Me & My Invisible Guy (25 page)

Finally Darby spoke up. “Miss Rea. My sister and I need to talk about this. Is there a place we can call you?”

The woman whipped out a card. “My cell number is on
there. Could you let me know either way sometime today?” She left, and the three of us just stood there looking at one another.

“Well, I guess you two need to talk. I’ll call you later.” Liam squeezed my hand and left. I followed Darby back into the house.

“So what do you want to do?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “Things are hard enough at school.”

Darby stared at the card, biting her lip. “I don’t know, Mal. I kind of think we should do it.”

“We?”

“Yes. We.”

I dropped my bag by the stairs and followed Darby to the living room. “You’re not serious, are you?’

Darby kept staring at the card and nodding. “Yes, I’m very serious.”

I wasn’t interested in doing any of it, but Darby seemed more determined than she had ever been. Eventually, I gave in. Darby handled calling back Christi and setting up the interview, and she was the one who told Mom and Dad what we were doing.

To say Mom was livid was an understatement. She slammed around the kitchen as if mere noise could reverse the trajectory of our lives.

“Why would you do that Darby?”
Slam!
“I can’t even imagine what you think you’ll get out of it.”
Slam!

I had never seen Mom so frantic. Even after Darby’s suicide attempt, she was hyperfocused on not disturbing the atmosphere in any way, so slamming cabinets wasn’t
an option. But the idea that Darby would tell her story on television had unleashed something in my mother that was slightly terrifying.

Darby, on the other hand, was the picture of serenity. It was like watching two people you thought you knew reveal themselves to be the exact opposite.

Darby sat on a stool, a countertop separating them. “It’s not what I’ll
get
. It’s about giving something. I didn’t know until just yesterday that my fiasco kept Mallory from having sex. Think about it. It could keep other girls from doing what I did. From making my mistakes.”

“Other girls are not your responsibility! It’s no one’s business. No one needs to hear about this.” Mom moved to the counter and switched to a pleading tone. “Darling, please. Think about this. You can just move on, forget all of that ever happened. Why dredge it up?” Mom was close to tears.

“Because it
did
happen. And this amazing opportunity could help others. God can take something that nearly destroyed me and turn it into something good.”

Pleading Mom switched into Angry Mom. “God? That’s why you’re doing this?”

“Yes. For the first time in so long, I feel like I can see things clearly. I think this is what I’m supposed to do.”

“You need to think for yourself. That church isn’t going to pay the price—you are.” Mom started throwing dishes into the dishwasher, making it rattle.

“I am paying the price, every day. That’s why I don’t want anyone to go through what I’ve been through. There’s another way.”

“And what about the rest of us? You’re going to drag us all through the mud!”

“I’m not dragging anyone through the mud. They were my mistakes. Not yours.”

Mom grew very still, her face turned away.

A long minute later, Dad cleared his throat, making us all turn.

He didn’t say anything, but he slowly walked toward Mom and wrapped his arms around her. In one swift second she melted into him, pressing her face into his shoulder. Darby got up and put her arm around my shoulder.

“I’m so scared.” Mom’s muffled words came from Dad’s shoulder, but then she looked up at Darby, the tears falling freely. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

Darby rushed to her, dragging me along, and joined in the hug. “You’re not going to lose me, Mom. I promise. It won’t ever happen again.”

We held one another for a long time. I hadn’t said a word, but I felt as if more had been accomplished in that one conversation than in all the conversations in the past year.

The news crew—well, Christi Rea and a cameraman and some guy with a bunch of lights—arrived at our house and set up everything in our living room. It wasn’t live. They were taping it and would edit it with the rest of the program.

I was scared spitless. Literally. I couldn’t make myself swallow, much less produce sound. I sat like a statue in the corner trying to calm down as they checked and rechecked everything.

Dad had put his foot down with Mom and insisted that we support Darby if this was what she wanted. Yet another family shift. He was with Mom in the kitchen, but I knew
he’d disappear once the taping started. He didn’t have the stomach, thank goodness, to sit around and watch us discuss sex with a bunch of strangers. Actually, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be speaking at all.

Darby looked calm and cool. She had already talked it out with Brian at lunch, and things had gone really well. I watched the camera guy clip a tiny microphone to Darby. She was amazing, and looked as if she had done this a hundred times before.

I slipped out onto the back porch and called Tess.

She was there within five minutes.

They were packed up and gone by eight. I seriously couldn’t remember a thing I’d said. Tess and I went up to my room after it was all over.

“Was I a blathering idiot?” I asked her for the tenth time.

“No!” Tess flopped onto my bed. “But you didn’t say much. You kept staring at the camera like it might grow teeth and eat you.” Tess laughed, and I threw a pillow at her head.

“So I
looked
like an idiot? That’s so much better.”

“Trust me, no one but me would know. You did fine. Darby, though, was awesome. She’s my new hero. I cannot believe she said all of that. Out loud.”

“I know.”

“You never answered the reporter’s question,” Tess said. “About it being kind of hard to have sex with someone who doesn’t exist? She’s right, you know. Everyone’s going to wonder what you’ll do now that you’ve got a real guy.”

“It’s nobody’s business what I decide to do.”

Tess laughed out loud. “Like that even matters.”

“I mean, at least for me, nothing has changed at all. I still don’t want to take the risk.”

“Well, I don’t think Liam will be pressuring you. You two are cute together. Makes me want to ralph.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m just saying you’d better be careful. I mean, you’re going crazy public with your chastity. Everyone will be watching.”

Which made
me
want to ralph.

CHAPTER 20

And, boy, was Tess right. The newscast wasn’t going to air until Friday night, but every day of school was more torture. On Thursday they announced the nominations for homecoming queen, and even though it was only for seniors, someone thought it would be funny to make a fancy sash and write
THE VIRGIN QUEEN
on it and hang it on my locker. On Friday I found a list of suggested male candidates for getting rid of my title. Even less funny than the sash.

My salvation was Liam and Tess. I always had someone to walk with in the hallways and to eat lunch with. It was enough to keep me afloat. Otherwise I might have hid in my room permanently.

None of it made any sense to me, though.

When I told that to Tess, she said, “It’s high school, Mal. It’s not supposed to be logical.”

“Yeah, but who cares. Why does it even matter?”

Tess pointed a stalk of celery at me. “It’s because of who you are. You defy the system.”

“But I’m not the only one.” I shoved my food away, crossed my arms, and pouted. I felt as if I was entitled to a good pout.

Tess put the celery down and brushed her hands together. “Okay, here’s my theory. Sex is one of those things that everyone thinks everyone else is doing. Whether they’ve
done it or not, they feel like they ought to be knowledgeable about it and at least pretend they know what they’re talking about. The only people who get all ‘Be pure’ are the religious nuts—no offense, Liam—and since you’re not one of them, Mallory, and you still don’t want to have sex, well, you make no sense. You’re an unknown category, and in the jungles of high school, my friend, that puts a death target on your back.” Tess shrugged and took a bite of her salad.

“You think I’m a religious nut?” Liam asked.

Tess rolled her eyes. “Duh.”

Liam screwed up his mouth and put his chin in his hand. “And here I was trying so hard not to be a nutcase.”

“You can’t help who you are,” Tess said. “As for you, ride it out. People will forget all about it by the time we’re seniors. Probably.”

I groaned, and Liam took my hand in his. It felt warm and nice and made me almost forget everything that was happening.

For a total of two seconds. Then a group of skaters came by and suggested I come hang out with them in the parking lot to get a real education.

Tess yelled “Losers” at their backs, but I was too tired. Too tired to be strong or brave or anything at all.

I just wanted it to be over.

I couldn’t watch the broadcast even if I had wanted to—which I didn’t. Tess picked me up for the home game that night. Besides being freaked about the show, I was completely bummed about going to a game and not wearing my uniform. Tess seemed to think it was no big deal and
that Tara would relent, so she kept chattering about the fund-raiser. I really tried to listen. The broadcast was set to air on the six-o’clock news. The game started at seven, so people would have the chance to see it before the game started.