Man Made Boy (17 page)

S1ZZL3 AND SURELEE told me I shouldn’t let the stalker thing freak me out. But she knew where I lived, who I lived with. She even knew random things like the night I went to Stonewall. This Vi chick had to be spying on me, which meant she lived in the city somewhere. Was she a neighbor? Maybe she was even the neighbor with the meth lab, which made her dangerous as well as creepy. The walls were thin enough that whoever lived next door could probably hear everything we said without trying real hard.

The part that scared me the most was the “she has to go” comment about Liel. Of course, if this human chick actually tried to attack Liel, she’d regret it. The bigger danger was that Liel would get in trouble for kicking the shit out of her. What would happen if the cops arrested her? Would they think she was some kind of illegal alien because she didn’t have a social or birth certificate? Then, what if they put her in jail and I couldn’t get her out before the glamour wore off? It only lasted about twenty-four hours. Less if you were really upset and your pulse was running high, and if Liel was in jail, it probably would be. And what would happen if the cops realized she wasn’t just an illegal alien
but a troll? I pictured an NYPD raid on The Show, cops taking my parents away in handcuffs….

I stayed up waiting for Liel, but as I watched the sunlight creep in through the kitchen window, I realized she wasn’t coming home that night. It wasn’t unusual. Recently, she’d been out so late that she said it just made more sense to crash at her friend’s place in Manhattan. But now I started to worry even more. If this Vi knew that much about me, maybe she already knew what I was. And if so, maybe she knew what Liel was, too. Trowe weren’t indestructible, and there weren’t weird requirements to killing them like there were for werewolves or vampires. If Crazy Stalker Chick snuck up behind Liel and shot her, it wouldn’t matter that she was a fierce and mighty trowe. She would still bleed to death.

On my way to work the next day, I realized just how easy it would be for someone to follow me. Most of the time the city was crowded with humans, so it would be easy for her to hide among them. But since I was slightly taller than humans, she wouldn’t have to worry about losing me in a large group. I always stuck out.

It’s funny. After you’ve lived in the city for a little while, you get used to always being around people. Some New Yorkers are so used to it that they actually act like they’re alone, scratching themselves, picking their noses, muttering to themselves. I hadn’t gotten
that
bad, but I generally didn’t think about the people around me that much. They had become like background noise. But now I was suddenly hyperaware of all of them, as I walked down the sidewalk to my station, as I climbed the stairs to the subway platform suspended over the street. She could be right behind me and I wouldn’t know it. The platform was
packed with people, too. She could be any one of them. As the subway train made each stop, I tried to pay attention to who stayed in the car the whole time. But people were constantly getting on and off, so I lost track after a few stops.

When I got to work, Ralphie gave me a concerned look.

“You okay, Frank?” he asked.

“I guess.”

“You look kind of…I don’t know…upset.”

“Yeah.” I hung up my jacket in the corner. “There’s just a lot going on.”

“Things okay with your girl?”

“I think we’re going through a rough patch or something.” I put on my hairnet, apron, and gloves.

“So what’s the deal?” he asked.

“Uh, I guess her job is kind of consuming her right now.”

Ralphie shook his head. “Why is it the hot ones are always crazy?”

“
Your
girl is hot,” I said. He’d invited me to dinner last Christmas and I’d met his girlfriend and their kids. By human standards, she was really hot.

“Of course she’s hot. And she’s crazy, too!”

“But I mean, you’re happy, right?”

He shrugged. “Sure. Usually. But it’s a lot of work, you know.”

“I’m trying.”

“You
both
gotta try. Otherwise, it’s never gonna happen.”

“I know, I know.” I was pretty sure Liel wasn’t trying right now. But it was just something she was going through. I knew she’d come back around. “Hey, do you know if there’s a Vi who works here? Or maybe a Violet?”

“Nope. Although it’s funny you say that. Because I just got a friend request on Facebook from someone named Vi last night.”

“Oh,” I said, trying to keep my tone casual. “Did you accept it?”

“Of course. I’m a friendly guy. And the picture of her looked pretty hot. I might be taken, but there’s nothing wrong with lookin’.”

“So…what did she look like?”

“Tan skin, long, light blonde hair, these really intense pale blue-gray eyes. She was all long and lean, you know. Like a…”

“A dancer?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “A perfect dancer body.”

The fact that this had spread beyond some hearsay in a chat room shot the creepiness factor through the roof. I had to warn Liel that something was going on. Immediately.

“Do you think I could get down to St. Marks and back on my dinner break?” I asked.

“If you take a cab,” Ralphie said.

“Ugh.” Cabs were a lot more expensive than riding the subway. It was a luxury I almost never took. But I had to make sure Liel was okay. So as soon as my dinner break came, I tore off my gloves, hairnet, and apron, and bolted through the door. When I flagged down a cab, the driver gave me a nervous look until he saw the stitches, and then his face softened a little. I wondered what the difference was between humans who were disgusted by me and those who felt sorry for me. Not that either reaction was all that great.

“St. Marks, please,” I said.

“Sure thing, boss,” he said.

We got there in under ten minutes. Mostly because the cabby laid on his horn every time someone got in front of him, like he found it offensive, ramped a curb on one of his turns, and nearly hit someone on a bicycle. But the important thing was to warn Liel about Vi before something bad happened. So
even though I felt like I was about to throw up, I gave him a nice tip.

Temple looked like a pretty cool place. Japanese-American fusion or something. The space was narrow, with lots of black countertops and mellow lighting. Not too fancy, but definitely a little more than I could afford. An old Radiohead song leaked out of the speakers, sharp and cool, with just a hint of angst. The place was packed with East Village hipster types in trendy haircuts and vintage clothes. All the servers were females, and what humans would consider pretty. In fact, the whole place was just so pretty, I felt like I had stepped into an episode of one those TV shows I told Liel she should stop trying to live in. Now I understood why she was trying so hard.

Then I saw her. Even in her human glamour I could pick her out easily. She moved like liquid electricity, smooth and sleek, cutting effortlessly through space. She slid a bunch of plates onto a table full of guys all looking up at her like the food wasn’t what they’d come for. She flashed that human smile back at them and chatted with them for a moment before turning to another table. As she moved, our eyes met. I suddenly remembered our one and only date at The Show. When I’d come to get her in the dressing room and I’d been afraid she’d change her mind and pretend not to see me. I’d been so relieved when instead she’d smiled and waved.

But this time, it happened. She turned to another table of humans, as if I wasn’t there.

I stood in the doorway for a little longer, thinking maybe she really hadn’t seen me. But soon it was obvious she was purposefully avoiding looking in my direction, hoping that I would just go away.

So I did.

I SHOULD HAVE gone back to work. I was only on break, after all. If I caught a cab I’d have been back before the boss even noticed I was gone. But instead, I wandered around the East Village for a while. The streets were crowded, especially St. Marks. Everyone there was trying to be so cool or so strange. They didn’t know what “strange” really meant, though.

I was a big, nerdy lump of stitched-together dead body parts. How could I be so stupid, so deluded to think Liel would be into me? Shaun had been right after all. I could see his knowing smirk in my mind. The shame was so hot in my stomach it felt like it was going to burn a hole through and spill out onto the sidewalk. I wanted to escape. To get away from everyone and everything.

There’s something about walking in New York City, alone, without a destination. At first, it feels like there are too many people on the sidewalk. They slow you down, get in the way. But after a little while, you find the rhythm of the city. You start navigating around people without thinking, slipping between groups, stepping along the curb, shifting between parking meters, and even occasionally stepping out into the street. If you try to fight the city head on, it will pulverize you. So you have to adjust yourself to accommodate it. The harder it gets, the more flexible you get, until you feel like you’re just a part of it. Then you hit a flow, everything opens up, and it becomes easy.

That’s how it felt as I walked. I lost myself completely to the city. I didn’t think or feel, I just moved with the current of people and objects until sometime later I realized I had walked fifty-two blocks to the Queensboro Bridge. I thought about catching the
train at that point, but then decided I’d come this far, I might as well walk the whole way home.

By the time I got to the apartment, my feet were killing me. I practically fell down onto the couch. In my exhaustion, I let myself remember that image of Liel turning away from me. But it felt like a weight pressing down on me, crushing me into the cushions, and I decided I still wasn’t ready to deal with it. For a second, I wished I could disconnect. Just for a little while, a break from all this emotion. But that was Dad’s way of coping, not mine. Plus, I didn’t have anyone to put the clamps on my nerves.

I jacked into my computer, hoping surelee and s1zzl3 would take my mind off things. Or at least make me feel like I wasn’t quite so alone.

Neither of them was online, but someone else was.

I could hear my pulse pounding in my temples as I stared at the message. I thought about disconnecting. But what if that pissed her off and she went crazy or something?