Marked by Death (The Godhunter, Book 4) (9 page)

“Would you like to sit here or we could…”

“
Here’s fine,” I took the proffered mug and quickly chose a seat, pulling the furs around me.

“
Vervain,” oh shit, he looked hurt. “You know you’re safe with me.”

“
Of course I do,” I took a sip of the mead, sighing as it warmed me for one blessed moment. “And you know I’m not afraid of you… not exactly.”

“
We have to do something about this,” instead of returning to his seat, he crouched down in front of mine. “We won’t have much time alone but I’d like to make use of what we do have.”

I told you so,
a smooth voice sang in my head. I pushed it away.

“
Odin,” I took a tremulous breath and put down the mug. “You know I won't betray Trevor.”

“
I’m not asking you too,” he brushed my hair back gently, frowning a little but making no comment on the chill of my skin. “I just want to hold you, touch you, maybe we can find a way to ease this ache we both feel, without betraying your wolf.” He stood up and held out a hand. “Will you give it a try?”

I looked at his large hand and the slippery slope it represented. It wasn’t a good idea. Things could get carried away way too quickly but I wanted it so bad, wanted him to just hold me, maybe kiss me. Was that so wrong?
Yes
. I thought of Trevor holding another woman, kissing her, and my throat constricted.

“
I promise to just hold you. People get as much contact from dancing. There’s nothing shameful or deceitful about it.” His one eye shivered with iridescent colors, first blue, then purple, and then green. So beautiful, it made me wish he’d never given up his other eye. But then I wouldn't be there to enjoy them, would I? If it wasn't for Odin's sacrifice, I wouldn't be there and Trevor wouldn't have me either. Was getting to hold me really too much to ask? I took Odin's hand, still enthralled by his beautiful eye, and he swung me off my feet and into his arms.

Before I knew what was happening, we were in our old room, the familiarity of ancient books, tree top views, and a raging sunken fire, all shouting home to me. I sighed as he laid me out on the massive bed, a room in itself really, with steps leading up to it, massive posters holding thick drapes, and a built in dresser at the foot. My body sunk back into the furs and he quickly covered it with his. His scent filled my head, wild and fresh, like standing on a cliff.

“Odin,” I had a moment of panic when I felt him pressing intimately against me.

“
I won’t do anything you don’t want me to,” he kissed my forehead and rolled to the side, bringing me with him and tucking my body in against his. He sighed then, a sound of complete satisfaction, of relief.

I felt his hand skim over my arm, pushing up my sleeve so he could feel more flesh. He suddenly sucked in his breath and sat up, pulling me with him. I looked at him with wide eyes, knowing exactly what was wrong.

“I thought maybe you were chilled from our cool weather here,” he looked at me intently. “But you’re cold everywhere, Vervain. Has the mark spread so far?”

“
Yes,” it was a whisper, a breath of sound, but it conveyed my fear to him easily and completely.

“
No,” he pulled me in tight against him. “I won’t lose you again, not to death. I paid the price for you to live. I paid it twice. He can’t have you.”

I already do,
taunted the voice inside me.

“
I’ve searched my spell books,” I said into his chest. “I can’t find anything to stop it.”

“
Vervain,” he moaned and pulled me back down again.

He wrapped us in the thick pelts that covered the bed, rubbing my arms fiercely to try and battle the cold. Then his hands were everywhere, briskly and desperately warming me. With an anguished cry, he tore off his tunic and yanked my dress off me, so he could press his flesh to mine and surround me with his heat.

“Odin,” I stroked his long brown hair, admiring the golden highlights, “my sweet raven.” He looked up at that, meeting my resigned gaze with his hopeful one. “You can’t fight this. All we can do is wait and see.”

“
No,” he moaned, burying his face in my hair and holding my cold flesh defiantly.

He suddenly shot out of the bed and ran over to the wall of shelves filled with ancient spell books. He pulled down a stack and sat on the floor, flipping through their pages like a madman. I snuggled deeper into the furs and watched him as the cold crept up and began to cover my heart.

An hour later, I was completely numb and Odin was surrounded by his entire collection of books. He looked up after closing the last of them and met my eyes. His face was etched with despair and there was a small flicker of pain within me in answer to it, but then it was absorbed, iced over, and I felt nothing.

He stood up and came back to bed, sliding under the covers and pulling me close. I went into his arms without comment, all my emotions were gone, including any guilt I might have felt for allowing Odin to touch me. Horus had been right, Anubis had taken my soul. I could feel its absence like a hollowness throughout my entire body and then something else occurred to me.

I looked and looked, closing my eyes and searching every dark corner of myself but she was nowhere to be found. I saw my lioness, my wolf, my butterflies and my other magic but they were skittish, snapping at each other and even staring at me with suspicion, and I knew why. My Nahual was gone.

My beautiful white jaguar, the magic that was me, my animal twin, had been taken. I'd always known she was me, the epitome of my magic as a human, but I hadn't realized that she represented far more than that, that my human magic wasn't just magic, it was my soul. And now it belonged to Death.

I should have been scared. I should have been frantic, wondering how my other magic would behave without her controlling presence. I should have been terrified that I was no longer whole, no longer had control over myself, no longer
was
myself. But I felt nothing.

Odin must have sensed something had changed because he pulled back and stared hard at me. His hand came to my face, slid down my neck, and then, very slowly, it crested my breast. I waited passively, looking up at him expectantly but without concern. He sucked in his breath and squeezed me gently, rubbing my nipple with his palm.

I inhaled sharply. Pleasure. I
felt
pleasure and I wanted more. My emotions were gone, my heart cold and soulless, but
this
I could feel and I needed it to bring me back. His touch brought something to life, something tingly and warm. I wanted that warmth so badly. So I let his hand push the lace of my bra down and watched as his mouth covered me. The heat of his tongue swirling around me made me arch up and cry for more.

“
Odin,” I held him too me. “More, quickly, give me more.”

He growled low in his throat and a tingle danced through the air, magic surrounding us and flinging our clothes away. I was so cold but he was on fire, his magic stroking me where his hands couldn’t reach. It was working, the numbness was falling back, and I writhed in need.

“Vervain,” he raised his face, his body straining with the effort to control himself. “Tell me to stop. Say it now and I will, but it must be now!”

“
Don’t stop, raven,” I pulled his face to mine and kissed him with all the passion I’d been denying. His close-cropped beard stroked my face softly but his lips were rough on mine. “Fill me up and make me feel again.”

“
I love you,” his kisses outlined my face. “I will always love you.”

“
Then show me,” I cried desperately. “Show me now!”

He entered me swiftly, inhaling sharply as his heat battled my chill, but he didn’t stop. He slammed into me till our hips met and he could go no further. His passionate cry surrounded me as he filled me and I clung to him, rubbing myself against him, seeking heat and pleasure with mindless abandon.

His lips descended to mine again as he started to pump furiously in and out of me, driving his hips against mine like a punishment for all the years he’d been denied. I wrapped my legs around him, my hands sliding over his huge, muscled body, trying to touch every part of him, needing his love, hoping it would bring back some spark of emotion in my own heart.

Nothing. My heart remained empty even as he filled my body, his magic stroking every inch of my skin, feeling like lips and tongues, strong fingers and silky hair. He loved every inch of me all at once, stroked desire over my entire body, but couldn’t touch my heart. I should have cried or screamed but even that was gone, all that remained was sensation. So I lifted my hips to meet his and chased the sweet rush of delight.

Odin sat back, pulling me up with him, so I straddled his lap. The motion pushed him even deeper and I welcomed him with a hoarse cry. His magic lifted me and plunged me back down onto him, over and over, while invisible tongues licked at my skin. My eyes closed of their own volition, my head fell back, and my hands reached into his hair to steady myself. I needed to feel the center of the storm, to know there was still solid ground somewhere.

Then I let go.

Tongues licked up my spine, hands kneaded my flesh, and as I approached my that sweet, screaming moment, a magical mouth covered my most sensitive flesh and sucked it wetly, sending me shooting into orgasm. My legs clenched around him and I screamed as he roared and reared up into me, shaking until he was spent and then laying us both down carefully.

“
Vervain, I love you. Thank you for this.” Odin’s arm was across me but his heat was leaving me quickly and the cold was rapidly conquering me again.

“
I have to go now,” I sat up and he blinked up at me.

“
Please don’t regret what just happened,” he reached for me but I backed away, gathering my clothes and slipping into them efficiently.

“
I don’t,” my voice was empty, as numb as my body.

Come to me,
Anubis whispered in my head.
I’ll make it stop. I’ll make you warm again. I’m the only one who can help you. You know that now, don't you?

“
Yes,” I whispered and turned away from Odin’s stricken face.

“
Vervain,” he scooted off the bed and jumped into his pants but I was already out the door.

Hurry,
Anubis urged me on and I flew down the stairs and through the great hall. I was in the tracing room in no time.
This spell will bring you to me: Seśep-à em-bah Neb-ta-Djeser.

I repeated the words tonelessly just as Odin stumbled into the tracing room.

“Hetep-k nà per ba-ă,” I repeated the end of the tracing chant while Odin screamed and the room faded away.

Chapter Twelve

Anubis stood before me, in a room made entirely of black onyx. He smiled and opened his arms, practically glowing against all that black. I went to him, my mind clouded and my body numb, like a zombie to its master. With his touch my skin flared to life, fire blazing through my limbs.

I sucked in a deep breath as he drove the ice away and thawed my heart. My soul immediately flowed in and filled the hollow place inside me, making me real again. My Nahual roared as she raced back into me, her cry echoing through me, and I shook with happiness at being reunited with her. It was like surfacing from a wintry ocean and finding yourself on a sunny beach. I felt reborn.

I started to tremble as I looked up at Anubis, reality finally sinking in as the cold faded completely. His eyes swirled with colors and then his lips covered mine. I wanted to pull back but I couldn’t, his fire filled me, controlling me with a magic stronger than any I’d ever felt. My arms lifted as if pulled by strings and my hands slid around his thick shoulders.

When his tongue touched mine, my body tensed, wanting to pull away, knowing I’d made a horrible mistake but unable to block my passionate response. Images of making love to Odin filled my head and I silently screamed, filled with remorse for hurting him and betraying Trevor. I wanted to die, to just let the flames of Anubis consume me and end my pain.

“
No,” he pulled away and his lips twisted. “Your suffering has only just begun.”

I felt cool metal slide around my neck and looked down to see a thick gold collar in the shape of a jackal’s head. It’s pointed ears went back along my throat, to connect at my nape. An ominous click echoed in the chamber and Anubis laughed at the horror he must have seen on my face. My stomach clenched and I wanted to throw up but even that, he controlled.

He stepped back, pulling on a gold chain attached to the collar, and I stumbled forward. Two gold cuffs appeared in his hands, and his face settled into the haughty lines of a conqueror. He fastened them about each of my wrists, then another two went on my ankles. They were thick and heavy, each with a loop that gave them the unsettling appearance of expensive shackles.