Match This! (The UnSocial Dater#1) (8 page)

“Little girl, she’s three,” I answer.

“I can’t wait to have babies,” she says with a coo. “You need to get married so you and I can have kids—”

“Eww, no, not happening. They’re little germ spreading, time suckers, who rip apart your vag. Not interested.”

“Ever?” she asks.

“No. Not ever.”

I know where this conversation will lead, hell I visit it at least once a month with my Mom-ster, I mean mother, so I decide to sway the conversation to my second least favorite subject, weddings.

“So, when is the big day?”

****

It’s insanely busy for a Tuesday night at the shop. It’s two others besides me; Marcus and Zack. Today’s schedule was spot on, but we’ve had a few walk-ins, and the boys seem to think they’re fucking supermen. Marcus knows his shit; Zack gets led by his dick. I haven’t seen so many nipple and hood piercings since the owners left Ricco and myself in charge of FS.

Ricco puts up with it, he has no problem staying open past closing. Me, I have little tolerance for the shit. We alternate weeks between opening and closing; this is my week to close. I am just coming off two days with no ‘O’s’ in sight, due to mother nature’s cruel joke to women, and I am a miserable bitch. Hey, at least I can admit it.
And,
it’s Taco Tuesday at Mario’s, so not cool.

“You pissed?” Marcus asks, setting the consent forms on the counter after checking out one of his regular customers.

“It’s Taco Tuesday, what do you think?”

“I can lock up. You can go get your Taco Tuesday’ed,” he winks.

“For your information, I wasn’t going to hook up.
So
fuck you,” I say grabbing his sheet and scanning it into the computer.

I look over and he is thumbing through Ricco’s schedule book. He refuses to use the computer, says someday it will crash and we’ll all be fucked, except him. We just barely convinced him to get a smartphone.

Marcus laughs and looks at me, then back at the book.

“What?” I ask stepping over to hand him the forms. He closes the book quickly and shoves it under the pile of supplier catalogs.

He reaches his long, thin, yet cut, arm, covered in some really cool ink, and pets the back of my head.

“Do I look like a damn dog to you?” I jerk away.

“No, Kat, no you don’t. You look beautiful,” he says basically cooing.

“One of us has to. Now get out of here and finish the bitch’s ass you’re inking.”

Marcus is six-foot-tall, lean muscular build. You know the type of person you hate because they eat everything in sight yet still don’t gain a pound?
Yeah
, he’s that person. His face is chiseled, prominent cheek bones, square-ish jaw and a nose that I’m sure was perfect, until it was broken a few times due to fights. He’s a tom cat. A ladies’ man. The guy that will jump in the middle of an argument between two drunken lovers, stop it with his fist only to end up with the girl between his sheets. He’s very high strung. I was sure he had too much energy to do this for a living but all that energy seems to turn into creativity.

Zack is a gym rat. Built like a house. He’s not quite six foot, brown hair and the wildest colored eyes, almost violet. Against his tanned skin they pop. He’s a pretty boy and the giggly girls love him. He loves them too.

Then there’s Ricco. Six foot four, dark skin with green eyes. He’s not pretty like Zack or stunning and sharp like Marcus. Ricco is big. A beast of a man really. He is broad, has a nice chest, nipples pierced, six pack abs, but not cut. Just…
big.

His laid back attitude is what seems to appeal to the broads that walk in here seeking him. He doesn’t smile a lot but he smirks. He has the devil in his eyes all the time.

When I first met him I wanted to gouge his eyes out. The way he would sit back so chill and stare at me made me uncomfortable. I went so far as to tell the owners I wouldn’t work with him, that I would quit, but then Josephina told me to watch him when he wasn’t looking, he was that way with everything. She was right. The man should be a cop. Doesn’t miss a damn trick. Sees every
damn
thing.

Since that day four years ago, he has become one of my best friends, although I wouldn’t tell him that. I enjoy giving him shit. He does the same to me.

The problem he has is his dick apparently has an aversion to sane women and condoms. I tell him all the time that he’s gonna end up dead from a disease or from one of the bitches that drag him into court for a paternity test.

He tells me he’s Catholic and doesn’t believe in using protection. I tell him abstinence and no sex before marriage, those things are also in that Bible he picks and chooses from.

Religion, yuck!

I walk into the shop and Ricco is leaned back in the chair, feet on the desk, hands clasped behind his neck, looking much too relaxed. He looks up from the front desk and nods. “Afternoon, Kitty Kat.”

“Sure is,” I say as I walk past him to put my bags of wine I bought before heading to work in the employee fridge.

I set them on the table and grab some masking tape and a Sharpie from the junk drawer next to the fridge to label it.

I WILL CUT YOU IF YOU TOUCH MY SHIT! -KAT

“You just walked in and already you wanna cut someone,” he says from the doorway. He leans against it, crosses his arms and sighs. “You feeling okay?”

“Yes, I’m feeling okay. Why?” I huff as I push past him.

“Just seem a little tense even for you,” he says following me to the front.

I sit down and scroll through the computer to check out the schedule. He slaps a hand written one in front of me. “Here, should be smoother sailing today. I chewed their asses for taking in so many walk-ins last night.”

“And they listened?” I laugh.

“Yeah they did.” He points to the window. “I put the Help Wanted sign up.”

“We aren’t hiring more help,” I say spinning around in my chair nearly hitting him with my Chucks. “Marcus needs to bank money for legal fees because he can’t keep his hands to himself. Zack needs to pay for his gym membership and protein shakes. And you need to pay child support on,” I pause, “how many kids do you have now?”

“One definite, three still waiting on results,” he answers as if it’s no big damn deal.

“Four kids?! Jesus Christ!”

“Lord’s name, Kitty Kat.” He raises a judgmental eyebrow at me.

I roll my eyes. “You use every foul word out there but that and God—”

“Point taken, still don’t give a shit.” He turns around and walks away.

As his boots thud off the concrete floor I look down at the schedule. Ricco is leaving now but will be back at eight, an hour before weekday closing time.

He walks back out as I am going over inventory to see what supplies we need to order. “Why are you coming back?”

“Wine Wednesday, right?”

“Holy shit, you’re actually coming?” I laugh, I have asked him a million times and he always has an excuse.

“So are Marcus and Zack,” he says as he walks out the door. And now, it’s not so damn funny.

“Bullshit!” I yell at his back.

“It’s gonna happen.”

Aw fuck!

****

I left the shop and the boys with instructions to BYOB. I grabbed a couple pizzas and some wings. The only thing that will get me through tonight will be seeing my friends squirm when the three of them walk in.

My kind of entertainment.

I am sitting on the corner of the couch, legs crisscrossed, with a glass of Red Cat in my hand.

Stephanie and Macey are talking about their love lives. I listen intently as they talk about Macey’s dating woes and Stephanie’s wondering when her man will ask her to move in.

Stephanie is always all giggles and smiles. She’s five foot nothing, all preppy, with long curly blonde hair and big bright blue eyes. She is dating the same guy she dated in college. They have a cool relationship. He plays cards with his boys on Wednesday nights and she comes here and drinks wine with me.

I don’t typically like my friend’s boyfriends and they never like me, but in his case, I approve. Why? He doesn’t put up a fight about Wine Wednesdays. He even brings her and drops her off so she doesn’t have to drive. Two thumbs up from me.

Macey is that friend that is quiet until she’s shit faced, then she is hell on heels. Her short bobbed black hair and perfectly applied makeup gives her a rock chick feel.

Wine Wednesdays at my place are a hell of a lot safer to hang out with her. When we used to go out, it was a given she would pick a fight with the biggest guy in the bar. Took me a long time to figure out why…angry sex. Crazy bitch loved to get them going to the point they would end up in the bathroom, or alley taking their frustrations out on each other's bodies.

Steph loves wine, Macey tolerates it, says it’s for me.

I’ll take it.

We have my 90’s playlist cranking, Eve 6, Third Eye Blind, Everlast, some of my dad’s favorites and they’re talking about their pets as if they’re children.

“You need a dog.” Steph points at me, one eye drooping just a touch, a telltale sign she’s had a few too many sips.

“You’re out of your damn mind.” I point back mimicking her by squinting one eye.

She immediately points to her eye. “This already?”

“You’ve only had three glasses of wine for fuck’s sake.” Macey laughs.

“That’s almost her limit.” I smirk as I get off my comfy, leather couch and make my way to the island and open another bottle of Red Cat. “Almost.”

She holds out her glass giggling and Macey rolls her eyes and sighs. “Must you give her more?”

“Oh, put a cork in it,” Steph says and laughs.

“I’d rather put a dick in it.” She holds out her glass and rolls her eyes. “But it’s Wine Wednesday, yippee.”

“Shut up and drink, snatch,” I say filling her glass.

A knock at the door and I am stupidly excited about the guys meeting the girls. I purposely didn’t tell them.

“My co-workers are here,” I announce as I walk towards the door.

“Your co-workers?” They both ask at the same time.

“Yep.” And there’s the shock.

I don’t mix business with pleasure. Ever. My friends from work don’t meet my friends from home and vice-versa. We may all be a big dysfunctional family when we’re at work but home is home.

I open the door and see them standing there. They all look at me like I’ve grown an extra head.

Shit.

“Nice duds,” Ricco says pushing past me.

“Cute unicorn, Kat.” Marco points to my tank top.

Zack stands looking at me like he’s confused. “What?”

“You.” He scratches his head. “You look different. Less goth, more girl.”

“Shut up douche,” I say as I turn and walk back from the foyer to the living area.

I make sure to contain my laughter; this night couldn’t be any more perfect. I got the shock on both ends, and the awe is just as powerful.

Ricco and Marcus are looking around like they are in a far off land, and Steph and Macey are looking at them so uncomfortably that it can’t be helped. I laugh, I laugh so hard I snort and nearly snot.

I look over and I swear to God Steph has pulled her Coach bag closer to her.

“I’ll be back,” I say walking towards the bedroom. “Wine’s in the fridge, Jack’s on the counter, help yourselves.”

After relieving my full bladder, I wipe, wash, and walk out to the living area where the girls haven’t moved and the guys are in the kitchen. Ricco is sitting on the island, Marcus and Zack are standing next to each other whispering and chuckling.

“What is this a junior high dance?” I ask walking over and grabbing the bottle of Red Cat.

Ricco shoves his toothpick to the corner of his mouth. “Nice digs.”

“What’s wrong with my house?” I ask defensively.

“It’s,” Zack pauses and looks around, “girly.”

“Yeah, well news flash, I have tits and a pooter.” Steph giggles and Macey snickers. “Grab a drink and have a seat. Macey, Steph, this is Ricco, Zack, and Marcus.”

I grab the pizza out of the oven and try to set it on the island, but Ricco’s ass is in my way. I take the spatula and smack his jeans. “Didn’t your momma teach you any better? Down.”

He turns around raising his eyebrow high on his forehead. “Smack it again, you’ll get it back.”

It’s a dare, I swear my hand twitches. I want to smack it again, because I have never backed down from a dare, ever. But, it’s Ricco, and he would smack my ass back. The man may throw his dick in everything around, unsheathed, but he is a man of his word. An ass spanking without an orgasm would definitely make me a bigger bitch than I already am this week.

“Down.” I raise my eyebrow.

He slides off the counter and shakes his head while walking to the couch. I slice up the pizza and grab paper plates.

“Let me ask you ladies, how do you feel about being penetrated,” Zack asks.

“Pig,” Macey snaps.

“Oh my bad, I’m talking about ink. You know, a tattoo. I mean, damn Kat has a ton and neither of you do? What’s up with that?” Zack flops down on the sectional next to Macey and she glares at him. “Easy tiger, I’m not gonna hurt you, I just want to ink you.”

Macey looks over at me. “This the one with the needle, you were talking about?” She holds up her pinky.

“Hell no, she must have been talking about Marcus. Don’t have to take just my word, you can take a look,” he snaps his teeth, “it doesn’t bite.”

“You have a better chance with Kat than you do with me. You look like a walking, talking, virus. Hep C?” Macey asks Steph.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Steph whispers.

“Well you look like someone who needs—”

“Alright, you two.” I walk around the couch and Ricco is in my damn spot. I set the plates and pizza on the coffee table and sit on my knees on the opposite side of the sectional.

“Let’s play a game,” Steph says smiling. “We should all tell each other one thing about ourselves that no one here would suspect.”

“Sounds like a fun time,” Marcus smiles, “I bet Kat’s is that she lives in a house that looks too damn girlie and what the hell, Kat, you don’t dress like that at the shop.” He waves his hand up and down. “I mean shit.”