Mayne Attraction: In The Spotlight (47 page)

I looked over my shoulder and feigned
concern, though it was rooted in realism.

“I need help,” I said in a low tone. “I’m
trying to run away from my boyfriend and I want to ride with you
out of here.”

He was instantly concerned, taking me very
seriously.

“Why don’t you just call hotel security, or
the police?”

“No,” I shook my head and then added, “let
me show you something.”

Opening my wallet, which I had ready, I
pulled out a brown business card. Pointing to the name printed in
gold I explained, “That’s my dad. If you can get me to your branch,
he can get me out of here. I’ll catch the first jump seat back to
Louisville, where I live. Please.”

Hoyt would like it that I’d called him my
dad.

He did some quick deciding and then eyeing
the UPS label on the top of my box asked, “Is that going too?”

“Yes.”

He took it from my hands, nodding big in an
exaggerated movement.

“Okay. We’re on camera here. You’ll need to
step out the front of the hotel and walk down the entranceway. Turn
right on the main street and I’ll pull up from behind. You can jump
in the passenger side and then we’ll be on our way.”

He seemed excited. I definitely was. This
was going to work. I could feel it.

“Okay. I’ll see you outside. I’ll be the one
in the blue cap,” I said.

He headed off to his truck with my parcel
and I went back inside to the business center. I thanked the clerk
and walked back across the lobby stepping inside the Ladies’ Room.
Securing the handicapped stall door, I quickly switched into the
brown tee shirt I wore constantly, the lame one, pushing the old
one back in my pack. Then I tucked my hair under my blue Kahurangi
cap, placed my pack inside the large gift shop bag and proceeded
through the lobby and out the front entrance.

In a calm but quick pace I made my way out
of the parking lot and down the drive until I had reached the main
drag. Turning to the right I started walking on the sidewalk, away
from town. I’d made it about a half a block when I heard the sound
of a truck engine in the distance behind me. I didn’t turn around
or slow down—I just moved closer to the curb continuing onward
until it pulled up beside me.

As I walked down the sidewalk, it felt
absolutely surreal, this notion that here I was taking a stroll
down a beautiful flower lined avenue on a pleasant sunny morning in
a town overshadowed by a huge and majestic finger of the Rocky
Mountains, knowing that in a second or two I’d be hopping on a UPS
truck as a getaway vehicle.

There was a steady flow traffic going by,
but I heard the deep engine sound of a large, diesel powered
vehicle downshifting as it slowed behind me.

At exactly that moment someone grabbed my
hand and swung me around.

“What are you doing?”

Ash’s eyes were dark, angry almost.

“Taking a walk?”

It came out like a question. I glanced
fleetingly over his shoulder to confirm the approach of my brown
transport, now rolling more slowly, unsure of the maneuver now that
I had been approached by a third party, who had not been
anticipated by either of us.

Why did I think I could get away with
this?

“Are you running away?” he demanded, not
letting go of my hand. The anger I thought I was seeing became more
clearly evident as pain, only tinged with anger.

“No. I’m just walking…”

Away. He’s not stupid—he’s not going to buy
it.

I tried to sound innocent, but I was busted,
and we both knew it. The UPS truck reached me now, pulling to stop
as Ash looked over at it, confused. I glanced at the driver and
flicked my eyes and chin forward, as if to indicate ‘leave now, but
come back in a minute.’ He seemed to get it and drove off.

“What’s going on? Were you planning on
hitching a ride with the UPS guy? Is that why you were talking to
him before?”

Oh, of course he caught that. Why did I
think this would work?

“What are you talking about?” I asked,
digging deep for as much dumbfounded uncertainty as I could
channel. After all, faking stupidity shouldn’t be too hard for
me.

He just looked at me, those piercing eyes
cutting through all my nonsense.

“Ellery, would you really try to leave
without telling me?”

He was hurt. His warm thumbs were rubbing
tiny soft circles into the top of my hand that was still in
captivity.

Yes. I’m just that ridiculous—especially for
thinking I could get away with it. The truth then. Just give him
the truth.

“I just need some space and a little time,
okay? Please don’t take that away from me. Just let me take my walk
before somebody sees you. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. What I need
most right now is for you to trust me.”

He let go of my hand.

“What are you doing? I don’t understand,” he
pressed.

I knew you wouldn’t, that’s why I planned on
asking for forgiveness as opposed to permission.

“I’m walking away from Gray. And the less
you know the better,” I said, looking back toward the hotel.

Taking a deep breath, I held it, and then
started again.

“I’m going away for awhile, but when I come
back, you’re the one I’ll be looking for, so don’t be too hard to
find, okay?”

I turned around like that was it, and
started walking again. That wasn’t it, though. He grabbed my wrist
again, tighter this time.

“Ellery, no! Please Love, just listen to me.
If you want to get away then let me take you. I can help you. I’ll
hide you better than you can hide yourself. I’ll keep you safe, and
we’ll be together.”

It was the most desperate and out of control
state I had ever witnessed in Ash. It was also the most direct and
nearly impossible to decline plea he’d ever made. It almost broke
my resolve. It sounded like a great plan—way better than mine. I
could feel my body starting to slide into him as I fought with
myself. After all it was exactly what I wanted…right?

“I’ll marry you, if that’s what you want,”
he offered, then sensing my reservation he continued, “or not. I’ll
still take you anywhere you want to go. Please. Please Ellery. I’m
begging you. Just please don’t leave like this. Please don’t leave
without me.”

His eyes were red around the edges, and wet
looking. They held my own eyes in a beam that I couldn’t escape.
Through an act of sheer will I closed my eyes and experienced
immediate release. I opened them up again but kept them carefully
downcast and out of locking range.

It was perfectly sunny but a huge drop fell
from the sky at my feet, where I was now looking. And then
another.

Ash’s fingers were on my face, wiping my
tears.

Tears? I reached up as well, and sure
enough, my eyes were draining in torrents.

I laughed, feeling embarrassed. I had
promised myself I wasn’t going to cry. That was what yesterday had
been for—to get it all out of my system.

“Was it my shirt?” I asked, diverting myself
and him, hopefully.

“What?”

He was confused.

“My shirt. My old brown UPS shirt. Did you
recognize my shirt?” I asked.

“Yes, but I was expecting something to
happen when you went to the Ladies’ Room given your history with
quick changeovers there.”

I took a chance and looked at him. He
smiled, but it was sad and tentative, not humorous, but not
piercing, either.

“Darn it.” I sniffed and laughed in quick
succession. “I knew I shouldn’t have given that part away.”

I wiped my eyes with the front edge of my
tee shirt. Clarity returned, along with my sense of purpose. This
was going to work out. I was going to do this the right way. I was
not going to give in to temptation. I was going to be strong. I was
ready now. But it already hurt. I took a big breath and spoke in a
rush.

“You have to let me do this. It’s not about
turning my back on you, Ash. I just need to prove some things to
myself, to test myself. If you’re there making it easy, doing
everything for me, I won’t get the answers I really need. I have to
prove I can make it on my own for a while. I have to see what it’s
like to make my own decisions with no safety net to bounce into. I
just…I need to grow up.”

I paused to gather courage for the hard part
that was coming up next. He was scanning my face, searching for the
chink in my resolve. Or maybe he was agreeing with me. There was no
way to tell. I pressed on.

“Monica, and Gray….and the team, and…even
you…all of you make too many decisions for me that I should be
making for myself. I don’t want to be a puppet any more. And I
don’t want you to marry one—you deserve better than that. I have to
learn how to pull my own strings. Starting now,” I said, imploring
him with my eyes.

He dropped my hand again. With my fingers
free I slipped the aquamarine off and handed it to him. He sucked
in a quiet breath, no doubt in surprise at this unexpected, totally
callous move. I noticed his free hand immediately moved to cover
his wrist, perhaps in defensive anticipation of some kind of
mandatory accessory exchange on my part.

“I need you to have this reset…if you ever
want to use it again…on me or somebody else,” I explained.

His eyes looked through me and far away,
maybe to the future, maybe to the past, but he wasn’t there with me
anymore.

It was selfish and wrong, but I moved in and
hugged him as tight as I could. He didn’t hug me back. Then I
reached up and pulled his face down close to mine, staring into his
eyes until he came back from where ever he’d been. Peering deep
into my eyes, his possessed a look of loss and deep sorrow that
seemed to change their very color, making them darker than I’d ever
seen them before.

I decided I needed something I could refer
back to, something that would make this terrible moment slightly
sweet, and bearable, since I knew my mind would keep coming back to
it, without my permission. So I kissed him, not hard, just
passionately, with as much emotion and need and love as I could
transfer, feeling his warm skin on my hands where I held him just
behind his ears where his neck and hairline met. I pushed my
fingers in, just slightly, feeling his soft hair as it brushed in
between and over my fingertips. I felt, and smelled, and tasted,
and listened to him, but I didn’t look. I just imagined happiness
instead. I knew I wouldn’t want to remember the look on his face at
this moment. I would just imagine his look when we did this
again…when I was coming and not going…whenever that would be. Then
I moved my lips to his ear.

“I love you, Ash. Only you. Never doubt it.
But…you, uh…you don’t have to wait for me, if you don’t want to.
I’ll understand.”

I could barely get that last part out.

“Yes, I do, Ellery. Take what time you
need—and don’t feel bad about it. I’ll be waiting for you,
patiently. Waiting for my woman to come back to me…I promise you,”
he said, and he put the ring in his pocket.

I couldn’t stand to look in his eyes. I
turned quickly, free now, and started walking again. A little
faster than before, halfway hoping to be grabbed again, but
relieved more and more as it appeared he truly was honoring me by
honoring my request.

After a minute I heard that low engine sound
coming up from behind. I turned around and Ash was gone.

Amazing!

Up pulled the truck, stopping for me this
time, and then I was on my way.

“How many more stops do you have, Doug?” I
asked as I put on my seatbelt.

I had seen his UPS identification on the
dash.

“Just a few. Is everything all right? You
can hide out in the back if you want,” he suggested, no doubt in
response to the delay we’d experienced on his first approach.

“It’s fine. That was somebody I met when we
were hiking this week. He just happened to see me and wanted to say
hello.”

I tried to be cool about it, instead of
flipped out. I don’t think I succeeded, but he was polite anyway
and didn’t press it.

“Do you have another hat? I could pretend to
be a ride-with, like a new hire or something,” I asked after a
moment of silent appraisal on his part while we waited at a traffic
light.

He smiled big as he took in my change of
apparel.

“You’ve really thought this through.”

He reached into a compartment in the dash
and pulled out hat and a clipboard, all without looking.

“Now you’re official,” he pronounced.

It felt that way.

We made six more stops. They were quick and
took us further away from Banff until we were finished and on our
way back to Calgary. After a number of miles had rolled by in
companionable silence heading east on the Trans Canada Highway, he
asked, “So what kind of idiot is this boyfriend of yours, chasing a
girl like you away?”

It was a logical question, but it stung me
anyway. I’d been working hard to think about what was ahead, and
not what was behind me now.

“Oh, he’s very smart—just a little too
controlling. I know he loves me, but I also know that I can’t live
in chains…even if they’re gold. He’s got some pretty heavy
connections so I had to find a way to travel off the grid. Thank
you, I really appreciate this.”

I was staring out the windshield while I
spoke, imagining Gray and Dan and everyone else scrambling in a
panic over me…right now. And imagining Ash pretending to do that.
It nearly derailed me, but I was thankful he’d caught me the way he
did. Telling him not to doubt me would have been less convincing by
some electronic mode of communication, especially with the
separation I was planning for us. I wondered about the fallout,
though. I hoped no one would get fired. Probably they wouldn’t.
Gray would need them to track me down, once they realized I didn’t
end up in Louisville, and that my folks didn’t actually know my
whereabouts either. It would be a very bad time to recruit a new
team, especially one that didn’t know me at all.