Mania and the Executioner (39 page)

“Hey! What are you guys doing!?” I shout once I’m close enough. The four boys turn around; two seem to recognize me because their eyes go wide.

“None of your business asshole!” One of the other two replies.

“That’s true, but I’m deciding to make it my business.” I tell them.

“Fuck off!” the boy says angrily. I narrow my eyes at him.

“Leave.” I order in a very stern tone. The two that recognize me take off.

“You can’t tell me what to do!” the boy says. I engage my helmet for extra effect.

“I said leave.” I say again sternly with my creepy overlapping voice.

This gets an effect out of the little asshole. He goes into shock, starts crying, and runs off with the other boy following; I’m pretty sure one of them pissed themselves. It seems that the kids that were playing soccer have also made themselves scarce. I disengage the helmet and walk over to the little boy that’s on the ground.

“Are you alright?” I ask while holding out my hand to help him up.

“Yeah…thank you.” The little boy says as I help him to his feet.

“Why were they bullying you?” I ask.

“My cousin and his stupid friends do that and nobody ever stops them because he is a part of the head family…” the little boy says quietly.

“Head family?” I ask.

“Yeah, how do you not know about the head family? Aren’t you the one marrying my sister?” the boy asks.

“HEY DIPSHIT!
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING PICKING ON MY LITTLE BROTHER!?” A large blonde man, who is around my age, yells while storming toward me. The little asshole from before is walking beside him with a smug smile on his face and stained pants. I applaud that little asshole for being able to look smug after pissing himself; I sure as shit wouldn’t be able to.

“Are you referring to me stopping him and his friends from continuing to bully this boy? Perhaps you should get all of the facts before you go accusing people, you dipshit.” I tell him while moving to the right, away from the boy
, in case things get confrontational.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?” He shouts from fifteen feet away.

“Wow…with a role model like you, I see how he turned out to be such a little asshole.” I reply.

He responds by pulling a 9mm pistol and firing tw
o rounds at my chest. I barely dodge them, flash forward, and snap the guy’s forearm like a twig. The man hits the ground screaming as I grab his gun, eject the magazine, un-chamber the round into my hand, and drop the gun next to him while slipping the magazine and spare round into my pocket.

“Didn’t you know that guns get people hurt?” I rhetorically ask under his screams.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?” some old lady screams.

“GUARDS!
ARREST HIM!” she screams while pointing at me. Four guards rush in and I respond by rolling my eyes, and putting my hand on the shoulder of the young boy. I’m about to touch the triskele when I realize that it would let everyone know that I can port, which wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Man, why didn’t I research smoke bombs earlier when I was researching other bombs?

Luckily, three of the guards recognize who I am and stop coming forward; the fourth guard picks up on the unusual behavior and stops as well.

“WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!?” the shrill lady shrieks.

“Uh, ma’am…he’s the one that fought in The Cage a few hours ago…” One of the guards explains.

“SO WHAT!? HE ATTACKED MY SON!” she shrieks.

“In other words, I took out six times their number when I was completely unarmed, unlike I am now. And if I had attacked your son, he’d be dead. He shot at me with the 9mm that is on the ground and I snapped his arm in response which I think is more than merciful.” I inform her.

“I have no idea where I am so can you lead me back to Natasha’s room?” I ask the little boy.

He nods and I follow him out of the room, past the shrill lady that is staring daggers into my hide. Is it just me, or do I smell an assassination plot from that family? Ten minutes later, we arrive at Natasha’s room.

“Hey Cole! I see you’ve met Chris.” Natasha points out when we walk in.

“When did you get back?” Cheza inquires.

“About forty-five minutes ago, before I made an enemy out of the head family, got shot at for the second time today, and broke a man’s arm.” I recap.

“Chris, was Nicolai bullying you again?” Natasha asks
with concern.

“Yeah, but Cole made Nicolai pee his pants so I think he may leave me alone for a while.” Chris explains.

“And let me guess; Nicolai responded by getting Alex to confront Cole, who undoubtedly said something snarky, causing my other asshole cousin to try and shoot Cole, which ended with Cole snapping his arm like a twig.” Natasha summarizes.

“Am I really that predictable?” I ask.

“Towards asshole bullies? Yeah, you kind of are.” Cheza replies.

“Oh…wait, so Chris is your little brother?” I ask Natasha.

“Yeah; adoption isn’t uncommon in Inuit or snow elf society and Pinga adopted him as a baby when I was thirteen.” Natasha explains.

“QUICK, CHRIS HOW OLD
ARE YOU!?” I shout.

“DON’T ANSWER THAT!” Natasha shou
ts over Chris as he says “Nine.”

“WOOHOO!
I FINALLY FOUND OUT NATASHA’S AGE!” I shout as Airi displays an image of the fireworks that go off at the end of a solitaire game. I think it’s her way of saying ‘woop-de-freakin-doo’.

“Wait, so you’ve only been with the Agency for about a year?” I ask.

“Two years; I was recruited during my junior year of college.” Natasha informs me.

“So are you okay with marrying an older woman? Considering all of interests are younger…
or in one case, much younger
…” Natasha says while looking away from me with a sly grin.

“Oh speaking of which, here.” I say as I reach into my pocket
, ignoring the part she muttered. I walk over to Natasha, take her left hand, and slip the ring onto it.

“Cole! This ring is so pretty; thank you!” Natasha says as she hugs me. “So you are okay with getting married?”

“Well, I’d be lying if I said I was perfectly okay with being married to both you and Cheza, but since it’s only for snow elf society, I’ll just think of it as something like insurance fraud!” I explain.

“Well it’s a bit more serious than insurance fraud seeing as you will be next in line to be chief, instead of my stupid nephews.” Pinga says after walking in the room. “Speaking of which, you should probably prepare yourself for the piece of shit that is coming through that door in three, two,
one.”

“THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I’M GOING TO ALLOW THAT LITTLE PRICK TO BE CHIEF!” Jorgen screams while barging into the room.

“Well then you shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place!” Pinga says.

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW—” Jorgen starts.

“Awww, is somebwody thwowin a tantwum because things didn’t go accowding to pwan?” Pinga interrupts in ‘baby-talk’. Jorgen looks like he’s about to have a stroke or pop a blood vessel.

“Well too damn bad! I approve of him far more than that piece of shit that tried to fire on the crowd before Cole stepped in front of the bullets! And he’ll make a much better chief than those two little bastards that your bitch of a sister c
alls her sons!” Pinga finishes.

“We’ll see about that…” Jorgen says under his breath as he storms out of the room.

“Well I’m off to bed, as should you Chezarei; you have training tomorrow. Come, Chris!” Pinga says and leaves the room with Chris in tow.

“She’s right Cheza; we should head back. Are you coming with us Natasha?” I ask.

“It might actually be a good idea for you two to sleep here. Jorgen has enough power to order a hit on you two, but he wouldn’t dare try it if you two were staying with me.” Natasha suggests.

I respond by touching my triskele and porting to the hotel. I grab Cheza’s bag and my own,
before porting back to Natasha’s room.

“Bathroom is r
ight there I take it?” I ask while motioning towards the door on the left side of the room and then I take out my toiletry bag.

“Yeah, it is.” Natasha confirms.

I enter the gigantic bathroom that includes two sinks, a walk-in shower, and a large bathtub, and I brush my teeth. I strip down, change into boxers that haven’t been covered in blood today, and get into the left side of the California King sized bed. Both the girls use the bathroom and climb into bed next to me. Natasha turns out her bedside light and I fall asleep a few minutes later.

…

Chapter 35: Fox-Girls, Explosives, and Poison; Oh My!

I wake up in the middle of the night to the feeling of a hand gently petting my groin and a nose being rubbed against mine.

“Cheza, we can’t tonight, you have training in the morning and you need some sleep.” I tell her and then she licks the side of my face.

“No really Cheza, you need to get some sleep.” I insist as she continues licking my face.

“Stop licking my face and stroking my crotch and go to bed!” I say sternly as she starts rubbing her nose against mine again.

“Cheza, why i
s your nose so cold?” I ask as I open my eyes and see an adorable white face…an adorable, white,
furry
face.

“AHHHHHH
!” I scream, causing both girls to freak out as I flip my bedside light on. I see a full-grown Arctic fox is what has been licking my face and its tail is what has been stroking my crotch.

“
COLE!? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!?…oh, did I forget to mention Kita?” Natasha asks.

“YES YOU FORGOT TO MENTION IT!” I shout. The fox recoils back and narrows its
deep blue eyes.

“Forgot to mention her?” I
correct. Kita licks my face in the affirmative, I think.

“Well, this is Kita. Kita, this is Cole and Chezarei.” Natasha introduces us.

“Where did Kita come from?” I ask.

“There’s a
small tunnel in my closet that leads to a small fox hole, which leads to the surface. Now let’s go back to sleep; just push Kita off of the bed if she is bothering you, Cole.” Natasha says as she turns over.

I pick Kita up and then she gives me this begging look that I can’t say no to. I set Kita back down
next to me and I lay my head down. Kita snuggles into my side and falls asleep.

***
*

I wake up to a tongue in
my mouth. I open my eyes and see a pair of deep blue, almond-shaped eyes staring back at me. I’m still in Natasha’s bed, but the room has disappeared, as have Natasha and Cheza; it’s just the bed floating in a dark space with this girl.

“This has to be a dream,” I think as the girl breaks away from our kiss. The girl that has been kissing me is
a beautiful Inuit girl with long black hair, but something isn’t quite right about her. The girl mounts me and starts riding me when I realize what’s off: this girl has white ears sticking up out of her head and a long, white, bushy tail.

The girl rides me until we both finish, at which point she collapses on top of me.

“You remind me of Kiviuq.” The girl whispers in my ear.

*
***

[June 4th]

I awaken to a small furry face licking my cheek and an otherwise empty bed. I’m guessing that this furry face is what influenced my dream last night, but what was it that the girl had said at the end? Something about Kiviuq…the Inuit folk hero?

“Good morning Kita,
did you sleep well?” I ask.

Kita nods in response; damn this fox is smart! I get out of bed and use the bathroom. I open up t
he shower door, step inside, and I’m about to turn the shower on when I hear scratching at the glass door.

“Oh so you want to take a shower with me, do you?” I ask. Kita paws the glass once. I open the glass door and Kita slinks inside. I turn the shower on and get it to a luke-warm temperature before I spray Kita with it. She scrunch
es up her face at first, but quickly relaxes.

“I’ve never bathed a fox before…do I use shampoo and conditioner on your coat?” I ask, not real
ly expecting an answer, but Kita nods in response. I take the shampoo bottle, squirt some into my hand, and show it to her for confirmation. Kita nods again so I lather her coat and rinse her off. I get confirmation on the conditioner and repeat. If I were anyone else, I’d probably find that getting instruction on bathing a fox from said fox is a little bizarre; however, I am not anyone else, so I don’t find this situation to be all that bizarre compared to the rest of my fucked up existence.

I finish my necessary shower procedure and
step out to towel off. I grab another towel for Kita, but she shakes her head. I grab the hairdryer from the long sink countertop and show it to her; Kita nods and I turn the dryer on. After Kita is dry, I get dressed and fully armed, and then Natasha walks in with a platter of food.