The princess was a valuable target, and Carina realized if Shaun was...eliminated, she'd be chosen to do the job. All it took was a moment to tell Leo that Shaun was Brotherhood. She'd stood by, knowing Shaun's sister, Mira, would pay the price for failure. But she also had faith that Leo would save the Nyral male. The fact that Carina would get one step closer to her ultimate goal of revenge hadn't played into her decision.
Had it?
Which side of her had made the choice to reveal Shaun's identity to Leo? The Nyral avenger bent on destroying the Brotherhood? Or the manipulative assassin who saw an opportunity to further her cause?
The truth was elusive, but one thing was clear. It had been risky, but had seemed worth it. Until Mira had died over an open com.
She blinked. “I had no choice."
"And when you fucked me? Did you have a choice then?” His voice was low.
Carina tried to turn her head away, but Shaun gripped her chin to hold her in place. Tears threatened, and she swallowed them down. “I—” Her lips trembled. “Yes, I had a choice. But I wanted you desperately."
"Why, Carina?” he whispered and leaned down, his lips a breath away from hers.
"You were home to me,” she whispered. “Why didn't you mark me?"
His hot breath was like fire. “You didn't belong to me. Even then. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew."
Her eyes widened. “How could you know?” Hell, she hadn't even known.
His gaze was bleak and empty. “I know the look. You gave yourself to him a long time ago.” His head jerked toward Xandros. “I didn't know his name, but I knew you belonged to someone else."
"Then why go along with it?"
"I couldn't have what I wanted. What makes you think
I
didn't need to feel close to home?"
That wasn't it. Carina stared at Shaun, studying his hard features. Who did he want that he couldn't have? Their existence with the Brotherhood was punctuated by desperate sex amid life-threatening terror. Tender feelings weren't possible. But one woman had Shaun's attention, even though the focus seemed mired in hatred. Perhaps his hostility hid a deeper need. The truth dawned on her. “Challah."
Father Pestori's daughter. No one knew if she was a victim or willing participant. Carina had seen the scars, the wounds the girl bore from her father's doting care. Carina had witnessed Father Pestori's brutal parental admonishment, actions that left the fragile Challah with broken bones and flayed skin. Once, the religious fanatic had to be dragged off his daughter as he beat her for tears shed over a dead man. She seemed to be caught in the Brotherhood's web. Yet Challah had stood by as many were killed in the Brotherhood's version of discipline. Including Shaun's sister.
Shaun reared back. “She has nothing to do with it. Her father is a monster, and she's just as bad."
"But Shaun, she—"
"Don't speak of her.” He straightened up completely. “She was there when all of them were murdered. Mira and the others."
Carina was stunned at Shaun's passion. But maybe he hadn't noticed that the woman he condemned was as trapped as he'd been. “Challah isn't—"
"Be silent,” Shaun roared.
"Perhaps yelling at her isn't the answer, my friend.” Xandros was awake and tense. Carina noted Xandros flexed his hand.
Shaun glared at the man. “You don't understand."
The red glint in Xandros's gaze made Carina nervous. His voice was deceptively mild. “So explain it to me."
"Challah Pestori stood by while her father murdered my sister.” Shaun's tone was harsh, but Carina thought she heard something else bleeding from him.
"She isn't allowed to leave. You have to see that—"
Shaun slashed his hand down, cutting her off. “She made her choice. She chose
them
."
"And you wanted her desperately,” she snapped. “But she didn't choose you. Did you make her an offer?"
Shaun glared at her. “She never knew me."
"So?” Carina had carried her secret need in her heart, even though she never thought she'd see Xandros again. Why would Shaun be any different?
"So you don't know what you're talking about.” Shaun's nostrils flared.
"I know you called out her name when you fucked me."
He froze, his gaze focused on her face. “I'm not discussing this."
Carina studied him carefully. Hatred and love seemed to swirl in Shaun's hazel eyes at the mention of Challah Pestori. The woman had confused others, including Carina. The daughter of the most ruthless member of the Brotherhood also worked to obstruct her father. But she also helped to trap members of the Brotherhood, whether she was aware of her participation or not.
An enigma that appealed to and repelled Shaun.
"At some point, Shaun, you're going to have to face the fact that she—"
Suddenly, Shaun loomed over her and snarled, “What part of I'm not discussing this don't you get?"
A low growl vibrated from Xandros. “Back away, Fenway."
Shaun blinked and then flung himself away from her bed. He stomped out the door, leaving Xandros and Carina staring after him.
"Well, that was interesting.” Xandros glanced at her. “What the hell was it all about?"
"I'm not completely sure,” she said slowly. “Challah is both her father's weapon and his victim. I think Shaun has to keep her in the weapon category so he can do the one thing he's intended to do since he was reinstated with the Nyral military."
"Take out the Brotherhood?"
"No. Kill Challah Pestori.” She met Xandros's surprised gaze. “Challah was there when Mira was killed. In his mind, Challah is as guilty as her father."
Xandros frowned. “But why? Unless she actually killed his sister."
"Because she stood by and did nothing. Because Shaun lied, stole, and killed to keep his sister alive, and it was all for nothing.” Carina pressed her lips together, emotions too close to the surface. Her throat closed up, and her jaw clenched. It couldn't all have been for nothing. Could it?
"They blackmailed him. It wasn't his fault."
She held his gaze. “And what about me, Xandros? No one blackmailed me."
In a heartbeat, he was beside her, his hands cupping her face. “No? They took your family, your life, your hopes, and your dreams. They held you captive just as much as they held Shaun."
She stared at his familiar face and wondered how she would ever deserve him. “All I wanted was the death of that man, the one who gives the orders, the one who killed my sister because of that stupid prophecy,” she said hoarsely. “And all of it was a mistake. The princess was the one who should have died. Instead, they killed Shanie."
There had been so many nights and so many moments she'd dismissed how pointless it all had been. Shanie was dead, but the Brotherhood soon realized it hadn't stopped the prophecy. The time Carina had spent honing her skills seemed wasted. It wouldn't bring Shanie back, a thought that she'd been determined to ignore. Her chest hurt, and she clenched her hands into impotent fists. Pointless. Wasn't it all pointless? All that blood for nothing, for revenge. A sob escaped, and the tears spilled over onto her cheeks.
Xandros wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. “Oh my little machinka, I'm so sorry."
It felt good to cry, to get it out. For the first time in four years, Carina cleansed her soul of the pain and sacrifice and allowed her emotions to rule her heart. “Every time those priests made me blow a Primarian or when they made me drink the blood of some poor smuck they'd murdered, I kept thinking of Shanie and how I'd make it all right, balance the scales.” She leaned her head back. “But I don't think it will happen. I'm damaged goods, permanently scarred. I don't deserve to—"
Xandros shut her up with his mouth on hers. He plundered, demanded, and dominated her until she relaxed in his arms. Tears still leaked from her eyes, but she lost herself for a moment in the heat of his kiss. He desired her, broken pieces and all.
The mark on her arm flared to life, no longer a painful burning, but a throbbing need that swept through her like a wildfire.
It burned everything before it—her past, her fear, her doubts—all disappeared as passion flamed between them. She arched closer, needing him, desperate for him.
He tore his mouth from hers with a curse. “I can't now. You're not well enough. But when you're healed, Carina Tao, I'm going to make love to you until you forget any man you've ever had."
"I've never had a man like you,” she said immediately.
He groaned. “Don't say things like that. You're killing me."
"I'm a Brotherhood assassin,” she quipped. “That's my job."
He held her away from him and held her gaze. “You
were
a Brotherhood assassin."
"What am I now?” she asked in a small voice.
The slow smile that lifted his lips made her heart pound. “Mine."
While Carina healed, Xandros practiced. There was no way he wasn't going to be ready for whatever awaited them. He would protect her at any cost.
The practice room on the
Placidian Cosmos
was extensive, and Xandros worked every minute he was awake. He pushed himself to the limit.
So many thoughts in his head demanded answers he didn't have. How the hell was he going to rescue Aron and Finn? Even with Shaun and Leo, it seemed an insurmountable task. His feelings for Carina were still murky. He loved her, had always loved her. But she wasn't Shanie Tao's bratty little sister anymore. And she wasn't Rina, the famous Brotherhood assassin. She was someone entirely different with weird powers that could burn up thousands of human bodies.
The unfinished business with Shaun Fenway had driven Xandros to the practice floor more than Carina. Both he and Carina had unwritten pages to write with Shaun, and Xandros wasn't even sure how to start a sentence. Consequently, he avoided everyone except Carina.
He flicked on his sword program and swiped a few arcs in the air with his blade. The new laser blade he'd acquired on the last run to Everos was perfect for the nasty fight he knew was coming. The priests would see to it that blood was spilled.
The program engaged, and Xandros began the parry-feint steps that had kept him alive all these years. Even with his body fully committed, his brain continued to buzz with possibilities.
Thrust, parry. Why hadn't the Brotherhood killed the two men? And why were Princess Sera and Leo so intent on getting them back? Feint, parry, thrust, strike.
The program picked up speed, and Xandros spared no more thought for the questions plaguing him. Carina's strange new power. Shaun's attraction. The royal couple's odd behavior. They all faded as he avoided the hologram's sword.
After all, this was what he knew. Fighting. Blood. Death. Fighting...and negotiation. “Program halt."
That's what he could do. Negotiate. A glimmer of a plan began to form.
The doors opened, and Leo appeared. Blond, scarred, and dominant as hell, Leo Eyler had been Xandros's friend years ago. One of the few Nyral dominants who didn't hold Xandros's family name against him.
Yet, when they met again two years later, the friend he'd known was gone, and a cold-eyed stranger had betrayed him to the Primarians in a heartbeat.
His hands tightened on the sword pommel as Leo walked through the door and into the practice room. “Come to practice?"
Leo shook his head. “I came to talk."
Xandros turned away abruptly. “What's there to talk about? You want to save your princess, and I want to keep Carina alive. Simple. All we need is a plan—"
"I tried to contact you when my cover was blown,” Leo interrupted.
Xandros froze. He did
not
want to discuss this. But Leo seemed to have something to say. He tightened his lips and turned back to face this man who had once meant so much to him.
Leo inhaled slowly and moved closer. He stepped cautiously, his gaze wary. “You have questions."
"Sure,” Xandros said flippantly. “A million of them."
"I'm talking about the
Fallorian
."
Bitter dregs soured Xandros's stomach. The
Fallorian
. It was just another betrayal, another moment he'd survived and didn't know why. “What's there to know? You were working undercover and turned me over to your Primarian goons. All part of the act, I imagine."
Leo looked away. “Partly."
What the fuck did that mean? Xandros pressed his lips together and stayed silent. Either the man was going to explain himself or he wasn't. The man was a dominant and probably didn't feel he had to justify what he did to Xandros.
"I was pissed at you,” Leo said. The man stared at the wall behind Xandros. “After Shanie died—” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “All those people I thought were friends were gone. Conner was there but—"
"But he was all military. He didn't understand the urge to fuck someone—anyone—up.” Xandros would have understood. They both knew he should have been there. “I would have been there if I could have, Leo."
"I didn't know that then.” A muscle in Leo's jaw flexed. “I fucked you over without blinking because I had needed you desperately and you were nowhere to be found.” His nostrils flared. “I watched when they beat the shit out of you."
"When did you find out?” Xandros was afraid to ask the question. He thought he knew.
Xandros didn't want to talk about this. Leo's gaze finally met his. “When that Primarian was about to fuck you up the ass."
The violence of that moment flooded back in Xandros's memory. By the time the asshole had dropped his pants, Xandros had been almost unconscious.
"So I have you to thank that the gorilla didn't do it?” he said in a strained voice.
"I stopped him, but I don't deserve your gratitude.” Leo took a deep breath. “When that Primarian bastard said he had heard from the Teran Five goons that you liked it, I couldn't let him do it. I found out you'd been taken, held without charge, and your file was classified."
"Wow. I didn't know I rated classified,” Xandros said bitterly.
Leo stepped closer. “You've read the file."
Xandros sheathed his sword that he'd been unconsciously gripping as if he faced an enemy. “No, I never read it. I didn't have to.” His chest hurt, and taking a deep breath was almost impossible. “I found out from one of the spooks I tortured. The TIF was ordered to break me, fuck me up, and let me go. The order came from high up. I was referred to as ‘interference.’ The guy said there was some project your precious TIF had in the works and I was an obstacle to their objective.” He gave a short laugh that had nothing to do with humor. “I had no idea what project they were talking about.” He shook his head. “I played right into their hands."