Mary Poppins Opens the Door (13 page)

H
I
!" shouted Mr. Banks, angrily, as he rattled the umbrellas in the Elephant's Leg that stood in the front hall.

"What is it now, George?" called Mrs. Banks, from the foot of the kitchen stairs.

"Somebody's taken my walking sticks!" Mr. Banks sounded like a wounded tiger.

"Here they are, Sir!" said Mary Poppins, as she tripped down from the Nursery. In one hand she carried a silver-headed ebony cane. From the other swung a grey ash stick with a curved nobbly handle. Without another word, and looking very superior, she handed the sticks to Mr. Banks.

"Oh!" he said, rather taken aback. "Why did you want them, Mary Poppins? I hope you haven't got a bad leg!"

"No, thank you, Sir!" she said with a sniff. And you knew by the haughty tone of her voice that Mr. Banks had insulted her. A bad leg, indeed! As if her legs, as well as every other part of her, were not in perfect condition!

"It was us!" said Jane and Michael together, peering out at their Father from behind Mary Poppins.

"You! What's the matter with
your
fat legs? Are they lame, or crippled or what?"

"Nothing's the matter," said Michael plaintively. "We wanted the sticks for horses."

"What! My Great-uncle Herbert's ebony cane and the stick I won in the Church Bazaar!" Mr. Banks could hardly believe his ears.

"Well, we've nothing to ride on!" grumbled Jane.

"Why not the rocking-horse—dear old Dobbin?" called Mrs. Banks from the kitchen.

"I hate old Dobbin. He creaks!" said Michael, and he stamped his foot at his Mother.

"But Dobbin doesn't
go
anywhere. We want real horses!" protested Jane.

"And I'm to provide them, I suppose!" Mr. Banks strode, fuming, down the hall. "Three meals a day are not enough! Warm clothes and shoes are merely trifles! Now you want horses! Horses, indeed! Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a camel?"

Michael looked at his Father with a pained expression. Really, he thought, what shocking behaviour! But aloud he said patiently——

"No, thank you. Just horses!"

"Well, you'll get them when the moon turns blue! That's all I can say!" snapped Mr. Banks.

"How often does that happen?" Jane enquired.

Mr. Banks looked at her angrily. What stupid children I've got, he thought. Can't understand a figure of speech!

"Oh—every thousand years or so. Once in a lifetime—if you're lucky!" he said crossly. And, stuffing the cane into the Elephant's Leg, he hooked the ash stick over his arm and started for the City.

Mary Poppins smiled as she watched him go. A curious, secret smile it was, and the children wondered what it meant.

Mrs. Banks came bustling up the kitchen stairs. "Oh dear! Mary Poppins, what do you think! Miss Lark's dog Willoughby has just been in and eaten a tyre off the perambulator!"

"Yes, ma'am," replied Mary Poppins calmly, as though nothing that Willoughby ever did could possibly surprise her.

"But what shall we do about the shopping?" Mrs. Banks was almost in tears.

"I really couldn't say, I'm sure." Mary Poppins gave her head a toss, as though neither dogs nor perambulators were any concern of hers.

"Oh, must we go shopping?" grumbled Jane.

"I'm sick of walking," said Michael crossly. "I'm sure it's bad for my health."

Mrs. Banks took no notice of them. "Perhaps, Mary Poppins," she suggested nervously, "you could leave Annabel at home today and take Robertson Ay to carry the parcels."

"He's asleep in the wheelbarrow," Jane informed them. She had looked through the window, just after breakfast, and seen him taking his morning rest.

"Well, he won't be there long," said Mary Poppins. And she stalked out into the garden.

She was quite right. He wasn't there long. She must have said something Really Awful, for as they trailed after her down the path Robertson Ay was waiting at the garden gate.

"Keep up and don't straggle, if you please! This is not a Tortoise Parade." Mary Poppins took a Twin by each hand and hurried them along beside her.

"Day in and day out, it's always the same. I never get a moment's peace." Robertson Ay gave a stifled yawn as he handed Jane his hat to carry and stumbled along beside her.

Down the High Street marched Mary Poppins, glancing at the windows now and again to admire her own reflection.

Her first stop was at Mr. TVimlet's—Ironmonger, Hardware and Garden Tools.

"One mouse-trap!" she said haughtily, as she darted in at the door of the shop and read from Mrs. Banks' list.

Mr. Trimlet was a bony man with a large purplish face. He was sitting behind the counter with his hat on the back of his head. And the morning paper was propped around him like an old Chinese screen.

"Only one?" he asked rudely, peering round the edge of the screen to look at Mary Poppins. "Sorry, Miss!" he said with a leer. "But one trap wouldn't be worth me while!" He shook his head and was about to turn away when he caught the look on her face. His purple cheeks turned the colour of lilac.

"Just my joke," he said hurriedly. "No offence meant! Why, I'd sell
'alf
a mouse-trap if I thought
you
wanted it. Not to mention a nice bit o' cheese to go with it."

"One mincing machine," said Mary Poppins, as she fixed him with a stare.

"And I'll throw in a pound of steak for luck," said Mr. Trimlet eagerly.

Mary Poppins took no notice.

"Half-a-dozen pot cleaners, one tin of bees' wax, one floor mop," she read out quickly.

"Setting up 'ouse?" enquired Mr. Trimlet, smiling nervously as he tied up the parcels.

"A packet of nails and a garden rake," she went on. She looked right through his purple face as though it were made of glass.

"And wot about the sawdust?" he enquired. "All that wot them children has spilt?"

Mary Poppins spun round. Jane and Michael and the Twins were sitting comfortably on a fat brown sack, and their weight had squeezed a stream of sawdust out on to the floor. Her eyes blazed.

"If you don't get up this minute——" she began. And her voice was so frightful that they sprang to their feet without waiting to hear the rest of the sentence. Robertson Ay, who had been asleep on a garden-roller, woke up with a start and began to collect the parcels.

"We were only resting our legs——" Michael began.

"One More Word and you'll find yourself resting in Bed! I warn you!" she told him fiercely.

"I'll make no charge," declared Mr. THmlet, as he hurriedly swept up the sawdust. "Seein' it's you!" he added eagerly, still trying to be friendly.

Mary Poppins gave him a contemptuous stare.

"There's paint on your nose," she announced calmly, and stalked out of the shop.

Then off she went, like a human whirlwind, speeding up the High Street. And off went the children and Robertson Ay, wheeling behind her like the tail of a comet.

At the Baker's she bought a loaf of bread, two boxes of tarts and some ginger biscuits.

"Don't mind me," sighed Robertson Ay as she piled them into his arms.

"I won't!" she retorted cheerfully, as she hurried on to the Greengrocer's for peas, beans and cherries.

"The Last Straw breaks the Camel's back," said Robertson Ay, as she thrust them at him.

"So they say!" she remarked with a chilly smile and consulted her list again.

The next place was the Stationer's, where she bought a bottle of ink; and then she went to the Chemist for a packet of mustard plasters.

By now they had come to the end of the High Street. But still Mary Poppins did not stop. The children looked at each other and sighed. There were no more shops. Where could she be going?

"Oh, dear, Mary Poppins, my legs are breaking!" said Michael, limping pathetically.

"Can't we go home now, Mary Poppins? My shoes are worn out!" complained Jane.

And the Twins began to whimper and whine like a couple of fretful puppies.

Mary Poppins regarded them all with disgust.

"A set of Jellyfish—that's what you are! You haven't a backbone between you!"

And popping the shopping-list into her bag, she gave a quick contemptuous sniff and hurried round the corner.

"A Jellyfish swims," said Michael angrily. "And it doesn't have to go shopping!" He was so tired that he almost didn't care whether Mary Poppins heard him or not.

The breeze blew gently from the Park, full of the scents of the morning. It smelt of laurel leaves and moss, and something else that was vaguely familiar. What could it be? Jane sniffed the air.

"Michael!" she whispered. "I smell Peppermint!"

Michael sniffed like a sulky little dog.

"Um-hum," he admitted, "I do, too!"

And then it was that they both noticed the red-and-green umbrella. It stood beside the iron railings on the Town side of the Park. Against it leaned a large white signboard.

MISS CALICO
CONFECTIONER
HORSES FOR HIRE

said the words in big black letters.

The children stared.

For beneath the red-and-green umbrella sat one of the strangest little figures they had ever seen. At first they could not make out what it was, for it sparkled and glittered like a diamond. Then they saw that it was a small elderly lady with a skinny, leathery, yellow face and a mane of short white hair. The glitter and sparkle came from her dress, which was covered from collar to hem with pins. They stuck out all over her, like the quills of a hedgehog, and whenever she moved they flashed in the sunlight. In her hand she held a riding-whip. And every now and again she cracked it at one of the passers-by.

"Peppermint Candy! Bargain Prices! All of it made of Finest Sugar!" she cried in a little whinnying voice as the whip swished through the air.

"Come on, Michael!" said Jane excitedly, forgetting how tired she was.

He took her hand and let her drag him towards the striped umbrella. And as they drew nearer the sparkling figure, they saw a sight that filled them with hunger. For beside her stood a pottery jar that was filled with peppermint walking-sticks.

"Sugar and Spice
And all that's nice
At a Very Special
Bargain Price!"

sang the little old lady, cracking her whip.

And just at that moment she turned her head and spied the straggling group. Her dark eyes glittered like little black currants as she thrust out a bird-like hand.

"Well, I never! If it isn't Mary Poppins! I haven't seen you in a month of Tuesdays!"

"The same to you, so to speak, Miss Calico!" Mary Poppins replied politely.

"Well, it all just goes to show!" said Miss Calico. "If you know what I mean!" she added, grinning. Then her bright black gaze fell upon the children.

"Why, Mercy Me and a Jumping Bean! What a quartet of sulky faces! Cross-patch, draw the latch! You all look as if you'd lost something!"

"Their tempers," said Mary Poppins grimly.

Miss Calico's eyebrows went up with a rush, and her pins began to flash.

"Thundering Tadpoles! Think of that! Well, what's lost must be found—that's the law! Now—where did you lose 'em?"

The little black eyes went from one to another and somehow they all felt guilty.

"I think it must have been in the High Street," said Jane in a stifled whisper.

"Tlit! Hit! All that way back? And
why
did you lose 'em, might one ask?"

Michael shuffled his feet and his face grew red. "We didn't want to go on walking——" he began shamefacedly. But the sentence was never finished. Miss Calico interrupted him with a loud shrill cackle.

"Who does? Who does? I'd like to know? Nobody wants to go on walking. I wouldn't do it myself if you paid me. Not for a sackful of rubies!"

Michael stared. Could it really be true? Had he found at last a grown-up person who felt as he did about walking?

"Why, I haven't walked for centuries," said Miss Calico. "And what's more, none of my family does. What—stump on the ground on two flat feet? They'd think that quite beneath them!" She cracked her whip and her pins flashed brightly as she shook her finger at the children.