Authors: Danielle Sibarium
Chapter 12
Lexi
That piece of shit! How can he walk away like that? Did I disgust him that much when I was fat that even now the thought of being attracted to me repulses him? I take a moment to dry off before following after Noah. I call out, but there's no response. I go down the steps, and see him through the window, standing on the beach, his arms behind his head, staring out into the waves.
I give him a few minutes, but he doesn't move. It's like he's frozen out there.
"Hey, party boy."
"Don't call me that." Noah, turns to me, his eyes look pained, his chest heaving. "That's not who I am, Lexi."
I shrug. "It doesn't really matter."
"Yes, it does. I need you to know that." He closes his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened in there. I was way out of line."
"It's no big deal."
"Yes, Alexis. It is." He uses my full name, and it sounds beautiful coming off his lips. I wish he'd say it again. "It's a huge deal. I didn't mean to . . ."
"I disagree. You meant to." I step closer, and poke my pointer finger into his chest. I'm not going to let him off the hook with 'I didn't mean to,' or 'it was a mistake.' "You meant every touch. Every kiss. Look, we're alone together, and for the moment you were attracted to me."
"It wasn't a moment."
"I know it doesn't mean anything, that I'm not the type of girl you want to be with."
"You know shit about the type of girl I want to be with."
"I had a pretty good view at the bar the other night. Look, it happened. Get over it. You don't have to stay alone out here because you're embarrassed or ashamed."
His eyes narrow as he focuses them on me. "That's what you think? That I'm embarrassed and ashamed of wanting you?"
I nod.
"Why?"
"Because you find me repulsive and disgusting."
He steps toward me, cups my face in his hands, and looks at me like no one else ever has. Like I'm a precious treasure. He shakes his head as if he can't believe what I just said. "No. God, no."
I feel myself drowning in the intensity of those blue/green eyes. "Maybe not now, but when I was young and fat." I can't bear to look at him.
He touches his lips to mine swiping his tongue over my bottom lip slow and tender, as if I'm delicate and might break if he kisses me too hard. "You were never fat."
I back up. "Maybe you see things different now, but I heard what you said to my brother about me."
His hands drop and wrap around my waist, pulling me against him.
"I never said that." He brushes my hair away from my face. "You were always a cutie. The only thing I ever told Coop about you, was that he better invest in a lot of baseball bats because that was the only way he was going to keep the boys away."
"I know what I heard."
"Then you heard wrong."
Noah sounds sincere, and I want to believe him. More than I want oxygen to breathe, I want to trust in what he says, fall into his arms, and spend the rest of my life there.
"It was a shock to hear because up until that moment I thought you were the nicest guy in the world, so I asked Cooper who you were talking about. He said me. Why would he lie?"
"I don't know. For the same fucking reason he lied about me being the one who wanted to party all the time I guess.
"Then why are you out here? Why did you run away?"
With one hand still around my waist, Noah smoothes my hair and pulls my head against his chest. "Lexi, you've got me twisted in knots. I don't know what to do anymore. You kiss me, and it's like I'm the only one that exists, but then you're running your mouth talking shit to me. One minute you act like you want me, the next you're looking to hook up with another guy. You shock me with your antics. You infuriate me to the point I want to take you over my knee. Most of all, every minute we're together feels like I'm in the middle of a wet fucking dream, and what it all comes down to is I just can't get enough of you."
His words aren't eloquent. They aren't dressed up like a bouquet of sweet smelling flowers, and if they came from anyone else, I might be insulted. But, the words spill out of Noah's mouth like they live on the tip of his tongue, and they're beautiful. They're real. I know, because I feel the emotion behind them.
"I want you, Noah. I'm so scared because I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone."
"In case you're blind and have lost all feeling in your lower body, you know I want you, too."
"That's what's scaring the shit out of me. All these years I've thought about you one way, and being with you, you don't seem to be what I believed at all."
"Because I'm not."
My teeth chatter, and I'm not sure if it's because my shirt is still soaked, or because of my nerves."
"It's so easy to want more with you." I pause, and he doesn't speak. "What's happening between us?"
His hand comes off my waist and rubs across his forehead. "See, that's the part that confuses me. I don't know. I know that I'm falling hard for you."
I swallow the lump of emotion stuck in my throat. My stomach clenches at the thought of what I'm about to say. "This may come as a surprise, but I had a mad crush on you as a teenager."
"You did? I had no idea."
I shrug it off. "And then I heard you talking to Cooper and I've hated you ever since. Hated you with a passion. Maybe the passion part is the problem. Hate is such a strong emotion, everyone says it's a hair away from love. I've always swung to such polar opposites with you. You've been so wonderful these last few days. I'm afraid my feelings are crossing over to the other end of the spectrum and if I let myself, I might actually fall in love with you."
He looks away.
"What? I practically poured my heart out to you and you're looking away as if you can't handle the thought of you and me . . ."
He kisses me. Another deep, demanding kiss, where his tongue forces its way between my lips and into my mouth. It's all I can do to let him in, meet his fervor with my own. This kiss sucks the oxygen from my lungs, and I think I'm going to go limp in his arms.
When he pulls away, after what feels like the greatest minutes of my life. He rests his forehead against mine. "I'm nervous, Lexi. Hell I'm all out scared. I've never felt this way before, and there's so much at stake. I won't lie to you. If we take the next step, I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't know that we'll have a happy ending, I can't promise that. But I do know it's going to push my relationship with your brother to the brink. I do know that I care about what happens to you, and if it goes bad, I lose you and Cooper. I'm not sure I want to risk . . ."
I press my finger over his lips to shut him up.
"Cooper isn't here. He doesn't have to know anything. If things don't work out, we just walk away at the end of this. It's that simple. We leave here and I promise I won't ever tell him what happened between us."
"I don't want you to lie to your brother."
"He doesn't own me, Noah. I'm not his property. And he doesn't get a say in who I fuck."
He looks into my eyes, his stare burning, piercing. "Is that what you want?" he whispers. "For me to fuck you?"
I nod, and shiver in the night air as tiny bumps rise to the surface and cover my skin.
He shakes his head. "I'm not going to fuck you. I'm going to fucking worship you."
*
"I'm going to convince you how amazing I think your body is," Noah's voice is low, raw.
We're standing in front of the bed in his room, our wet clothes are now damp and a lot less clingy than they were half an hour ago. His mouth is on my neck. He found my spot.
The
spot. His lips and tongue brushing against my skin right here, act like a switch, lighting me up and turning me on.
The heat from his hooded eyes is intense and threatening. With just a look, he's telling me he's in control and challenging me to be right here with him in the moment. I hope I don't disappoint. It's not something I'm good at. When someone touches me or looks at me with my clothes off, the last thing I am is relaxed. But this is different because it's Noah and I want him to look at me just the way he is right now, with fire in his eyes mixed with all-out need.
His hands on my shoulders guide me down to the edge of the bed. Holding the hem of my shirt, he lifts it over my head and tosses it to floor, leaving me in nothing put a pair of white lacy panties. His eyes soak me in, study me, his gaze is so strong, I feel it's grip on me, caressing me, urging me closer to him.
"Breathtaking," he says before dropping to his knees in front of me.
Embarrassed, and too nervous to meet his stare, I look away.
"Look at me, Lexi," he whispers as his mouth meets my belly and tastes the area above my belly button. "I want you to see how much I enjoy looking at you and touching you."
My pulse is racing. I'm trembling with need. With each passing second it's growing stronger inside me; the need to touch him and kiss him, the need for his body to put demands on mine. I feel it between my legs in a way I never have before. I'm aching for him to take the next step, to do something more than tease me with his looks. I need to feel him deep inside me, so that all of him touches every part of my body, inside and out.
Noah's fingertips ghost over my skin as they slip from my shoulders down to my breasts. He wraps his arms around me, urging me closer. I arch my back toward him as his teeth clamp gently around my nipple. It's not enough. Impatient for more, I hold his head tight to my chest. I don't want him to stop sucking and nibbling. His mouth is so intense around this area, at times it almost hurts. But the pleasure I'm getting from it outweighs any discomfort and I want more. My head rolls back as I press my hands against the mattress for support. I'm surprised to hear sound escape me. I'm moaning, as his tongue flicks back and forth over my nipple. I know this is just the beginning. I don't think I'll be able to hold out much longer.
"Noah."
"Are you ready?" He asks, his voice low, gravely.
"Yes."
"Do you have any idea how bad I want you?"
"Stop teasing me. Take me already."
Playfully, he pushes me down. "What do you want?"
"You."
"What do you want me to do?"
"I want to feel you inside me."
His hands on my hips pull, yank the white lacy panties off me. Once they're gone, I feel his fingers back up at the top of my thighs. They trail the crease at the top where my legs and my middle come together. I think with my next breath I'll feel one slip inside me, but they move in the wrong direction, away from my center. Back up and out toward my hips. Noah inches his fingers down my legs at a painfully slow pace. Once he gets to my knees, he stops. I'm squirming on the bed because I don't want him to stop. I want to press myself against him. Convince him to take me now.
"Do you want to cum?" I hear his ragged breath, and it turns me on more, if that's possible.
I nod.
"Say it."
"I want to cum."
He shakes his head "You're not very convincing. Say it like you mean it, or this all stops."
"Don't stop. Make me cum."
He shakes his head with a cocky grin, and I want to hit him. "Come on, Lexi. Like you mean it."
Frustrated, my hands find my hair. Still writhing on the bed, racking my brain for some way to convince him, I let my hands move down my face and neck. They roam over my breasts and graze my hard nipples.
"Noah," I hear the breathlessness in my voice, and damn him, if he won't finish what he started, I will. One hand stays at my breast, the other continues the path, down my center, over stomach, past my belly button. I can't believe he's going to make me do this, but right now I don't care. I want the release, I need it more than I need my pride.
"I need to cum, now, Noah!"
This does the trick. In a hard, swift motion, he throws my knees apart, causing me to gasp from the shock of it, as well as the anticipation of what's to follow.
"You're so fucking wet." he says looking between my legs. "So fucking beautiful."
There's no more hesitation. I feel the warmth of his mouth on the inside of my thigh as he lifts my legs and rests my feet on his shoulders. As I realize what he's about to do, the sensation of his tongue brushing against my core keeps me from freaking out.
I grab the sheets and clench them tight between my fingers as I feel his tongue slip in and out of my pussy. I can't control my breathing or moaning. Just as I get used to the rhythm his tongue teases my clitoris, flicking over it, circling around it. The sounds I'm making are getting louder as he follows this pattern alternating between using his tongue to fuck and tease me, until I can't take it anymore. My body is tense, rigid and I'm afraid he's going to stop before I can finish, but he doesn't stop. Even as I shudder and spasm, he keeps with it. I try to move, push away because this is the most intense orgasm I've had in my life while I scream his name, but he holds me in place and doesn't let up until my body comes down off the ceiling and relaxes once again.