to say
no, when she wanted so badly to say yes and yes and yes?
Lacey leaned down and kissed him. "Sounds wonderful, but I
have to get up in the morning."
He grinned his "little-boy-needing-tucking-in" grin and
said, "I have an alarm clock. I'll even wind it for you so you won't be
late in the morning."
Lacey laughed. He wanted her as badly as she wanted him,
but he wasn't going to drag her by her hair to his bed if she didn't
agree to go willingly. It had been a long time since she had
encountered a man who showed such respect for her.
"You're tempting me on purpose," she accused.
He nodded with a "damn-right-and-proud-of-it" grin.
Lacey stroked his face, reluctant to leave him, yet
knowing she had to.
Rafe yawned and smiled lazily. "If I fall asleep, you'll
just have to take me back to my bed. And then you'll have to tuck me in
to be sure I'm going to have a nice, comfortable night. And then you're
going to have to come in beside me because I'm afraid of the dark and
sleeping alone. And you'll have to take off all your clothes because we
don't want to get them rumpled. That's the only way I'll be able to get
to sleep." He closed his eyes. "I'm asleep now."
Lacey laughed. For such a sexy, arousing man, he had
endearing qualities that he allowed her to see. She hugged him. "Nice
try," she whispered in his ear, and thrust her tongue inside.
"That has a very strong power of arousing me," he warned
her.
Lacey stopped what she was doing and sat up. "I'm happy to
know that for future reference, but right now I'm going home. Would you
like to let me out of your house?"
"You're sure you don't want to stay?" he asked, sitting
up, propping his elbow on his knee.
"Oh, no. I wouldn't say that. I'd love to stay. But I'm
not going to."
"I don't have any neighbors around for miles."
"I noticed that."
"I'll let you sleep on whichever side of the bed you want
to."
He was giving her a soft-pressure sell that was difficult
to resist. She shook her head, smiling.
"I won't do anything but just sleep with you."
Lacey smiled. He might be capable of that, but with this
man beside her she didn't think she could handle a simple nap. "It's
too soon, Rafe." She bit her lip. "Are you very disappointed? Do you
mind?"
He shook his head. "No," he said, "because I meant what I
said when I wanted to be your friend and lover. There's a lot more than
sex I enjoy about you. Just remember I'll be waiting for you when you
decide it's time."
Her heart warmed; he was capable of much more control than
the men she had been dating recently. It wouldn't hurt to put his
sentiments to the test, just for a few more days, until she couldn't
stand to wait for him any longer.
He stood and reached down a hand to help her up,
continuing the motion to carry her into his arms. Lacey clung to him,
feeling sheltered, cared for, loved, even though no words of love had
passed between them. She felt awed in his arms, that they should feel
so strongly toward each other in such a short time. How often had her
love affairs and crushes been one-sided? How often had the man almost
taken it as a sign of manhood not to reveal his feelings toward her?
How often had her dates played guessing games with her? When had she
ever felt such deep caring?
Rafe turned with her against his shoulder and walked her
into the kitchen. "See? Two-fifteen. I wasn't far off. Not bad for not
wearing a watch," he said, looking at the clock on the stove.
"I noticed that about you," Lacey said, "because I don't
wear one either. There's always someone around who has the correct
time, and I seem to have a better built-in sense of time without one."
He walked with her out to the car. The cool night air
reminded Lacey how long she had been here. It had been hot and sunny
when she had driven out during the late afternoon.
Rafe laughed. "I get wound up a lot of times with people
when I get excited about certain subjects and they'll come in to ask me
a question. And they'll say, when they're in a hurry, 'Just give me the
time, Rafe, don't tell me how the watch was put together.'" He laughed
as she laughed with him.
Lacey stood on her tiptoes in her sandals to kiss him.
"Thanks for inviting me out to the country."
"Anytime," he said. "If you're in the neighborhood, just
drop in. The neighborhood is anything north of the coast."
"Oh," Lacey said, smiling. That meant no matter where she
might be, she was just right next door as far as he was concerned.
"Thanks, I might just surprise you."
"You already have," he answered, smiling, still holding
her against him. "Do you have everything?"
"Uhm," she answered, thinking she didn't need anything
when she was anywhere near him. And if she had left anything behind,
she'd get it tomorrow or today or the next time she saw him. One thing
she was certain of, she would see him again, and soon.
He opened her car door for her and waited for her to get
settled inside, then bent down to kiss her one last time. "Drive
carefully?"
"I will," she said, nodding.
The drive home seemed to take no time at all, filled as
she was with thoughts of Rafe and their last twenty-four hours
together. He knew exactly how long it would take her to drive home. As
she walked through the kitchen for a glass of milk, the phone rang.
It had to be Rafe; no one else would be calling her at
this time of the morning.
She answered the phone, impressed even further with his
caring concern. This man backed up his feelings with actions. She'd
have to get used to that, because she had a feeling he wouldn't value
words as strongly in communicating messages to her.
Lacey climbed into bed with a smile still on her face. She
couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy. Her work with
the boutique had given her a lot of satisfaction and contentment, but
this was pure honey-oozing happiness. For having known him such a short
time, it seemed as if he had always been there and all that had gone
before his arrival was insignificant, like a dusty book that she could
shelve in a dark corner. The plot could vaguely be recalled if she
allowed herself to think about it, but with the vitality of Rafe near
her, there was no reason to dredge up past histories.
Tomorrow
,
she thought.
No, today
.
Monday morning flew past for Lacey. But she didn't get
much work accomplished; she was too busy telling Jane the details of
her Saturday-evening date with Rafe Chancellor/R.C.
Friends of hers who stopped in at the boutique noticed the
difference in her. "You're in love," one girl told Lacey. "There's a
sparkle in your eyes that wasn't there last week."
"Is there?" Lacey blushed. It felt good to be bubbling
over about a man in her life. She'd forgotten what that was like. And
she'd never known a man like Rafe, whom she had locked minds with so
immediately. She still couldn't believe she had learned so much about
him, felt so comfortable around him as she did after knowing him a day
and a half.
He was making it so easy for her to move into his life.
And she'd already decided how she was going to do that, bit by bit,
starting tonight, if he called her to come over for tea or go out to
dinner. She would march right up to him and say, "I've decided to move
into your life piece by piece. Here's the first piece." And she was
going to hand him her favorite tin of almond-flavored tea.
She could hear him saying now, "Oh, okay," the way she had
already caught him doing occasionally when she confronted him with one
of her ideas. She liked the sense of equality he gave her; not only did
he accept her career, but he seemed fascinated by her creativity.
Unlike other men she had dated, he wasn't threatened by her work.
After she moved her tea onto his kitchen shelves, she
might try leaving a toothbrush behind. Then she could drop a hair dryer
here and a piano there (she'd have to do that subtly of course, stick
it in a corner so he wouldn't be tripping over it all the time), and
finally ease a closet full of clothes into place—just enough
for overnight visits. After living with Dominick, she didn't think she
ever wanted to move in with a man again on a live-in trial basis. They
could do enough premarital experimentation while she kept her house and
residence intact. It would be easier to make the break that way if
things didn't work out.
Lacey sat at her desk in the attic room and realized what
assumptions she was making. After only two days of knowing Rafe, she
was already planning on being a permanent fixture in his life. He
hadn't talked about old girlfriends, but chances were they were lurking
somewhere in the background, ready to emerge just when she would least
expect them.
Ease up
, she told herself.
Let
the man have some breathing room. He might not want you around all that
much
.
Lacey tried to put reins on her heart, which was leaping
and bounding. But it wasn't easy. He was too good to be true and she
wanted everything where he was concerned. But maybe she should sit down
and tell him that, maybe she should lay her own ground rules with him
and tell him she wanted nothing less than a complete relationship.
And blast it all, she loved him, after two days. No,
really a week, she corrected herself. She had had a week to get to know
him from his letters and from his friends before she had physically
seen him. That was just as effective a way—and in some ways
more so—of getting to know a person as meeting him
superficially in a crowded room.
So many of Rafe's friends couldn't be wrong about him when
they spoke so highly of him. Now that she had met him, she could see
why they felt so strongly about him. He had that effect on people. He
had that effect on women. How, she wondered, had she had the good
fortune to find him unattached? Or was he? Maybe he just didn't have
anyone special in Biloxi. There could be pining hearts all over the
world. The mere thought gave her a pang of jealousy.
Stop that
, she told herself.
He's
bound to have had love relationships in his past. He may again. You
have to give him that freedom to choose whom he wants to be with and
just hope it turns out to be you
. Holding a person against
his will wasn't loving. It was cruel and inhuman punishment, the way it
had been with her "trial marriage" to Dominick. He had held her to him
with mental manipulation. That had been almost stronger than ropes and
bonds.
One thing she knew for certain this morning. Next time he
asked, she would forfeit her last thirty-seven excuses and fall in love
with him. It was senseless to keep denying she wanted him when she
wanted everything about him. Maybe she never had gone to bed with any
man as quickly as this, but she had also never felt as strongly about
any man, not even after months of dating.
Lacey glanced at the clock. She'd been daydreaming for
hours about Rafe. It was almost lunchtime. What, she wondered, was he
doing for lunch? Where, in fact, could she get in touch with him? He
had told her about his management-consultant business in the most
general terms. She hadn't thought to ask him for a phone number or
address. She didn't even know how his business would be listed in the
phone book.