I'm not sure what to say. I knew this Mardee girl weighed on Ronin's conscious, but it seems to go much deeper than that. There's a lot more to this story than they've told me, but Ford was right about something else he told me last summer. I'm a keeper. A secret keeper, just like they are. And I'm not sure I want to keep their secrets as well as mine. I'm not sure I can handle that right now.
So if these guys do have more secrets, they can keep them. I'm totally OK with that and I take my chance to change the subject before I learn something I might not want to know. "I am getting better, though. And you're helping me. All three of you are helping me, actually. You with the running and school, Ronin with trust and relationships, and Spencer with the jobs. I'm so lucky to have you guys."
"I'm enjoying you too, Rook. You've taught me a few things as well."
I choke down a snort. "Like what?"
He begins to talk, but stops the words at the last second. His gaze sweeps across the baseball field below, then rests back on me. "Emotions have been… very difficult for me. It's true what Ronin said. I wouldn't say I have none, or that I'm incapable like my father thought. It's not that I
don't
or
can't
feel things like that. It's that I don't want to. I just don't care about people." He throws up his hands. "That's my dirtiest secret and now you have it. I just don't give a fuck about people, I really don't."
I can't help myself because these personal conversations with Ford are not common, so I ask. "Did you care about Mardee?"
"I did," he says with a sigh.
"And she preferred Ronin?"
He's the one who almost snorts this time. "Don't they all?" He looks over at me. "Don't
you all
prefer Ronin?"
I rest my elbows back on the concrete step behind me and then stretch my legs out. "You're a nice-looking guy, Ford. So is Spencer. I'm not sure one could actually choose between the three of you. You're all good catches. Equally desirable in different ways."
He screws up his face. "How is
Spencer
desirable? I have never understood what girls see in him."
I laugh. "Well, he's like a big fun-loving goof-ball, but powerful and dangerous at the same time. He's the bad boy girls fall in lust with and don't mind taking orders from."
"And Ronin?"
"Ronin's just hot." I grin over at him. "He's the player all the girls want to settle down. But he's nice too. If Spence is the bad boy, then Ronin is the good guy. The knight in shining armor, like you said."
"And me?"
I don't look at him this time, but I can feel his stare like it's heat. Waiting. "You're… predictable."
He belts out a laugh. "Well, I appreciate the ego stroke, Rook. Thank you." He gets up and starts to walk down the stairs.
"I wasn't finished."
He stops but keeps his back to me.
"Not predictable as in boring or repetitive, but predictable as in safe. Even though I'm always adjusting when I'm with you, reevaluating things about myself and…
you
. You're like an open book, Ford. What you see is what you get. So I'm not sure why your father thought that about you, I'm not really qualified to think too hard about it and make a better observation. But I'll just say this. The reason I like you is because you're honest. I know what I'm getting with you even though you keep me guessing. Because I always know that when you give me something, it will be good and you're only thinking of what's best for me. Ronin and Spencer are not better looking than you, that's for sure. You guys are just desirable in different ways."
He turns around and smiles. "Good to know. Ready?"
I shrug because I can see through his act now—he avoids talking about himself in personal ways most of the time. He'll tell me all about his college days, his jobs… professional things like that. But he hides from the emotional stuff, the things that cause him to feel too much. Not everything, mind you, he opens up every once in a while, but that open book has closed for today and I know this is his signal that talking is over.
I'm OK with that because I, too, am patient.
End of Book Shit
I made this cover, and RJ did the editing as usual. She deserves a lot of thanks for this one because this is the first book that came back with no plot edits. If I'm finally getting the hang of this book writing stuff it's because RJ has taught me how to do it. She corrects me over and over again, patiently, and there is not enough room here to explain how much I've learned from her edits. I told her once a while back that it's a habit now. When I write something—it doesn't matter what, every word, every sentence—I can
hear
her. And I always, always know which words will force her to create a
comment bubble
for me. LOL… She's the voice in my head now because of all those hundreds and hundreds of comment bubbles. So again, thank you, RJ.
I've also had a lot of new help lately—most notably in the form of The Triple M Book Club. God, I owe you ladies a whole bunch. I'm probably gonna have to send you some signed paperbacks or my first-born child or something. Also, some very big book blogs picked TRAGIC up and I owe them as well. I won't name all of you because I'm sure I'll miss someone and then I'll feel bad afterward, but
thank you
.
New authors ask (I know this because I used to wonder it myself) what did you do to make your book popular? And I finally have an answer. Nothing. All I did was write the book. I had no idea if people would like it, I'm just lucky they did. I didn't make any of this happen with TRAGIC. Not one bit. Readers make the books take off or flop. That's all there is to it. So, to all you readers who fell in love with this story—
thank you
. I hope this book lives up to the last and I hope you enjoy how the story of Rook and Ronin ends in the next book.
Also, a HUGE thank you to my Indie Inked girls! I love you ladies!
We Are Indie Inked
Alexia Purdy
Alivia Anders
Amber Garza
Angela Orlowski Peart
Anna Cruise
Beth Balmanno
Brina Courtney
Cambria Hebert
Cameo Renae
Ella James
Heidi McLaughlin
J. A. Huss
Julia Crane
Komal Kant
L. P. Dover
Lizzy Ford
Melissa Andrea
Melissa Pearl
Sarah M. Ross
Tabatha Vargo
Tara West
As I write this, TRAGIC has one hundred and seven Amazon reviews. Wow. I guess my pleading for reviews at the end of the book helped!
Please, please, pretty please
—do it again! :)
THANK YOU!