Malice in Wonderland (14 page)

"Then you wait for further notice," he answered simply with another shrug. His rebellious smile was still fully manifested. It was a smile that characterized Knight all too well; and the perfect example of how cocky he was. He seemed incapable of taking no for an answer, and could undress you with a simple glance.

"And what about you?"
I insisted.

"What about me?"

I shrugged, thinking the question was obvious and he was just delaying answering. He was just playing with me. "If I'm being relocated to a safer place, I hope you're also considering your own safety? It's not like you can go back to any of the compounds. I mean, I wasn't the only target when the Denali blew."

He smiled even more broadly, his eyes twinkling with undisguised mirth. "Wait a second, did I hear you correctly?" He pretended to clean out his ears. "So, does this mean you really do care about me?"

I shook my head and sighed, glancing down at the floor as I rubbed the back of my neck and felt sorry for myself. Why were things always a pain in the butt where Knight was concerned? Why couldn't things be easy?

When I looked up at him again, I wore the expression of someone far from amused. "Why do you always have to make everything so difficult?"

His smile faltered,
instantly
replaced by a frown as he folded his large arms against his chest. "Well, remembering how you told Erica to ‘have at me,’ I'm confused about where you and I stand ... and understandably, I might add."

I was in no mood to argue, nor to discuss the hot mess otherwise known as
what in the hell is going on between Knight and me
. "We're not getting into this right now," I answered, showing my intent to prove it by walking past him.

I didn't get far. He grabbed my upper arm and stopped me, his eyes imploring. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, but stood there with his fingers wrapped around my arm. I didn't say anything either. It was as if his touch had completely stolen my ability to form words. There
was
something between us. It was as obvious as the nervous energy working its way up my stomach.

He relaxed his fingers from around my arm and dropped his gaze from my eyes to the skin of my upper arm, gently stroking it as goose bumps erupted. When he glanced up at me, his eyes were dark pools, bottomless in their depths.

"I know I made a huge mistake and I know I hurt you," he said in a soft voice. I shook my head. I could hear a loud voice shouting that I didn't have the time or the stamina to get into this right now. But he interrupted me. "I know that whatever happened between us can't be wiped away,
Dulcie
; and believe me when I tell you that I regret it more than I've ever regretted anything in my life." He dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head, sighing as he thought about it.

"Good, I'm glad," I said and pulled my arm from his grasp, trying to convince myself that this air of detached indifference was really and truly how I felt. But I was smart enough to realize I wasn't detached or indifferent where
Knight was concerned. Instead, there was something inside me that kept screaming at me to never trust Knight again, to never ever find myself in this position again. There was something inside me that insisted the only person I could truly rely on was
myself
.

"Something has to give, though,
Dulce
," he said, bringing his face up close to mine, so close that I could feel his breath fanning against my cheek.

"Nothing has to give."

"I know you don't hate me," he started.

"No, I don't hate you."

"And there are moments when I can tell you aren't thinking about the past—moments when you and I are just ... us."

I couldn't deny the truth in his statement. I mean, it wasn't like I was constantly rehashing the past, and reliving everything that ever transpired between us. I didn't even think that was possible. "There's a lot that's going on right now, Knight. I've got lots more on my mind than nostalgia from the past."

He nodded as he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. I felt something within me thawing, and I had to keep myself from touching him. I had to tamp down the thoughts that raged inside my addled head, thoughts that urged me to reach out and feel how hot and smooth his skin was ... thoughts that told me to touch his lips, feel the hot wetness of his
tongue ...

"God, just being around you does something to me," he whispered. His eyes started to glow a fiercely possessive white. "I hope you know that this ... this silence between us is killing me."

I gulped, propping my hands on my hips. I was suddenly overcome with anger because I didn't like
awakening
old urges and needs. Just as something primal and passionate was emerging from
him,
it was also emerging within me. Even now, it seemed as if I were drowning in my own sea of need.

"I don't know what to tell you, Knight." My voice was harsh and cold.

"Tell me we can move on," he said quickly as he reached out to touch me again. Knowing what that meant, I took a step back. His hands dropped to his sides. "Tell me things between us can be the way they were before." He paused for three seconds and just stared at me. "I will never doubt you again,
Dulcie
, and I swear to you that I will never hurt you again." He swallowed. "Tell me you forgive me."

I hesitated, but then shook my head, knowing I wasn't ready for this; I still hadn't fully examined my own thoughts on this subject. "I can't."

He started to say something, but thought better of it and cleared his throat instead. Suddenly, panicking and nauseous, I couldn't fight the urge to flee, to get as far away from this room and Knight as I could. With my heart in my throat, I lurched forward again. I felt the cold of the doorknob on my palm,
feeling like I was
in slow motion as I turned it. I could think about nothing but escaping.

Knight's voice stopped me.

"I will make this up to you,
Dulcie
. I will prove to you that you can trust me again."

"Knight," I started, but he shook his head, his eyes hard.

"I love you."

It felt like my feet were suddenly mired in heavy tar. My breathing had been escalating so quickly that I started to hyperventilate and now I couldn't catch my breath. I felt suddenly light-headed, my chest constricted and tight. I closed my eyes and released the doorknob, suddenly feeling a sharp pain in my palms as I dug my fingernails into them. Without another word, I extricated my feet from their invisible binds and forced myself through the door.

TEN

Not surprisingly, the drive to my new digs was quiet and completely uncomfortable. I mean,
I’d just attempted
that whole escape act after hearing Knight tell me he loved me, so things weren't exactly cheery in the
Dulcie
-Knight camp. To defend my actions, though, I never wanted to get into the conversation in the first place. There was still just too much up in the air regarding The Resistance and my father. And let us also not forget that in the course of the last six hours or so, I'd been the unfortunate victim of the Denali detonation in which I came way too close to turning into a fairy shish-kebab, only to learn that the killer was one of our own. So as far as my guilt was concerned, if the truth be told, I wasn't really feeling
any
mainly because there wasn't any more space in my already overwhelmed head.

Luckily for me though, Knight didn't say another word. He just sat behind the steering wheel and looked ... glum. Yes, something within me told me I should have said something, or at least made small talk. But at this point, I figured small talk would be more of a slap in the face than silence, so I chose silence. Besides, I had a splitting headache and wasn't in a talking mood anyway.

Instead, we both quietly listened to the navigation in the Suburban as it barked out, "take a right turn here" and "take a left just ahead." How it even knew where we were was a shocker in and of
itself
, considering we were still in the middle of BFE. Furthermore, the locations of these Resistance compounds were on a need-to-know basis only and I couldn't imagine Garmin or Tom
Tom
needed to know. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, though, I realized that the navigation unit was no doubt “charmed” as were most things supplied by The Resistance.

We'd left the library about an hour earlier and were now driving down an unmarked highway that seemed to stretch into oblivion. As we crested the only hill
y
et, I noticed the highway T-boned into a dead end. We had to go right or left. The
nav
unit ordered us to make a left turn, so we did. Once we took the left, the entire car wobbled like a tightrope walker in a high wind on a faulty wire. Seconds later, we were no longer on the lone highway that stretched for miles with nothing but the early morning sun to greet us. Instead, we were suddenly plunged into the midst of a dark forest, complete with traces of moonlight that lit up the interior of the car through the heavy branches. It took me a second or two to realize what just happened, but before I could speak, Knight did.

"That must have been a portal," he said simply, as if it
were
no surprise at all and the news was so humdrum that it didn’t even require
commenting
.

"So what do we do now?" I asked as I glanced around myself and realized I couldn't see anything beyond the trunks of the seemingly never ending trees. The moonlight cast eerie shadows that soon became great, hulking trolls and monsters.

"Looks like driving is out of the question."

I agreed, considering there was now a huge pine tree directly in front of us that even a forty-point turn couldn't allow us to weave our way around.

"So?"

He didn't respond, but faced the navigation with concern all over his face.

"You will finish the remainder of your journey on foot," the thing said in that same highfalutin’, accent-free sort of way. "Step out of the vehicle. Walk forward three paces; make a ninety-degree turn to your right, and walk forward six paces."

Knight reached forward to remove the navigation device from its holder, which was suction-cupped to the windshield. Turning toward me with a sigh, he raised his eyebrows in a rendition of "What other choice do we have?" I nodded as I undid my seatbelt. I tried to open the door, but found it butted up against another tree, leaving me maybe two feet of clearance to wiggle out. Luckily, I was small enough to squeeze my way through.

"You could have crawled out on my side," Knight offered as soon as I worked my way free of the door and jumped to the ground in front of him.

"And miss that daring adventure?" I asked, forcing a smile even as I wondered if things between us would ever again feel comfortable. I wasn’t at all okay with how things now were, but I also couldn't imagine things improving—not anytime soon anyway.

Knight didn't say anything, but glanced down at the
nav
again. The moist smell of the forest infiltrated my nostrils as I leaned up on my tiptoes and eyed the device in his hands. It revealed a road map view of a forest, which I
figure
d was the forest we were now in, and the X in the center must have marked our current position. There was a red arrow pointing straight ahead, which
then
veered to the right.

The sounds of crickets and frogs were thick in the air as I took a step forward, my shoes squeaking against the mossy undergrowth. "Three paces, huh?" I asked with a slightly hesitant smile.

"Guess so," Knight answered, and together, we took three steps forward, just like the
nav
instructed.

"Prepare to make a ninety-degree right," the voice called out, apparently satisfied with our obedience.

Neither of us said anything as we turned to our right and took six steps forward. Knight's gait was obviously much longer than mine, so I did my best to keep up with him before the thought occurred to me that maybe the six strides specified were referencing a normal-sized person, not a shrimp like me, or a giant like Knight. But, I guess I'd just have to find out the hard way if and when the portal didn't open.

"You will now have exactly three seconds each to cross over," the navigation said with detached authority.

Knight glanced at me and
nodded,
a dark smile on his lips that seemed to match the muddied expression in his now navy blue eyes.
"Ladies first."

"Thanks," I grumbled, thinking in this case, I'd prefer ladies second. But I didn't argue and, instead, thrust myself forward, just like I'd done every other time I had to travel via portals. I felt the difference in the air almost immediately. The now familiar feel of balmy air that was both thick and heavy, hugged me like an old friend. Before I could take another breath or blink, I felt myself slipping through the air. A second or so later, I unceremoniously landed on my ass, shrouded in cold. I caught a glimpse of my surroundings—a smallish room, painted black with thick, black carpeting to match. A yellowish glow emitted from a floor lamp in the corner—the only furniture in the room. The scent of something foreign, but clean and crisp, stung my nose, but before I could take stock of anything else, I remembered Knight. I managed to roll out of the way just as he came through the portal, landing in exactly the same spot I'd previously occupied.
Talk about a close call!

"Well, well, well," came the aristocratic voice from behind me. "Look what the portal dragged in."

I turned to see him, although I recognized his voice before he came into view.

"You've
gotta
be fucking kidding me," Knight said as he lurched to his feet and he settled his eyes on Bram.

"I am quite overjoyed to see you as well, Vander," Bram said with a polished smile as he slapped his hands together artfully, and approached us from the far side of the room. Glancing around, I realized my first hunch was correct—there wasn't any furniture in the room aside from the floor lamp. I figured the room must have been dedicated to portal travel, given how landings could sometimes be ...
unpredictable,
and furniture might prove to be dangerous.

Knight ran his hands through his hair as he cracked his knuckles and scowled at our vampire host. I managed to stand up, my heartbeat in my throat. It took maybe another few seconds for the shock to wear off and as soon as it did so, the reason for why we were here dawned on me.

"What the hell was Christina thinking?" Knight continued, still glaring at Bram, even though the question was directed at me ... I think.

"It makes total sense," I said simply, although I was awed and amazed by how smart this move actually was. I turned to face Knight and noticed him studying me quizzically. "If the offender is one of our own, Christina figured that I'd be safer somewhere they would never expect to find me."

"Yes, quite so," Bram said, nodding vehemently as he eyed Knight, as if he presumed the Loki were slow. "As I am neither a member of The Resistance nor a foe," (he said as his eyes rested on me), "you would do well to find yourself under my roof,
Dulcie
, sweet." Then, narrowing his eyes at Knight, he added, "And please note, my dear Loki, that my invitation of hospitality only extends to the fairer of our sex."

Knight frowned. "Of course it does, Bram." He gritted his teeth. "But as to whether or not I'll accept your invitation on behalf of our fairer sex—it remains to be seen."

Bram held his long fingers in front of him as he appeared to inspect them, something he always did for added drama, and something
which
absolutely drove me nuts. He didn't say anything, though, so I took the opportunity from him.

"Knight, I can take care of myself," I spat out, suddenly angry. I
wasn’t sure
whether I was more irritated by Knight's display of machismo or Bram's obsession with his damned nails. Men could be so frustratingly exhausting.

"Well said, my dear, well said," the vampire finally spoke before turning his stringent gaze on Knight and addressing him pointedly. "You would not want to contradict any command from your superior, would you?"

"Enough, Bram," I snapped before turning to face Knight. "I'll be fine here. It's short term, anyway."

"I'm not convinced you're going to be fine," Knight answered. "We could be making a big mistake. You have no protection here—no soldiers patrolling, no barbed wire fencing, no guards, nothing."

"None of those things mattered a damn anyway
," I argued. "I had all of those things
on base and look what good it did! Someone still managed to sabotage the Denali."

"And as to Sweet's protection, I am
most certainly
considered a formidable ally, but an even more formidable enemy," Bram piped up, apparently insulted by the idea that Knight had little faith in his skills.

"Against an army of Melchior's men, you are nothing," Knight
spat
back at him, his eyes raging.

"It might please you to know," Bram continued, in a level tone as he faced me and turned his back on Knight, "your leader has graced my quarters as an estimable guest, more than once." Then he turned to face Knight again. "And I do believe if the leader of The Resistance finds sanctuary beneath my roof, it should be deemed safe by anyone else’s accounts!"

I couldn't say my mind was focused on Bram's question, though. Instead, I was still stuck on the point he made about Christina staying with him. I had to wonder which quarters he was referring to—a random room in his house or his own private bedroom
quarters?
Somehow, I didn't want to know the answer.

"That doesn't change the fact that I don't trust you, Bram," Knight spat back.

"And yet you trusted me enough with our
Dulcie
sweet while we were in the Netherworld on your business?"

"It was hardly Knight's business," I grumbled but Knight interrupted me, his eyes narrowed and his jaw tight.

"I had no choice in the matter. I was in prison, if you recall."

Bram made a big show of exhaling a pent-up breath, as if he were too busy to bother himself with the mundane, trivial details of Knight's whereabouts in the Netherworld. "At any rate, I was given express instructions to ensure that Sweet receive a comfortable shelter and bed on which to lay her pretty head in preparation for tomorrow's activities," Bram finished.

"What does that mean?" Knight demanded, his tone becoming increasingly agitated.

Bram simply shook his head and dropped his eyes onto his fingernails again. "It is not for me to repeat, Loki," he said simply. "That information must come from your leader, herself." Then he turned to face me with a polished smile. "Now, if you will excuse us, I must insist on showing Sweet to her bedchamber; and rest assured, I will protect Sweet and guarantee her safety in whatever way becomes necessary."