Authors: A. M. Hudson
I nodded. “So, it’s like David told me—Thomas believed Jason was the devil’s incision of David’s soul—all the bad things in one boy?”
Arthur nodded. “And, sadly, Jason never pitied himself this. He believed he was responsible for killing Elizabeth—never questioned it.”
I thought of a little boy; green eyes, dark hair, so small, playing quietly by a fire. Perhaps he felt content, perhaps he felt no evil in his soul, and often wondered how he could have done such terrible things before he had even taken his first breath. But this was what they told him. This was what he was. “It’s not true, is it—he wasn’t evil?”
“
My lady, there was no more evil in that child than there was love.” Arthur’s head rolled down a little, a tight breath leaving his nostrils. “Jason, somehow, was perceived the adversary at every turn, but the true monster was that which created his fury.”
“
His father?”
He looked up at me. “In the beginning, yes, but when David and Jason became men, I often wondered if Thomas’ own soul had taken the heart from David—lived on in him. And in the end…”
“
Jason was the monster.”
Arthur was taken aback, but softened quickly, nodding. “Then they both were.”
“
No. Not David. I know he regretted everything. I know he was sorry for how he treated Jason.”
“
What do you know of it?”
“
I…” I looked away from Arthur. “Nothing. David never talked with me about it, but I saw it in his eyes once, when I mentioned Jason—I saw the pain of regret.”
“
And you forgive David for the way he treated Jason?”
“
It’s not my place to forgive.”
“
Is it not—when everything you suffered began from the seed of David’s hatred?”
I swallowed a hard lump in my throat. “Then, yes, I guess I do forgive him. I guess I forgave him a long time ago.”
“
But you have no forgiveness in your heart for Jason?”
“
What does it matter? He’s dead.”
“
As is David, but you feel the need to justify what he did.”
“
I loved him.”
“
And from that, you understand him.”
I nodded. “He had a good heart, Arthur—despite what he did to his brother.”
“
Yes, we all contain good. But good is beheld only until loneliness manifests itself for too long in the hurt and the broken. Jason started out good, and died doing what was right. You cannot rightly love one beast
and deny
the other.”
“
One beast killed my husband—the other didn’t.”
“
No, my dear, venom killed your husband. Jason was merely the subject who was ordered to oversee it.”
“
He could have said no. He could’ve let someone else do it.”
“
And you would have had your cheeks sliced open for disobeying when you refused to bite David.”
My mind flashed back to that room—to David, on his knees, an inch away from death at my hands. I shuddered.
“
The fact remains—sometimes, good people must do bad things. Jason was good; David was good.” Arthur looked away. “And I will never fill the emptiness their absence has left in my heart.”
I realised then, that the question of my love and forgiveness for these two men was not a question for me at all, but for himself. “You wonder if you should love them—after what they’ve done?”
“
I have asked myself that question.” He nodded. “And the answer is always,
that which does not deserve love, perhaps needed it the most
.”
The sparkle of tears in his eyes made me want to tell him, right then, that his nephew was still alive—that he need not grieve him. But, for the sake of a stupid prophecy and the belief of my private council that he was a traitor, I had to let this man suffer. We talked about good versus bad, but I wondered if, by allowing him to grieve someone who was not dead, it made
us
the monsters.
“
Don’t question yourself, Arthur, for loving them. One thing I’ve learned, through all those I loved and lost, is you don’t get to choose what your heart feels. It runs by a set of its own rules.”
“
That, it does.” He reached out and took my hand. “And you are too young to have this wisdom. It saddens my heart, the things you have suffered to be able to conclude such philosophy.”
“
It’s okay.” I squeezed his hand, thankful for the warmth of friendship I felt with him. “We find new people to love, and make our lives about them, right?”
He laughed at that. “This is also true. A piece of wisdom, I believe, my David taught you?”
I smiled widely; it felt nice to know someone who knew him like I did—who loved him, too. “Yes, it was.”
“
He was a boy of many thoughts, himself. Shared very little with others, though. You were the first.”
“
I know.” I took a deep breath and rubbed my temples then, as the day ahead entered my mind.
“
Is something else troubling you, young princess?”
“
Just a headache. It’s only mild, but I have them so often now I feel like a new person when I don’t.”
He moved suddenly, but I felt him behind me; the length of his body close to mine, as he cupped one hand around my ponytail, gently sliding my hairtie down the silky lengths until it all came loose. “Better?”
“
Yeah. Heaps better.”
“
Good,” he said, and each strand tingled along the base of my neck, my forehead and behind my ears, his deft fingers separating then twisting them into a loose plait. “You need to tie it up for training, or you may end up getting your head pinned to the ground by some knight’s knee. But this should be enough.”
I turned when he finished, and ran my fingers down the plait, resting it over my shoulder. “Thanks, Arthur.”
“
You are welcome, my dear.” He stood a little taller and his eyes narrowed as he looked into the gardens. “You best be going. Someone is looking for you.”
He looked small from this high up, that knightly figure charging across the grounds, but his bulk frame and hair shining yellow in the morning light could not be mistaken for any other man. “I’m late for training.”
“
He looks irate.”
“
He probably is. He’s probably gonna make me run laps until I fall over.”
“
Well,” Arthur said, offering the doorway, “we best be moving then. Can’t have you being punished for my keeping you.”
“
It’s not the laps I’m afraid of—” I rolled my eyes. “It’s the lecture.”
“
Lecture?”
“
About…”
Being alone with you.
“About being late.”
“
I’m sure you can charm your way out of a lecture.”
“
You don’t know Mike very well, then,” I scoffed. “He’s resistant to my charms.”
As I turned away, Arthur grabbed my wrist gently. “Take care out there today, Princess. I will drop by to watch you train later, but, in the meantime, keep your wits about you—watch closely for anyone who watches you too closely and do not spar with any knight you feel you can’t trust.”
“
Are you worried there’s a mole?” I almost laughed.
“
That, I am.” He released my wrist. “Once I arrive, you needn’t worry too much, but I have a few things to take care of before I come down. Just be careful, please.”
I nodded. “Mike will be there. I’ll be fine.”
Arthur seemed amused by that. “Very well.”
I closed his door behind me and after four steps, enough to be directly in the middle of the corridor again and not so close to looking like I was alone with Arthur, Mike popped around the corner. “Ara!”
“
Morning, Mike.”
“
Baby, where have you been? I sent my knights up to collect you over an hour ago. Edgar told them you were getting dressed, but now they report back that you’re not even in your room.”
“
I was in the shower.”
“
Ara, they looked in there.” He smiled conceitedly. “Where’ve you been?”
“
I went down to the kitchen.”
He looked at Arthur’s door then back at me. “Kitchen, huh?”
“
Yes.” I pushed past him. “What is your problem?”
“
You know damn well what my problem is.” He grabbed my arm, stopping me as I reached the stairwell. “I told you not to spend time alone with him.”
“
Who?”
“
Don’t play dumb with me, Ara. I know you were in his room. I can smell him all over you.”
I shrunk a little. “Well, I can do what I want.”
“
Yes, you can—except be alone with him.”
I yanked my arm from his grip. “You can’t stop me from having friends.”
“
Ara, grow up. I’m not trying to stop you from having friends, but you know we can’t trust him. He was Drake’s right hand man for—”
“
He’s not a mole, Mike,” I yelled, loud enough that Arthur probably heard. “He just wants to help.”
“
Yeah.” Mike laughed sarcastically. “Help himself—to
you
.”
“
Mike? Don’t be such a jerk.”
He dropped his arms to his sides, huffing loudly. “I’m sorry, Ara. I just—”
“
You just what?”
“
I hate that guy. He waltzes in here like he owns the place—tells me how to do my job, how to look after you, then wanders off with you and keeps you to himself all afternoon. I’m your best friend, and I waited so long to have you here, and now you are, I’m practically barred from seeing you, but those rules don’t apply to
him
.”
I clicked my tongue, folding my bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. “Aw, poor baby’s jealous.”
His mouth split into a grin, laughter coming out in one breath. “Quiet, you, or I’ll pair with you for sparring and give you a right smack on the bottom.”
“
Ha! Good luck. I’m faster than you.”
He laughed and took my hand. “Come on, how ‘bout I show you this training hall I’ve been talking about for the last two months.”
Mike walked beside me, and the soft rain fell around us, making the countryside smell sweet, like cut grass and sugar. My mouth watered. It was a little colder on the coast for a summer, though, than it was inland. I wrapped my arms around myself to hide from the breeze as we stepped out of the trees and into a grassy clearing.
“
How’s training been going with Emily over the last few weeks?” Mike asked from a step or two ahead. “She told me you’ve become quite a little expert with a sword.”
I shrugged. “A bit.”
“
I ‘spose the ballet classes help there—given that fencing’s really a balance and grace thing.”
“
Probably. Or just that I’m super cool.”
He laughed. “Let’s see how you do with a gun then.”
“
A gun? We have guns?”
“
Not yet, but we will.”
“
What for?”
“
Venom-filled bullets. Vampires are fast, but even they can’t stop venom infecting them if they don’t catch the bullet.”
“
Cool. When do we get the guns?”
“
In about a month or so. I’m putting a team of marksmen together.”
“
Awesome. Do I get firearms training?”
“
Uh, no.”
“
Why?”
“
Because ninety-eight percent accuracy on Halo does not give you the same skill out here in the real world. And besides, your dad would kill me if I put a gun in your hand.”
“
Really?” I said sarcastically. “You’re afraid of my dad? We have a blood-hungry psychopath after us, and you’re afraid of my dad?”
He smirked. “Ara, you know what it’s like to sit under the glare of his disappointment.”
I shook my head. “And you think
I
have daddy issues.”
He laughed. “Baby, you
do
have daddy issues.”
Hmpf!
I folded my arms.
“
Anyway, back to the issue at hand—stop distracting me,” he warned, with a smile. “How are you going with the speed thing? Emily said you’d pretty much taken a step backward—so to speak.”
“
Yeah. I get dizzy.” I rubbed my head. “I tried to flip out of Emily’s reach the other day and ended up in the lake—saturated.”
Mike burst out laughing, covering his nose for a second. “She didn’t tell me that.”
Heat washed over my head, rising from the chest up. “I asked her not to.”
“
I got the full story of your sparring with David, though. He talked you up a bit, I think.”
“
No, he just went easy on me.”
He held back his amusement. “I know. Well, so we need to work on your combat methods with vampires, but, today you can spar with humans, so it should be a piece of cake.”
“
You think I need a self-esteem boost, huh?”
“
We can all use a little encouragement sometimes.”
“
By fighting those weaker than us?”
“
Weaker than
you
,” he said, and laughed. “But I wouldn’t be so sure you’ll win, baby. These guys might be human, but they’re Special Ops, most of them. They’re damn good at what they do.”