That she could find so much pleasure in the kisses and touches of a man was altogether new but not unpleasant. Was it possible to actually desire intimacy with a man?
The truth was, she loved him utterly and completely. He was like no other man she’d ever known—sensitive, kind, noble, and sacrificial.
“Annalisa!” A distant, desperate call penetrated their moment of closeness.
He broke the kiss.
Her breath came hard and mingled with his. She didn’t want to pull away from him yet. From the desire flaming in his eyes, she could see that he didn’t want to let go of her either.
“Annalisa!” It was Vater, and he was sprinting down the path toward them. His face was as dirty with soot and ashes as theirs. But much to her surprise, tears streaked his cheeks and sobs wracked his body.
Gratefulness rose inside her and she broke away from Carl. She stumbled toward Vater. “Danke, Gott . . .”
Vater opened his arms to her, and she rushed into them.
“My daughter, you’re not hurt! Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.”
She wrapped her arms around him and let him embrace her for the first time she could remember.
“I was so worried,” he said against her hair.
Her body shook with sobs that mixed with his. She wasn’t sure if she was crying more from relief or from the knowledge that Vater cared about her more than she’d realized. Even if she was just a girl, only a daughter, he’d still been concerned about her safety.
He finally pulled back and drew in a shaky breath. His hair was gray with ashes and stuck up in disarray. His shirt was drenched with sweat. His eyes were bloodshot, his hands blistered. He’d obviously worked just as hard to survive the fire as they had.
“Is Eleanor all right too?” she asked.
“Yes. She and Dirk are both unharmed. But how did you survive?”
Relieved to hear that Eleanor was safe, she wiped her hand across her cheeks to dry the tears. She then glanced over her shoulder to where Carl stood. “Carl saved us.”
Carl had picked up Gretchen, and the girl had her arms wrapped around his neck with her head resting on his shoulder, as if that were the most natural place in the world for her to be.
At the sight of Carl, Vater took a step back and his face grew tight.
She wanted to reach out to Vater and hold on to the new connection she’d made with him. For the first time in her life he’d opened up and shown the depth of his feelings. She wanted to cling to that and make it last.
But his eyes narrowed on Carl, and the muscles in his face twitched.
“If not for him, we’d be dead,” she offered quickly. “He helped us into the well and kept us safe the whole time.”
Vater didn’t say anything for a long moment. Finally he looked Carl in the eyes. “Thank you for saving my daughter and her children. I’m grateful to you.”
Carl nodded. “I only did what any man would have.”
Vater started toward him, a battle waging across his features. His eyes revealed a touch of gratefulness, though his face was still hardened from the years of mistrusting any nobleman.
“I thank you from the bottom of my heart,” Vater repeated. “But it doesn’t change who you are.”
A heavy weight settled in her stomach. “Carl’s a good man, Vater. Bitte, give him a chance—”
“I see what you’ve done,” Vater continued. “By paying off her loan, you thought to win back her affection.”
Paying off the loan?
What was Vater saying?
Her mind raced with a hundred questions. “How? When—?”
“I’m sorry, Annalisa,” Carl said. “I didn’t have time to tell you. But the farm is yours now. No more worries about losing it—”
“But I signed the land over to Ward.”
“You did
what
?” Vater shouted.
“I didn’t have a choice,” she rushed to explain. “He trapped me in the barn. He had a gun. And he was threatening Sophie—”
“Don’t worry.” Carl glanced toward the road to Forestville, and his eyes flashed with anger. “You own the land free and clear. Everyone in town knows I went to the bank first thing this morning. Even if the money doesn’t arrive for a few more days, Ward won’t be able to get away with this. I’ll make sure of it.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Vater said stiffly. “While we appreciate your help today, Annalisa doesn’t need it anymore. We’re here. We’ll help her now.”
“I’m not running away again, Peter. I’m here to stay. As long as Annalisa will have me.”
“She won’t.” Vater held out his hand to Annalisa. “She’s an obedient daughter. She’ll do as I tell her. Just like she’s always done.”
“She’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions.”
Annalisa’s gaze ricocheted between Vater and Carl.
“Come now.” Vater waggled his fingers at her, and his eyes beseeched her.
Carl stood with his feet apart, Gretchen in his arms, determination etched in his face.
How could she choose between them? Especially now, after Vater had embraced her? How could she go against his wishes when she knew how deeply he cared about her?
And yet how could she walk away from Carl?
“I love Annalisa.” Carl’s declaration rang out over the barren land, wafting through the smoke and the ashes. “And I will love her for the rest of my life.”
“You may have saved her life today, but that doesn’t change all that happened in the past,” Vater said. “Go home where you belong.”
Carl clutched Gretchen tighter. “No. I want to make a new life for myself here in America first. And I want to begin my new life with Annalisa by my side—as my wife.” He turned then to face her, and the earnestness of his love reached out to her.
He wanted to marry her. Truly. Not out of obligation but because he wanted to stay, of his own free will.
A thrill fanned the embers of all the hope in her heart. She could see the promise in his eyes—the offer of the deepest kind of love a man could give a woman.
As much as she honored Vater, how could she turn away from Carl again?
“Come, Annalisa,” Vater commanded.
Carl’s dark eyes watched her with longing. But he didn’t motion to her or pressure her. Did he want her to come to him freely, the same way she’d wanted him?
“Bitte. Don’t make me choose,” she pleaded, reaching a hand to Vater. “Can’t we live together in peace?”
Sadness churned in his eyes. “You know what his father did to Erik,” Vater said. “You know the pain he’s caused us. It’s unforgivable.”
She couldn’t take on Vater’s pain. She had already forgiven Carl. That was enough for her.
“Besides,” Vater added, “I have given my word to Dirk that he could wed you.”
A new determination filled her. She’d already told Vater she wouldn’t marry Dirk. She realized now he wouldn’t understand—and maybe never would. But she would pray that someday he would come to accept it.
“Dirk will find another woman.” She turned her back on Vater and faced Carl. “But I will never find another man I love as much as I love Carl.”
She crossed the barren ground to him and held out her hand.
Carl nodded hesitantly, as if to ask if she was certain she wanted to be with him, even against Vater’s wishes.
She glanced over her shoulder at Vater. Could she really disappoint him?
A scream like that of an injured animal came from the wasteland where the forest had once been. A shiver raced up Annalisa’s backbone. Like the others, she turned to discover the source of the anguished cry.
A charred form emerged from among the blackened stumps and smoking ashes. The form moved toward them but then soon collapsed to the ground into a sprawl of arms and legs.
“Uri?” She broke free of Carl and started forward.
At the sound of her voice, the boy lifted his head.
His face was burned and bleeding, with open blisters over his cheeks and forehead. His clothes were partially burned from his body, revealing more raw and blistered skin.
Annalisa cried out and fell to her knees, retching.
In an instant Carl was at her side, holding her, burying her face against his chest. He held her and the children close, preventing them from looking at the boy again.
“Shhh,” he murmured.
Annalisa’s breath came in heaving gulps.
Vater’s wails rose into the air and mingled with Uri’s tortured calls of agony.
A sob welled deep within her and she fought against Carl. “We must help him. . . .”
But he held her tighter. “No, Annalisa. I’ll help him. You stay here with Gretchen and Sophie.”
At last she stopped struggling and sagged against Carl. The image of Uri’s burned body had been seared into her mind. But Carl was right—she should stay with the children and protect them from that image.
“Take Uri to the barn!” Carl shouted to her father. “We can treat his wounds there.”
Her father hurried over and scooped the boy into his arms. Uri screamed and then immediately lost consciousness. But instead of heading to the barn, Vater stumbled down the path, away from them. He carried Uri like a baby, his shoulders heaving with sobs.
“Stop, Peter,” Carl shouted. “Please. Let us help.”
But when Vater made no move to stop, Carl let him go, frustration creasing his forehead.
With each step Vater took, Annalisa’s body tightened with
anguish at the thought of not only Uri’s pain but the heartache she’d caused Vater. For the first time in her life, she’d felt his love. And for the first time in her life, she’d defied him.
Had she done the right thing?
A soft whimper caught her attention and brought her and Gretchen’s heads around.
Gretchen gasped. “Snowdrop?”
Crouched in the barnyard, his tail between his legs, Snowdrop whimpered again.
Gretchen jumped up, and excitement danced to life on her face. “Snowdrop!”
The dog stared at them blindly, then lifted his nose to the air and sniffed as if making sure he was safe before limping toward Gretchen.
She raced to the dog, fell to her knees and threw her arms around him. “Oh, Snowdrop, Snowdrop . . .” She stroked him, tears running down her cheeks and falling onto the dog’s singed fur.
Snowdrop licked her cheeks and gave a happy yip.
Annalisa swiped away the tears on her cheek and smiled. Even if the smoke had blinded the dog and the heat had damaged his paws, she was grateful Gretchen didn’t have to experience another loss.
Carl’s hand found hers, and their fingers intertwined.
Sophie gave a sleepy gurgle. Carl bent to the sling and kissed the baby’s forehead gently. When he lifted his face, he was only a breath away from Annalisa. His eyes locked with hers.
“I meant what I said to your father. I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”
His whispered declaration was like something from the pages of a fairy tale, and it melted her heart.
“And I love your daughters like they’re my own.” His gaze
flickered to Sophie again. “I’d be honored and privileged if you’d give me the chance to be their father. I want to marry you. Desperately. But I don’t want you to have to choose between me and your family.”
She didn’t know what the future would bring. She didn’t know where she would live or how she would survive the coming winter now that almost everything she owned had been destroyed. And although she could pray that her family would eventually come to forgive and accept Carl, she had no guarantees.
But one thing was certain. She loved Carl. And she didn’t want to go another day without him by her side. Together they could forge a new life.
She lifted her fingers to his cheek and then closed the distance between them. Boldly she let her lips touch his, first lightly, then stronger with all the affection for him that filled her.
When he responded—meeting her, embracing her—she knew he understood her answer.
And also her gratefulness for helping renew her belief in true love.
Chapter
23
S
PRING
, 1882
F
ORESTVILLE
, M
ICHIGAN
“Mama, Mama!” Gretchen burst through the door of their new home with Snowdrop trailing behind.
Annalisa glanced up from the hearth and the oven-like contraption Carl had made for drying clothes. Over the winter, in all his tinkering he’d created a means for blowing hot air from the fire onto the clothes while they tumbled around a cylinder. The method, while unconventional, had been especially helpful during the long months, when line-drying clothes outside in the frigid temperatures became impractical.
“Mama.” Gretchen stopped short, and her long braids bounced against her shoulders. A wide grin brightened her face. “You must go to the barn.”
At the spark of mystery in the girl’s tone, Annalisa asked, “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” Gretchen’s smile turned secretive. “You just need to go to the barn.”
Annalisa straightened and put a hand to her aching back. She supposed it was about time to do the barn chores anyway.
“I’ll stay here and watch Sophie,” Gretchen offered. She went across the one-room house that neighbors and friends from the area had helped rebuild with lumber provided by a Detroit relief organization.
Sophie, at nine months old, was sitting in the middle of the bedstead, banging a spoon against a tin cup and giggling at the noise she was making. Gretchen crawled up on the bed and began playing with the baby.
Annalisa gave a tired sigh and glanced out the open door to the drizzle that had cast shadows all day. Spring had fortunately come early and had brought all the rain they’d missed the previous summer. Amidst the dead, charred ruins, the land was coming back to life with a bright green that took away some of the pain and destruction the fire had left in its wake.
The land had survived. And so had they. The winter had been one of the worst yet, and if Clara Barton’s Red Cross hadn’t stepped in to help provide clothes and food, they may have had to move. As it was, they’d received blankets, knives, spoons, forks, cups, plates, chairs, and a fair supply of clothing—the first ever from a store rather than the handmade clothes they’d always worn.