Matt Christopher's Baseball Jokes and Riddles
Read Matt Christopher's Baseball Jokes and Riddles Online
Authors: Matt Christopher,Daniel Vasconcellos
Text copyright © 1996 by Matt Christopher Royalties, Inc.
Illustrations copyright © 1996 by Daniel Vasconcellos
All rights reserved.
Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group
237 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Visit our website at
www.HachetteBookGroup.com
First eBook Edition: December 2009
ISBN: 978-0-316-09494-8
To Michelle ElizaJbeth—M.C
To My wife, Joan, and
my daughter, Nora—D.V
Contents
Catcher:
You’re missing the strike zone by a mile! Better get your eyes checked.
Pitcher:
Whenever I pitch against the Twins, I see double!
Catcher:
You look a little nervous out there today.
Pitcher:
Whenever I pitch against the Cubs, I just can’t
bear
it!
Catcher:
You seem to be lacking confidence today.
Pitcher:
Whenever I pitch against the Giants, I always feel kind of small!
What is the best country for an official scorekeeper to live in?
The United
Stats!
In what state do most umpires live?
In New York, the Umpire State!
First Baseman:
Why did the pitcher throw a baseball across the table?
Second Baseman:
The manager told him to put one over the plate!
In what ballpark are players most nimble and quick?
Candlestick Park!
What is the best day of the week to play a doubleheader?
Twos-day!
What does an umpire do before he eats?
Brushes off the plate!
Why are babies good at fielding ground balls?
They’re good at little dribblers!
Why is a sold-out ballpark a good place to go on a hot day?
Because there’s a fan in every seat!
Why is it good to have frogs in the outfield?
They never miss a fly!
California Angels infielder Aurelio Rodriguez was in for a surprise when he saw his 1969 Topps baseball card. When the photographer
from Topps visited spring training camp, he mistook the Angels batboy for Rodriguez—and took
his
picture instead! So all of Rodriguez’s Topps cards that season featured a picture of the batboy!