“No,” she responded.
“Did you get on one knee?” Danny asked.
“Not exactly,” I replied.
Monroe started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Danny asked.
“Tell him.” Monroe said.
“I don’t know if he can handle it.”
“I can handle anything,” Danny pointed out.
“Okay,” I said. “Yesterday, in bed, I went down on Monroe and gave her an earth-shattering orgasm.”
“Wow,” Danny said, “maybe I can’t handle this.”
“It gets hotter,” Monroe announced.
“After I got her off, I leaned over into my dresser and got out a Tiffany box. She freaked out, crying with excitement, and opened it and told me how much she loved it without even looking at it. Of course, yesterday was April Fool’s Day, so instead of an engagement ring, the box had my high school ring in it.”
Danny started laughing. “You gave her your class ring in a Tiffany box? That’s a dick move.”
“Exactly,” Monroe agreed. “I told you it wasn’t funny.”
“Danny did just laugh,” I pointed out. “Anyway, once she realized it was a class ring, she got pissed. I told her to relax and that it was just a joke and she told me it wasn’t funny. I told her that it was in fact hilarious, and that all of our friends would think it’s funny. She told me not to tell a soul, let alone her friends, because they’d think I was a huge asshole.”
“That’s a distinct possibility,” Danny said.
“So, at this point, I’m trying to get her to go down on me, because the real ring, the diamond ring, is in my pussy.”
“Jesus,” Danny said, pretending to nearly crash into the curb.
I continued, “So the ring is down there, but she’s so pissed at me, she won’t go down there, so the joke is lasting way longer than I meant for it to last.”
“You put a Tiffany ring in your pussy?” Danny asked incredulously.
“Not really in it,” I responded. “More on top, resting on the clit. Actually, it was barely resting there and the weight of it made it keep sliding. So I kept putting it back on my clit. Monroe thought I was getting myself off while she was pouting about my prank, so she got even more pissed.”
Danny started cracking up.
“So, she tells me to knock it off. But I couldn’t, because the ring kept slipping out and I wanted it there to surprise her when she finally went down on me. However, she wasn’t getting over it really well. I kept having to put it back and she kept telling me she was upset and to just wait a minute and stop touching myself. At this point, Monroe’s practically crying and I’m absolutely giggling, which is pissing her off even more.”
Monroe moved up from behind our draft to finish the story. “So, I pulled back the covers, and see this jewelry and I immediately think it’s a clit ring, so I scream ‘What the fuck.’ Fortunately, Jenna took the ring out at that point and gave it to me.”
“That is the most fucked up and romantic engagement story I’ve ever heard,” Danny said admiringly.
“You haven’t heard the good part yet,” Monroe pointed out.
“There’s more?” Danny asked.
“A little bit,” I said. “Monroe didn’t like the ring I picked out, so she exchanged it. The pussy ring is back at Tiffany.”
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