Master Me (34 page)

“Of course I do,” Connor said without hesitation.

“Then why deprive yourself of that?” Helen was sitting cross-legged on the bed, but she moved to her knees, her back straight, her hands on her thighs, just as Connor liked her. “Connor, you told me once that you weren’t a traditional Dom. You don’t make me call you by a special name, though sometimes I wish you would, so why make me do something that you don’t even like just because other Doms do?”

One thing she loved about Connor was that he never dismissed anything she said out of hand. She watched her consider what she’d said and saw the moment when he’d accepted it, his mouth twitching into a half-smile.

“I see your point,” he said. “Okay, let’s turn it around. Sleeping in this bed with me can be part of your routine rather than a reward to be earned, but it’s still a privilege and if I don’t think your behaviour’s been up to scratch, I might decide to punish you with a night on the floor. Or I might choose another way of disciplining you. It’s really up to me, isn’t it?”

“Always,” Helen said and lowered her head, the single word sending a pulse of excitement through her.

God, she loved this. It had only been a few hours, but she could feel her submission in a way that she never had before, experiencing it on a deeper level. She was still hesitant, still feeling her way, but her confidence was growing. They’d talked far into the night, sharing confessions and fantasies with a frankness that had left Helen shaken to the point of tears.

“I just couldn’t get a feel for what was possible and what wasn’t,” she’d murmured, her head against Connor’s shoulder as his fingers stroked her hair. “I got so scared of you laughing at me for asking for something totally unworkable that it was easier to go back to what I was used to in the way of a relationship and let you decide how far to take it.”

“And I was playing it safe because I didn’t want to scare you off. Which was stupid of me. I should have seen that you were ready for more than a spanking here and there and some fairly standard bondage.” Connor had shaken his head. “Communication is one of the cornerstones of a good relationship, especially one like ours and I blew it. I didn’t talk to you, I just watched you slip away before I’d even really had you.”

She’d clutched at him, kissed him fervently, beseechingly. “Don’t let me go anywhere. I don’t want to. I just want you.”

“Troy,” he’d said against her hair, the word muffled. “My Troy.” It was the one pet name he’d given her, shorthand for saying that just as the original Helen of Troy had been, as far as Connor was concerned, Helen was just as beautiful and cherished. He didn’t use it often, but when he did, Helen melted.

“Of course,” Connor said, bringing Helen’s thoughts back to the present, “I might make you sleep on the floor even when your behaviour’s been exemplary.”

Helen smiled at him, not minding that he was teasing her, but her smile faded when his own expression remained serious. “But that’s not fair!”

Connor put the list on the bedside table and raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

“If I’ve been good, why would you punish me?” Helen said, striving to keep her voice level and calm. “That doesn’t seem to make sense.”

“Only because you’re still compartmentalising,” Connor said. He made a face. “Sorry. Chalk that one up to spending too long talking to accountants this past week. Look, if I decided, just for no reason at all, right now, to spank you, would you mind?”

“No,” Helen said truthfully. Her backside felt hot and tender, but she didn’t think that Connor intended to pull her across his knee and if he had done, she wouldn’t have struggled. She wanted Connor to push her limits.

“Even if you hadn’t misbehaved? Even if I were doing it simply because I wanted the pleasure of watching your arse turn a delectable shade of scarlet and hearing you sob and yelp?”

Helen couldn’t help squirming at the image Connor had created as if his hand were really smacking down against her flesh. “No, of course I wouldn’t mind.”

“So why would you mind me ordering you to sleep on the floor, just to watch you submit gracefully to an order? I like having you asleep beside me if I wake in the night, even if you do have a terrible habit of turning over and dragging all the covers with you, but I’d get one hell of a kick out of you on the floor, too. More than I would if that was where you usually slept, as it happens.”

Connor’s logic should have been confusing, but after a moment Helen nodded, understanding what he meant. “You wouldn’t be getting off on me being on the floor as much as me obeying an order.”

“Exactly,” Connor said with a warmly approving smile. He sighed, the sound close to a groan. “You have
no
idea how much I’m looking forward to you submitting to me. Not just a superficial obedience with you rolling your eyes inside at my whims but a genuine, deep submission that comes from you and leaves you feeling as fulfilled as me.”

“I want that too,” Helen said. She added tentatively, “Connor, could you—can I call you something? Something different, maybe ‘sir’, so that I know when we’re playing?”

“We’re not playing,” he said. “And that would mean that you never called me anything but ‘sir’ because this isn’t something that stops and starts, Helen. This is the way it is between us. You’re my submissive, always, and I’m your Dom. No time-outs, no breaks. That’s another mistake I made, letting you feel that at certain times you could behave like a girlfriend. You’re not. I love you to the point where I hardly recognise myself at times, but even if we get married, which is certainly something I’m hoping we do in the future, I’m never going to want to be anything but your Dom.”

Helen came close to pouting before she caught herself. She’s asked for something and Connor had said no.
Accept not argue
, she told herself and felt that decision resonate within her.

“Yes, Connor,” she said and straightened her back even more.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Connor said.

She could see that he was hard now, his cock visible through the folds of his robe. As she watched, he dropped his hand down to play with it, as unself-conscious as if he was alone.

“I think we’ve done enough discussing for the moment. You can rewrite that list later, incorporating all the amendments and print off a copy for each of us, but right now…”

“Yes, Connor,” Helen said again, her lips parted as her breathing quickened. What was he going to do? She didn’t know now that everything had changed between them, and the uncertainty was as much of a turn-on as the anticipation.

Connor shrugged out of his robe and spread his legs. “Kneel between my legs and suck me. No hands, just your mouth,” he said.

Helen moved, but he raised his hand, halting her. “When I give you a direct order, acknowledge it, please, unless you’re gagged or I’ve already told you not to speak, in which case, you can nod. Understand?”

“Yes, Connor.” The repetition of those two words was like a drumbeat, a slow pounding reverberating, building tension. She could see herself screaming them, choking them out of a tear-tight throat, murmuring them brokenly as Connor made her body sing and soar.

She got between his legs and put her hands behind her back, out of temptation’s way. Her long hair was loose and when she leant forward, bowing her back, it fell forward, brushing against Connor’s body even if her hands were forbidden to copy it. Connor reached down and pushed it back behind her ears.

“It feels good on me, but I want to see you. Be imaginative and take your time. You know what I like.”

Helen murmured, “Yes, Connor,” yet again and traced the head of Connor’s cock with the tip of her tongue as his foreskin slipped back, exposing it fully. With no hands, she couldn’t do everything that she wanted to, but she guessed that Connor wouldn’t want to climax like this anyway. The blow job was the starter, not the main course.

His recent shower had robbed his skin of its scent, but his cock, with a clear fluid welling up from the slit, was already redolent of his arousal. She lapped eagerly at it, catching the rounded head between her teeth with the utmost care to hold it in place. Connor didn’t help her at all. He lay back against the propped-up pillows and watched her, his eyes narrowed, his hands by his sides, his fingers relaxed, cupping air.

She released his cock and rubbed her closed mouth against it, balls to tip, then her cheeks, smearing them with a glaze of pre-cum, so that when he kissed her, he’d smell himself on her, taste himself. She loved being marked invisibly like this, appealing to him on a primal, visceral level.

Connor had told her once that people washed too often. “Clean is good,” he’d said, “but there’s something about the way you smell after I’ve fucked you, all ripe and musky that I can’t get enough of. Perfumes try to mimic that, but they never get it right.”

“Napoleon once wrote to tell Josephine that he was coming to see her and that she wasn’t to take a bath,” Helen had said, a piece of trivia she’d read somewhere floating up from her memory.

“That’s right. ‘I will return soon from war. Do not wash.’” Connor had quoted with a nod. “He knew what he was talking about, though maybe Josephine would have been a bit too much for a modern nose after a couple of weeks without a bath.”

Now, she mouthed and licked at the hard, jutting cock, shamelessly rubbing her face against it, getting it wet with saliva then finally taking it into her mouth. She wanted it deep, choking her, wanted to feel it inside her. Her favourite position for doing this was with Connor straddling her breasts, his hands gripping the headboard that her hands were bound to, as he fucked her mouth. He’d order her to lie still, but she never could, writhing against the sheets, revelling in being used, her empty, waiting cunt soaked and swollen.

“Hold still,” Connor said, his voice quiet, the words dropping into the peace of the room like rain into a pool of water. He began to move, his cock sliding between her lips and back in an uneven, unpredictable way so that Helen couldn’t do much beyond shaping her mouth to fit the shape of his cock. Her hands were still in the small of her back, the fingers of one hand wrapped around the wrist of the other.

After a few minutes, she could feel his climax approaching, aware of it not from the bitten-off gasps as his breathing became ragged, but the subtle hardening of his already rigid cock. He put his palm against her shoulder and pushed her back, away from him, his cock slipping free, glistening and dark red.

“Enough.”

Helen knelt back again, resuming the position he’d taught her to use when she was waiting for his next command. She didn’t wipe her face dry, but she did lick her lips, numb from use.

“I want to give you a lesson in the relative unimportance of positions,” Connor said after a moment, sounding surprisingly back in control for a man who minutes earlier had been groaning her name.

Helen waited. She wasn’t sure what he meant, but he would tell her if he wanted her to know.

“You like me on top of you,” Connor said, his gaze locked onto her face. “Like feeling my weight on you or kneeling so that I can take you from behind.”

Helen ventured a cautious nod and Connor smiled.

“It doesn’t matter where I am, sweetheart. I could go to my knees in front of you and lick your cunt and I’d still be in control of the scene and you. I don’t think you get that, not deep down. You need to learn that no matter where you are and what you’re doing, I’m in charge.”

Helen closed her eyes, picturing herself standing naked in the middle of the room, her legs spread, staring down at Connor while he buried his tongue deep inside her, sucking avidly at the drenched folds of her cunt or going behind her to tease her stubborn, furled arsehole open with his tongue. Standing there, told to be unmoving, silent, while he took what he wanted from her, dizzy with the need to touch the thick hair springing from his forehead or his wide shoulders, to whimper out his name.

She wanted to tell Connor that she
did
understand, God, she did, but if he wanted to school her with the patient care she’d grown to love then she’d be the perfect pupil even if she did know the lesson by heart.

“Ride me,” Connor said, his hands holding his cock away from his body so that it pointed up. “Keep your hands where they are.”

Helen didn’t think that they’d ever used this position, though. Connor had once spanked her with his cock inside her, Helen on top of him, facing his feet. She’d been forbidden to move an inch and he hadn’t fucked her like that, just rained slaps down on her backside until she’d broken for him, the heat of her punished skin seeming to flood her body, a climax unlike any she’d experienced before, its source the sound of the slaps, crisp and sweet, and the wild, blazing pain.

She moved into position over Connor and felt his cock ease into her as she sank down, filling her, so thick and hard. With a small moan, she began to ride him, too aroused to be patient, speeding up until she could feel her climax within reach.

“Stop,” Connor said.

Helen couldn’t. Not when she was already sliding down, impaling herself on him, craving every inch. Connor’s palm connected with the side of her arse, a sharp, chiding spank.

“I told you to stop. Move up a little, no, more than that.”

When the head of his cock was just barely inside her, he nodded. “Stay like that.”

“How long?” Helen asked through gritted teeth, every nerve in her body jangling.

That earned her another slap in exactly the same spot. “I gave you an order. What should you have said?”

She gathered her scattered thoughts. “Yes, Connor.”

“And why don’t you answer your question? How long will you stay like this, Helen?”

Helen sighed, careful not to slump. “For as long as you want me to.”

“That’s right,” Connor said. He tweaked one of her nipples. “Yes, I like this position. My hands are free and you’re very much available to be touched.”

Helen was panting now, her thigh muscles beginning to protest and her body quivering with the need to slam down, hard, and take whatever consequences would follow.

“I wouldn’t,” Connor said pleasantly, reading her mind. “If you move or come without permission, I’ll punish you. I’m enjoying this and I don’t want it to end for quite some time.”