Malice in Wonderland (25 page)

Knight raised a brow. “Once you run out of dragon bullets, use the
KG
. There should be enough
Kraken
in it to last the evening.”

I eyed the
KG
and suddenly had the very concerning image of the nasty intestinal fluid coming into contact with my skin and turning me into a
Kraken
. “Um, where should I put it so I don’t come into contact with the fluid?”

Knight shrugged. “There are no traces of fluid on the gun. There’s a one-way chamber that shoots out only so you’re safe. Just put it in your holster.”

I eyed him squarely. “You’re sure?”

“I already told you I have no interest in bedding a
Kraken
. You’re safe.”

I decided to ignore that last comment and instead turned to the fact that Knight had just given me his weapon so what in the hell was he planning on defending himself with?  “What are you going to use?”

He smiled. “I was going to ask you if you’d mind
magicking
me a
sword?
” He paused for a moment and narrowed his eyes. “I’m thinking something long, 100% silver with a thick blade.”

I threw my hands on my hips. “Would you like fries with that?”

“Get on it,
Dulce
,” he said and motioned toward the graveyard, as if reminding me I had better things to do than
construct
smart ass retorts. I shrugged and shook my palm until a mound of dust emerged. Then I opened my palm and blew the ethereal particles at Knight, closing my eyes as I imagined a sword to the specifications he’d just mentioned. When I opened my eyes, Knight was holding the impressive sword, slicing the air with it as he tried it on for size.

“Not bad.”

Now, back to the problem of protecting myself against the ghoul funk to which I now added the
Kraken
funk as well. Before I had the chance to ponder creating another fistful of fairy dust, Knight was suddenly disrobing. I watched him in amazement, wondering what the hell had just gotten into him that he would start stripping.  He unbuttoned his shirt, then pulled off his undershirt and handed them both to me. I tried not to focus on the ripples of muscle that echoed his movements and instead glanced at him with questioning eyes.

“Um, what the hell are you doing?”

“Put my shirts on—they’ll protect you against the ghoul slime.”

I started to shake my head. “I was just going to
magick
myself a long sleeve shirt. Thanks for the offer though.” I cocked a brow. “Besides, I wouldn’t want you to catch cold.”

He smiled and it was a smile that overflowed with
self assuredness
. “I can’t catch anything. Put the shirts on—they’ll protect you better than anything you create for yourself.”

I glanced at the shirts in my hand and tried to make sense of his statement. A light blue button down and a white tee-shirt—they looked like regular XL shirts to me, but, for all I knew, maybe they were reinforced with ghoul repellant. “What, does
Loki
sweat protect against ghoul slime?”

He nodded. “Something
like
that.”

One more thing I forgot to mention about Knight and his being a
Loki
is that I have no idea what powers
Loki
s
possess since Knight is the only one I know of. Furthermore, Knight finds it amusing to keep all the powers he does possess to
himself
so it’s like a treasure hunt trying to discover them all. And now I had one more talent I could add to the ever growing list.

I shrugged and tore off my jacket, dropping it into a heap at the base of the
Daiseyville
gates. I pulled Knight’s tee-shirt over my head and glanced down at myself with a frown. It looked like I was wearing a dress. Well, I wasn’t going to win any fashion awards tonight but no matter, if I could manage to keep the ghoul funk off me, I’d consider it a good night.

“And the button down,” Knight reminded me.
“Never can be too safe.”

I nodded and pushed my arms through the sleeves while Knight started rolling up the cuffs so the thing fit me better. Once I’d buttoned up the shirt and he’d rolled up both sleeves, he studied me for a moment or two, his eyes dancing.

“I like the sight of you in my clothes.”

I frowned. “Yeah, well, don’t get any ideas.” Before he could respond, I glanced at
Daiseyville
which was now overrun with ghouls—all bumping into one another like a bunch of drunks. I looked back at Knight and watched him lean over and dig a fistful of dirt from the ground. He stood up and I was about to question him when he shook his head and appeared to be moving his cheeks like he was swishing mouthwash.

“What in the hell are you doing?” I demanded.

He didn’t say anything but continued swishing and then finally leaned over and spit a wad into the dirt, mixing it into a nasty dirt-spit paste. That was when I realized what he intended to do with it.

“No way,” I started, backing up.

“
Dulce
, your face is unprotected and so are your hands.”

He had a point but still, a mask of mud and spit? No thanks. “I’ll think of something else.”

“We don’t have time.”

Realizing he had a point, and that I had to let him mud me, I opened my eyes again and frowned. “Hurry the hell up.”

Knight laughed and began pasting me with the spit
mud,
until I’m sure I looked like a dirt demon. He stepped back as if admiring his handiwork and then set to dirtying up the tops of my hands. After a few more seconds, he wiped the excess on his jeans and faced me with a big smile.

“You ready to get this ghoul show on the road?”

I returned my attention to the graveyard and watched a skeleton and a ghoul attempting to climb on top of one another to make it over the fence. “Roger that. Looks like our tenants are getting restless.”

Knight smiled.
“After you, my incredibly sexy lady.”

I swallowed down a retort and fingered the Op 6 in my palm. I wasn’t nervous although adrenalin was coursing through me. I hadn’t done any ANC business for a while; hopefully my skills weren’t rusty. We both approached the graveyard and stopped just outside the gates.

“Might as well take these guys out first,” Knight said and without further ado, he began walking along the fence, hoisting his blade above his head and repeatedly decapitating both the ghouls and skeletons alike. The bodies
tumbled to the ground and the next line of undead replaced them, receiving the same treatment at the end of Knight’s blade. I figured I’d just wait for him to finish up before I wasted my dragon bullets.

After the third line of ghouls and skeletons were decapitated, the remaining thirty or so had apparently gotten wise to Knight’s scheme and headed for the center of the graveyard, away from us. That was our cue to go after them. Knight grabbed hold of the fence and hoisted himself over, looking like some legendary warrior going to slay the enemy, wearing only a pair of worn blue jeans and a smile. When he safely landed on the other side, he perused his surroundings and, apparently convinced there were no ghouls immediately threatening, leaned his sword against the fence and motioned for me to come.

There was no way I, with my 5’1 frame and short legs, was going to be able to leap the fence like freaking
Sea Biscuit
. So, much as I didn’t want to, I accepted Knight’s help. He grasped my waist and lifted me over the fence as if I weighed nothing at all, depositing me on the ground in front of him. He didn’t remove his hands but, instead, pulled me close and smiled down at me.

“I’ll have you know that I will still get that kiss from you.”

“Oh my God, would you get over yourself?” I demanded. “You have a graveyard full of ghouls to kill or have you forgotten?”

He released me and reached for his sword. “Oh, I haven’t forgotten,
Dulce
, but I also keep a tally on things owed me.” He
paused
a minute and seemed to be scanning the graveyard before him. Seemingly pleased with the number of ghouls retreating to the western end of the graveyard, he started in that direction and I followed him.

“You wanted to kiss me, I could see it in your eyes,” he continued.

“Don’t you think it would be a good idea to focus right now?”  I demanded. “I really don’t want to end up a ghoul’s dinner.”

He glanced back at me and shook his head. “You won’t be—not on my watch.”

A ghoul appeared to be hiding behind a craggy oak tree just before us and Knight walked around the tree, hurling his sword in the air before bringing it down.  I grimaced at the sound it made—like a hammer hitting a watermelon. The ghoul’s head rolled out from behind the tree and I nearly walked into it.

“And, anyway, I’m a
multitasker
,” Knight said with a smile, resting the enormous sword against his shoulder as he continued on like nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. “I can decapitate and engage in sexy talk at the same time.”

“Well, I’m not and won’t,” I snapped and sensing movement near an imposing tomb just beside me, I threw my back against the tomb wall and tried to detect where the sound was coming from. Knight followed suit. The tomb was high—maybe ten feet tall by ten feet wide and the sounds of rustling in the undergrowth and the uneven hobbling of the undead interrupted the peaceful quiet of the graveyard. The cold of the cement sunk through both of Knight’s shirts and chilled me to the core. I tried not to shiver but couldn’t keep it at bay. 

“They’re at the other end,” I whispered even though I didn’t have to—ghouls have terrible hearing.

“You go one way and I’ll go the other and we’ll circle them,” Knight answered and I nodded, starting forward. I crept around to the back of the tomb, trailing my hand against the cold wall. I paused momentarily as I held my Op 6 out before me, then pivoted on my toes and faced the four ghouls and one skeleton at the same time Knight did. The ghouls just stood there dumbly while the skeleton limped back and forth, holding its foot in its hand. It must have been the one that had been making the hobbling sound. Knight didn’t allow the ghouls any time for reaction and hefted the sword from his shoulder,
arcing
it before bringing it down in a clean, fluid motion. He cleaved off two of the ghoul’s heads while I fired at the other two, taking them both down.
That just left the skeleton and before I had the chance to say “boo
”, Knight had decapitated him too.

“It’s a shame about the skeletons,” Knight said as he wiped the entrails of ghoul goo off on his jeans. I checked myself and was relieved to see no goo or funk had made its way near me.

“What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “They don’t pose much of a risk. They don’t leak toxic goo everywhere. If anything, they’re just guilty of being unpleasant to look at.”

I nodded. “You have a point. Anyway, they’ll be dead soon enough. They have maybe another two hours of life left. So, maybe we focus on the ghouls and just ensure the skeletons don’t escape.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He paused for a moment and appeared to be studying me. “That mud is staying nicely.”

I’d forgotten about the spit mud all over my face. “Thanks for reminding me.”

He didn’t respond but started forward, the moonlight reflecting against his hair until it looked like it was almost blue. Knight was by far the deadliest creature in the graveyard and I was suddenly very pleased that he was on my side. With his immense height, broad stature and
Loki
abilities, he’d easily defeat me. Shaking off such thoughts, I started after him when I heard a ruckus from just behind me. I glanced around and felt my stomach drop
as a shard of fear traveled through me. There were maybe twenty ghouls and skeletons standing just behind me, separated by five paces.

“Knight,” I whispered, turning to face him before realizing he was nowhere to be found.
“Knight!”
I screamed louder and apparently awakened the ghouls because they scattered. Ghouls and skeletons aren’t capable of reason but it seemed as if they were capable of reason enough to realize I was alone because they suddenly stopped their scattering and looked at me. They watched me for a few seconds, as if unsure what to do next. Then a largish ghoul who looked like he could have been a football player in life, elbowed his way to the front of the crowd and started forward, moaning and dragging his foot behind him. The others followed suit and began making their uneven way towards me, rotting flesh dripping off their bodies. It was enough to make me retch right there. The skeletons continued to wander, tripping over tree roots and gravestones in their blind migration.

I held the Op 6 up against my face and then aimed, shooting Mr. Quarterback in the chest. He fell and three others surged forward. The Op 6 took them out easily with the dragon blood bullets. Dragon’s blood is lethal to any Netherworld creatures. And to the undead, Dragon’s blood is even more powerful—the ghouls dropped to the ground and any life in them dissipated instantly. Good as that might have been, I was out of ammunition so the Op 6 was basically useless to me. I tossed the gun to the ground and grabbed the
KG
from my waist holster. My hands shook as I aimed it, pulling the trigger. The yellow liquid squirted angrily and missed the ghoul before me by mere inches. That was when I remembered I was supposed to hold the trigger down only partially, so I could get a read on how far away the ghouls were. Problem was, I didn’t really have the space
nor
the time to get a read. I had to get them dead.