Authors: Jennifer Crusie
“I have the perfect design,” Jessie said. “A tasteful stack of staggered sheet cakes decorated to look like government bonds, artfully garnished with roses made from folded hundred-dollar bills.”
“Listen, if all I was after was money, I’d have stuck to the first two men I met here,” Kate said.
“Oh, good. Tell me everything.”
“No. It was depressing. What have you been doing?”
“Coating two ring cakes with edible gold powder for the Dershowitzes’ fiftieth anniversary. You should see the cherubs I’ve made to go on top. They look just like the Dershowitzes. Even I’m impressed with how incredible I am.”
Kate bit her lip. “Jessie, do you ever have doubts about what you want? You know, about your goals?”
“What goals?” Jessie said. “Goals are for fascists. Are you having doubts about your goals? Because, if so, it’s about time.”
“Well, not really...”
“Let me guess. You’ve met some distinguished, rich guys, and they’re not much fun, and you’ve seen the error of your ways.”
“No.” Kate hesitated. “Well, I’ve had two dates that were...well...mistakes, I guess.”
“But you behaved beautifully,” Jessie said with obvious disgust. “Even though they were boring and shallow, you smiled and were the perfect lady.”
“No. I pushed one in the pool and gave the other one a heart attack on the golf course.”
“What?”
“He reminded me a lot of the men I was engaged to.”
“A heart attack?”
“Do you think that’s why I tried to kill Peter today on the golf course?”
“Wait a minute. Are we talking actual death, here?”
“No. Jake showed up and helped me give him mouth-to-mouth and then the paramedics came.”
“Who’s Jake?”
“Nobody. Anyway, Peter’s fine now.”
“So, let me get this straight. You tried to kill this guy because he reminded you of the three stooges you were engaged to? This vacation was really a
very
good idea.”
“Well, I didn’t actually try to kill him. I just beat him at golf.”
“If he’s like the stooges, that would do it.”
“He is. It did. He deserved it. He cheated.”
“And you caught him. Good girl.”
“Well, Jake told me he would. And then—”
“Who’s Jake?”
“Nobody. And then when I cheated, too—”
“You cheated? You?”
“It seemed fair. He was.”
“Excuse me. You
are
Kate Svenson, right?”
“You know, perhaps it was all the beer I had this morning.”
“You drank beer in the morning?”
“It was all Jake packed, and I was stuck in the middle of the lake in this decaying rowboat—”
“Who’s Jake?”
“Forget Jake. He’s not interesting.”
“The hell he isn’t.
I’m
interested.”
“He’s some kind of handyman.” Kate stopped to think. “You know, I’m not sure what he does.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone.
“Jessie?”
“You spent the morning drinking beer on a lake in a rowboat with a man, and you’re not sure what he does but you think he’s a handyman.”
“Right.”
“Maybe I’d better drive down,” Jessie said. “This is not like you.”
“I’m fine,” Kate said. “In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better.”
“Bad deduction,” Jessie said. “If that were true, I’d be dating Harrison Ford by now.”
“I’m still not giving up,” Kate said. “I’m just modifying my plan slightly.”
“Modify all you want,” Jessie said. “The more changes you make in that plan, the better. Just don’t do anything drastic without checking in with me.”
“Because you know so much about men? You forget I know all about your pathetic love life,” Kate said.
“At least I occasionally have one,” Jessie said. “You’re still planning the perfect business merger. A little more love would do you a world of good. Why don’t you forget that plan and just fall in love?”
“Right,” Kate sneered. “And then I’d end up with some loser like...”
“Like?”
“Forget it.”
“Tell me more about Jake,” Jessie said.
“Forget Jake. He’s not a possibility. There are some others who are. This could still work out.” There was Donald what’s-his-name. And Eric. And Rick was very nice. “Jessie?” Kate added, after a pause.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for sending me down here. I think I’m having a good time.”
“Yeah, well, call me when you’re sure,” Jessie said. “You’re behaving very strangely.”
“I think that’s why I’m having a good time,” Kate said.
Kate found Penny at the pool later that afternoon, barely dressed in a lime-green bikini and surrounded by men. She stretched out next to her on a lounge chair and surveyed the scene with contentment Mark had the bar set up again, and people drifted by, socializing in the lazy Sunday afternoon, smelling of suntan lotion, chlorine, and booze. They were the same people who had annoyed Kate so the day before, but she smiled at them now as they went past, and they smiled back.
Jake and Will sat at the end of the bar, arguing over some papers. Jake was in torn jeans and a white T-shirt with the label sticking up in back. He did nice things for a plain old T-shirt, not to mention the jeans, and she felt a moment’s regret that he didn’t fit her plan. Will looked cool and distinguished in tailored slacks and a well-cut shirt; no wonder Valerie was doing everything she could to hold on to him. Strange men to be friends, so different, although now that she studied them, they did sort of look alike.
Frank, rounder than usual in bright red shorts and a tank top, was attempting to pick up two college girls sunning on the other side of the pool. They politely ignored him, although Kate noticed that one, a trim little brunette, kept an eye on Jake and Will. She’d better settle for Jake. Valerie would not be amused if someone moved in on her future. The idea of Jake and the college girl was annoying for some reason, but before she could pursue it further, one of Penny’s men, a tall blond she remembered vaguely from the night before, attached himself to her.
“Calvin Klein’s resort collection.” He surveyed her outfit with approval.
She studied him over her sunglasses. He wore horn-rimmed glasses, which made him endearingly attractive. His blond hair was beautifully cut. His tan slacks were impeccably tailored. He was keeping his hands to himself. And best of all, so far he hadn’t challenged her to anything.
She held out her hand. “Kate Svenson.”
“I’m Donald Prescott.” He took her hand and smiled into her eyes. “We met yesterday at the luau. You look marvelous. It can’t be easy to look that cool and collected at a country pool. You really have presence.”
“Thank you, Donald.” Presence. She’d rather have sex appeal. She glanced over at Penny in her string bikini. Penny had no presence at all. Penny had fun.
Penny waved at her. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said and Kate was taken aback for a moment at the sincerity in her voice. Penny was a truly good, warm person. Her values were a little whacked out, but her heart was sound. She should be nicer to Penny. In fact, she should be more
like
Penny.
Donald caught her attention briefly by telling her about a Donna Karan outlet only a few hours from the hotel. Given the savings, he insisted, the drive was an economically sound choice. “She really does make the best suits for women,” he said. “But of course you know that.”
“Of course,” Kate said, distracted by the little brunette who was moving with purpose toward the bar.
Donald claimed her attention again, and he told her about prices in the city and the best place to buy jewelry.
Donald’s very nice,
she thought,
and very good-looking, and I should concentrate on what I came here for. What is that brunette doing?
Kate watched while Will poured the girl a soda, smiling at her before he went back to Jake and the paperwork. The girl dawdled on her way back to her chair. Neither Jake nor Will noticed. Good. They were too old for her, anyway.
Jake leaned on the bar and talked to Will, pointing something out in the papers in front of them. Their heads were close, their hair the same dark, dark brown.
“Jake looks a lot like Will,” she said to Penny. “They could be brothers.”
“They are,” Penny said. “I wish I had a hat.”
Kate looked back at Jake, confused. “Jake works as a handyman in his brother’s hotel?”
“Jake’s an accountant. He just helps around here every now and then because Will owns the hotel. I think Will lets him live in the last cabin for free.”
Kate frowned. “Jake’s an accountant?”
“He used to be some kind of tax lawyer in Boston. Then he came home, and now he helps Will with the hotel and does everybody else’s taxes. Isn’t his cowboy hat the coolest?”
“Jake was a tax attorney?”
“I think he made a lot of money and retired or something.” Penny pulled a mirror from her bag and checked her makeup. “Let’s go to that bar tonight that Valerie was talking about. Nancy’s.”
“It’s Sunday. It’s not open.” Kate stared at Jake. “Jake was a tax attorney?”
“What difference does it make? He’s not anymore.” Penny took out her lipstick and carefully darkened her beautiful lips. “Maybe we can go to the bar tomorrow night. I think somebody should warn Nancy that Valerie is trying to run her out of business.”
“I don’t know, Penny,” Kate said, still watching Jake. “It might be better not to get in the middle of that.”
“Well, let’s just go and see,” Penny said. “I want to meet Nancy anyway. Everybody says she’s really nice. Will you come with me?”
“Sure,” Kate said absently. Jake and Will were nodding at each other and then Will went down the length of the bar to serve another guest. Jake went back to the papers, making notes on a separate page while he studied the figures in front of him. For a moment, Kate could see him as he must have been before—focused, alert, intelligent, and professional. Then Jake seemed to catch himself. He looked down at his notes, shook his head, and crumpled up the paper, closed the ledger. When Will returned, he shoved the rest of the paperwork back to him with one finger as if it were unclean.
He was too young to retire, but there he was, not doing much of anything, a tax attorney who mowed lawns. And he was lazy and unmotivated, but he showed up on the golf course knowing CPR. And he was Will’s unemployed brother, but Will listened to him, as if he were a partner. And he was definitely not her type, yet she was more comfortable with him than with any other man she’d ever met. Strange man.
Donald claimed her attention again.
“There’s a store in the village that sells hats like Jake’s,” he told her and Penny.
“Super,” Penny said, looking at him.
“Super,” Kate echoed, looking at Jake.
At nine the next morning—ignoring her own nagging doubts that she was wasting time she could better use furthering her plan—Kate met Jake at the lake.
“Valerie just called my cabin to arrange a nature hike,” she said. “Please don’t let her get me. I brought a book. I won’t annoy you.”
“You don’t annoy me,” Jake said. “Get in.”
He rowed them across the lake and back under the willows, stripped off his shirt and lay back to sleep, just as he had the morning before.
“Is this all you do?” Kate asked, settling herself with her book.
“What?”
“Sleep in boats?”
Jake tipped his hat back and scowled at her from his end of the boat. “I get up at five-thirty and work my butt off making sure the grounds look nice for people like you, and this is the thanks I get?”
“Sorry,” Kate said.
Jake nodded once and put his hat back over his face.
“So what is it you do, exactly?”
Jake tipped his hat back again. “If you’re going to be chatty, I’m rowing you back to shore.”
Kate shrugged. “I’m just curious. Penny said you used to be a tax attorney.”
“Used to be
are the operative words,” Jake said. “Now I’m in outdoor management.” He put his hat back.
“Does that mean you mow lawns?”
“No, that means I tell other people to mow lawns. Now shut up and let me sleep.”
Kate opened her book, but ended up daydreaming instead. It was so peaceful on the lake, no pressures, no stress. Just the lake and the fish and Jake. She recalled the things she’d planned with Jessie back in the city and smiled. Jake would think she was insane if she told him.
She looked over at him. He wasn’t breathing deeply enough to be asleep yet.
“Have you ever noticed how reality changes, depending on where you are?” she asked him.
“No.”
“When I was in the city, I had an idea of the way things should be that seemed perfectly logical. But then I came to Toby’s Corners and my idea didn’t seem... well...quite right. And then I row out here with you, and in the middle of the lake, that same idea seems so stupid, it’s funny. Do you know what I mean?”
Jake was quiet for so long that she assumed he’d fallen asleep. Abruptly, he said, “Yes.”
“What?” Kate asked, startled.
“Yes, I know what you mean.” Jake pushed his hat off his face again. “That’s why I don’t go into cities and why I spend a lot of time out here.”
“Oh,” Kate said. “What was your stupid city idea?”
“That money was good, and it would be fun to make some,” Jake said.
“Oh,” Kate said again. After a moment, she added, “That was a stupid idea?”
“Well, not in Boston,” Jake said. “In Boston, they thought I was a wonder.”
“But not here?”
“Well...” Jake stretched a little. “Toby’s Corners has a very practical idea of money. It’s the stuff you use to pay the rent and buy food. In the city, it was more a way of keeping score.”
“Isn’t that just because there’s more of it in the city?” Kate said.
“No,” Jake said. “For instance, take my Aunt Clara. Now she was rich by Toby’s Corners standards, and when she died she split her money between Will and me.”
“That was nice of her,” Kate said.
“Well, it came to about twenty thousand dollars apiece, which was a fortune here but not much to brag about where I was living.” Jake reached over and opened the cooler. “I am having a beer,” he said. “You are having juice.” He handed her a can of orange juice and leaned back.