She wanted all of him and more. When he whispered in her ear, she came alive. She ached for the touch of his hand. She often found herself wanting to bury her nose in the enthralling smell of his skin. The feelings she harbored for him were like every emotion she had ever felt before. It was bigger than hip-hop. It was more satisfying then a seventy-five percent off sale at Nordstrom’s. It was like a spoonful of homemade soup on a cold winter’s afternoon.
Dylan even loved saying his name. The way it rolled off her tongue and floated into the air reminded her of heaven each and every time. But the feelings also scared her. Dylan never thought she would feel this way about someone so soon, but like the sun in the morning and the moon at night, she couldn’t escape him. His affection and attentiveness outweighed everything. He made her feel sweet, special, and good. He’d become her biggest supporter and fan. It was almost as if she were a spider caught in Angel’s web. She prayed to God that she’d stay entrapped there forever.
“Yes, Angel darling?” She leisurely walked down the stairs.
“Wassup wit’ all the boxes?”
“I bought a few things online.” She batted her eyes, hoping he’d fall for it.
“Yo’, that shit don’t faze me. On the real, ma, you need to slow down. Yo’ accountant already told you what the deal was on your finances, and the shit ain’t lookin’ too good. Remember you only had fifteen Gs left.”
“I know. I just wanted to look nice for you.” She pouted.
“That’s cool and all, but what, you’d rather be fly and homeless? And I ain’t stupid, Dylan. The last time I checked, Apple didn’t sell clothes.” He picked up the box.
“Umm . . .” She placed her finger up to her mouth. “See, what had happened was . . .”
“Yeah, save it.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” She kissed him on his cheek, neck, then mouth.
“Kissing me ain’t gon’ save yo’ ass.”
“I know what will.” She eased her way down.
“See, you think yo’ ass slick. I’ll tell you what; you better get all you can now, ’cause when I leave in two weeks for camp, we can’t be gettin’ down like we have been.”
“How about we scratch that no sex rule off the list?” Dylan unzipped his jeans.
“You know my trainer ain’t having that.” Angel inhaled deeply as she took him into her mouth.
After giving him the best blow job known to man, Dylan zipped his pants and got up.
“Where that come from?” Angel asked, feeling drained.
“Me.” She giggled.
“I know it came from you, smart ass, but damn.” He pretended to wipe sweat from his forehead. “That right there was on point. I needed that. Thank you.” He planted a kiss on her lips.
“You’re welcome.” She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and gargle.
“Oh yeah, whateva you got in those boxes better be something you can wear, ’cause I was just booked to present at the MTV Music Awards next week.”
“Shut up!” Dylan wiped her mouth with a paper towel after gargling.
She was almost sure Ashton and State would be there. This would be the perfect chance for her to redeem herself and look perfectly striking. Modeling her entire wardrobe in her head, Dylan immediately vetoed everything. She was determined not look like a charity case. She had to get something new. There was no way Ashton was going to one up her in the style department this time.
“Don’t go gettin’ yo’ G-string in a bunch, shawty. It’s just an awards show,” Angel teased.
“What-and-ever,” Dylan said, doing an impression of a Valley girl.
“I’m serious, though. Don’t go spend no more money on shit you don’t need,” Angel ordered.
“I won’t.”
“Swear.”
“I swear.” Dylan crossed her fingers behind her back.
“She rejects what I give while she nurse the wounds by them.”
Chapter 16
Backstage at the MTV Awards was on and poppin’. It was mixture of intense energy and pure, uncontrolled pandemonium. Dylan loved every second of it. Every which way she turned, there was a stagehand, agent, publicist, artist, or journalist.
Angel wasn’t at all intrigued by any of it. To him, this was just another day at the office. All he wanted was to present his category and go back to his seat and enjoy the rest of the show.
Dylan, on the other hand, was on cloud nine. She cherished being catered to and fawned over. She couldn’t get enough of people oohing and ahhing over her outfit. Opting for a sexier ensemble than she normally wore, Dylan rocked a black Kaufman Franco lace bustier, a leather mini skirt, fingerless gloves, and a pair of Swarovski crystal pumps with spikes lining the heel. The outfit cost her an entire month’s rent, but it screamed that she didn’t care that Ashton was only twenty-one and had married her ex.
“Excuse me, Mr. Carter,” the stage director said.
“Yes.”
“There’s been a slight change in programming. Instead of you presenting an award with Lady Gaga, we would like you to introduce R&B singer Ashton’s performance of her hit single ‘Sex Me Tender.’”
“I don’t know about that,” Angel protested in Dylan’s defense.
“It’s cool, baby. I don’t care.” She tried to play it off like it didn’t matter when it did.
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” she assured.
“A’ight, I’ll do it,” Angel said reluctantly.
“Great. You’ll be going on in ten minutes,” the stage director said before walking away.
“You know that you don’t have to put on a front with me.” Angel turned to her. “If you don’t feel comfortable with me introducing ol’ girl, I won’t.”
“Angel, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m stronger than you think I am.”
“Keep it up and a niggah gon’ fuck around and make you his wife.” He took her by the hand and held her close.
“Yeah, right. You don’t mean that.” Dylan looked down at her feet.
“What I tell you about that?” He lifted her head up. “I’m right here. Now, tell me why I shouldn’t speak the truth.”
“’Cause I’m unlovable. My mother never gave a damn about me, and well, you know what happened with State. Besides that, love makes fools out of women . . . especially me. Why are we talkin’ about love anyway?” She tried to change the subject. “We’re at the freakin’ MTV Music Awards. Taylor Swift is right over there.”
“I swear you are the most emotionally unstable woman I have ever met,” Angle joked.
“Look at Britney and Lindsay. Crazy is the new sexy.” She giggled.
“Straight up, all jokes aside. I care about you a lot, and I can’t even front no more. I love the fuck outta you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you too,” she said truthfully.
But before the moment could be relished, the annoying sound of someone yelling, “Move out the way! Clear a path! Ashton is leaving her dressing room and heading toward the stage!” It was Lisa, Ashton’s personal assistant.
“Showtime,” Dylan said to herself, turning around.
And there she was, Mrs. State, all five feet three inches of her. Even off screen Ashton seemed to be larger than life. She walked as if she had her own theme music. There wasn’t a fan within miles, but somehow her hair blew in the wind. Her makeup resembled a work of art painted by Picasso, and her body was nauseatingly sick. The chick had a body like a video vixen. Everything from her shiny hair to her perky breasts, petite hips, and round butt screamed
Boom, Boom, Pow!
The leather leotard, leather thigh-high boots, and whip enhanced her come hither look even more.
Bitch,
Dylan thought.
But all of that went out the window when she spotted the man she’d dreamed about and cried about kissing Ashton lovingly on the hand. Dylan had pictured the moment she would run into State over and over again in her mind. Unlike her reality, she saw herself standing tall and confident, but the moment her eyes met State’s, she felt small. Despite her to-die-for outfit, she felt naked. She couldn’t mask the fact that she still wondered if he missed her or thought about her at night.
Pretending that she hadn’t noticed him, she gave them both her back.
“Baby, I’ll be back. I gotta go over my lines,” Angel said.
“Okay, go ahead. I’ll be right here.” Dylan let go of his hand.
Dylan pulled out her cell phone and acted as if she’d received a text message. From across the room, State watched Dylan in awe. She’d always been a pretty girl, but there was always a li’l hint of tomboy in her style. But in the months they’d been apart, something had changed. She was sexier, edgier, and more confident. Her hips had spread and her ass . . . shit, State wanted to take a bite out of it.
“Ay, yo’, Dylan?” he said, approaching her.
A sly grin tried to appear on her face, but Dylan would never let him see. Instead, she acted like she hadn’t heard him.
“Dylan?” He placed his hand on her shoulder.
The fact that the simple touch of his hand caused a stir in the pit of her stomach disturbed her.
“Yes.” She looked over her shoulder.
“It’s me, State.”
“Oh, hi.” She turned and finally gave him full eye contact.
“It’s been a while.” His eyes traveled the dips and curves of her physique.
“Two and half months to be exact. How’s your wife?” she stated bluntly.
State stood quiet for a minute then he said, “No matter how many times I say it, I know you’ll never believe me, but I never meant to hurt you, Dylan. I wanted to tell you—”
“It’s cool. You have nothing to explain,” she said, trying to avoid his eyes.
“Yes, I do.”
“Nooooo you don’t,” she stressed.
“So, what you doing here? Who you here with?” He gazed around the room at the sea of people.
“My boyfriend.”
“Your boyfriend?” he repeated in disbelief.
“Yeah, I think you know him. Baby?” Dylan shot State a sinister grin as she called out for Angel.
“Wassup?” Angel came in behind her.
“I wanted to introduce to you someone. Angel, this is State. State, this is my boyfriend, Angel.”
“What up?” State said, in utter shock, pissed. Sure, he was the one who left Dylan alone, but that didn’t mean he wanted another man to have her.
“Honey, what are you doing?”Ashton whined.
“Uh, just catching up with an old friend. You remember Dylan, don’t you?”
“Mm-hmm.” Ashton shot Dylan a snide look. “How could I forget? C’mon, baby.” She tugged on his arm. “It’s time for me to take my place.”
“A’ight . . . Dylan.” He gave her a once-over glance.
“State.”
“I have to go too,” Angel said. “Be right here when I get back.”
“Where else would I be?” she said as he walked off.
Just as the lights were cued and the host announced Angel, Dylan took a quick glance to her right and caught State watching her every move. Mission accomplished.
Dylan had dreaded this day for weeks. Over the past two months, Angel had became her compass, her moral anchor, the one she leaned on. He’d brought her out of the dark and showed her what a good love was all about. She never wanted him to leave, but work overruled everything, including love. Broken down, Dylan sat on the edge of the bed with a box of tissues next to her.
She’d been crying since the night before. It was like someone was taking her favorite Chanel bag away, or Henri Bendel was going out of business. Dylan honestly didn’t think she could handle it.
It wasn’t helping either that each time she looked at him her pussy tingled.
It should be illegal for a man to be so fine,
she thought. He was dressed in all black, which she loved. He wore a black leather jacket, black hoodie, black jeans, and high top Lanvin sneakers.
“Baby, you gotta stop cryin’,” Angel said.
“But I can’t,” she wailed. “They won’t stop coming out.”
“We’ll only be apart for the first three weeks of my training. Remember, you’re going to fly out.”
“I know, but I’m gonna miss you so much.”
“I’m gonna miss you too.” He sat down beside her and pulled her onto his lap.
Dylan wrapped her arms around his neck. “But we won’t be able to sleep together every night anymore.”
“When we do, though, it’ll be even more special.” He kissed her.
“You’re right.”
“Now, help me finish packing.” Angel slapped her on the thigh.
An hour later, he and Dylan stood at the door saying their final good-byes before he went downstairs and got into his black Lincoln Town Car and headed to the airport.
“You know I love you like cooked food.”
Dylan covered her mouth and giggled. “You stupid. I love you too.” She brightened up and smiled.
“I’ma call you as soon as I land, okay?” He tried to set her mind at ease.
“Okay.” She nodded.
“Bye.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb.
“Bye.”
Dylan watched with sadness in her eyes as Angel boarded the elevator. Once the doors closed, she closed her eyes, wishing that the three weeks would go by fast. With nothing to do and no place in mind to go, she sat on the couch and flicked on the television. HSN always made her happy, but then she remembered that Angel would tear her a new one if she bought something else, so she turned it off. She thought about waking Fuck ’em Gurl up to play with her, but nixed the idea. Dylan didn’t feel like her licking and following her around everywhere. She even thought about telling Consuela to come into work on her day off, but knew she didn’t have the extra cash to pay her.
Fuck it, I’ll just go back to sleep,
she thought, getting up.
Halfway up the steps, the phone started to ring. Dylan never ran so fast in her life.
“Hey, baby. Miss me already?” she said sweetly.
“I been missin’ the hell outta you.”
“Who is this?” she shot, not recognizing the voice.
“State.”
“What the hell you want?” she spat aggravated by the sound of his voice.
“Come outside.”
“What?” She looked around the living room as if she could see him. “Please do not tell me you’re here.”
“I’m gettin’ ready to come up.” He opened the driver’s side door to his car.
“No, you’re not!”
“Why?” He stopped.
“’Cause I don’t want you here, and plus, Angel is here,” she lied.
“No, he’s not. I just saw him leave.”
Fuck,
she thought.
“Okay, psycho. What are you, some kinda stalker now? You better get yo’ retarded ass on somewhere,” she warned.
“Why you talkin’ to me like that?” State said, shocked by her reaction to him calling.
“’Cause I don’t want anything to do with you; that’s why.”
“But what if I told you I missed you and that I can’t stop thinking about you?”
“What if I told you to kiss my ass?”
“That’s fucked up,” State replied, actually hurt.
“Look, I’m in a really good relationship and I finally have someone in my life who wants to be with me, so I suggest you crawl back to the dungeon you came out of and feed your wife that load of crap you just tried throwin’ at me. Now, I would advise you to go home before I call security on yo’ ass!” she spat before hanging up.
“Now, you know damn well if Angel was here you wouldn’t be buying all of this shit.” Tee-Tee gave Dylan a disapproving look with his hand on his hip.
He and Dylan were at Saks Fifth Avenue, having a private showing of the latest and hottest fashions. Racks and shelves of clothing and shoes were there, all at their disposal. Dylan was like a kid in a candy store. She had Alexander Wang, Current /Elliot, and more to pick and choose from. They’d only been there twenty minutes, and Dylan had already racked up a bill of five thousand dollars on her credit card.
“What Angel doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and secondly, I’m not gonna keep any of this stuff,” she whispered. “I’ma keep the tags on it, wear it, and bring it back.” She grinned.
“You are such a hood rat.” Tee-Tee looked at her with disgust.