Authors: Cassandra P. Lewis
“That. Bitch.
Will. Not. Tear. My. Life. Apart. Jackson!” I take a breath, “Listen to me very carefully… She is gone! I never want to hear a whisper of her name, ever again or I’m gone, for good. Do you understand me?” I glare at Jackson and he looks at me, confused,
“You’re not leaving me?” he asks hopefully,
“Do you understand me?” I repeat through gritted teeth,
“Yes,
I promise. Thank y…”
“I’m not done. If you ever lie to me again,
I’m gone. And the next time you get scared and feel like shagging someone else, you come to me and I’ll remind you what you’re throwing away” I take a deep breath and Jackson stays quiet, unsure whether it’s his turn to respond or not, “And I’m sorry too”
A
s the last word leaves my mouth Jackson pulls me onto his lap and into his arms lifting my face to his with his hand. Our foreheads touching, his eyes closed he opens his mouth to speak, but there are no words, instead he just kisses me, a gentle kiss filled with love and relief.
I wake the next morning in the same position that I fell to sleep in, my head and left hand on Jacksons fully clothed chest. Last night, after a few bites of toast and separate showers, Jackson and I both put on t-shirts and boxer shorts before climbing into bed, exhausted.
Neither of us wanting to put any strain on the tentative threads by whi
ch our relationship was hanging, we were both content to have the security blanket of clothes and a silent embrace, allowing the day’s events to sink in and get filed in each of our minds. When I felt my eyelids becoming heavier, Jackson was twisting my engagement ring around on my finger. I remember wondering if he was trying to screw it on to make sure it never comes off, or if he was just surprised it was still there after the last couple of days.
Jackson’s hand strokes my hair and I wrap my arm
tightly around him, I want to move forward, I just hope we can. I’m meeting Pip this morning for a work out so I reluctantly push myself up out of bed and Jackson stops me by taking hold of my wrist,
“I love you Rosie, don’t ever forget that” I turn to face him and he looks at me with fear in his eyes, he still thinks
I’m going to leave. I lean back down and kiss him, I’m going nowhere.
“Happy Birthday Jackson.
“You’re not serious?” Pippa is in shock as I fill her in on yesterday’s events while we warm up on the treadmill, “Oh my god Rosie, why didn’t you call me?” She looks at me with concern in her eyes,
“Because you were seeing Ben
and he was only down for one day. Besides, there’s nothing you could have done” I shrug and try to convince Pip that I’m fine,
“I could have beat Jackson up for being a dick, and then beat Sasha up for being a psycho!”
I know that she is joking because she smiles, but I also know that she would have taken great pleasure in doing both of those things. “Have you told Rafe?” she asks, and the concerned voice is back,
“No, and neither can you.
Jackson and I have a lot to work out and that will just complicate it” I glare sideways so that she knows I’m serious. I’m ready to end the conversation so increase the speed. I’m ready to run and Pip understands that I’m done talking…for now!
After the work out we hit the steam room and I know I
can’t escape any longer, the questions are going to come my way and Pip knows me too well for me to brush her off with generic answers. She wants the truth, and she’ll get it.
“What now then Rosie?” she asks as soon as we sit down,
“What do you mean what now?” I know what she’s asking but I need to stall her while I think,
“Rosetta, I know you! D
o you really think you can just move on from this? I mean you can’t really blame Jackson for Thailand, even though he should have told you straight away! But yesterday Rosie… he went to Sasha of his own accord, that’s not cool Ro”
“He fucked up Pip, but he
stopped himself before he did anything really stupid and I have to take that into account. This is all new to him and we all know how he behaves when he gets scared!” I feel angry at Pip and protective of Jackson, even though I know she is right. He did go to Sasha, “I know what he did was wrong Pip, but I can’t throw us away. So we’re going to put it and her behind us and move forward, he won’t get any more chances”
“Ok
Rosie, if you really think you can do that…but you know where I am” Pip is resigning herself to supporting me even though she doesn’t agree, I can hear it in her voice,
“Pip, I love him, and it means the world to me that you
two get on so well, so please don’t let that change now. We all make mistakes” I am pleading; I don’t want the people I love to turn against Jackson. It was bad enough having them hate Michael, but my feelings for him were nothing like they are for Jackson, he’s like oxygen to me.
“Give me a couple of days Rosie. I
am angry at him, really angry. Just give me a couple of days” I smile, I know Pip better than anyone and know that what she’s just said means that she wants to keep her friendship with Jackson too, we’ll all be ok.
After the gym I head back to my flat. Despite it being Jackson’s thirtieth today, he has work to do and I have some ideas for a new book that I want to get down while they’re fresh. I had planned to cook a nice meal and have a romantic evening in, but the thought of that now makes me really uncomfortable. I just don’t feel in the mood for romance but we have to celebrate in some way, so I call Rafe,
“Brother of mine, what are your plans this evening?” I ask, trying to sound as upbeat as possible,
“Nothing really Sis, we were just going to chill. Aren’t you and Jackson having a candlelit dinner or something? How is the birthday boy feeling anyway? Old git!”
“OI, Watch it Alvez!” I hear Matthew ch
astise Rafe in the background. He turns thirty in a couple of months and is a bit sensitive about it, Rafe laughs as I respond,
“He’s fine, he’s working. Look I was thinking we c
ould all get together instead. Food, a few drinks, you could bring the Wii over?” I’m almost begging and I worry that Rafe can sense that I’m hiding something,
“Yeah, sounds good baby sis, what time?”
I feel relieved, “Seven Thirty-ish? I’ll ask Pip too”
“Great, see you later then” Rafe hangs up and
I release the breath that I feel I’ve been holding for an hour. I’ve avoided a romantic evening in; I just hope Jackson doesn’t mind.
I decide to cook a big pot of chilli and rice, it’s always a winner and everyone can just help themselves. When I called Jackson to tell him about tonight’s change of plan he sounded as relieved as me that it wouldn’t just be the two of us. He asked if I’d told Rafe what had happened, obviously worried about a confrontation, I hadn’t of course but I told him that Pippa knew, he said he was aware of that already as she’d called him to tell him what a prick he’d been and wish him happy birthday. We both laughed and it definitely relieved some of the tension we’d both been feeling.
When
Jackson walked into my flat at just after four, I didn’t even hear the door. I only realised that he was here when I turned around during my big Prince number, hairbrush microphone in hand to see him leaning on the doorframe of my bedroom watching me,
“Oh my god” I jumped out of my skin at the site of him “How long have you been there?”
“Since the chorus, I had no idea you could, erm, gyrate so well!” he laughs and I feel a little embarrassed,
“You know exactly how well I gyrate Mr James!” I throw my brush at him and he catches it laughing, I turn the music down and turn to look him in the eyes, “Happy Birthday”
“Thank you Rosie, can I have a kiss?” he seems sheepish, like he isn’t sure if I’ll say no, but I don’t. Instead I can’t wait to wrap my arms around his neck and start this process of moving on.
Jackson relaxes as I kiss him deeply and before long the hands resting firmly on my sides are pushed down over my backside, lifting the
t-shirt that I’m wearing to reveal the black lace French knickers underneath. The feel of lace against my skin never fails to get Jackson going and his eagerness for me is evident as he holds me hard against him.
“I was so scared
I’d lose you Rosie” he breathes into my neck between kisses,
“
Shush Jackson, I’m here to stay” I don’t want to think about the past weekend ever again, I just want Jackson to do what he does so well.
In an instant he picks me up and I wrap my
legs tight around his waist. I can feel his arousal as he presses against me increasing my own. He carries me to the bed, kissing me the entire time, not stopping even as he lays me down and comes to rest on top of me.
Jackson stops kissing me and stands to remove
his jumper, I sit up eagerly and undo his chinos as he reaches to pull my underwear quickly down and off. I am hungry for him, I need him to erase the bad memories with great ones, and it can’t come soon enough for either of us.
There’s
no time or need for foreplay, we need each other more than we ever have. Jackson climbs back onto the bed kneeling between my welcoming thighs and without hesitation he leans down to kiss me and pushes into me. He hasn't removed his trousers and I can feel the zip rubbing against my inner thighs, the sensation is strangely arousing as I open my legs wider to accommodate Jackson’s entry. It’s tight without any foreplay but delicious as he slowly makes his way inside inch by inch, sliding his hand down my left side and underneath to support my backside as he withdraws and pushes back again, a little easier this time and with each thrust the pace quickens and sensations increase.
“I love you Rosie” Jackson breaths into my ear as he buries his head into my neck
while he plunges deep inside me and out again, I’m lost in the sensations pulsating through my body and the love that I feel for the man giving them to me,
“
I love you, please Jackson quicker, harder” I am breathless, I need to feel his release inside me, I need to feel my own.
Jackson obliges and pushes himself up onto his arms, thrusting hard as I dig my fingers i
nto the cheeks of his backside. I need him deeper and I try to pull him in as far as I can. The way he says my name through gritted teeth lets me know that he’s close and I nod my instruction for him to come when he needs to. I’m close and as he starts to pound harder into me I can’t stop the waves of pleasure rushing over me.
My legs stiffen and Jackson
groans as I tighten around him and then he thrusts, hard and fast before stilling deep inside me and collapsing down on top of me. We both breathe deeply for a moment, enjoying the aftershocks of our orgasms before Jackson looks me in the eyes with a shy smile and kisses me deeply.
“You drive me crazy baby, in all the right
and wrong ways!”
I giggle girlishly as he pushes up and out of me before heading to the bathroom, I call after him,
“I’m surprised you can still get it up at your age!” a shocked Jackson puts his head around the door and
his face changes to a look that means business. He flushes the toilet and when he heads back into the bedroom I can see that he is becoming hard again, “Ah I can see you like a challenge Mr James?”
“You have no idea Miss Alvez”
When I wake to the sound of the doorbell I jump up in a panic, after
Jackson decided he wanted to prove just how well he could still get it up I must have dozed off. I hear Rafe singing happy birthday as I put the light on and quickly run into the bathroom. I realise that Jackson is already up and had left me to sleep, part of me is annoyed but the other part knows that he is aware how tired I have been and will have it all under control.
I pull my hair into a bun on top of my head and have the quickest shower in the history of the world before throwing on some jeans and a vest and heading out to greet my guests.
The evening is a blast.
Pip greets Jackson with a tight hug when she arrives and I thank her for making the effort, she insists she only came so that she can yet again beat Rafe at bowling and immediately picks up the Wii control from the table.
As Jackson and I put out the food and watch our family having such a great time, we know we’ll be ok. We have something great, somet
hing that’s worth fighting for and we’re both too stubborn to lose it.
“Come on then James,
Let’s see what you’re made of” I crick my neck and roll my shoulders as though I’m getting ready for a fight and take the controller from Rafe, “Boxing or Table Tennis?”
It’s been five weeks since Jackson’s birthday and things are great between us. We really have moved forward and I’ve surprised myself at how relaxed I’ve been. For the first time ever I can genuinely say that I do trust Jackson, I know he’s not going anywhere, we’ve been through too much.
Apart from when we’ve
been working or at the gym we’ve been together and it’s been great. We were in love before but we didn’t know each other that well, I know now that Jackson has a guilty pleasure for McFly and he knows that I love to have my feet tickled. He’s learned that my toast has to be buttered and served hot and I know that he played rugby at school and could have played professionally, but chose writing instead.