Man of Honor (Battle Scars) (11 page)

“Mea.” My eyes look to his, startled at the sandpaper tone in his deep voice. “Get on my ride.”

My eyebrows fly up. “What?”

“Get on. I won the bet. That’s what I want. You behind me on this four-wheeler.”

Oh, hell.
The usual Mea would never allow a man to order her around. The usual Mea would usually tell him exactly what he could do with his bet and turn my back. But with Drake, I don’t want to be the usual Mea.

The usual Mea is lonely, deep down. She doesn’t let anyone get close enough to see the profound slices that mar her heart and the war wounds that afflict her soul. The usual Mea gets by with shallow, surface emotions that are usually enough to fool those around her and deflects questions that get too personal, cut too deep.

But that Mea is bone weary, and Drake is slowly wearing down the wall she’s built around herself so artfully.

I don’t hesitate. Climbing off my ATV, I walk the few short steps it takes to get to him and climb on the back. My arms go around his waist and my face lies against his back. He smells like outdoor air, pine, and scented soap.

It’s becoming my new favorite scent.

His right hand reaches back, curling around my thigh with deliberate possession. When he looks back at me, there’s no humor in his eyes.

“Ready?”

It’s a loaded question. Am I ready to ride on the back of this ATV with him?

Yes.

Am I ready to trust him with my safety?

Yes.

Am I ready to give my body over to him, passionately and with abandon?

Yes.

Am I ready to trust him with my heart?

Not yet.

It’s locked up too tight, and I’m not sure I can even remember where I hid the key. I might have buried it, along with any positive emotions or memories I have of the only other man I trusted with it.

My father.

The man who, as I’m growing closer to Drake, could be released from prison and unleashed onto the world once again.

I
can’t explain how it feels. Her arms wrapped around me, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. The way her thighs press so tight against mine, like she’s using her legs to hug me. It propels me into the future, one where I’m hovering above her perfect, naked body with her legs wrapped around my waist with that same tight press that makes me want to roll my eyes back in my head.

She’s making me lose myself. I almost can’t keep it together, keep us on the trail, keep myself from stopping the ATV and scooping her up. But I know I messed up last night. I don’t know how I can read her so well, but I know…I
know
she needs time. She needs me to prove that I can be trusted with anything she’s willing to give.

I want her to give me everything.

The expression on Mea’s face last night when she got that phone call, that expression reached into my chest and crushed my heart in its devastated fist. I wanted to crawl through the phone, grab her brother for making her face look so stricken. The urge to comfort, to protect, to
claim
was so strong it was like a living, breathing thing inside of me. I’ve never felt anything like that before.

And the current of energy around her continued to swirl, swirl, swirl. Her tornado didn’t succumb to her obvious desolation. It just got stronger, angrier, threatening to suck everything around it into its stormy center.

What could have made her feel that way? What scares her that much?

It has something to do with her past. I know that much. There’s something inside of her so dark, so deep, that I couldn’t reach the depths of it even if I tried. If I’m going to know, it’ll be because she drags me down there with her.

But I’m strong enough to swim her up, save her from the current of the secret that terrifies her.

I just don’t think she knows that yet.

Her startled shout alerts me, and I turn my head to see her small hand pointing off into the woods beside us. I cut the engine, and the ATV slows and stutters to a stop. I remove my helmet so I can hear what she’s saying, and she does the same.

With one arm still grabbing my middle, she points with enthusiasm again. “Did you see it, Drake?”

Looking back at her with confusion, I shake my head. “See what?”

She sighs, a happy, dreamy look entering her eyes that I don’t think I’ve seen there before. “It was a deer, two of them, actually. A mom and her baby. They were so sweet, standing there, but they darted away before we got close.”

I can’t help but smile at her expression. The girl is seriously melting me, rearranging my insides until I don’t recognize them. They’re becoming all soft and sweet whenever I look at her. “The engine scared them.”

Her curls swish against my cheek as she leans in closer, sniffing. “You smell so good.”

Her voice has gone all low and husky, and my dick instantly jerks to attention like it’s responding to a signal that only she knows. “Yeah?” The thudding of my heart is heavy, harsh, and violent.

She breathes out. “Yeah.”

She lifts her eyes, big, warm, and beautiful to meet mine. I’m hypnotized for a minute, just staring into them while she stares right back. With an uncontrollable surge of
need
, my body moves into autopilot and I just react.

I tug her wrist, pulling her off the back of the bike. When she’s standing beside me, a quick gasp escapes her as I pull her to straddle my lap.

And then she’s mine.

Her lips are
mine
, her mouth belongs to me.

And I pillage.

And I plunder.

At the insistent urge of my tongue, she opens to me with a moan. I pull back for a second.

“Sexiest sound I ever heard, baby.” I don’t want to scare her, but I can’t do much more than growl at this moment.

Claiming her lips again, I taste her and she’s perfect. Fucking perfect. She presses against me, forcing me to go deeper, to kiss her harder. When she grinds her hips against my rock-hard cock, I can’t take it anymore. Her hands sift through my hair. Rough, rough, rough.

I wrench away from her devilish mouth and grab her ass. The fact that any other rider could come along at any moment only amps me up, not slows me down. I lift her up, and when I plunge her back down on top of me she clamps down on her bottom lip with her teeth and drops her head into my shoulder.

“Drake,” she whispers. Harsh, harsh, harsh.

Then she bites down hard on my shoulder.

“Fuuuuuck.” My breathing is ragged, heavy.

I need this woman. I need to cover her, and I need her to cover me. I need to crawl inside of her, buried deep, and learn her from the inside out. The impression of wanting to jump out of my own damn skin and into hers is eating me up. Swallowing me whole. Burning me alive.

The not-so-distant sound of several engines pulls me back to the here and now, and I freeze. My hands are still on Mea’s firm, round ass as she moves her head to glance at me. Her eyelids are heavy and she’s wearing this sexy “I want you” look that could make me come in my jeans if I’m not careful.

I want to roar with the frustration of it, but instead I climb off the ATV, pulling her with me. When I’m standing on two feet again I set her down gently in front of me but I don’t let her go.

Our friends, their ATVs slowing down to approach us, are just coming into view when I growl at her. “Later.”

She bats long lashes at me. “Promise?”

Both of my hands lift to the sides of my head and I squeeze hard. Doesn’t work. Trying to get her out of my mind is like trying to eat French fries without ketchup. Doesn’t make any sense.

“Shit, man, we saw Mea’s four-wheeler abandoned back there and got worried!” Dare’s disapproval rings clear in his tone as he assesses me. When his eyes graze over Mea and her current state of ruffled, sex-kitten appearance his eyes widen the slightest bit. Swinging his gaze back to me, he shakes his head.

“Won a bet.” I jerk my thumb toward Mea. “She’s the prize.”

Greta’s tinkling laugh warrants my attention and I glance at her. “She’s a perfect prize.”

My gaze strays to Mea again, who’s shifting from foot to foot with something akin to embarrassment. I smile as something strange and unfamiliar fills me up and practically lifts me off my feet. “I know.”

We spend the rest of the morning riding, and when we’ve all had our fill we pack it in and decide to grab a late lunch back at the house and rest up for the night.

The fragrant Savannah air is light and airy with the impending spring, and the space inside my chest feels the same way. It makes me see how much grief and guilt I’ve been carrying around since my mother’s death. And even before she died, I carried myself with the heaviness of a weighty load on my shoulders.

The responsibility of taking care of her and myself was laid on me at way too young an age. And I never really learned how to unburden myself after I became an adult. I carried responsibility on my shoulders through basic training and right into the Ranger battalion. My brothers in arms were my responsibility. Their safety, whether or not they made it home to their parents, wives, and kids, fell on my shoulders.

It’s a pattern I never learned how to change, because I never realized how much the weight of it all was crushing me.

I’m sitting at the table in the sunny morning room just off the kitchen when Dare’s brother Chase plunks down in another seat. It’s early afternoon, and everyone is doing his or her own thing.

When I look at Chase, he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face that makes me want to punch it off.

“What?” My voice is gruffer than usual.

“I remember when it happened to me. Felt like a damn train hit me. Never saw it coming. Never saw
her
coming.” His tone is matter-of-fact, like he’s talking about the right way to reassemble the engine of a classic Firebird.

My brain tries to follow his random train of thought, keep up with where he’s headed, but I fail miserably. Confusion is at the forefront of it all, and it must show on my face. “I’m lost, Chase. What?”

He leans forward, lacing his fingers together. Chase and Dare look nothing alike. They’re foster brothers, and they share that bond like it’s made from blood. Chase used to be a mess. Gambling, conning, and scheming were all he was good for. Until he met Shay. Everything changed for him from that point on, and Dare was grateful for it. He was always the one to bail Chase out, but now Chase has become the father and husband none of us ever thought he’d be.

“It happened to me the second I saw Shay. I never looked back. She was wrapped up tight in that criminal bastard Chavez’s hold, but I couldn’t see anything but her. Would have laid it all on the line if I had to. I see the same look on your face when you’re with Mea. Like you can’t get enough.”

Like I’d drown in her if I could.

I avert my gaze, turning it toward the giant bay window once again. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Chase. This girl…she’s complicated. So am I.”

Just talking about her like this with someone else is causing my blood to heat in my veins. She’s in there…when did that happen? The first night I slept with her years back? The night she got my drunken ass home from See Food? Or was it the night I saw how vulnerable and fragile she is despite the strong vibes she puts out during the day?

The answer? All of those. She crawled under my skin and never left. She’s seated there like it’s her throne, her place to rule over me like the queen she is.

“Sullivan!” Her voice interrupts our conversation at the perfect moment and she glides into the kitchen. She’s seriously the only woman I know who moves like that, like she’s always floating. It’s magnetic; drawing people toward her in her wake wherever she goes. “Let’s talk about tonight.”

Chase’s muffled cough hides his amusement as I turn toward her with my entire body. “Right. You want to split them up tonight, right?”

Mea’s adorable grin pulls her luscious lips up just a little higher on one side. “Absolutely. Don’t you want to give Dare a
real
bachelor party, just for a night? We can meet up later if you want. I just need a couple of hours with Berkeley to get a bachelorette scavenger hunt going.” She rubs her hands together like the dirty ideas are already rolling through her mischievous mind.

I can’t help but smile at her. “Sounds good. We can handle Dare for a few hours, right, Chase?”

Chase’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between the two of us. “’Course we can.” I can see his own set of questionable plans taking shape just behind his eyes.

Mea’s beautiful brown eyes hold mine for a second. The girl is as sure of herself as anyone I know, but I can see a hint of uncertainty in her gaze. As she turns to leave Chase and me alone, I grab on to her wrist and give Chase a pointed look.

It takes him all of five long seconds before he reads it and comprehends. Standing up, he slaps my shoulder and drops a kiss on Mea’s cheek before he leaves the room.

I tug Mea onto my lap and she comes willingly, turning her body to the side so that her head finds a nesting spot on my chest. Moving my hand down her smooth skin until I’m holding her hand, I squeeze her delicate, slender fingers gently between mine. “What’s up, baby girl?”

She runs a dark-polished fingernail over my collarbone, blazing a trail on the soft cotton of my thermal. My gaze drops to follow her trajectory; she traces the place where my heart is now beating an erratic rock song in my chest. When I lift my eyes again, hers are melted liquid pools of chocolate.

Damn. She’s fucking gorgeous.

“Well…” Her lip is sucked into her mouth as she hesitates and I control myself, somehow refraining from taking the succulent flesh into my own mouth to suck.

“Well?” My voice has dropped low and rough. I can’t help it, she brings out the barest, basic natural instinct inside of me to take what’s mine and mark it. Procure, possess, protect.

Her head drops against me again as she guides her finger down lower. When it reaches my abdomen and she traces the lines of my muscles there, I clench my teeth hard. When she crosses the threshold between my shirt and my jeans, dipping her finger below the denim, I hiss out a whispered curse.

“Mea.” She’s exactly one breath away from unleashing the beast inside me. Does she know it? Is that what she wants?

I can’t get this wrong. I need her to tell me what she wants. What she needs.

“Earlier, on the ATV? You said ‘later.’ I was just wondering how much later you meant.”

Every muscle, every breath, every heartbeat I have goes still while I evaluate her words. I allow my brain a second to think it through, because I can’t just plunge in with Mea. She’s worth the time it takes to make sure we’re on the same level, that we understand each other completely before I make any rash decisions. But damn if I don’t want to rip every single item of clothing she’s wearing right now off of her and plunge into her sweet, dark heat right here at this table.

When she lifts her head to glance at me again, all that thought is lost. Her eyes are the softest velvet, the deepest secret, the sweetest story ever told. And they focus on me with the intensity of someone who needs her body pleasured in a way that only I can do.

I’m on my feet then, cradling her against my chest as I eat up the distance between the kitchen table and the back staircase. She’s weightless in my arms as I climb the steps, cross the hallway upstairs, and fling open the door to my temporary bedroom.

The afternoon sun is streaming in, and I say a silent prayer of thanks to whoever is listening. The first time with Mea again and I get to have her in the daylight? My cock twitches at the thought, ready to be freed from the cotton and denim separating him from the girl he seeks.

I cross the room, and place her down on my bed. She slides back a little bit, allowing her legs to hang over the side as she stares up at me. Kneeling, I pull off her boots and toss them behind me. Unbuttoning her jeans, I slide them down the lithe, shapely curves of her legs. Her skin is perfect, buttery and soft and fragrant. There’re no girly floral perfumes for Mea. She’s all woman and her scent reflects that. The inviting spice of amber and musk floods my nostrils, mixed with the heady, intoxicating aroma of her arousal wafting toward me from her panties. I want to bury my head between her legs, but first I want her naked.