Marian Keyes - Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married (51 page)

"Well, in that case, what are you talking about?"

"Lucy," he said sheepishly, "I was, er, you know wondering if..."

"What?"

"Would there be any chance...? You know...?"

"Any chance of what?"

"You'll probably think I have an awful nerve asking, but I love you so much and..."

"Daniel," I begged. "Please tell me what you're on about."

"You don't have to give me your answer straight away, or anything."

"My answer to what?" I pleaded.

"Take forever to think about it, as long as you like."

"To think about WHAT?" I yelled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to annoy you, but, it's just that, um, well, er..."

"Daniel, what are you trying to say?"

He paused, took a deep breath and blurted out, "Lucy Carmel Sullivan, will you marry me?"

Frank Erskine never came back to work either, he took early retirement and left without fanfare. Apparently he plays a lot of golf.

Adrian now only works weekends at the video shop because he's taking a film-making course, where I hope he meets a nice girl who knows her Walt Disney from her Quentin Tarantino.

Daniel's Ruth, the woman he was going out with before Karen, was in the News of the World for having sex with a politician.

Jed moved in with Meredia and they both seem to be blissfully happy. Despite his small stature he is very protective of large Meredia, and gets many opportunities to prove it.

Meredia's real name is Valerie and she's thirty-eight. I found out by ac- cident when I was called to Personnel for being late once too often. Her record file was just lying open in Blandina's filing cabinet and I couldn't help but see.

I haven't told Megan. In fact, I haven't told anyone.

608 lucy sullivan is getting married / 609

Charlotte still hasn't found a man to take her seriously and is talking about having a breast reduction. She is going to apply to study psychology. Just as soon as she's learned how to spell it.

Karen started going out with Simon shortly after Daniel and I got togeth- er, and the pair of them have matching His'n'Hers lifestyles. They buy a lot of expensive clothes and go to bars that have only been open a week and that are photographed for architectural magazines.

Dennis still hasn't found Mr. Right, although he's having a lot of fun looking. He had a bad knock when Michael Flatley left the cast of Riverd- ance, but he's over it now.

Megan is pregnant.

And Gus is the father. Apparently they've been together since the summer that I was allegedly going out with him. Megan even wrote Gus's farewell speech to me. Although I haven't seen Gus, I gather that imminent father- hood hasn't made him any less irresponsible. Poor Megan looks constantly exhausted and miserable. I feel really sorry for her and I'm not saying that in the way that you do when you don't feel sorry for the person at all and instead you really hate them. My heart genuinely goes out to her.

My mother is still living with Ken Kearns and they're like love-struck teenagers. Ken has new false teeth, they look like expensive, deluxe, top of the line ones. My mother looks younger and younger every time I see her. Soon they won't serve her in pubs. Mum and I have had a tentative reunion. And although we're not the best of pals yet, we're working on it.

My father is still drinking, but he's being taken care of. He has a social worker and home help. Chris, Peter and I take turns visiting him. Whenever it's my turn, Daniel comes with me, which is great because it means that Dad has to divide his insults between the two of us. I still feel 610 / marian keyes

guilty, I suppose I always will, but it's only guilt and it's not going to kill me.

Daniel keeps asking me to marry him. And I keep telling him to get lost. "Be practical," I say. "Who would give me away? Even if Dad didn't hate me he still wouldn't be sober enough to lurch up the aisle with me." But the real reason that I won't agree to marry Daniel is because I'm afraid of being jilted at the altar. I obviously haven't got used to a guy being nice to me yet. But Daniel says that he'll always love me and never leave me and that, short of lopping off his penis and presenting it to me in a jar of preser- vative, getting married is the most extreme thing he can think of to convince me of his unending devotion.

I've told him I'll think about it. The getting married part, I mean. Not the lopping off of his...oh, you know what I mean.

And if we do get married I want Mrs. Nolan as my matron of honor.

Daniel swears he loves me. He certainly acts as if he does.

And, you know, I'm halfway to believing him.

One thing I'm sure of, I love Daniel.

So, watch this space...

MARIAN KEYES is Irish, but lived in London for ten years before returning to Dublin. She is the author of six novels: Watermelon, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married, Rachel's Holiday, Last Chance Saloon, An- gels, and Sushi for Beginners.

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Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married "Keyes's tale is both hilarious and suspenseful, and so warmly told it feels just like comfy girltalk with a cherished friend."

--Booklist "The effervescent narrative is fueled by witty repartee.... Its sentiments are heartfelt and its progress sprightly."

--Publishers Weekly

Watermelon "A grand first novel.... A hilarious treatise on love's roller coasters.... A candid, irresistibly funny debut and perfect summertime read."

--Kirkus Reviews "Watermelon introduces readers to the trials and tribulations of an irresistible and suddenly single heroine."

--Houston Chronicle "An eccentric romantic comedy full of wicked good humour."

--New York Times Book Review

Rachel's Holiday "Irresistibly funny."

--Seattle Times "Compelling...genuinely satisfying...[a] delightful novel.... Rachel is an endearing character...hilarious and surprisingly charming."

--USA Today "Hilarious but poignant...a marvelous journey...a delightful page-turner.... Keyes's third novel is her most serious and yet her funniest."

--Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Last Chance Saloon "Wonderful.... Keyes is a master at fleshing out wacky young characters whom most of us would love to have as a best friend--charming and brave and flawed enough to feel validly human."

--Newark Star Ledger "Side-splitting...exciting until the very last page."

--Redbook

Angels

Watermelon

Rachel's Holiday

Last Chance Saloon

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