I think I may have channeled Hope for a moment there, because some of the old me, the me from before I had ever set foot in the city of New Orleans, surfaced for just a split second and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Nice outfit; did it come with daddy issues and a pole?”
Her perfectly lipsticked mouth in a color that perfectly matched her shirt, dropped open.
“
What
did you just say?” she demanded.
“Oh, I think you heard me.”
Marlin, Bobby, and Johnny all stood aside, equally as shocked as she was, mouths hanging open in surprise. The woman, Johnny’s wife, scoffed and demanded, “Who the fuck are you, Skank?”
I stepped into her space and she turned to face me, I put my nose almost touching hers and gave a tight little smile, “No one,” I said and put my hand in her stomach and shoved. She teetered on those stupid stripper shoes and arms flailing for balance went on her ass, precisely as I intended, over the open water. She shrieked before the filthy, oil slicked marina water closed over her head and she came up sputtering.
“I’m hungry,” I said dispassionately, and walked away, leaving Lynn screaming for her husband to help fish her out. Johnny looked at me like he was seeing me with new eyes and Marlin and Bobby, laughing, caught up to me.
“What was
that?
” Bobby asked me, tears of laughter very nearly leaking out of his eyes.
I looked at Johnny, then Marlin in his and said, “He’s family now, and if it’s one thing I learned from my sister, Hope, no one, not anyone, is allowed to mess with family.”
Marlin put his arm around me, his smile reaching from ear to ear, and Johnny looked from me to him, mystified.
“When are you bringing your girl home to meet Mama?” he asked.
“How does this Sunday, sound? After church, you should bring the kids. It’s been a while since Mama’s seen her grandbabies.”
“Oo, think you can talk her into making one of her key lime pies?” Bobby asked and I felt myself smile.
“Bring her a flat of oranges and I bet you could talk her into just about anything.”
“Fuck I’ll bring her the limes, too. Got a plot of ‘em at the back of the south grove.”
The men talked amicably about Marlin and Johnny’s mother’s cooking and I felt like I belonged with them. Like whatever barrier I’d had between myself and Marlin’s brother had been lifted, despite the guilt I felt for having given in to my flare of anger. I had been and always would be a firm believer that violence couldn’t and wouldn’t solve anything, but still, it’d felt really good to do what I had done, even though I would likely pay for it later. Technically I had just committed assault, and I expected Lynn would turn me in to the police.
“Hey, what ‘cha thinkin’?” Marlin asked, shaking me gently by the shoulders.
“Well, I was thinking that I’ve already been to jail twice, now. This last time I actually remember the whole thing, so at least I know what to expect.”
Marlin laughed, and Bobby looked at me like I’d grown a second head, “Honey,” Bobby said, “We don’t know what you’re talking about. We all three saw it, one of those dumbass hooker heels of hers got caught in the dock and she went right over. You have three witnesses that all saw it to her none.”
“Seriously, don’t worry about it,” Johnny agreed.
I blinked, I hadn’t considered that they would lie for me, although, I should have suspected they would. Marlin chuckled, “I may be your white knight, Baby Girl, but to the rest of the world, I’m still an outlaw.”
I tucked myself against his side, “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks, I know what kind of man you are and I love you for it.”
He hugged me around the shoulders and kissed the top of my head, smiling a satisfied little smile. Neither Bobby nor Johnny commented, but they were both smiling, too. Though Johnny’s held an edge of sadness which made my heart break a little for him. Having lived through what I lived through, it was hard not to recognize abuse when I saw it, and Lynn? Lynn might as well have ‘abuser’ branded on her forehead in neon letters. I reached out without thinking and grasped Johnny’s hand giving it an empathetic squeeze and he startled, before giving me a shy little smile.
“Where’re we eatin’?” Bobby asked as we reached the main boulevard, Johnny let out an explosive breath as first one, then another police car pulled past us and into the marina’s parking lot.
“How about Tommy’s fish shack?” he suggested.
“Sounds good,” Marlin said and we walked at a leisurely pace in the proper direction.
Chapter 41
Marlin
We had a good dinner, the boys and me walking Faith from the restaurant, strolling easily along the boulevard. When we reached the marina, on the way back to the Scarlett Ann, Johnny cast a sideways look in my direction before casually saying, “Y’ know, it’s getting late. Why don’t you guys stay on the Scarlett Ann tonight? I’ll bunk down on deck or in the living quarters.
Faith looked up at me and nodded silently, picking up as much as I was what my brother was putting down. He didn’t want to be alone in case his crazy ass soon-to-be-ex-wife decided to show up and cause trouble. We looked to Bobby and he asked, “You got beer?”
“What the fuck you mean, ‘have I got beer’? When do I not have beer you happy bastard?” Bobby gave me a shove and I careened into Faith who lost balance right along with me, we giggled, going foot over foot off to the side to bounce off my little brother like a human rendition of pong. Johnny laughed and gave us a gentle shove to help us get righted.
“Cool, thanks guys,” Johnny said and Bobby shrugged.
“Don’t mention it,” my best friend said and Faith gave a soft, contented sigh beside me.
When we got back to my boat, we hung out on deck and had a round of beers, except Faith, she had water. She didn’t want to drink with the new meds and I didn’t blame her. I think she’d had enough of living in an altered state for her lifetime and then some.
It was late when she and I finally went to bed, and I have to admit, I’d been fighting the urge to rush her there all evening. When I shut the door to my master cabin, she stood in the dim lighting and looked like a fuckin’ angel.
I went to her, stripping my tee off over my head, and pulled her to me when her breath caught with desire. Those incredible aquamarine eyes of hers wandered over my chest and arms and it was like she was drinking me in, the way she did it had me instantly fucking hard and I asked her, “It alright if I make love to you?”
“Yes,” she breathed and her hands were tangling in my hair, dragging my face to hers, even as I slipped her flimsy cover up, sweater thing off her shoulders and off her arms. It dropped to the carpet, pooling behind her and before it’d settled completely, I was working at the aqua wrap that hung low on her hips, the gauzy material lighter than air. It fluttered to the floor two or three seconds later, Faith’s hands finding their way to the front of my shorts, working at the button and zipper.
I groaned into her mouth when she reached inside and wrapped careful fingers around me. She grasped me, her palm soft against the head of my dick and I found my hips jerking forward all on their own to meet her firm strokes.
“God, Baby Girl, that feels so good,” I moaned and tipped my head back to just enjoy it for a few seconds. Her kiss on my chest was light and reverent and I smoothed my hands up and down her arms, my fingers going up under her hair to work at the halter of her swim top. It gave way and I eased it down, following it, going to my knees so I could take first one, then the other nipple of her pert breasts into my mouth. I loved her body, every curve, every angle, every supple inch but my woman had breasts to die for.
Faith’s fingernails scratched lightly against my scalp, her voice a hoarse, muted cry as she threw back her head and allowed me to pay homage to her beautiful fuckin’ tits. I smoothed my hands up her ribs and around to her back where I found the catch to her swim top and got it loose, pulling it off completely, leaving her in just the bottoms. I pulled
those
aside and buried my face at the juncture of her thighs, kissing; tongue questing for that small prize, that pearl of nerve endings that would set her on fucking fire.
Her legs shuddered and she bit her bottom lip, trying to keep her voice down and I chuckled, backing off her long enough to pull the bottoms down her lithe legs. She shuddered and I stood, leaving my shorts on the floor, stepping out of them and my flip flops. I picked her up and she twined her legs around my hips. It was a few steps up and I was laying her back gently and carefully in my bed.
“Marlin,” she gasped, a slight edge of panic in her voice and I realized I was looming, and tonight it was setting her on edge.
“Whatever you want, Baby Girl, just tell me,” I said and held myself off of her, my arms to either side of her body. She had her lip between her teeth with apprehension and when she finished searching my face, realizing I meant every word I’d just uttered, she relaxed, slowly.
“Kiss me,” she said softly and I lowered myself, placing my lips softly against hers.
She kissed me carefully, her hands holding my face, cradling them gently and I pulled back just enough to ask her again, “Is it okay if I make love to you, Faith?”
“Yes,” she said, unequivocally, and so I slipped inside her.
She was wet and ready, despite the demons inside her head and I moved slowly, maintaining eye contact with her. The moment she let go was a beautiful thing, her eyes drifting shut, her body relaxing beneath mine and her breath escaping in a shuddering sigh.
“That’s it, Baby,” I murmured and it was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes flew open and I immediately pushed myself up. Her eyes were wide and frightened and I instantly made a mental note to
never
say that again.
I pulled out of her and she covered her breasts with her arms, tears springing to her eyes making them luminous. I made soothing noises and moved off to the side, asking her, “Can I hold you?”
Faith nodded, and I gathered her into my arms and she wept. I sighed inwardly, and didn’t fault her one bit. It would be silly of me to expect that we would never have one of these kinds of setbacks. I held Faith tight and let the tears fall. As soon as I’d seen the fear in her eyes, my erection had flagged, and somehow I think that actually
helped
in this situation. She whimpered that she was sorry into my chest and I felt a fission of anger travel down my spine, though I would be damned if I would show it. I wasn’t angry at her, and I didn’t need her thinking I was.
“Shh, no need to apologize, Baby Girl. It’s gonna happen, I understand.”
I hushed her and I soothed her and I pulled the sheet and blanket up over us both, cuddling her near, and letting her cry it out, until exhausted, she fell asleep. I lay awake for a long, long time after that, absently stroking her back as she whimpered and slept fitfully in my arms.
It was probably the toughest night we’d had together to date, since the earlier days when she was still in the throes of her body’s addiction. It’d been a real good day, too. I had to imagine, if there was anything that’d set her off, it wasn’t me; I was thinking it had to be Lynn. Abuse is abuse and if ever there was a more abusive broad, Lynn was exactly it.
I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to think of how we would handle this come morning, whether or not we would speak on it, if I should bring it up, or if we should ignore it. I settled on asking her if she wanted to talk about it, because ignoring a problem never solved anything. With that decided, I fell into an uneasy sleep of my own.
Chapter 42
Faith
I woke before Marlin, and spent a good deal of time simply watching him sleep. He had deep circles under his eyes, telling me he’d likely fallen asleep long after me and I felt bad about that. I didn’t want him to think he’d done anything wrong, because he hadn’t. He really hadn’t. It was just that
phrase,
those exact
words.
He’d said them and I hadn’t heard his voice, I’d heard another and it was as if I’d gone back in time, and instead of his neat cabin on his boat I was back on that dirty mattress in one of their fucking livestock pens.
I trailed light fingertips down Marlin’s arm and his eyes flew open. He looked over at me and he reached out, but didn’t quite touch my face. I finished for him, turning my cheek into his fingertips and closing my eyes.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked, voice rough with sleep and I thought about it, finally I nodded and when I looked, he was listening, I mean
really listening,
and so I spoke. I told him everything and he listened, asking a question here and there, and probing gently to figure out what would and would not work so we could avoid similar trouble in the future.
By the end, tears of gratitude slipped down my face and I was back, cuddled against him, some of the deep, fractured ache of my trauma sealing itself shut under his tenderness and love.
A soft knock at the door, and he made sure we were covered before calling out, “Yeah!”
Bobby poked his head in, “Hey, Johnny’s gone to get his kids, we heading to your parents?”
“The fuck? Is it Sunday?”
“Uh,
yeah.
”
“Shit, I lost track of the days,” Marlin stretched, and he smiled at me. I nodded and he nodded back.
“We’ll be right out,” he said and Bobby gave a nod and shut the door.
“You up for this?” he asked me, and I was surprised to find that,
yes
, yes I was. I felt phenomenally better after spending the time talking it out with Marlin. We got up, showered and dressed, although sadly the little shower on his boat was only good to fit one of us at a time. It was as if I felt a little more fragile today, and as a result, I craved his nearness, his strength.
When I got out of the shower and dressed, I found him in the little kitchen, a glass of water in one hand, a slightly worried look on his face, as if he wondered if I were about to be offended or not. I smiled, and held out my hand for the pills and relief crashed across his face, as fast as lightning into the sea. I took the two pills, one tablet, and one tiny anti-anxiety med and washed them down with copious amounts of water. The little one liked to melt before I could get it down and it tasted awful.