CANDIDA [
explaining
] If he learns it from a good woman, then it will be all right: he will forgive me.
MORELL Forgive!
CANDIDA But suppose he learns it from a bad woman, as so many men do, especially poetic men, who imagine all women are angels! Suppose he only discovers the value of love when he has thrown it away and degraded himself in his ignorance. Will he forgive me then, do you think?
MORELL Forgive you for what?
CANDIDA
[realizing how stupid he is, and a little disappointed, though quite tenderly so] Don't you understand? [He shakes his head. She turns to him again, so as to explain with the fondest intimacy.] I mean,
will he forgive me for not teaching him myself? For abandoning him to the bad women for the sake of my goodness-my purity, as you call it? Ah, James, how little you understand me, to talk of your confidence in my goodness and purity! I would give them both to poor Eugene as willingly as I would give my shawl to a beggar dying of cold, if there were nothing else to restrain me. Put your trust in my love for you, James, for if that went, I should care very little for your sermons-mere phrases that you cheat yourself and others with every day.
[She is about to rise.
]
MORELL H i s words!
CANDIDA
[checking herself quickly in the act of getting up, so that she is on her knees, but upright]
Whose words?
MORELL Eugene's.
CANDIDA
[delighted]
He is always right. He understands you; he understands me; he understands Prossy; and you, James-you understand nothing. [
She laughs, and
kisses
him to console him. He recoils as if stung, and springs up. ]
MORELL How can you bear to do that when-oh, Candida
[with anguish in his voice]
I had rather you had plunged a grappling iron into my heart than given me that kiss.
CANDIDA [rising,
alarmed
] My dear: what's the matter?
MORELL [
frantically waving her off
] Don't touch me.
CANDIDA
[amazed]
James!
[They are interrupted by the entrance of
MARCHBANKS,
with
BURGESS,
who stops near the door, staring, whilst
EUGENE
hurries forward between them.]
MARCHBANKS Is anything the matter?
MORELL
[deadly white, putting an iron constraint on himself]
Nothing but this: that either you were right this morning, or Candida is mad.
BURGESS
[in loudest protest]
Wot! Candy mad too! Oh, come, come, come!
[He crosses the room to the fireplace, protesting as he goes, and knocks the ashes out of his pipe on the bars. MORELL sits down desperately, leaning forward to hide his face, and interlacing his fingers rigidly to keep them steady.
]
CANDIDA [
to MORELL, relieved and laughing]
Oh, you're only shocked! Is that all? How conventional all you unconventional people are!
BURGESS Come: beâave yourself, Candy. What'll Mr. Morchbanks think of you?
CANDIDA This comes of James teaching me to think for myself, and never to hold back out of fear of what other people may think of me. It works beautifully as long as I think the same things as he does. But now, because I have just thought something different!âlook at himâjust look!
[She points to MORELL, greatly amused.
EUGENE
looks, and instantly presses his hand on his heart, as if some deadly pain had shot through it, and sits down on the sofa like a man witnessing a tragedy.]
BURGESS
[on the hearth-rug]
Well, James, you certainly ain't as himpressive lookin' as usuâl.
MORELL
[with a laugh which is half a sob]
I suppose not. I beg all your pardons: I was not conscious of making a fuss.
[Pulling himself together.]
Well, well, well, well, well!
[He goes back to his place at the table, setting to work at his papers again with resolute cheerful
ness. ]
CANDIDA
[going to the sofa and sitting beside
MARCHBANKS,
still in a bantering humor]
Well, Eugene, why are you so sad? Did the onions make you cry?
[MORELL
cannot prevent himself from watching them.]
MARCHBANKS [
aside to her]
It is your cruelty. I hate cruelty. It is a horrible thing to see one person make another suffer.
CANDIDA
[petting him ironically]
Poor boy, have I been cruel? Did I make it slice nasty little red onions?
MARCHBANKS [
earnestly
] Oh, stop, stop: I don't mean myself. You have made him suffer frightfully. I feel his pain in my own heart. I know that it is not your faultâit is something that must happen; but don't make light of it. I shudder when you torture him and laugh.
CANDIDA
(incredulously] I
torture James! Nonsense, Eugene: how you exaggerate! Silly!
[She looks round at MORELL, who hastily resumes his writing. She goes to him and stands behind his chair, bending over him.
] Don't work any more, dear. Come and talk to us.
MORELL
[affectionately but bitterly]
Ah no: I can't talk. I can only preach.
CANDIDA
[caressing him]
Well, come and preach.
BURGESS [
strongly remonstrating
] Aw, no, Candy. âAng it all! [
LEXY MILL comes in, looking anxious and important.]
LEXY
[hastening to shake hands with
CANDIDA] How do you do, Mrs. Morell? So glad to see you back again.
CANDIDA Thank you, Lexy. You know Eugene, don't you?
LEXY Oh, yes. How do you do, Marchbanks?
MARCHBANKS Quite well, thanks.
LEXY [to MORELL] I've just come from the Guild of St. Matthew. They are in the greatest consternation about your telegram. There's nothing wrong, is there?
CANDIDA What did you telegraph about, James?
LEXY [to CANDIDA] He was to have spoken for them tonight. They've taken the large hall in Mare Street and spent a lot of money on posters. Morell's telegram was to say he couldn't come. It came on them like a thunderbolt.
CANDIDA
[surprized, and beginning to suspect something wrong]
Given up an engagement to speak!
BURGESS First time in his life, I'll bet. Ain' it, Candy?
LEXY [to MORELL] They decided to send an urgent telegram to you asking whether you could not change your mind. Have you received it?
MORELL
[with restrained impatience]
Yes, yes: I got it.
LEXY It was reply paid.
MORELL Yes, I know. I answered it. I can't go.
CANDIDA But why, James?
MORELL [
almost fiercely
] Because I don't choose. These people forget that I am a man: they think I am a talking machine to be turned on for their pleasure every evening of my life. May I not have one night at home, with my wife, and my friends?
[They are all amazed at this outburst, except
EUGENE.
His expression remains unchanged.
]
CANDIDA Oh, James, you know you'll have an attack of bad conscience to-morrow; and
I
shall have to suffer for that.
LEXY
[intimidated, but urgent]
I know, of course, that they make the most unreasonable demands on you. But they have been telegraphing all over the place for another speaker: and they can get nobody but the President of the Agnostic League.
MORELL [
promptly
] Well, an excellent man. What better do they want?
LEXY But he always insists so powerfully on the divorce of Socialism from Christianity. He will undo all the good we have been doing. Of course you know best;
but-[He hesitates.]
CANDIDA [
coaxingly
] Oh, d o go, James. We'll all go.
BURGESS
[grumbling]
Look âere, Candy! I say! Let's stay at home by the fire, comfortable. He won't need to be more'n a couple-o' -hour away.
CANDIDA You'll be just as comfortable at the meeting. We'll all sit on the platform and be great people.
EUGENE [
terrified
] Oh, please don't let us go on the platform. Noâeveryone will stare at usâI couldn't. I'll sit at the back of the room.
CANDIDA Don't be afraid. They'll be too busy looking at James to notice you.
MORELL
[turning his head and looking meaningly at her over his shoul
der] Prossy's complaint, Candida! Eh?
CANDIDA [
gaily
] Yes.
BURGESS [
mystified
] Prossy's complaint. Wot are you talking about, James?
MORELL
[not heeding him, rises; goes to the door; and holds it open, shouting in a commanding voice]
Miss Garnett.
PROSERPINE [in the distance]
Yes, Mr. Morell. Coming.
[They all wait, except BURGESS, who goes stealthily to LEXY and draws him aside.
]
BURGESS Listen here, Mr. Mill. Wot's Prossy's complaint? Wot's wrong with er?
LEXY
[confidentially]
Well, I don't exactly know; but she spoke very strangely to me this morning. I'm afraid she's a little out of her mind sometimes.
BURGESS [
overwhelmed
] Why, it must be catchinâ! Four in the same 'ouse!
[He goes back to the hearth, quite lost before the instability of the human intellect in a clergyman's
house.]
PROSERPINE
[appearing on the threshold]
What is it, Mr. Morell?
MORELL Telegraph to the Guild of St. Matthew that I am coming.
PROSERPINE
[surprised]
Don't they expect you?
MORELL [
peremptorily
] Do as I tell you. [PROSERPINE
frightened, sits down at her typewriter, and obeys.
MORELL
goes across to
BURGESS, CANDIDA
watching his movements all the time with growing wonder and misgiving.
]
MORELL Burgess: you don't want to come?
BURGESS
[in deprecation]
Oh, don't put it like that, James. It's only that it ain't Sunday, you know.
MORELL I'm sorry. I thought you might like to be introduced to the chairman. He's on the Works Committee of the County Council and has some influence in the matter of contracts.
[BURGESS wakes up at once. MORELL, expecting as much, waits a moment, and says]
Will you come?
BURGESS
[with enthusiasm]
Course I'll come, James. Ain' it always a pleasure to âear you.
MORELL [
turning from him]
I shall want you to take some notes at the meeting, Miss Garnett, if you have no other engagement.
[She nods, afraid to speak.]
You are coming, Lexy, I suppose.
LEXY Certainly.
CANDIDA We are all coming, James.
MORELL No: you are not coming; and Eugene is not coming. You will stay here and entertain himâto celebrate your return home. [EUGENE
rises, breathless.]
CANDIDA But Jamesâ
MORELL [
authoritatively
] I insist. You do not want to come; and he does not want to come. [CANDIDA is
about to protest
.] Oh, don't concern yourselves: I shall have plenty of people without you: your chairs will be wanted by unconverted people who have never heard me before.
CANDIDA
[troubled]
Eugene: wouldn't you like to come?
MORELL I should be afraid to let myself go before Eugene: he is so critical of sermons.
[Looking at him.]
He knows I am afraid of him: he told me as much this morning. Well, I shall shew him how much afraid I am by leaving him here in your custody, Candida.
MARCHBANKS [to
himself with vivid feeling
] That's brave. That's beautiful.
[He sits down again listening with parted lips.]
CANDIDA
[with anxious misgiving
] ButâbutâIs anything the matter, James?
[Greatly troubled.]
I can't understandâ
MORELL Ah, I thought it was I who couldn't understand, dear.
[He takes her tenderly in his arms and kisses her on the forehead; then looks round quietly at MARCHBANKS.
]
ACT III
Late in the evening. Past ten. The curtains are drawn, and the lamps lighted. The typewriter is in its case; the large table has been cleared and tidied; everything indicates that the day's work is done.
CANDIDA
and MARCHBANKS are seated at the fire. The reading lamp is on the mantelshelf above
MARCHBANKS,
who is sitting on the small chair reading aloud from a manuscript. A little pile of manuscripts and a couple of volumes of poetry are on the carpet beside him.
CANDIDA
is in the easy chair with the poker, a light brass one, upright in her hand. She is leaning back and looking at the point of it curiously, with her feet stretched towards the blaze and her heels resting on the fender, profoundly unconscious of her appearance and surroundings.
MARCHBANKS
[breaking off in his recitation
] Every poet that ever lived has put that thought into a sonnet. He must: he can't help it. [
He looks to her for assent, and notices her absorption in the poker.]
Haven't you been listening?
[No response.]
Mrs. Morell!
CANDIDA [
starting
] Eh?
MARCHBANKS Haven't you been listening?
CANDIDA [
with a guilty excess of politeness]
Oh, yes. It's very nice. Go on, Eugene. I'm longing to hear what happens to the angel.
MARCHBANKS [
crushed-the manuscript dropping from his hand to the floor
] I beg your pardon for boring you.
CANDIDA But you are not boring me, I assure you. Pleasego on. Do, Eugene.
MARCHBANKS I finished the poem about the angel quarter of an hour ago. I've read you several things since.
CANDIDA [
remorsefully
] I'm so sorry, Eugene. I think the poker must have fascinated me. [
She puts it down.
]