Maternal Instinct (21 page)

His mother was in the armchair, Connor's baby snoozing against her shoulder. For a second his heart softened, but he didn't let the process continue.

"Why, I've hardly seen you," she exclaimed. "Why don't you sit down for a few minutes?"

So she could grill him about a murder case he hadn't solved, one that meant far more to her than it should. Right.

"I have things to do at home." He held out a hand to Nell, who sat comfortably at one end of the couch with her bare feet tucked under her. "Lose your sandals?"

"Oh, they're somewhere." She looked vaguely around.

"We can hardly wait for the wedding." Natalie, John's wife, smiled up at him. "Nell says it'll be informal."

"I hate wearing a tux."

"But you'd be so-o handsome in one," Mariah teased.

His mouth crooked. "Nell, get me out of here."

She laughed and stood lithely, as elegant as a model in white slacks and a peach halter top that bared slim shoulders and the reminder of near-loss in the form of a compact white dressing on her upper arm.

"Okay. I'd better do some laundry tonight, if we're going to make it through the week." She smiled warmly at the women. "Mariah, what a wonderful dinner. Thank you all for having me, and for being so nice. Mrs. McLean, I appreciate your kindness."

Kindness. Not his mother's watchword.

But she returned Nell's smile and said, "I won't get up and wake the baby, but I look forward to the wedding and having you as a daughter-in-law. I've been very fortunate in the women my sons have chosen."

They all murmured thank
yous
. It was getting nauseatingly sappy, in Hugh's opinion. He hustled Nell out.

In the car, he said, "Well, that's my family."

"They're wonderful," Nell told him simply. "They were so nice."

He transferred his gaze to the rear-view mirror. "Were you bored, Kim?"

"No, the kids were nice, too." Pausing in the act of brushing her long, golden locks, she seemed to mean it. "
Zofie
is a kick. She was telling me
all
about school this year. I'm not sure if her teacher is lucky, or if I feel sorry for her. And
Maddie
and Evan take horseback riding lessons. That would be so cool! Mom, do you think…"

"You know I can't afford anything like that," Nell said repressively.

"But soon, maybe
we
can," Hugh suggested.

She gave him a startled look.

"Two incomes," he reminded her.

"Yes, but you don't need to spend your money on luxuries for
my
daughter…"

Was that pointed? he wondered. Don't step where you're not wanted, buddy?

"Maybe I want to," he said, voice carefully neutral. "Aren't we going to be a family?"

Her brow crinkled. "Yes, but…"

"Wow! Cool!" Kim exclaimed. "Maybe I could take lessons with
Maddie
."

Nell frowned at him. "We'll talk about it."

In front of Nell's house, Kim leaped out, gave him a glowing smile and said, "Thanks!" before slamming the door and bounding across the lawn.

Nell sat silent for a moment, looking straight ahead. "Are you trying to buy her?" she asked at last, with disquieting bluntness.

It was his turn to frown. "No. I was just pointing out that we'll be in a whole different income bracket with our two paychecks pooled."

Now she did look at him, eyes wide and troubled. "Are we going to pool them?"

"What were you envisioning? His and her bills and bank accounts?"

"I guess I hadn't gotten that far," she admitted. "The idea of handing over my paycheck and letting someone else pay the bills and dole out housekeeping money scares me."

Someone else.
Boy, did she have a way of warming his heart. Still, instinct told him this was a moment' for a demonstration of faith.

"How about if I hand over my paycheck and
you
pay the bills?" he suggested. "Hell, my checkbook never balances anyway, and I hate paying bills. I'd rather cook dinner or wash dishes."

Wide-eyed now, she stared. "Really?"

"Really."

"Oh." She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. Her fingers writhed. "Hugh, can we take this … slow? This marriage thing is pretty sudden."

"Yeah." He laid a hand over her restless fingers, quieting them instantly. "I'm sorry. Being pushy is my way. But I can be patient, too."

She gave him a nervous smile. "Okay. I'm not usually so … timid, but this just, uh, scares me. I may have a kid, but I've never been married."

"Me, either," he reminded her.

She studied him with what appeared to be genuine curiosity. "Are you just a good actor? Or are you taking this shotgun wedding better than I am?"

"Nobody is holding a gun to my head."

"I know, but…"

"We're getting married because you're pregnant. Yeah. Um…" He gave her question serious thought. "Maybe I am more optimistic than you are. My mother loved my father and never remarried after he was killed. And, except for John's first try, he and Connor seem to have hit the jackpot with their marriages. I figure, if they can do it, why not me?"

"But they didn't
have
to marry their wives," Nell argued.

"I didn't have to marry you, either," Hugh said quietly. "I want to."

Her expression was one of timid hope, and it wrenched his guts. It said nothing ever had worked for her, and she didn't expect it would this time, either, but some spark in her still yearned for the impossible. He wanted to give her whatever she craved as if it were the most glorious bouquet a man had ever gathered with his own hands. Unfortunately, happiness and security weren't plucked as easily as peonies and lilies.

"You're not what I used to think you were." As if bothered by the realization, she gazed at him with puckered brow.

"Most of us have layers beneath the obvious." His voice was a notch huskier than normal.

Her lashes fell, shielding her eyes. "I don't know if I do."

"Are you kidding?" He lifted her chin, loving the satiny feel of her skin. "I always knew you were a gutsy broad with a sharp tongue and a soft heart. I didn't know you were passionate, sometimes lonely, sometimes confused. I didn't know you had a kid at all, much less that you'd raised a daughter as nice as Kim. Or that instead of just existing off the job the way most of us do, you'd created a home like this one. I didn't know you'd ever smile at me."

"Have I ever?" she whispered.

"A few times." His own smile was wry. "Maybe it'll come more easily someday."

"Maybe." Her voice was just audible. Her pulse throbbed under his thumb.

"You look pretty today." He caressed her jaw, stroked the pad of one linger over her lips.

She swallowed. "Thank you."

"Are you wanting to call this wedding off?"

"I…" She sucked in a breath.

His heart damn near stopped as he waited.

"No." She gave a smile as twisted and complex as his. "Much to my surprise, no."

He bent his head before she could pull back and kissed her, a brief, thorough taste that sent his pulse skyrocketing.

She made a ragged sound and Hugh sat back. "You can pay the bills," he said. "But I should warn you, I have quite a bit put away."

Her eyes were dazed. "Quite a bit? Oh, you mean money." The puckers on her forehead gathered again, then smoothed. "We can argue about it later."

"Remember what the pastor said." This smile was quick and wicked. "Money is the first shoal we have to cross."

"Actually, I think the first is—" She screeched to a stop, heat blossoming on her cheeks.

Sex. That's what she was thinking.

"Can you find somewhere for Kim to stay after we get married? We should go away for a couple of days, at least."

Her gaze shied. "Isn't it too late to get reservations?"

"I made 'em at
Kalaloch
Lodge. Got us a couple of days off work, too." The old lodge clung to a cliff above the Pacific Ocean. The food was supposed to be superb, the sunsets incomparable and the sand dollars plentiful on glistening sands exposed by early morning tides. He'd been … presumptuous, to think she'd want to go with him. But he intended to have only one wedding night, and he didn't want it to be in her bed, down the hall from her daughter.

Roses still bloomed on her cheeks, but her eyes held a familiar glint. "You are pushy."

"I told you."

She caught her lower lip between her teeth. "I'm sure Kim can stay with a friend."

"Good," Hugh said with satisfaction. "I'd better go get some chores done."

"All right."

He felt her hesitation, but didn't know its cause. She managed to take him by surprise.

"Thank you, Hugh," she said in a soft, throaty voice, and kissed his cheek. Just a peck, but the first spontaneous move she'd made toward him.

Unless you counted the way she'd stood up to Captain Fisher last Monday, giving them a last chance to hunt a murderer who would otherwise walk.

Maybe that was her version of a bouquet.

Waiting nervously
in a small anteroom at the church, Nell plucked at her satin skirt. How in heck had this wedding gotten away from her? What had happened to the two of them standing up in front of the pastor with a handful of friends and family to serve as witnesses? And this dress…

Nell sighed and turned to face the unfamiliar woman she saw in the floor-length mirror. The dress wasn't white—she'd stuck to her guns on that, at least. Virginal white would be bad enough when she had a sixteen-year-old daughter, but considering she was pregnant, too, and everyone knew it, she'd just feel
wrong.
A dumb scruple, no doubt, but her own.

So, okay. The dress was ivory colored. It was also long, glorious and old-fashioned, sleeveless to suit the season, but with a boned bodice like a medieval gown. It had looked simple enough on the rack for her to be willing to try it on, at her mother's urging. At her mother's, heck! Mom and Kim had
conspired
to gussy her up like—like some blushing bride with a cadre of bridesmaids in pink taffeta.

Nell let out a more irritated breath this time. She'd never noticed before how much Kim was like her mother. Both blond and blue-eyed—well, she knew that. But also sweet-natured and emotional. Their eyes had misted identically when she stepped out of the dressing room in this gown. She'd been sunk.

So here she was, being summoned by the organ music, feeling like a—a circus pony. Half grumpy, half scared, Nell poked at the circlet of flowers around her hair, which atypically flowed loose down her back. Mom and Kim again.

Why couldn't she just have worn a nice dress or a suit? Hugh had refused to trick himself out in a tuxedo. She'd look ridiculous!

Her daughter popped her head in. "Mo-
om
! Everyone is waiting! What are you doing?"

"Feeling ridiculous," Nell muttered.

"You look so hot, he's going to want to rip—" the teenager clapped a hand to her mouth "—never mind. Just get out here!
Now."

"All right, all right."

She took a deep breath, picked up the bouquet of creamy roses Hugh had sent and followed Kim. Outside the small room, her friend from dispatch, Jen, waited.

"Thank heavens." Jen rolled her eyes upward. "I thought you'd chickened out."

Everyone turned when she, her daughter and her maid of honor appeared. The flutter of panic in Nell's breast became a beat of wings. She could bring down a bad guy without a flicker of nerves, but she was terrified of walking down the aisle in front of a huge audience.