Authors: A. M. Hudson
I looked right into his eyes then, both of us seeing truths about each other we didn't want to see, and my legs moved out from under me; I wanted to sink down and curl into a ball, but he held me up, leaning on my body with so much weight my lungs couldn’t draw a breath. “I didn't do anything with him, Mike.”
“
Bullshit!” He walked away again. I sat on the floor, looking at the exit then my best friend. “Ara, you can't lie to me.”
“
I'm not lying. I…All I remember is getting down here and then I threw up.”
He appeared beside me, squatting, lifting my face. “If that's true, then why are your clothes over there on the floor?”
I looked over at them, my lie falling apart before my eyes.
“
You stupid little slut,” he said through his teeth and snapped his hand across my cheek.
I squealed, slowly touching my fingers to it, swiping my hair away from my lip.
“
Do you know what this will do to him? Do you!” He grabbed me again, shaking me. “He will hate you, Ara. He will never touch you again, he—” His words stopped and he jerked backward, cool air rushing between us as he skidded into the wall across the room.
“
Back down, or I will put you in a permanent state of vegetation!” Jason pointed at him, coming up out of nowhere.
Mike sat up, clutching his jaw, then stumbled to his feet. I saw the same shock I was feeling become present in his eyes; he looked down at his hands, and I turned away, burying my face in Jason’s shoulder as he squatted beside me.
“
Baby. I'm sorry,” Mike said, and when I looked up again, he was gone.
“
Ara?” Jason covered me with his jacket.
“
I can’t do it, Jase. I can't.”
“
Can’t do what?”
“
What kind of a person am I?” I whispered to myself. “I couldn't even…I just couldn't…”
I felt his hands on me, trying to comfort me, but my breath became too thin, my head swirling as the sound in the room rang through my ears in a high-pitched tone.
I opened my eyes and smiled, turning my head away. “Don't look at me like that.”
“
Like what?” Jason jumped up from the chair by my bed and came to sit right against my hip.
“
Like you're really concerned.”
He stroked his thumb over my cheek. “He hit you.”
“
It was a tiny slap,” I said, pulling his hand away. “And I kinda had it coming.”
“
No.” He shook his head. “You’ve been through enough. He had no right to touch you that way. I will
skin
him alive.” He closed his eyes in emphasis of the word.
“
I'm okay,” I said.
“
But you shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t brush this off like it doesn't matter, Ara. He is ten times bigger than you, and he—”
“
I've got bigger things to worry about right now, Jase.” I rolled away, pulling the blanket up over my shoulder. “Just let it go.”
He swept my hair back, pressing his lips firmly to the side of my head. “I love you, Ara. I won't let this go. But we’ll talk about it in the morning.”
“
Jase?”
“
Shh.” He tucked me in a little tighter. “Just sleep.”
“
No.” I rolled over and shoved the blanket back. “Let it go. Mike didn't mean to do that. He’s…I mean…look what I put him through. This was just the final straw, okay. He clearly can't take anymore of…well,
me
.”
He sighed and turned away, lowering his head to his hands. “I understand that, Ara, probably better than you might think, but he’s not just your friend anymore; he's head of security. No matter what you do or have done, he should have more self-control than to have slapped you.”
“
It was a little tap.” I smirked.
He turned his head to look out from behind his hands. “You’re kidding me, right?”
I shook my head. “Jase. Go to bed. You look tired.”
He sighed. “I am tired.”
“
Did you sleep at all last night?”
He stiffened a little. “What would make you think I hadn't slept?”
“
You know already, Jase, you can read my mind.” I reached across and touched his arm. “How long have you been having those night terrors?”
His eyes narrowed and he studied me carefully. “You…so you
did
see that dream?”
I nodded.
He sunk back, exhaling.
“
Are they always that bad—the dreams?” I asked.
“
Yes.”
“
I'm sorry.”
“
Ara, please don't—just…don't say you’re sorry.
I'm
sorry. I'm the one who—”
“
No.” I grabbed his hand and tucked it against my locket. “All of that’s in the past. I know what you did for me. I know it was to protect me, Jase, I forgave you a very,
very
long time ago.”
“
I know.”
“
No, you don't. It hurts me for you to feel such deep regret. You’re punishing yourself for something you had no control over.”
He drew his hand away from mine. “I just…”
“
Jase. It’s. In. The. Past,” I said slowly to make it clear as a bell. “Stop dreaming about it.”
“
To do that, I’d have to stop sleeping.”
I rolled my eyes. “How ‘bout you come visit me in our sleep again instead. We’ll make some nice dreams for you.”
“
I'm not sure it’s really appropriate for us to be alone like that, Ara.”
“
I know. But I can't have you reliving that torture every night. I won't. Not to mention, if I'm slipping into your dreams somehow, I don't really want to be seeing that every time I close my eyes, either.”
He kind of laughed, looking boyish and sweet. “Okay. No more nightmares then.”
“
Good,” I said in a business-like tone. “Now, I have question for you.”
“
Shoot.”
“
The mind-links?”
“
Mm?”
“
Did…” I tried not to smile. “Did you visit me—in our dreams—while you were supposedly dead?”
His smile grew. “Maybe. Once or twice.”
“
I knew it.” I slapped my covers then looked back at him. “So…the yellow dress.”
He cleared his throat. “Yes, I…figured I owed you a new dress—since I ruined the blue one.”
“
Ha! I can't believe
you
just said that.”
He shrugged timidly.
“
And, what about the memories? Did you leave mind-blocks in place, or were you actually in those dreams with me, showing me all those things yourself?”
“
Many of those were memories—things we did before…” His voice trailed off. “I never placed mind-blocks. I
erased
those things, but only enough to hide them from a human mind. As you grew stronger, your brain lifted the sheet.”
“
Sheet? But you said you erased them.”
“
Nothing can ever truly be erased from a mind. It’s like a hard drive—unless you have some pretty high-tech equipment, there’s always an imprint left behind.”
“
Right. So, all those things you showed me about your childhood—”
“
You asked. I answered.”
I nodded. “Did you want me to hate David?”
He laughed. “It’d be nice if you did. But, no. I did and
do
want you to know what he’s like, though.”
“
What do you mean?”
He looked at my cheek and wiped his thumb over it. “You have such a forgiving heart that, well, now I'm sure you’d forgive David if he struck you in anger—and his strike would
not
be a tiny slap.”
“
You only say that because you think I'm going to let Mike get away with it.”
“
No, I say that because my brother can seem to do no wrong. I’ve seen him raise his voice at you, and you only blame yourself—tell yourself not to push him. Ara, that’s a recipe for a submissive nineteen-fifties abused housewife. I just don't want to see you crying on a kitchen floor, punished because the Pavlova sunk, and, sweet girl, I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“
You don't think very highly of him, do you?”
“
I love my brother. I do. But I know him—inside and out, and he’s old fashioned. He doesn't see anything wrong with disciplining his wife. It’s not a personality fault; it’s a time corruption.”
“
He’d never hit me, Jase.”
He softened, stroking his thumb gently down my cheek again. “Neither would Mike.”
I pushed his hand away. “And David would never even do that much.”
“
I hope not. And I hope, if he ever does, you would come to me—you would see it as an error on his part, and not just think yourself the problem.”
“
I wouldn’t. Okay? I know it might seem like I let him get away with being all controlling and forceful, but if he ever did anything to me that I didn't like, I’d leave. I have a no-strike policy with men, Jase. If he hits me, even once, he’s gone, because that’s not love.”
“
I
hit you.”
My heart sunk. “Jase. Don't. Okay? Just stop feeling guilty. Look—” I sighed. “Okay, you hit me, you’re a bastard. I hate you.” I grinned.
He rocked his jaw, swiping his thumb across a tear on his cheek. “You were just so small and precious. Every strike felt as if you’d snap, shatter, like porcelain. I—” He cleared his throat, his voice breaking. “I hit as softly as I possibly could, but I—”
I placed my hand over his, bringing him back from the world he’d slipped away to. “Don't go there anymore. Just, when you think about it, go to a place where we were happy, instead.”
He flipped his hand over under mine and wound our fingers together. “Only if I can take you there with me.”
I nodded, tightening my hold. “I will go anywhere, do anything to make you okay again. It kills me that you’re stuck in that torture without me, Jase. I'm okay. I'm here. I'm alive, and I…” I knew what I wanted to say, but couldn't let myself say it. Not ever. “I care about you. A
lot
. So, please, just…just don’t go back there anymore. Move on. Leave it behind where it belongs—in the past.”
“
See—” He moved forward and sat closer, tucking my hair behind my ear. “This is why I love you. Look how easily you can heal my heart. See how effortless it is for you to take my terrors away.” He shook his head looking down at his hand. “I just…I don't know where I’d be if I’d not found you.”
I laughed. “What do you mean?”
He looked up from our hands. “No one has ever cared so much before—to want to take my pain away and see that I dream of things that don't leave scars when I wake.”
I stroked his dimple with my thumb. “I'm sorry you never found a girl who would see you the way I do.”
His hand tightened even more on mine. “But I did find one.”
I smiled softly at him, attempting to hide the sympathy. “Yes, but, I want you to have love—like David and I do. I want you to find your eternal person.”
He chuckled. “Eternal person?”
“
Yeah.”
“
Well, I found her. I'm just waiting for her to realise we were made for each other, then I get my happy ending.”
I pulled my hand free. “That won't happen.”
“
I know.” He cupped his hands in his lap, nodding. “But eternity is a very long time. I can hope that, one day, you’ll feel the way I do.”
“
If you really do care for me, then you won't think like that. Because, for all the confusion I have in my heart, I only want David.”
His head bounced in a kind of nod—to himself, I think. He took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay. Then I hope you never love me. I hope you and David live eternally happy lives together.”
“
Liar.”
We both laughed.
“
I'm trying, Ara. I do want what's best for you. And if that's my brother, then, in my heart, he's who I want you to be with.”
“
Then you should stop touching me like your girlfriend. If he saw that, he’d be really pissed.”
“
Yeah, I know.” He moved his hands off my body. “Sorry.”
“
It’s okay.”
“
Hey, can I ask you something?” He sat back on the chair beside my bed.
“
Yeah.”
“
Why didn't you demand I give your ring back?”
I frowned. “I didn't know that was an option.”
“
Ara, you never sit by and let things happen if you don't approve. If you wanted that ring, you’d have stomped your foot until I gave it to you. So, why didn't you?”
I stared at him for a second. “You're reading into it too much.”
“
Am I?” With a boyish grin, he reached for my hand, pressed my wedding band into my palm and folded my fingers around it. “Or are you just not telling me what you really think?”
I rolled over again, slipping the ring back in place. “Go away, Jason. You don't know anything about me.”
“
Oh, don't know anything about you, huh?” He pulled the blanket away, his voice light with humour. “I know your ticklish spot.”