“What are you thinking about so hard, Baby Girl?” I’d asked, and she shook as if waking from a dream.
“I feel a lot of things… I’m still trying to sort everything out and I feel almost guilty that I haven’t said ‘I love you too.’”
“I don’t expect you would, or even that you do, and that’s okay.”
“It’s not, though. I mean, I feel
safe
with you, I feel
relieved
and
protected
and
good
when I‘m with you… but does that all equal love, or does it equal ‘I’m using you?’”
God, it made me smile to hear all that; it really did, despite her second guessing last remark.
“So what if you are, Faith? Would it make you feel better if I told you that I’m perfectly okay with you using me if it makes you feel safe, relieved, protected, and good? As far as I’m concerned you just told me that you feel
loved,
and that’s been my goal for something like the last month.”
“But that’s not fair to you,” she tried to protest.
“Is so, so don’t sweat it.”
She scoffed, “How is it fair to you?” she demanded and I kind of liked this little glimpse of confidence I was getting. It meant she really was comfortable with me.
“Because if I do for you everything that you’re sayin’; that makes me a
man
, Sweetheart. It means I’m doing everything right
as
a man and that puts me on top of the fuckin’ world.”
She exhaled and did what she did that morning, hoisted herself into a sitting position, throwing a leg over my hip and straddling me. Her hands rested lightly on my chest over my heart, which I admit, beat faster when I saw her like this. She looked down at me, my tee slipping off one of her delicate, slim shoulders, her hair framing her face and tumbling loose.
She was achingly beautiful in the subtle, deep night lighting, even though she was regarding me with a queer look on her face. She leaned down, holding my hair back from my face, hands gentle on the sides of my face, even as her hair curtained us from the rest of the room. Her lips met mine and I kissed her. I couldn’t help that my cock stirred between us, and I had a moment of anxiety that it might turn her off or scare her off of me.
I must have tensed up or something because she drew back, searching my face with those typically jewel bright eyes, but the lighting, or lack of it in here, did something to them, turning them ghostly and near colorless. They were clear, just held none of that aquamarine hue I loved so much.
“Sorry, Baby Girl, I ain’t got much control over things like –” she placed her fingertips against my lips to silence me.
“I know,” she whispered and I cursed myself silently. Seemed she’d been fine with it, but my saying something about it wasn’t okay by her. Too damn late to take it back now. I needed to learn to live in the moment with Faith and let our bodies do the talking when she instigated anything.
She slipped off my lap and tumbled elegantly to my side, cuddling back in and laying her head on my chest. Her arms took up a defensive posture against her chest and I sighed, wrapping her up in my arms, smoothing a hand up and down her back.
We both closed our eyes, listening to each other’s breath and the rain pattering down against the window glass. The perfect soundtrack to lead into a deep, restful sleep.
***
The next morning I woke before she did, her head pillowed on my bicep, head tucked beneath my chin. My free arm was curved protectively over her body but I was stiff as hell for not having moved all night. When I tried to extract myself gently, Faith’s eyes flew open; that glorious color returned full force with the daylight.
“Morning,” I murmured, voice rough with sleep and need for a cigarette. I’d run out the day before but I’d snagged a pack off my boat at the marina last night. They were callin’ my name. It was almost as good as that first cup of coffee to be honest.
“Hi,” her soft lyrical voice was soft with wonder like she almost couldn’t believe I was here or that she’d slept the whole night through. Truth was she hadn’t, not really. She’d started whimpering and twitching in her sleep, heralding one of her nightmares coming on and I’d done the only thing I could think of. I’d held her and sung
Hope Never Dies
to her. By some fuckin’ miracle that’d calmed her shit right down and she’d sunk right back down into sleep, pulling herself tight into me, her fingers curling in my hair. I chalked it up as a total win.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“By the smell, time for us to get our asses up, dressed and ready to ride. Breakfast is on down there.” She lifted her head and took a deep breath, smiling; bacon made me smile, too.
Up, showered, dressed for the road, and seated at the table in record time. I pulled Faith into my lap; the giant table in the dining room only held eight where the patio table held a dozen, so all but one seat was taken by a brother. Faith hid behind a curtain of her hair, blushing furiously at the stares and grins and I wrapped my knuckles on the wooden table.
“I know you fuckers are jealous, I would be too in yer place, but knock it off with the fuckin’ staring. You’re makin’ my girl uncomfortable.”
Wild laughter met my demand and Faith turned that much redder. I swear, she blushed any harder it’d be to her knees. Hope set a couple of plates down in front of us loaded with bacon, cheesy eggs, and toast and we ate but
good
.
Piling out the front door, rucksacks and road gear in hand and over shoulders, I saw we had Stoker along for this ride in addition to Beast, The Captain, Hope, Radar, Lighting, and Atlas. Damn near the whole crew was here. Trike, our Prospect, and Gator who was nursing an ankle injury, were over near the crash truck. Pyro came out the house’s front door and Nothing was pulling in on his bike, new tires on it.
Shit
, that made pretty much the whole gang then.
“Alright, listen up!” The Captain bellowed and all eyes went to him. He part and parceled the information we needed out and we listened. Faith fidgeted nearby and Hope caught my eye, giving me a chin lift. I raised an eyebrow and she nodded and I tuned back in to what the Captain was saying.
After he shut his yap, Hope came over and handed me the cut I’d requested. I shook it out and had a look, smiling. ‘Property Of’ was loud and proud on the top rocker, ‘Marlin’ across the bottom and in the center? Where our colors would be if she were a brother, well it wasn’t
quite
a rose, but it was something. A marlin fish arching out of the water, fierce. I’d asked the guys last night and they all thought it was a fine idea. No fuckin’ idea how she’d pulled it off so fast, then I realized, it wasn’t a patch but rather embroidered right into the leather. Must have been one of those shopping mall embroidery kiosk deals. Didn’t much care, it looked great and bonus points? The front of the cut was just as good. ‘Faith’ was displayed on the name flash, and opposite on the lower portion of the cut, just like I’d asked, was a red and black A&E band logo patch.
“It’s beautiful,” Faith said and I looked up from the cut in my hands and over at her, turning my head I held it out for her to slip into. She did and turned obediently, and I zipped up the front. It was ladies cut, again like I’d asked and the sides accentuated her feminine curves. Faith had pretty ample breasts as compared to Hope, and the cut, worn with just a tank or nothing at all would display them to perfection if she were ever so inclined. I know I hoped to see the day her confidence returned enough for it.
The guys stood around clapping and cheering for a minute and Faith spent a few minutes blushing fiercely before the Captain told us all, pretty much to stow it and to fall in. Hope was riding herself, not that any of us saw any different coming out of her, and we did as commanded, firing up, following hand signals and getting in our places in the procession.
I was a little afraid for Faith, both for the long ride and the destination, but being surrounded by all the guys, she seemed a little more at ease with having to go. She had her shades on, so it was hard to read her face but what I could see didn’t hold lines of tension and she didn’t grip me any harder or softer than she usually did which was a good deal.
The ride was long and pretty punishing with the heat, humidity, and all the riding gear. We were sweatin’ in all that black leather, and the wind didn’t really do
shit
to cool you off when it got up above ninety degrees. I think all of us were draggin’ some serious fuckin’ ass when we pulled onto the rural highway through Jefferson Parish, heading into the city.
The plan was to bunk down with the Voodoo Bastards tonight, and meet with the lawyer in the morning. That plan, however, was shot to shit the second we got lit up by the Jefferson Parrish Sherriff cruiser that’d fallen in behind the line. Of course, we weren’t doin’ nothin’ wrong; we never did when we were ridin’ pack like this. It was always best to keep a low profile, and by that I mean minding your P’s and Q’s in regards to speed, signaling, and what have you. Was hard to be considered anything low except ‘life’s’ to citizens when you thundered down the road however many strong.
We did what we were supposed to by citizen law, and pulled over. The douchebag cop sat in his cruiser running plates, so a lot of us got off our bikes and stretched the stiffness out before the second cruiser pulled up. I guess I couldn’t blame the one cop. When you pulled over a bunch of bikers for no good reason, then you probably wanted more cops to back your play. Faith stood with me, Hope, and Cutter and looked pretty much scared to death.
“They’re going to hassle us, take all our information and then they’re going to take their sweet time running all of us,” Cutter said grimly, I knew it as well as he did, so did Hope. The procedure is pretty fuckin’ routine. Hope was on her cellphone in a flash when the second cruiser pulled up along the line of bikes and parked at the front. Some of the guys had theirs out as well, to start recording.
The door to the cruiser up front popped open and the deputy got out. Faith looked up at me, lost and afraid…
“If they run my information, they’ll know about the warrant and they’ll arrest me, won’t they?” she whispered.
“Yeah Baby Girl, but it’ll be okay…” I was cut off by the deputy.
“Identification, all a y’all, right now; let’s see ‘em,” he demanded and he already had his hand on the butt of his gun. Jesus-fucking-Christ. I handed him mine and Faiths, he took Cutter’s and Hopes.
“Hang that up!” he barked at Hope and Cutter who were each on their phones. Hope defiantly read off the dude’s badge number to whoever was on the other end of the line before hanging up and sticking her phone in her back pocket. Probably one of her cop friends if I had to guess.
Cutter was on the phone with the lawyer that the Voodoo Bastards crew had set us up with. The deputies split the licenses between them and ordered us that we all stay where we were while they returned to their cruisers to run them. A third one pulled up across the street and we were all left standin’ with our dicks waving while they went to running us all down.
I pulled a cigarette from my pack and lit up. Faith stood stoic, disappearing inside of herself, tears starting to drip down her face as the terror took hold. She’d told me she remembered enough about gettin’ arrested the first time to know she never wanted to have it happen again while she was sober and here it was about to happen and there wasn’t fuck all I could do about it.
“Gimme your cut, Baby Girl,” I murmured and she looked up at me stricken.
“For safe keeping, Bubbles,” Hope promised her and she was taking hers off and handing it to Cutter. I raised an eyebrow at her and she looked determined, so I kept my fuckin’ trap shut. The Captain did likewise.
“It’s okay, Bubbles, I promise. Nothing is going to happen to you,” Hope hugged her sister from the side as the dickcheese deputy came back.
“You,” he grabbed Faith by the arm and she yelped; a half fearful, half pained sound and I felt myself growl and take a step forward.
“Watch it,” I grated at him and Faith looked at me, helpless, lost, but also concerned.
“It’s okay, Marlin, I’m okay,” she said, voice strained, words coming too fast. Tryin’ to be brave and failin’ miserable at it.
“Up against the car, Sugar,” the deputy said, smug. He pushed Faith up against the front fender, grinding his cock into her ass.
“Hey!” I barked and hands were on me, my brothers holding me back from lunging forward.
“Female officer!” Hope shouted at Faith, “Demand a female officer, Faith!”
“I-I-I d-demand a female officer!” Faith stammered out, and the deputy scoffed.
“Ain’t none on duty and you’re wanted on a warrant on account of you’re a whore, so I don’t see why you should protest havin’ a man’s hands on you none.”
He said it clear as fuckin’ day, all cheerful with a side of condescending; the cocky
bastard
. All of us fell quiet, holding our collective breaths stunned…
“You son of a bitch!” I burst out, when it registered what he’d said; I mean we were all so fuckin’ floored that it took time to sink the fuck in. I lunged at him and my brothers held me back. Shouting from all sides and that motherfucker had my girl pinned against his fuckin’ cruiser, his hands gliding over her in the raunchiest, most vile fuckin’ farce of a pat down any of us had seen.
Hope looked at Cutter and they exchanged looks. I think I heard her say something to the effect of “Here goes my career,” before
she
marched forward and popped the son of a bitch right in the fucking face. She immediately leaned over the cruiser beside Faith; palms flat to the faded metal before one of the other shit bags slammed her down hard, cuffing her with unnecessary force.
Cutter stood impassive in that way that told me he was going to end somebody’s world and I stopped struggling, breathing hard, all of us watching as they shoved first Hope, then Faith cuffed in the back of the patrol car. None of us had any words, and the rest of us, we were all free to go after having our licenses tossed at us.
“Trike, Gator, load Hope’s bike into the back of the truck,” Cutter ordered in that creepy sort of detached calm way of his.