Read MARTians Online

Authors: Blythe Woolston

MARTians (12 page)

Meanwhile, I owe AllMART money. Then I think about compound interest.

I am not alone. Suddenly, short emphatic words punctuate the air above the shelving units and slither along the aisles. That passes, but I can hear a whispered weeping at the other side of the canned soups.

“I shoulda warned you about payday,” says Timmer. “But even when you know how it is, it’s a crap sandwich.”

“How am I supposed to live on
nothing
?”

“Same as you have been,” says Timmer. “Eventually, you will get money. I get money now, which is why we have delicious cereal.” He shakes the box. “Just be glad you aren’t living in the dormatorium. The kids in there will never stop being in debt to AllMART.”

I think about Belly. When she complained about the dorms, she complained about everything — except the rent. Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe she thought she was living there free, like a squirrel in a tree. How much does an emergency ambulance cost? What about stitches? When Belly gets back from the SpeedyMed clinic, she is going to find that the dial on the suck-o-meter goes way beyond what she thought was infinity.

Scene:
A young woman is standing in line. Her attention is on her phone screen. Suddenly, it is almost out of power, and the line she’s standing in reaches on and on; we see it from high above, coiling around and around.

Voice-over:
Your right to vote is valuable . . . to us! Simply call us, Vote Bundling Services, and we will tell you how to turn your vote into something
you
want. Stop muddling with middlemen, faceless bureaucracy, and inconvenience. It’s time democracy worked for you! Call Vote Bundling Services now!

Scene:
We see the woman dial.

Young woman:
Hello, Vote Bundling Services? (Smiles. Touches phone screen. Close shot of throbbing green dollar sign.)

Closing shot:
She walks away, confident and energetic, looking fine.

Voice-over:
Vote Bundling Services, because you know what you want — and we give it to you.

If I had a vote, I’d sell it. I won’t have a vote to sell until my eighteenth birthday, and that’s 619 days away.

Chad Manley:
We have a breaking update on the Delores Perdita Cash tuna-custody case.

Sallie Lee:
Does that poor family finally get closure?

Chad Manley:
I know this story is important to all our viewers. Over to you, Sallie.

Sallie Lee:
(Taps her teleprompter pad and reads.) Siftyfour and now it did depend report from all pataries has whole received for the hues of the garvens of today. (Her professional composure wrinkles.) What?

Chad Manley:
Huhhuhhuh! I think you broke the story good, Sallie. Sanjay? (Chad touches his earpiece, nods.) Actually, the tuna-custody case is still frozen.

The real story tonight comes to us from the campaign trail, where the Governor is rolling out a new jobs program.

Governor:
Jobs. That’s what people want and that’s why they vote for me. A vote for me is a vote for jobs. Jobs. Job creators. Today we are here to cut the ribbon on a new facility, one that will provide jobs. And not just jobs — we are putting criminals to work. This empty, useless building . . . (The Governor waves.)

Hey, I know that building. It is Frederick Winslow Taylor High School, where I spent 2,942 hours in Room 2-B. I guess it is empty and useless now.

Governor:
This waste government property is going to be put to use as a guano-mining facility. We — our corporate partner is Bats of Happiness — have already seeded in the colonies of bats that will be producing black gold. By next week, the facility will be fully staffed, putting prisoners to work as productive citizens.

Scene:
The Governor steps forward with a pair of giant novelty scissors and cuts the giant novelty ribbon bow. At the same time, the lids on large cardboard boxes are flipped open. The camera focuses on the top of a box. Nothing happens. A guy in overalls appears, grabs the box, and shakes it. Bats fly out. Everyone in the audience claps, except the Governor, who ducks and covers her hair with her hands. Suddenly the camera is flipped down. All it shows is the sidewalk in front of what used to be Room 2-B.

(Back in the studio.)

Chad Manley:
Things can get rough out there on the campaign trail. Wow. Bats. What do you think about bats, Sallie?

I can see a black, flapping shape rise up from behind Sallie Lee’s perfectly coiffed hair.

It jerks
smack!
right into her face.

Sallie Lee:
I . . . (Screaming and flailing.)

Chad Manley:
Don’t be such a girl! It’s just a toy. A bat-able squeaky bat. Available at Petlandia, AllMART! Show her it’s just a toy, Sanjay. Back in a minute . . .

“This here is a matter of life or death.” He waves his arms wide so I know he means his department, the Great Outdoors, Aisles 123–131. I put on my yes-sir-I’m-paying-attention-sir face and look around: shelves that reach to the metal rafter beams where the indoor sparrows nest, a taxidermied polar bear squishing a taxidermied seal, guns in glass display cases, guns on the wall. “Life or death. You get that, zombie?”

“Zoë, I’m Zoë,” I say, and touch my name tag. It doesn’t help much. My tag says ZERO. “You know how it is with the name tags, right, Karl?” I give him half a smile and a tilted-head shrug.

“I’m Kral. My momma named me Kral. You got that, zombie girl? And when I say zombie, I mean you’re one of them that’s not ready. You got you a bugout bag, zombie? You got you a bag that’s got what you need to survive when it hits the fan?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” I’m not even lying.

“You got a secure shelter? Someplace to go when you can’t go home?”

I think of the Warren. It isn’t home, but it’s shelter. “Yeah.”

“You got food stores?”

I think about the wall of cereal boxes back at the Warren. “Yeah. We have food.”

“The world is full of crazies.”

I’m looking at one, but I’m not going to mention it.

“You got a gun?”

“No. But I’ve got friends.”

“Unless they’re friends with guns, they aren’t friends.”

I can see the gears shifting in Kral’s head. I’m nothing but a trainee-employee so young I can’t be bonded to handle money — even worse, I’m a gunless zombie. I’m worthless. And he is cursed with the thankless task of teaching me what I need to know to be useful in Aisles 123–131, the Great Outdoors, where it’s a matter of life or death if somebody doesn’t find the vacu-packed dehydrated celery.

At 9:45 p.m., the lights dim. Reducing the lights to 60 percent is a signal to the shoppers that they need to head for checkout. Their shopping day is over. By 10:30 the lights are down to 30 percent and the registers have been closed out and the lot wranglers are rattling long snakes made of carts with wobbling wheels home for the night. The store grows silent; the little sparrows close their wings and settle on the beams.

Kral calls me to the register station and inventory comm-terminal. With the main lights down, I notice that there are halogen beams focused on the handguns. I’ve seen that trick before, in the jewelry department: Sparkly, sparkly, don’t you want me? Except here there is no sparkle. The beams of light are swallowed up by gun-shaped chunks of darkness. Then that’s it. That light is gone forever.

“You did good today. You stayed busy.” The praise is grudging, but I earned it. I scurried up the ladder to the top shelves like a squirrel. I sorted out the squid-body fishing lures from the flashers and the dodgers and never once gave in to the urge to pretend they were earrings. When consumers passed through, I made sure I directed them to our special sale item, the Red-E-2-Go emergency kit. When I took my ten-minute bathroom break, I was back in seven. If Kral wanted an excuse to bash me in the training eval, I didn’t give him an obvious one. He starts to type, putting stuff into my permanent employment record. Then he stops and points to the stock cases behind him where the ammunition boxes are stacked behind lock and key. “You see how short the inventory is there?”

I do, and I wish I didn’t. It looks like there’s a lot of work to be done, filling the empty shelves, scanning the bar codes, and placing orders. I don’t get paid for overtime — not during training. And I don’t especially want to be stuck here, in the 30 percent gloom with a dead polar bear and Kral, doing unpaid after-hours work.

“We keep ’em short stocked,” says Kral. “It improves sales. Heightens the perceived value. Know what I mean?”

“Yeah.” I learned about short-stocking in Retail Psychology, but this is the first time a department supervisor at AllMART has suggested anything that deviated from the customer-happiness-comes-first AllMART way. Full shelves signal bounty and free choice, and empty shelves trigger anxiety and paranoia. That’s classroom knowledge. I’m not in a classroom anymore. The customer psychology of purchasing ammunition may differ from the psychology of purchasing radishes.

“You take these.” Kral hands me a stack of business cards:

“Anybody asks you about ammunition, you give them one of these cards before you tell them Aisle 127. You write your name on the back so I know it was a referral. I’ll make sure you get a fair taste.”

I put the stack of cards in my pocket.

“Now, hop up on the counter over there.”

I climb up. I’m almost eye to eye with the dead polar bear. I wonder, is that a real tongue behind those fangs? Or a plastic replacement? Is the polar bear a sort of mannequin, dressed in a fashionable winter-white coat?

“Little more that way,” says Kral. I take a few steps in the direction he points.

“That’s good,” says Kral, and then he unlocks the gun case in front of him.

Crap. I must be in front of the surveillance camera. Kral’s made me into a giant blind spot. He’s going to steal from AllMART, and I’m going to help him. I stand exactly still and shut my eyes so I can be honest when I say I didn’t see anything.

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