Mary Connealy (24 page)

Sophie leaned against the barn and rested her hand on Clay’s strong arm. “I believe that, Clay. I don’t think he remembered you consciously, but I think he missed you all his life. Cliff was a sad man in so many ways. It was like he was always lonely, even when he was surrounded by his family. He was moody and critical, and he wasn’t…well, I wouldn’t have minded so much for myself. I’m an adult woman, and I don’t need a lot of emotional nonsense.”

Clay said quietly, “Maybe you needed a little of it.”

Sophie smiled up at him and shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe I did. But I know the girls needed him to love them. You’ve noticed how they’re always asking you if you’ve quit loving them?”

Clay nodded. “How could they think I’d just quit loving them?”

“Cliff trained them to think that way. Cliff had a way of punishing you for—I wish I could say for being disobedient or bad—but the truth was, he’d do it just because the mood struck him. If there’d been any rhyme or reason to it, we could have learned what his wishes were and tried to please him, but his temper had only to do with his own feelings. We never knew when he was going to have a black mood come over him. Sometimes, he’d go days without talking to any of us.”

“I can’t imagine the girls letting him get away with that. They climb all over me. They never stop chattering and giggling and crying. How could anyone avoid talking to them?” Clay almost sounded envious.

Sophie had to bite back a grin. “Cliff managed it.”

“It sounds like my brother wasn’t a very nice man,” Clay said.

“There were bad times before the war, but he was a complicated man, just like any person is. Mostly, he was all right. He could be a charmer when he wanted to be. He sure convinced me to marry him quick enough. And I’ll always believe he really wanted me, not just my pa’s money. But after the war, it was like he left all the softer parts of himself on the battlefield. I think it was you he was missing. It was like he didn’t want anyone to be close to him. Maybe he’d learned that loving was a risk. It hurt too much.”

“And what about the buildings and the herd?”

Sophie reached down to her side and patted the sturdy barn. “Adam built the barn and the ranch house with his own hands, selected the site, laid out the corrals, and handpicked good stock.”

“Didn’t Cliff do anything?”

Sophie said sheepishly, “He bought Hector.”

Clay’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “What about Adam? Who is he? You’ve mentioned his name before.”

“Adam came with me from my father’s farm. He was an emancipated Negro who had worked as a hired man for my pa all my life. He heard Cliff was taking me to Texas, and after twenty years on the same farm, all of a sudden Adam announced this yearning he’d always had to go west. I never asked, but I think he saw Cliff’s weaknesses better than my folks or I did, and he knew I was going to need help.”

“So then, why’d Adam abandon you?”

“Cliff drove him off. Cliff was a difficult man to work for. He alienated most of the townsfolk, even before he went and fought for the Union. Fighting for the North was the last straw.”

“I fought for the Union. No one’s braced me with it.”

“Maybe it was just Cliff. He didn’t get on with people.”

“Does that include you, Sophie?”

“I loved your brother, Clay,” Sophie said quietly. “I loved him as much as he would let me. I won’t have the girls remembering him unkindly.”

“That’s why you’ve never complained about him. That’s why you do so much of what I think should be man’s work. You’ve always covered for him.”

“I guess you could put it that way. I just saw it as helping.” With a deep sigh, she continued, “A few months after Adam left, my pa and ma died, leaving me a nice bit of money from the sale of their farm. Adam had always urged us to stay out of debt, but Cliff wanted to expand. He bought a lot of land and increased the herd. He even mortgaged our ranch and the cattle, so he could buy all he wanted.” Sophie shaded her eyes and looked at the wooded hills above the house. “He bought all those bluffs to the west.”

“But that’s mostly wasteland.” Clay looked at the rugged timberland.

“And he bought Herefords. He was always wanting red cattle for some reason.” Sophie shook her head.

“Herefords aren’t fit for west Texas. You need longhorns to survive in this dry country.”

“They’re expensive, too. Then he went off to fight, and I held everything together with a couple of old hands and the girls.”

Sophie wondered if Clay would get the hint that they were all seasoned ranchers. Now wasn’t the time to drive that point home. “Then Cliff came back, more distant and sullen than ever. He was here long enough to get his long-dreamed-of son coming along the way.”

“That’d be Laura?” Clay said with a quick grin.

“Cliff would have been furious. He always was when a girl-child was born.”

Clay’s smile vanished. “Cliff was a fool.”

“I think he was trying to replace you, Clay. Without even knowing it, he was longing for another little boy that had been lost to him. He never got his son—at least one that lived.”

When Cliff gave her an astonished look that obviously asked what she meant, she told him of the son she had lost as an infant. As she finished, Sophie’s voice dropped to a whisper, “And he never quit punishing me and the girls for the loss of his son.”

Clay rested one arm across her shoulders, then, when she leaned into him, he pulled her close and hugged her tight. “I’m sorry, darlin’.”

Sophie pulled back a bit. Clay was so close and so warm, it made her head swim. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his chest. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, Clay. I meant it when I said I loved Cliff. It was just that, caring about him like I did always made me sad that I couldn’t find a way to make him happy. He’s the one we should feel sorry for.”

Clay lifted her chin. “Okay, I think I can manage to feel sorry for a man too foolish to know how lucky he was to have a house full of pretty girls all wanting nothing but to love him. And Sophie darlin’…”

Sophie’s head swam a little more, and she hung on to Clay tight. “What?”

“You can fill that house to the rafters with all the baby girls you want, now that you’re married to me. And I promise to be nothing but grateful.”

The thought made Sophie dizzier yet, and her knees collapsed. Clay caught her and hoisted her into his arms. She saw the fear on his face and wondered what she looked like. She felt like all the color had drained from her face, and her eyelids wanted to fall closed.

“Sophie, what’s the matter?”

In that very instant Sophie knew. Of course she knew. She was no young girl still in pinafores, after all. She’d felt this way before. Exactly five times. She said with quiet awe, “I think we might get to filling that house sooner than you think.”

It took him a minute. Sophie almost smiled as she waited for him to add up all the information she’d given him.

“A baby?”

Sophie tucked her head under his strong chin. She took one arm down from where it was wrapped around Clay’s neck and laid her hand on her belly. “The only time I’ve ever come close to fainting in my life was when I was expecting. It’s the first I’ve thought of it, but now I can think of some other symptoms.” She looked into Clay’s shining eyes. “Yes, there’s definitely a baby on the way.
Our
baby.”

Clay swung her a bit in his strong arms and grinned until she thought his face would split in two. “You know they’re all ours, Sophie darlin’, but I can’t help but be tickled to be adding to our brood.”

The smile left his face—replaced by worry. “You can’t go around riding or working outside if you might faint dead away. You’ve got to settle down now. You stay in the house and make sure and not overdo. You need to rest!”

Clay hoisted her a little higher against his chest and started walking toward the house so fast he was practically running. “Mandy is a right handy cook, and if she’s not up to it, Whitey can make enough grub at the bunkhouse for all of us. I don’t want you leaning over the fireplace. You might get dizzy and fall face first into…”

Clay’s voice faded away, and he looked horrified. He hugged her so tight she almost squeaked, but Sophie was enjoying his concern too much to beg him to let her go for so little a thing as breathing.

“And no more riding horseback.”

“Clay, I’m perfectly capable of…”

“If you fainted on the back of a horse, you might break your neck. You might get trampled. We’ll hitch up the team for church and errands in town.” Clay stopped so suddenly he almost skidded. He whirled around to head for the barn.

Sophie’s head started spinning again, but it was the wild ride Clay was giving her at fault, not a baby. “We don’t have to hitch up the team right this minute. We don’t have church or any errands right now.”

Clay lurched to a halt and stared at the barn uncertainly. “We’ve got to tell the doctor you’re expecting so he’s ready when it’s time to deliver the baby.” He began striding rapidly toward the barn. He looked down at Sophie as if he were carrying some dangerous wild animal in his arms. “Maybe the doc should stay out here with us when your time is close.”

Sophie patted Clay’s chest. “Hush now, we don’t need to go to town. I’ve never needed a doctor. Having a baby is the most natural thing in the world. I lived in a thicket and delivered Laura with no one around.”

“No one?” Clay stopped his headlong dash for the barn. His grip loosened on her, and Sophie grabbed hold for fear he might drop her.

“The girls were there, but they slept through it, thankfully. I didn’t want them to see a baby born. It wouldn’t be proper. Anyway, the thicket wasn’t so bad. For mercy’s sake, Clay, I had Mandy along a creek on the trail west. I was alone. Our wagon had broken an axle, and Adam had gone off to the nearest town, which was forty miles away, to get a new one. Cliff didn’t want to see a baby born, so he went off hunting until it was over.”

That didn’t seem to reassure him at all. This time he did drop her. She was ready though. She had a firm hold of his neck, so she landed on her feet. She wondered for a minute if he was going to faint. She suppressed a grin.

Her desire to smile faded as she remembered the rest of the story. “Then Cliff came back. When he saw it was a girl, he wouldn’t speak to me for three days. Then Adam came back. He did everything he could think of for me, but it was all over. There was nothing for him to do. He repaired the wagon, and we continued on the trail for Texas.”

Clay’s pupils dilated. His cheeks flushed with anger. “If my brother were here, I’d beat him to within an inch of his life!”

“At the time, I’d have held him down for you.”

“Well, it’s not gonna be like that this time. There’ll be a doctor, and there’ll be no creek, nor a thicket!” Clay seemed to gather his wits about him. “And you’re not gonna do anything that might hurt you or the baby.”

He seemed happiest when he was issuing orders, so Sophie let him. His eyes suddenly got serious—serious to the point of frantic. He grabbed both her arms and almost beseeched her, “You’re going to sit in that house and rock in a rocking chair and rest!”

“Clay, we don’t own a rocking chair.”

“I’ll build you one.” He slid his hands down her arms until he was gripping her hands tightly. “Please, tell me you’ll stop working outside. I’ve only got two more days until we move the herd up closer to the ranch. If you’ll give me two more days, three at the most, I promise I’ll get to the work you’ve been doing.”

He was squeezing her hands hard enough that she was losing feeling in her fingers. She wanted to make him happy. She really did. That’s why she risked being honest. Anyway, it was high time she told him about the traps she’d set, before he caught himself in one. “The only thing is I’ve got a few booby traps to rig. I’ve hauled tree trunks off to the side of the trails up in the hills. They almost have enough rocks piled behind them to be ready. I need to find a few more rocks and get them in place and rig a trip wire and…”

“Booby traps? What are you talking about?” Clay shook his head, and Sophie got the impression he was trying to jiggle his brains around so they’d work a little better.

“I told you about the booby traps I was going to set. I just need a little more time….”

“And I told you to forget it!” Clay commanded. “I’ll see to the protection of this family, Sophie McClellen. You insult me every time you do it yourself. Now I don’t want you hauling any trees.” Clay’s tone grew increasingly horrified, “Especially in your condition.”

Sophie didn’t think he’d heard her right. She’d already hauled the trees. And most of the rocks. She’d let Hector do the heavy lifting of course. She was determined to try and explain again. The man really needed to know where the booby traps were for his own good.

He swung her back up into his arms as if that was the only way he was going to let her move from now on. His strong arms around her distracted her from pressing the point. He bounced her just a bit as he headed for the house humming to himself. Sophie wasn’t sure, but she thought she recognized “Bringing in the Sheaves.”

As he hoisted her up the steps, he said, “I can’t wait to tell the girls.”

Sophie warned darkly, “There’s only two possible ways they’ll react.”

Clay’s forehead furrowed with concern. “What are those?”

“They’ll either laugh or cry. Maybe both.”

“It’ll be laugh,” Clay said with a firm nod of his head. “They wouldn’t dare break rule number one.”