Maria's Trail (The Mule Tamer) (7 page)

She was just about to get down when something
moving off in the northwest caught her eye. She stared and then realized it was
some creature. It was Juana’s burro and it slowly plodded along, back to the
cave dwelling and its sibling, Maria’s donkey. Juana was not with it. It still
had on its bridle and blanket. Maria ran down to intercept it.

The creature was a little skittish and Maria
had to talk softly to calm it down. Its mane was covered with dried blood and
there were scrapes, long narrow slashes on its rump. She led the animal back to
the box canyon and quickly prepared her own burro. Within an hour she was gone,
on the trail to find Juana. 

She hadn’t gone far before she found some of
Juana’s clothes, also covered in blood. Further down the trail was one of her
blankets. It was here she found the remains of a camp. The fire was out and the
ashes were cold.

She could make out no direction in which the
campers had traveled and she couldn’t find any more evidence of Juana. She rode
along the most likely trail all day and found nothing. It was beginning to get
dark and she was forced to return to her cave. She hadn’t brought provisions
for an extended foray into the desert.

Maria didn’t hold out much hope for Juana now
anyway and thought it a worthless endeavor to follow up on whoever had caused
all the blood. She ate a little and did not bother with a fire. She got into
her bed and finally fell asleep.

After a time, she sensed a presence and sat up.
Juana was sitting in her bloody clothes and eating Maria’s leftovers. She
smiled at Maria. There was something very strange about her. She looked like a
dead person, very pale, her round face appearing to glow in the dark; her raven
tresses were almost too black to be natural against the porcelain skin. Maria
got up and sat next to her. She suddenly felt cold and got a fire going. The
whole time, Juana said nothing. Maria watched her eat.

Finally, Juana smiled and, lifting her chin,
leaned back and a gash opened wide across the width of her neck. “Look what the
son of a bitch did to me.”

Maria got closer. She could see it was a fatal
blow. “So, you are dead?”

“I guess.”

Maria looked at her hands and down into the
fire. She felt as she had when the old woman died. She looked back at Juana.
“Why are you here, then?”

“You need to sew this up for me.” She pointed
at her throat. “I can’t go around like this. And I need clean clothes. These
are a mess.”

Maria got her kit out, the one she got from the
nice lady by the sea, and began working on Juana’s throat. Before she could
start, Juana stopped her. “Use blue thread, Maria. I like blue.”

Maria changed the thread and worked on Juana’s
neck. She got some water and a rag and wiped the dried blood from her neck and
face and arms. She got her a new dress and handed it over. Juana stripped down
and threw her bloody outfit on the fire and, as it burned, the whole room lit
up and got very warm. “Are you in heaven, Juana?”

“I guess so.” Juana looked herself over and then
looked around the room. She found Maria’s old mirror, the one the old woman had
given her. She looked into it to survey the work Maria had done on her neck and
was satisfied. She turned the mirror over to Maria and regarded Maria’s
reflection as they both gazed into it. “This is the only one you can rely on,
Maria. Remember that.”

“Did the man who attacked us do this to you?”

“I don’t know.”

Juana stood up and brushed the back of her
dress off. “Thanks, Maria. Your sewing looks good.” She looked as if she was
preparing to go somewhere and Maria didn’t want her to leave. She suddenly
thought of a question.

“What’s it like?”

“Oh, it didn’t hurt. I just …, just died.”

“No, no. What’s heaven like?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s nice. I don’t know,
it’s more of a feeling, not like the world. I haven’t seen any people and I’m
not tired or hungry. Just nice.”

“You’ve not seen Jesus then?”

Juana laughed out loud, as if it was a silly
question. “Oh, no. None of that.” She began to drift away, away from the
firelight and then stopped. “You can’t stay here, Maria. You can’t be alone.
You’ll go mad.”

Maria looked at her. She felt desperate to say
something, but she was becoming very sleepy and she couldn’t think of anything
to say. She finally came up with some words. “Where will I go?”

“Go to the whores, Maria. You don’t have to be
one, but you need them. You need them.” Then she was gone.

Maria woke late. She awoke to hunger pangs as
she’d not eaten since early the day before. She looked around the room for
Juana but she wasn’t there. She missed her and wanted to cry. She’d never cried
before, even over the old woman, but she wanted to cry now. She suddenly
started crying and the tears ran down her cheeks and into her mouth and they
tasted salty. Her nose was running and she got tired of crying and stopped. She
wiped her face and blew her nose.

She occupied herself with chores and thought
about Juana some more. She kept looking for Juana but she was never there and
all the looking made her exhausted. She had to lie down. She never went to
sleep during the day but she had to now. She was so tired and had a horrible
headache. She awoke near sunset and climbed up to her lookout and watched as
the sun went down.

Maria felt a little better because the sky was
clear and the sunset beautiful. She watched as shadows were cast on the land
and daylight slowly turned to darkness. The sky became a beautiful deep purple
and, eventually, black and the stars were out again. Way off she heard coyotes
crying and it was a comforting sound.

She thought about Juana when the coyotes cried.
They were together, the coyotes, it was always that way. The animals, most of
them, liked to be together. She had thought at one point, before Juana became a
ghost, that she could always be alone, that it wouldn’t bother her, but Juana’s
words were haunting and she was suddenly lonely. She’d never been lonely up to
this point in her life but now she was and it was a sad feeling. The ghost of
Juana was right. She could not stay here, in her lovely cave, all alone. When
Juana wasn’t a ghost it was all right. She didn’t need a huge clan, but she
needed another human being. Juana’s ghost was right.

She ate and got ready for bed. She had no
companionship and decided to bring the burros into the cave. They were such
good burros, they always did what she wanted, and as long as they were
together, they didn’t mind where they spent the night.

Soon they became acclimated to their new
sleeping quarters and lay down like a couple of oversized dogs, at the foot of
Maria’s bed. She felt better hearing other beings breathing, living, nearby and
this let her fall quickly to sleep. She hoped that Juana would visit her again
as she missed her desperately.

Halfway through the night, Juana was there. She
was eating again and the burros didn’t stir. She waited for Maria to sit down
across from her at the fire ring before addressing her.

Juana looked at the burros. “It stinks of these
beasts in here, Maria.”

“They’re not so bad.”

“Why’d you bring them in?”

Maria shrugged.

“I know and so do you. You’re lonely. You’re
going to go mad, Maria. You’ve got to leave.”

“I’m …, I don’t know the way.”

Juana ate crumbs from her skirt. “It’s easy.
Just follow the road north. It’ll take you right to the town. Once you’re
there, go to the whores. It’s going to be okay, Maria. See the one with yellow
hair. You remember her.”

“What’s her name?”

Juana shrugged.

“You don’t know her name?”

“I’ve forgotten.”

Maria looked at Juana’s neck and the sutures of
blue thread were gone. She was surprised at this.

“I know.” She tilted her head back to give
Maria a good view. “All healed.” She stood up and smiled at Maria. “I’ve got to
go now, Maria. And you do, too. Go before the rains come. It will be good. I
promise it will be good.” She looked around the cave and then at Maria. “This
is no place for you, Maria.” She was gone.

For the next few days, Juana didn’t visit her
and Maria spent her time making baskets and talking to the burros who were very
companionable. They’d now become familiar with the new routine and would let
themselves in and out of the cave as they pleased. Every evening, just at
sundown, they returned to Maria’s bedchamber and settled in for the night.
Maria mucked out the cave every day and added it to her list of chores. She
didn’t mind as it kept her occupied.

She awoke to heavy rain and thought how nice
her cave was now. It kept her dry, not like the hovel she shared with the old
woman. Every time it rained there, it was miserable because the structure had a
horrible roof and all their things would get wet. She’d have to lie under a wet
blanket and it was so hot and steamy that it would make sleeping impossible.
The cave was not like that at all and she fell back to sleep listening to the
rain and the sound of rolling thunder off in the distance. Every now and again
a lighting flash would light up the cave, but not even the burros cared one way
or another. They were all safe and dry.

By morning the rain was still coming down and
Maria regretted disappointing Juana. She was certain she’d get a visit from
her, admonishing her for not going to the whores by now. She couldn’t say that
she actually liked Juana’s visits. They were scary and she didn’t like talking
to the dead. It was not natural for Juana to be roaming about as a ghost, but she
did enjoy the conversations with her. She liked, even perhaps, loved Juana very
much and missed her terribly. Now she’d have to wait for the rain to stop and
this gave her some time. She didn’t have to worry about what to do as she could
do nothing until the rains were gone.

Maria heard a great rushing sound and decided
to investigate. Suddenly she started to run as she realized her treasure cache
was in danger. The water under the cave had become a great rushing river and
had risen above the height of her secret ledge. She arrived to see the water
steadily rising and, without giving it any thought, jumped in. The current was
horrendous and she found herself being swept away.

Maria fought with all her might and made it
across. Everything was gone. The ledge was empty. She held onto the ledge and
looked back at the other side. She didn’t want to try to get back. A wave of
panic hit her and she clamped onto the ledge, frozen, unable to move.

Maria knew she had to move, knew she could not
stay where she was. The water was cold and she was getting numb. Soon she
wouldn’t be able to make her legs move and the water was getting steadily
higher. She thought about what she had to do.

If she didn’t get back across, the water would
soon press her against the roof of the cave and she’d drown. Taking a deep
breath, she pushed off with all her might. She felt herself being sucked
downward, down as if the river was running into a giant drain. She wondered if
she would soon be dead, would she join Juana. They’d be together, but perhaps
not. She was a pagan and Juana was not. Maybe she wouldn’t go where Juana was
and then she’d be alone again.

Maria was becoming lightheaded and she wasn’t
certain where to swim. She was fading. Finally, looking up, she saw a light and
could see Juana standing in a little doorway at the foot of the steps. She was
reaching for Maria.

Maria found the bottom and pushed off, using
the last bit of energy she had. Finally, she was there, on the other side and
could pull herself out of the water. She was safe and Juana was gone.

She made a fire and warmed up as she considered
her situation. Now she had no money. She had plenty of food and the burros, but
no fortune. She couldn’t wait it out until she was old enough to find a man and
settle down like the nice lady by the sea told her to do. She was back to
square one and she thought she might just have to stay in the cave
indefinitely. At least she was out of the elements and could survive. She had
enough to keep herself alive.

She thought about all this until she fell
asleep and Juana woke her again.

“Well, you’ve done it now.” Juana was eating.

“I know.”

“You should have left before the rains. I told
you that.”

“I’m sorry.”

Juana smiled, like a parent scolding a child.
“Oh well. At least you’re alive.”

Maria sat and wondered what to do. Juana
continued. “You still need to go to the whores. You’ve got the burros and your
lamps and blankets and things. You can sell all that and live. You can find
work with the whores. You don’t need to be one. You can do the washing and
you’re a pretty good cook.”

Juana continued to give her advice but Maria
didn’t hear her. She was too tired and drifted off to sleep.

After a while the rains finally stopped. During
this time Maria did a lot of thinking. She still wouldn’t go to the whores. She
didn’t like the brothel and there was something about the mean man calling her
a whore’s spawn, something so hateful in his voice that she resolved not to be
with them. She didn’t want to be a whore and, despite Juana’s declarations that
this would not happen, she was sure it would be only a matter of time. She
knew, already, at a young age, that she was remarkably beautiful and she’d grow
into a beautiful woman and the whores and the whores’ customers wouldn’t leave
her alone. She was certain of this, knew it in her heart and she would not take
such a path. She would never, no matter how bad things got, become a whore.

She thought a lot about the pretty assistant by
the sea. The sea was the most beautiful place she’d ever seen, even more
beautiful than the desert at sunset and she thought that, even if the fence
wouldn’t let her live there, she’d have enough money to live somewhere by the
sea. Maybe she’d find a cave there, like the one she had now and she’d live in
the cave and she could find things by the sea to eat and sell. She could make
baskets and the pretty assistant would buy them from her to sell in the fence’s
shop.