Mary Ellen Courtney - Hannah Spring 02 - Spring Moon (28 page)

“Oh, Hannah. I wouldn’t do that to my sister.”

“Still. That’s a little funky, don’t you think?”

“She never knew. Anyway, she said he was gay.”

“And you were sleeping with him?”

“He isn’t. He said she wasn’t interested in sex.”

“Well, I can see how that could cause some confusion in a marriage. Why didn’t he marry you?”

“He didn’t like my drinking.”

“He didn’t mind it that much.”

“Oh, Hannah,” she said. “Anyway, he has children now. He still looks really good.”

“You’re in touch with him?”

“We have lunch a couple of times a year.”

“Does Arthur know?”

“He knows I had a fling with him.”

“Flings is more accurate. But not about the lunches?”

“It’s not like that once-a-year movie. Nothing happens. We’re friends. We used to be family.”

“It’s
Same Time, Next Year.
I think we can skip the family reunion riff. So why the secrecy? Does his wife know?”

“No. Anyway, it just started out that way and now it seems awkward to bring it up.”

“It sounds kind of fishy, and not very AA.”

“What’s AA got to do with it? We just have lunch. Jon and Celeste sound fishy to me.”

“They don’t have lunch together,” I said.           

“How do you know?”

“I just do. It’s not easy for me having her in the background.”

“Well, you weren’t the other woman.”

“Were you the other woman?”

“I never wrecked a home, if that’s what you mean. I need to run. I’m meeting Arthur for lunch”

“Did you ever meet the other woman?”

“We’re going to that little place on Cedros with the great soup and sandwich combo.”

“Mom.”

“No, Hannah. I never met her.”

We said good-bye so she could hide out in a soup and sandwich combo. I felt like sleeping for three days. I was dying to talk to Eric. See if he’d known all along that she was sleeping with the married men in town. With Uncle David and his all-American boy smile and tan face. In retrospect, he was Adonis-like. Mom. So they had competed. I’d just been shooting my mouth off when I said that to Judith. She probably married David to punish them both. She’d never seen Chance rain on his own sunny day.

I called Eric but it went to voicemail. I told him to call me stat. Conversations with my mother were like eating a candy bar in the check out line. Anticipation of something good followed by disappointment over the lousy quality. Usually with a certain amount of cranky sugar rush thrown in. I collapsed into a too-much-information coma.

Jon was sound asleep next to me a few hours later. Poor guy, he looked exhausted. I watched him sleep until he came to. I related the conversation with my mother. He was lying on his back, laughing so hard tears filled his ears. He barked when I got to the part about it not being very AA.

“There must be something in AA that covers sneaking around behind your husband’s back with an old lover,” he said. “Even if he was family.”

“I don’t want to hear any hillbilly comments,” I said. “She said you and Celeste probably have lunch.”

“She would,” he said. “I’m not that big an asshole.”

He looked at me like the big brat he could be. Uh oh.

“Maybe the kids can invite David and his family to their wedding.”

“You’re a trouble maker,” I said.

“And Jackie’s not? What a thing to lay on you now. You almost dying stole her limelight.”

“She’s just being Jackie.”

“My point. I like the invitation idea. Did he know Adam when he was growing up?”

“When he was a baby. I haven’t talked to Eric yet. For all I know they still swap Christmas cards.”

“I’m going to talk to Chana,” he said.

“Don’t you dare. Think about Arthur. He’ll be so hurt. This thing could blow up.”

“Okay. We’ll see what Eric and Anna know first.”

“Oh brother. I’m sorry I told you.”

“Ed called,” he said. “They’re in. We’ll see them tomorrow.”           

Jon answered a call from work and his voice made the whole bed vibrate. I longed to be back together with him. He hung up and looked over at me.

“I love your voice,” I said.

He smiled. I slid my hand down his belly. He stopped it and smiled back.

“You need to get in the water,” he said.

“I can skip it,” I said.

“You shouldn’t. You need to keep at it.”

“It was just a thought,” I said.

“It was a nice one,” he said. “Let’s go.”

We had a swim and then a family dinner around the kitchen table. Meggie was branching out into chicken and carrots drowning in soy sauce. We got them to bed and reconvened on the lanai. I called Eric.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. “I was just going to call.”

“I’ll be coming over in a few weeks to have the surgery.”

“Mom told Anna you might stay with Asp. She drinking again?”

“Arthur must have finally boinked her brains loose. When did Anna talk to Mom?”

“This afternoon. Why?”

He knew my tone of voice; something was coming around a blind corner at him. I told him about Mom and David. It was news to him. He was uncharacteristically quiet on the other end.            

“Well, what do you think?” I asked.

“I’m processing here. My motherboard is smoking. What the fuck. Was she serious?”

“As serious as antibiotic resistant TB.”

Antibiotic resistant TB? A simple plague would have sufficed.

“Antibiotic resistant TB?” he asked.

“Whatever. Jon wants to invite David to the wedding.”

Eric burst out laughing.

“Oh hell no. Fuck me. No. Tell Jon it’s never going to happen.”

“Do you still exchange Christmas cards?” I asked.

“Sure. They send a family picture. I put it front and center on the mantle when Asp comes over on Christmas Eve.”

“I knew it,” I said.

I told Jon no invite. He said it might come from the bride’s side of the family.

“I heard that,” said Eric. “Tell him no fucking way.”

I told Jon no ffing way. He just smiled.

“I heard him,” said Jon.

“He heard you,” I said. “Chance flinched in his basket. So you didn’t know?”

“Hell no. I bought the gay story. Didn’t make any sense, but what do I know?”

“Your daughter is gay.”

“Anna always knew. I just thought we’d succeeded in scaring her out of sex before marriage,” he said. “Did she sound embarrassed? Damn, his wife looks just like Mom.”

“She didn’t sound anything. She said they didn’t get married because David didn’t like her drinking. He didn’t mind banging her though.”

“He’d probably sleep with Asp on the side.”

“It doesn’t sound like Asp was a big factor,” I said.

I thought about Asp’s current husband.

“Do you think Jim is gay?” I asked.

“The way he was dancing with Chana at the wedding? I doubt it. Frustrated maybe.”

“He danced with Chana?”

Jon’s eyes slid my way.

“Adam handled it,” said Eric.

“What did Adam do?” I asked.

Jon smiled.

“He extricated her,” said Eric.

“Ah. Extricated her.” I said.

“I know Jon is listening. Just put me on speaker.”

I hit speaker.

“Hey, Eric,” said Jon. “So Jim was pawing my daughter?”

“Yeah. Same way he did Hannah.”

Jon’s eyes slid my way.

“He didn’t paw me,” I said. “He ran his finger down my tailbone and said that was the part he likes best. It was years ago. I was probably Chana’s age.”

“Yeah. You were going through your thong bikini phase,” he said. “Glad that’s behind us. You’d be singing a different song if his finger had slipped on that Brazilian oil you used to shine up your ass.”

Jon’s eyes were back on me. Jesus. A puritan frat boy.

“Okay,” I said. “What do we think?”

“We think Asp is a lesbian,” said Anna. “Hi, Jon.”

They’d had me on speaker the whole time.

“Hey, Anna. Have you seen the kids?” asked Jon.

“They were here over the weekend. They’re great,” said Anna.

“Can we please finish with Asp?” I asked. “What makes you think she’s a lesbian?”

“What else could it be when she marries two guys she claims are gay?” asked Eric.

“Maybe she’s not interested in them. She doesn’t have to be a lesbian not to be interested.”

They were all quiet thinking it over.

“Could be,” said Anna. “I don’t get the vibe. She always says her first husband was her golden boy cut down in his prime. Her true love. I’m surprised how often we run into that in my business. People feel compelled to remarry and torture the innocent. Nobody can compete with a myth.”

“She’s always putting down Mom,” I said. “Saying Daddy wasn’t really nice to her.”

“That’s bullshit,” said Eric.

“Asp wanted children,” I said.

“That’s a scary thought,” said Eric.

We all fell quiet again.

“And now she puts down Arthur, of all people,” I said. “I’m so glad she met him.”

“She’s looking a little worn out,” said Eric. “I don’t think her toilet paper wrap is registering with him.”

Anna was laughing.

“She said she slept with men over the years, married men,” I said. “At least one was the father of a friend of mine.”

“Yeah,” said Eric.

“You knew that?”

“She’s a grown woman,” said Eric.

“It’s the married men part that gets me,” I said. “Her husband had an affair and she turned around and did the same thing to other women.”

“She was drinking. Not exactly trustworthy. We wouldn’t have liked anyone drunk enough to stick around,” said Eric.

“So a string of married men servicing our mother spared me having an alcoholic stepfather?”

“Let’s not refer to her as being serviced and boinked,” said Eric.

“She was banging her brother-in-law,” I said.

“Not while he was married,” he said. “He’s probably the only single guy she slept with until Arthur.”

“I wonder if she did the toilet paper wrap when she was sleeping around,” said Anna.

“There’s not much sleeping with married guys,” said Jon.

Oh brother, he would know that. He smiled at me, clueless about what he’d just said.

“I’m going to bed,” I said. “Jon can tell you the plan for my trip. Night.”

Jon took over the phone and I staggered off to bed. I closed the bedroom door to Jon and Anna laughing, and Eric telling them to knock it off.

Jon was against my back, breathing in my ear at 3:00 a.m. He didn’t feel asleep.

“Are you awake?” I whispered.

“Oiled your ass?”

His lips were on my ear. So there you have it. Apparently the thought of an oiled ass in a thong wasn’t as abhorrent to frat boy as it was to my husband, who’d lost interest in his wife.

We woke again at 7:00 with Meggie between us. I trusted she had joined us after 3:05. Frat boys are fast. I hadn’t even rolled over.

I peeked at Chance. He was awake and thinking things over, so I took him out to the beach. Jon came out a few minutes later and sat down. I scooped out a seat for Chance and laid him in the cool sand. He watched his parents watch the sea. We watched until the screen door slammed and Chop squealed. A new day had begun.

“Ed’s coming for breakfast, then a walk if you want,” he said.

He scooped up Chance, helped me to my feet and kissed the top of my head. We headed back to the house. I wanted to ask about the sex but something about his body language didn’t want the question. We’d talked once, against our better judgment and fueled by too much wine, about our dream fantasies. I’d said that I dreamt about Jon mostly, and old boyfriends. He dreamt about strangers and doing it in dicey situations. He’d treated me like a stranger at 3:00 a.m.

I heard Ed in the kitchen, as I got dressed. He looked up when I came in. Trouble flickered across his face. I touched my fuzzy head.

“I really cut it off this time,” I said.

“You look beautiful,” he said. “Alive.”

“There is that,” I said.

We hugged for a long time.

“Where’re you going for breakfast?” asked Jon.

“I thought we’d go to Grinds,” said Ed.

“We’re going out?” I asked.

“Will you stop at Ace, H?” asked Jon. “I need WD-40 for Meg’s trike. Get two.”

I looked back and forth at them; they were a study in casual. I felt a surge of panic at the idea of leaving home. Wow. They knew.

“Is Jimmy coming tonight?” I asked.

“For dinner. Jimmy and Keith, Ed and Nancy,” said Jon. “Take a nap.”

I went to the kitchen desk to get my purse off the back of the chair. I didn’t have a purse anymore.

“Do you know where my wallet is?” I asked.

“I have your drivers license and some credit cards. Everything else was toast,” said Jon. “Buy a wallet while you’re out. Maybe they have them at the drug store.”

I went in the bedroom, dug around in my bottom drawer and pulled out a big nylon travel purse I used for work. It would hold a smaller purse, laptop, book, toothbrush, clean underwear, and dozens of other travel necessities. It was from a different life. I could almost smell India on it.

Jon had a checkbook put together for me with my license, cards, and some cash. It disappeared into the bowels of the collapsed bag. I threw in the lip gloss, swallowed by the abyss. Jon handed me my cell phone, the black hole of Calcutta swallowed that too. The scraps of my little life disappeared into a former life that had been big and jammed with creative challenges and a sense of accomplishment. I needed to fill it up again. I looked at Jon. He was smiling. 

“Have fun,” he said.

“Have fun, Mama,” said Meggie.

“You too, Angel. Be a good girl while I’m gone.”

I immediately regretted bringing up the idea of good girl, or being gone. Ed was holding the kitchen door open. I looked back in the kitchen to see them a last time, and then realized what a crazy thought that was. We were just going to have breakfast and buy WD-40.

“I love you guys,” I said.

“We’re right here,” said Jon.

We made the long journey down the ramp and into the car. I hadn’t been in a car; I hadn’t even been out the kitchen door since I came home from the hospital.