Maybe Never (Maybe #2) (21 page)

“I think so. I assume he’s in his bedroom. He’s still too weak to do much walking by myself.”

Killian brushes past me, and I follow after him.
 

“What is it?” I ask again.
 

But he doesn’t answer. He just keeps walking. He opens the door to the kitchen where Paige is still cleaning. She smiles at us, but it falters when she sees the look of anguish on my face at not knowing what the hell is happening.
 

“Is your grandfather’s room this way?” Killian asks, pointing down the hallway toward his bedroom.
 

“Yes. You’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
 

He ignores me and runs down the hallway to Granddad’s bedroom door. He pushes it open without knocking and then runs inside. I follow, but when I walk inside the room, I find Granddad is gone. I take a step back, not expecting him to be gone. I turn slowly to face Killian, making sure to look him in the eyes.
 

“They arrested him, didn’t they? He’s in prison.”
 

I find my legs are growing weak, and I have to sit down on the bed. I didn’t expect the news that my grandfather is in jail for crimes he committed to hit me so hard, but it does. It just goes to show that I still love my grandfather, despite everything. I still love my family. It just makes me feel weak and makes me hate myself even more.
 

Killian runs his hand through his hair. “No, he’s not in custody.”
 

“Then, where is he?”
 

His eyes slowly and reluctantly meet mine. “He fled the country.”
 

“How can you be sure?”
 

His lips tighten together. He’s not going to tell me.
 

I close my eyes, hating the pain that comes with loving someone who lies to me and keeps things from me, but that has been my whole life.
 

“The FBI wants me to bring you in.”
 

I open my eyes. “What? Why?”

“Because they think you helped get him out of the country, and if they have you in custody, they think that it will compel your grandfather to return to the country.”
 

My eyes widen when I realize Killian is going to have to choose between the FBI and me. His pained expression tells me everything. That the decision is painful instead of being simple.
 

His work as an FBI agent means something to him. It means as much as a relationship with me, but he can’t have both, and I hate that I have to make him choose. If he chooses the FBI, I will spend my life hating him and missing him. If he chooses me, he will spend his life resenting me for making him give up his career. There is no good choice; there is no right choice. That’s what I have learned; there is only the best choice among bad choices. It makes me never want to have to choose anything at all.
 

“What are you going to do?” My eyes meet his, and I see his need for me reflected in his eyes. But I also get a glimpse of his loyalty to the FBI.
 

“I don’t know.”
 

I fall back on the bed, closing my eyes. I just want to curl up in bed and go to sleep. Sleep until this is all over. Until I know for sure if Killian and I can be together. This ache, this pain at constantly being pulled together and then ripped apart, is slowly killing me. I wish I could find a way to let go of the love I feel for him. I wish I could just find a normal man who knows nothing about my family, so I could love freely without consequence. I don’t get to choose who my heart falls for though.
 

I open my eyes and watch Killian pace back and forth in the room, like he always does when he’s anxious. I shake my head. I’m not going to let him make this decision. I’m going to figure out where my grandfather is and get him to turn himself in. That’s the only way Killian and I can be together—if I help the FBI.
 

I abruptly stand up. “Take me to the Felton Grand.”

“Why?”
 

“If Granddad fled the country, he would have had to stop at the casino. There is a safe where my family keeps things, like passports. Maybe he left a clue as to where he went. And, if I can find him, maybe I can convince him to turn himself in.”
 

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Yes, I do.” I walk past Killian. “Let’s go.”

We stand in an alleyway, just outside Kinsley’s family’s casino.

“No fucking way. You are staying here,” I say.
 

“I’m going. You don’t even know what you are looking for. I need to go.”
 

“You are staying here. If I have to handcuff you to that pipe to keep you here, I will. You are not going inside. It’s not safe. I will not have you arrested. Not again. Not until we figure out a plan.”
 

She pouts at me, but I’m not giving in. I agree that her grandfather might have stopped here first before leaving, and if we can find him before the FBI, then we can possibly convince him to turn himself in and plead guilty, putting an end to all of this.

“Stay here. Promise me.”

She looks down and then back up. I catch her gaze with my eyes.
 

“I’ll stay. I promise.”
 

I blow out the breath I was holding. I’m not sure I believe her, but I’m going to have to. I don’t have another choice. I’ll just have to be quick so that she isn’t tempted to follow me.
 

I grab her face and plunge my tongue into her mouth. I know she is worried that I love my job more than her. That I can’t give it up. She has every right to worry, but she needs to know that it doesn’t change how I feel about her. I love her, and the only way I can show her right now is with a kiss. So, I try to tell her everything with the kiss.

I try to pull away, but she bites my lip, holding me in place, making me want to stay, but I can’t stay. I have to protect her, and the only way is to put an end to this.
 

I gently pull away. “I’ll be right back.”
 

Her lips pull into a tight smile, and then I walk away from her and into the casino. I look straight ahead as I walk. I don’t look any employee in the eyes. I don’t scan the crowd to see if there are other FBI agents here. I just look forward, hoping that no one will notice I’m here. Although, if the FBI decides to pull the security camera tapes to see if Lee came back here first, they will know that I was here as well even if no one spots me.
 

I walk until I get to Robert’s office, and then I pull the key Kinsley gave me out of my pocket. I unlock the door, and I push my way inside. And then I stand, frozen, looking at the mess of an office. It looks like someone was rummaging in here, searching for something. Papers are scattered on the ground. Frames are shattered on the floor. I walk over to the desk, but I am surprised to see that none of the drawers are open, making me throw out the theory that someone was searching for something in here.
 

I bend down and pick up one of the papers off the floor. It’s one of the papers I gave Kinsley. That’s when I realize what this is. Kinsley did this. Her grief did this. I pick up the pile of papers that have the evidence that I shouldn’t have even shown Kinsley on them, and I put them into the shredder. I walk back to the desk and pick up a picture of Kinsley and her father when she was probably six or seven years old. She’s sitting on his shoulders, and they look happy. They loved each other, and now, thanks to a lie, that love is broken. Just like my lies have prevented her from trusting me, her father’s lies have prevented her from loving his memory.
 

I inspect the rest of the office, but I don’t think her grandfather came in here. I walk out the door, careful to lock it behind me.
 

“Looking for Kinsley?” Tony says as he walks out of his own office.

“Yes,” I lie.
 

“She moved to an office down the hall. I haven’t seen her yet today, but she is usually in within the hour. You can wait for her there.”
 

“Which room is her office?”

“The last one on the left, down that hallway,” Tony says, pointing down the hallway.
 

“Thanks, Tony. I figured you would have been mad at me for what I did,” I say.

“I am, but I still think you and Kinsley belong together. And I still think you are a good person even if you are working for the other side.”
 

I nod and begin walking down the hallway toward her office. Kinsley didn’t mention that she had moved into her own office. I guess she didn’t think her grandfather would go to her office. I don’t think he would have either, but I will check it out under the guise of looking for Kinsley. And, before I leave, I will have to check downstairs to see if anyone in the lobby saw him coming in.

I walk to the last door on the left and test the doorknob. The door is unlocked. I push the door open and step inside. That’s when I realize why Kinsley didn’t bother locking it. There is nothing here but a desk and a cord that connects to a laptop that isn’t here. Next to it is a scribbled note and an envelope.
 

I pick up the note and read the shaky handwriting.

To Kinsley,
 

I’m sorry, but I had to leave. I’ve gone to make things right. I couldn’t put you through a trial where the FBI would bring out false evidence against me and use it to send me to jail for the rest of my life. I couldn’t put you through that.
 

I know this is a lot for you to understand. I know that you don’t understand why your father or I did the things that we did, but in time, I hope you understand.
 

I’ve left the company to you with no strings attached. I won’t be coming back to claim any right to it. It’s yours to do with as you wish although my only wish is that it stays in the family.
 

I’ll contact you when things are safe, and we can talk.
 

I love you, sweetheart.
 

~Granddad
 

The envelope is also addressed to her, and I go to open it when I hear a knock on the door. I put both into my jacket pocket and turn to see who is at the door.
 

“Killian, I wasn’t expecting to see you here. I thought you were going to look at Kinsley’s house. Any sign of her yet?” Agent Liddell asks.
 

“No. I tried her house and then here. I was thinking of trying her friend Scarlett’s house next.”
 

He nods. “Good thinking. I have a team in place here that is searching for evidence and will be on the lookout for her.”
 

I walk past him. “I checked this room. There is nothing here.”

“Do you need backup to go with you to bring in the girl?”
 

I smile. “No. She trusts me. I will have better luck if I go alone.”
 

“Be careful. These people are dangerous.”
 

I nod. “And we are sure she didn’t travel with her grandfather out of the country?”
 

“The video surveillance of the airport just showed her grandfather, so that’s all we have to go by for now.”

I walk past him without saying another word.
 

“Agent Byrne”—I stop walking as he walks to me—“Make sure you bring her in. Your standing with the FBI depends on it.”
 

I glare at him, and then I walk away. I know where her grandfather went. I think I had known before we came here, but now, I’m positive, and I know, even if we found him, there is no way to convince him to come back to the US.
 

I walk through the busy lobby floor but stop when I hear a deep voice that stands out in the crowd. It’s the same voice I heard in Mexico. I turn to try to catch the man’s face that matches the voice, but he’s gone, and I have to keep walking. I have to protect Kinsley.
 

I only have two choices. As my heart races faster while I get closer to Kinsley, I realize it’s really not a choice at all. I can either turn her over to the FBI and deal with the fact that Kinsley could end up in jail again or…

I turn the corner and find Kinsley still standing where I left her in the alleyway. She has her cell phone in her hand, and she is mindlessly scrolling through it. She stops when she sees me. I run to her.
 

“We are leaving the country. Right now.”

I nod. “You found out where my grandfather is?”
 

“No. But it’s not safe here.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not leaving with you. Not until you start telling me what’s going on.”
 

He frowns. “I will tell you, but I can’t tell you here. When we get somewhere safe, I will tell you.”
 

We both hear a loud popping noise, which makes me jump. Killian jumps in front of me and pulls a gun out from his waistband that I didn’t even know he had. He’s pointing the gun at the alleyway, but I’m no longer concerned with whatever the noise is.
 

“You have a gun.”
 

He scans the area one more time, and then a slow grin forms on his face as he puts the gun back into the waist of his pants. “I’m an FBI agent. FBI agents have guns.”
 

I nod slowly, but he pulled it out, which means, for whatever reason, he really doesn’t think we are safe.
 

“We need to go.”
 

I open my mouth to answer but then bite my lip.
 

“Trust me,” he says.
 

I don’t trust him. I know at least half of the words coming out of his mouth are lies. The problem is, if I want to find out what the truth is, I’m going to have to trust him—at least temporarily.
 

“Okay.”
 

He grabs my arm, and then without another word, we are moving, not running but more than simple walking. We are moving through the strip of Las Vegas to the parking garage where his rental car is. He doesn’t look at me. He doesn’t speak. His eyes are intensely focused on the task at hand.