Authors: EC Sheedy
"It's past time you claimed your own birthright, Rand. And I think Griff would want that for you."
Rand started to protest, but Milt held up a hand. "He's dead. You loved him, but you can't lead his life at the expense of your own. Tessa Darwin is the best thing that's ever happened to you." He smiled grimly, said softly. "Surprise me, son. Don't be a fool and don't let her go."
Rand studied him for a very long moment without speaking. Then he gave a curt nod. "Sorry to disappoint you, Milt, but there'll be no surprises for you. Just business as usual." Now if only he believed his own words.
Rand strode out of the kitchen. He needed his office, his work. He didn't want to think about what Milt had said. And he absolutely didn't want to think about Tessa.
If she were more sophisticated, he might be able to work something out, a way to keep her with him. But Tessa would want marriage, and—what had she said that night in the dining room before they'd made love the first time? An occasional rose.
Rand stopped. He was no expert on women. He'd proven that, so why was he so sure Tessa wouldn't stay on his terms? He'd certainly make her life easier. He knew from her file that her family needed help, and Tessa wanted to go to a veterinary college. Maybe he had nothing to offer in the love and marriage department, but he could take care of her financial worries.
And maybe, just maybe, she'd compromise. There was only one way to find out. Ask. Which is what he'd do. Tonight.
After he had the Macy deal all wrapped up.
Leading Griff's life. What a bunch of crap.
What he was doing was running the family business.
* * *
Tessa loaded Millie and Licks into her car. It was six o'clock, and her day at Dawg's Inn had dragged endlessly. She got in the driver side and scrabbled in her bag for the keys, finding them at last.
She wouldn't go to Rand's bed tonight. The next move was his, and she was achingly afraid he wouldn't make it. He hadn't even called today. After last night she'd expected...
She slammed the door, hard.
Expectations. They'll get you every time.
She turned the key in the ignition, put the car in drive, and headed out of the small parking area next to the kennel, determined to think of something other than Rand.
She'd enjoyed Cullen's company this morning. His easygoing, natural good humor lifted her mood like a sunrise in winter. They'd talked about everything, his plans for Destiny Tech, how much he respected Rand, and how grateful he was he'd be working with someone who cared about Anima III the way he did. They were going to make an amazing team, he said. Everything was "amazing" to Cullen Macy. It was his favorite word.
They'd talked about her family, especially Annie and her plans to write the great American novel. For some reason Cullen was determined to meet her mother and sister, insisting he take them out to dinner before his meeting with Rand at eight-thirty.
She looked at her watch and picked up her speed. If she was to meet him on time, she had to get moving.
* * *
Rand stood facing the window in his office. It was a miserably wet and windy night. Rain ricocheted off the driveway like bullets.
Cullen Macy was late.
And Tessa was with him.
Rand almost choked when Cullen said he had to leave their afternoon meeting early because he was going to meet Tessa's family. Hell, they were in the final stages of a deal worth millions. The guy was crazy.
Tessa hadn't asked Rand to meet her family nor had she had them to the house. And he'd slept with her, for God's sake. Cullen had only met her yesterday.
Feeling tense and pressured, Rand decided to move even faster. He'd speak to Tessa tonight. He wanted an exclusive, and he meant to get it.
Tessa's Chevy drove up to the front of the house, and Macy got out the driver's side, holding a file folder over his head. He bolted around the car to share his meager protection from the rain with Tessa. Rand's gut tightened when he put an arm around her shoulder.
Tessa opened the back door of her car while Cullen hovered over her with the folder. She let Millie out before freeing Licks from his puppy crate.
The woman needed a bigger vehicle. He'd see to it tomorrow. After Macy went back to California, which couldn't be soon enough to suit Rand.
Rand glanced at the file on his desk. The German deal was set, the consortium waiting for his call the moment Macy signed control of Destiny Tech over to Red Earth. Everything was going according to plan.
Rand had never felt so bad in his life.
* * *
Tessa heard the quick rap on her door at around ten-thirty. She'd hoped he'd come, but now that he had—and she was certain it was Rand—she didn't know what she felt, other than a weird kind of dread and an insane urge to hide under the bed until the rapping stopped.
She took a couple of breaths, walked to the door, and opened it.
He stood straight, dressed impeccably in gray and black, looking as tempting as sin itself. Her room was dim, the TV droning in the background. She couldn't remember what she'd been watching. Right now the only thing she wanted to look at was Rand. Oh, how she loved him!
"May I come in?" he asked, his tone coolly correct.
"Oh, sorry. Of course." She stepped back, realized she'd been standing, blank as a frozen computer screen since she'd opened the door.
Rand glanced around the room. He looked distracted, preoccupied. "Where's Licks?" he asked.
"With Milt. He said he needed the company tonight."
"Ah."
Tessa took a good look at Rand, who seemed almost apprehensive. "Is something wrong?"
He rubbed his index finger along the bottom of his chin. "That depends."
"On what?"
"On whether or not you've developed some... feeling for Cullen Macy."
"Feeling?" she echoed, before she could think. "You mean as in
feeling
feelings?"
Rand looked away, as if his response rested in the air somewhere. "Yes, 'feeling feelings.' "
Tessa laughed, stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He smelled fabulous, like clean clothes and spring trees and man. She kissed him on the chin. "I like Cullen Macy. But I love you, Rand Fielding."
She saw his tension ease, and he pulled her close. But he didn't say he loved her back, and the missing words made every beat of her heart hurt. Like it or not, she'd let hope in the door.
"Good," he said, touching her face, smoothing her hair behind her ear. "Because I want you to stay with me."
"I am staying with you. I'm your live-in dog trainer, remember?"
"Not just to train my dog, Tessa. I want you to live with me. Only me." He stopped as if searching for a finish. "For an extended period of time."
An extended period of time.
What did that mean? She didn't get it. Or maybe she did.
Tessa's skin chilled. Her Mom said when a cold draft swept a room, it was a ghost on a stroll. This time it felt as if the ghost of love lost walked right between her and Rand. She stepped back. "Explain, please," she said, trying to stay calm.
"I don't want you to go."
"Go where?"
He frowned. "I don't want you to go away from me."
She chewed on her lip to delay a complicated question she didn't want to ask. "You mean you want a no-strings-no-commitments-no-promises kind of stay with?"
He rubbed his chin again, lowered his gaze to meet hers directly, stubbornly. "Yes, that's what I mean. I care for you, but I won't lie to you. Marriage isn't a possibility."
Could she do this? God, was she actually considering it? Was she beyond daft and into raving mad'?
Well, people had live-in relationships all the time. Maybe if they spent more time together, Rand would come to feel for her the way she did about him. But an "extended period of time" just didn't sound right. It was as if he were anticipating the end before they even began.
"I'd see to everything," he said, his tone crisp and businesslike. "Your financial needs. Those of your family. Everything would be taken care of."
Tessa froze for a moment. She couldn't even blink. On unsteady legs, she moved backward to sit heavily on the arm of a chair.
This couldn't be happening. What had she done to make him think she'd settle for so little? He made her feel so... so disposable. Like one of those cheap watches you buy and toss away when it stops. She might be rash, too curious for her own good, and independent to a fault, but no way was she cheap. And she sure as heck wasn't for sale.
She stood and stared at him. "You've just made the biggest mistake of your life, Fielding, and I think you should leave." She headed for the bureau where she kept what she laughingly called her clothes. She opened the first drawer, scooped out her T-shirts and dropped them on the bed. Her suitcase was in the closet, she went for it.
Rand strode over and blocked her path. He gripped her shoulders. When she shook him off, he dropped his hands. "What are you doing?" he asked.
She nodded toward the closet, looked at him as if he were the town imbecile. "Getting my suitcases. The usual first step before packing up."
"I take it my suggestion didn't sit well."
"Proposition is the better word, I think. And I'm not interested." She shoved at him. "Now if you'll please get out of my way, I'll get out of yours."
He stepped aside. She went into the closet, grabbed the last of her things and her two ratty suitcases. She tossed everything on her bed and opened the cases.
"You're being irrational. We need to talk about this."
She spun around. "Oh, right, now you want to talk! And what would that be about, signing some kind of contract, stating I'll fade quietly into the mist when you're done with me?" She crammed a mishmash of clothes into her suitcase and slammed it shut. She started to cry, angry, frustrated tears that scalded her cheek and her beaten-up heart.
"Tessa, please. Listen."
"No, you listen." She poked a finger in his chest. He didn't budge. "I made love with you because I wanted you, sure, but I also admired you—respected you." She lifted her chin. "I kind of hoped you felt the same way about me."
"Tessa—"
She held up a hand, determined to say her piece. "Then like the careless fool I am, I fell in love with you. If you'd said, 'let's try it together, Tessa, see if we can make it work,' I might have—" She waved a hand as if to brush that false hope away. "But no, you offer me some kind of... deal. I might love you, but that doesn't mean I'll settle for your—" the words snagged in her throat, ugly and unwanted, "—stupid money instead of you."
"This isn't about money."
"No?" Her voice rose. "I think it is. I think you want to have money on the table, so when we make love it's as meaningless as Griff sleeping with your wife. That's what you want, isn't it, Rand? To be as empty and morally bankrupt as your brother."
Tessa's hand flew to her mouth when she realized what she'd impulsively said. The room seemed to fill with arctic air. A muscle ticked in Rand's jaw, and his expression cooled to glacial.
"Rand, I'm—"
But he didn't give her a chance to retract. He was gone, not bothering to close the door behind him.
* * *
The following morning, Rand rolled out of bed at his usual time, just shy of six.
He strode to the shower, hoping it would pound enough energy into him to get him through the day.
Sometime in the next few hours, he had a company to flip and a cool forty million to pocket in the process. It was the biggest deal in Red Earth's history. He and Ned had worked on it for months. No way was he quitting now. Maybe he hadn't been up front with Cullen Macy, but the man would do well to learn how the game was played.
As for Tessa—
Rand slammed the shower off and just stood there, breathing heavily and dripping. Damn it! He'd spent the entire night telling himself to forget her, but it was useless.
Griff was dead. Rand knew that, because when his brother had died it was if he'd died with him.
Hell, he wished he
could
hate Griff for what he done. It'd be a lot easier. But every time he came close, he remembered things... like their first day of school, when Griff had given him hell for being scared, told him to walk in the room with him shoulder to shoulder. There wasn't anybody better than the Fielding boys, he'd said. He remembered their first stolen cigarettes, playing on the same baseball team, their first—and last—double date. The memories never stopped.
Growing older, their differences widened. Rand didn't understand Griff's need to prove himself to Boyd, but it didn't matter, because Griff was the brother he loved, always and unconditionally.
And while Griff gave his all to Red Earth, Rand went on to finish his medical internship, despite Boyd's vehement disapproval. "Who the hell needs a doctor in the family?" he'd roar. "Make one good Red Earth deal, and you can buy a dozen of them."
Red Earth deals.
The phrase snapped him back to reality. He looked at his watch, toweled off. He was due to meet Ned and Cullen Macy at his office in less than an hour. Focus. That's all he needed to do. Focus and keep his mind off Tessa. She was gone—his heart skipped a beat—and it was for the best. She was too young, too naive. A smart woman would have taken his deal.