“Don’t apologize. That makes perfect sense.”
He shrugged and took a seat beside her.
Marienne was shocked that he had mentioned his mother. He almost never spoke about her. She sensed it was because it was too painful for him but, since he had been the one to mention her, she decided to ask him something she’d always wondered.
“How old were you?” she asked.
“When she died?”
She nodded.
“Sixteen.”
“I’m sorry, Daniel. That must have been so hard. I mean I was twenty-five and married when my dad died, and I know how awful that was. I can’t even imagine.” She reached out and touched his hand. His fingers closed around hers.
****
The compassion in her expression impacted Daniel as much as the warmth of her hand. He never discussed this subject with anyone, yet with Marienne he knew she understood. He could see it in her face, feel it in her touch. It was comforting to him in a way he couldn’t quite explain. They stared at one another in silence, then Daniel smiled.
“A baby,” he said.
“Yeah.” A mix of happiness and fear blended in her expression.
“That’s absolutely amazing.”
“And terrifying,” she said. “I’m too scared to even think about all the things that could go wrong. I’m not telling anyone, at all, until I get past thirteen weeks.”
“Why’s that?”
“Most miscarriages occur in that time, so I’m not saying anything to anyone until I’m past that point.”
“And when will that be?”
“In about six weeks.”
“Wow.”
That’s a long time for her to keep a secret.
“But wait, you just told me.”
“Yes.” She held his gaze. “You’re an exception. The only exception.”
“Why me?”
She shrugged. “I hadn’t planned on telling you, but you looked so concerned, and, I don’t know, it seemed right.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to.…”
“Don’t be sorry. Honestly, it was kind of nice to know that you cared enough to be worried.”
“Of course I care enough. I’ve gotten kind of attached to you, you know. Not to mention the unnatural obsession I have with your baking.”
She giggled.
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious,” he said. “It won’t be so funny when you have to set up an intervention some day. Brownies anonymous.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous. There’s no such thing as too many brownies, and even if there were I’d be the last person qualified to set up an intervention.”
“Your recent aversion to food might make you a little qualified.”
“True. But this is a temporary situation.”
“Hey, if you’re nauseated all the time, why are you still baking?” He pointed to the container of cookies on the counter. “Don’t the smells bother you?”
“Surprisingly, no. The one scent that seems to settle my stomach is vanilla. Plus, baking calms me down. I’ve been really nervous.”
“Nervous?”
“Well, yeah,” she said. “Honestly, I tend to overreact to medical issues too, because of my dad. When I first started feeling sick I got scared, then I found out I was pregnant and I was relieved for like two minutes before I started worrying about all the pregnancy stuff. Plus not being able to tell anyone, not wanting to jinx anything. It’s been nerve wracking. It feels better having you know.”
“Well I’m glad you told me. Honored, really. I suppose you don’t want me telling anyone else.” He didn’t mention Justine’s name, but Marienne knew what he was asking.
“I can’t ask you to keep something this big from Justine.”
“You’re not asking me to do anything. I’m telling you, you have my word, I will not tell your news to anyone. This is something you get to share with people when you decide you’re ready.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to.…”
“This isn’t about me. You tell people when you want to, and don’t worry about it. At all.”
“Oh.” Her face scrunched up.
“Sick again?” he asked.
“Mmmhhhnn.” She leaped up and ran for the bathroom.
She slammed the door shut and turned the water on full blast, but he could still hear her retching. He felt bad and wished he could do something. As he glanced out the door, he remembered the broken glass and decided he could at least take care of that.
He grabbed a broom and an empty cardboard box from the garage, then stepped out onto the deck and proceeded to sweep the bits of glass into the box. He was putting the broom away when Marienne emerged from the bathroom.
“You okay?” He knew she wasn’t.
She nodded. “What are you doing?”
“I swept up the glass. I didn’t know what you’d want to do with it. I didn’t want to put it into your trash or recycling then have you or Frank reach in and get cut.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Can I do anything else for you?” he asked. She looked so frail.
“No, I think I’m going to go take a nap.”
“Good idea. I’ll get going so you can rest.”
She looked like she could barely keep her eyes open.
They walked toward the door.
He was still amazed. “A baby.”
She let out a breathy laugh.
“I’m so happy for you.” He wanted to hug her but was scared to touch her, afraid she might break. As if she read his thoughts, she put her arms up and wrapped them around him. The relief of knowing she wasn’t sick washed over him as he held her. He breathed in her sweet vanilla scent and chuckled to himself. The one scent she found soothing was the one she seemed to naturally exude.
“Thanks, Daniel.” She kissed him on the cheek before she lowered herself and pulled away.
“Get some rest. And call me if you need anything. Anything.”
“I will.”
****
A baby.
He couldn’t stop repeating the words.
Marienne is having a baby.
He was relieved. He’d been worried that something was seriously wrong. The fact that she not only wasn’t sick, but also was having a child instead, thrilled him.
What must that be like? To know you’ve created a new life.
He imagined it must be wonderful. And scary.
So much to think about.
Marienne sounded happy, but her comments about Frank made it seem like he was less excited. Frank was a lot like Justine; he liked to be in control of what was going on, so it was probably the surprise of the news that had him unsettled.
Frank’s a lucky guy.
Keeping this from Justine was going to be interesting. He was bursting to tell someone, but he was honored that Marienne had trusted him with such an important secret. Now that he knew, he was surprised he hadn’t figured it out on his own. Tired, nauseated, sick for weeks; surely most people would at least suspect pregnancy. Maybe Justine would figure it out herself. If not, he’d just wait until Marienne was ready to share her news.
A baby.
He smiled.
Maybe when Justine finds out she’ll consider having one too.
****
“You told Daniel?” Frank sounded exasperated.
“I had to.” Marienne’s head was pounding. She felt like she could fall to sleep standing up, but she wanted to finish folding the laundry before she went to bed.
“What do you mean you had to? He forced it out of you?”
“No, of course not. He was afraid I was dying or something. I couldn’t let him think that.”
“Okay, whatever. At least now we can tell people.”
“What?” She dropped a shirt back into the laundry basket. “No, we can’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I don’t want to tell people yet. Nothing has changed.”
“So you’re saying Daniel’s not going to tell Justine?”
“He said he wouldn’t.”
“Did you ask him not to?”
“No, I didn’t have to. He said it was my news to tell.”
Frank puffed out his cheeks and blew out a big breath. “Well, I still say if you told him then we should be able to tell other people.”
She wanted the arguing to stop. “If you really want to, you can tell your mother, but that’s it. Please don’t tell anyone else yet.”
Frank seemed happy with that concession. “Okay, I’ll call her tonight.”
“Please tell her we’re not telling people yet. She’ll understand.”
“I’ll let you tell her that part. I don’t understand it well enough to explain it to anyone else.”
****
“She wants to talk to you.” Frank handed the phone to Marienne.
“Hi.” Marienne leaned against the fridge to hold herself up.
“Oh sweetheart, I’m so happy for you. This is the best news I’ve ever heard.” Ruth sounded so excited Marienne felt bad she’d waited to tell her.
“Thanks.”
“How are you feeling? Are you tired? Are you sick a lot?”
“Constantly.”
“Oh you poor thing. I know. That’s how I was with my first pregnancy. It wasn’t as bad with the other two.”
“That’s encouraging.”
“Don’t worry, sweetie, it’ll pass. So, what can I do for you? What do you need? Do you want me to bring you some meals till you’re feeling better? Come clean for you?”
“No, you don’t have to do anything.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. You’re carrying my grandchild. You need to take it easy until you’re feeling better. Let me help you.”
“You’re sweet to offer, but it’s really not necessary.”
“I know it’s not necessary, but I want to help. Do you have anyone helping you? Any of your friends?”
“We’re not telling anyone yet.” Marienne held her breath waiting to hear Ruth’s response.
“Oh, that’s good. I always think it’s better to wait a while before you start telling everyone.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that. Frank thinks I’m crazy.”
“Frank’s a man. What does he know? You do what you think is best. And in this case I agree with you on waiting. But that means no one else is going to offer to help you out because no one knows you need help, so let me do something. What would help the most? Is there anything you feel like eating?”
“Nothing whatsoever.”
“I know what that’s like. How about this, I’ll bring down some meals, and you put them in the freezer, and that way you don’t have to cook for Frank, and if you do feel like eating, you’ll have some things on hand to choose from.”
“That sounds like too much work.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll cook extra of what I make for a few days, and I’ll stick it in some Tupperwares. Can I bring it down on Thursday night?”
“Are you sure you have time for all this?”
“I’m positive. I’ll put it all in a cooler and I’ll stick it straight in your freezer. I’ll be in and out of your house in a flash. I’m sure you don’t want your mother-in-law hanging around while you’re feeling sick. “
“That’s not true. We love when you visit.”
“You’re sweet, but I know what it’s like to have company when you don’t feel good. I won’t be a bother, I promise.”
“You’re never a bother.” Marienne was grateful that Ruth was being so understanding. “And thank you.”
“Thank you,” Ruth said. “I can’t wait to meet my first grandbaby.”
Chapter Nineteen
Daniel clicked on refresh for the fifth time, and the error message once again appeared on his monitor. Wondering if it was his computer or if the server was down, he walked across the hall to Christina’s office. She was seated at her desk, struggling with something tiny in her hands.
“Dammit,” she said, setting a little glass bottle down and rummaging through her overstuffed pencil holder.
“What are you doing?” Daniel walked into her office and sat down on the chair beside her desk.
“Oh good.” She handed him the bottle. “Make yourself useful. Open this.”
“Jasmine essential oil.” He read from the label as he made his first attempt at opening it. The top wouldn’t budge. He grabbed a napkin from the stack next to the remains of her sandwich and wrapped it around the lid.
“Ahh.” He felt the seal loosen.
“Thanks.” She lifted the cap, withdrawing a plastic wand from inside the small bottle. Daniel watched as she dabbed the wand against a tiny piece of cloth and placed it inside what appeared to be a locket.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m scenting my necklace,” she said, as if that should be perfectly obvious.
“What?”
She gave him her sideways smile. “You’re such a guy.”
“Your point?”
She held the necklace out for him to see. “It’s like a locket, but it’s all open scrollwork on the back.” She flipped it over. “You put your favorite scent—a perfume, an essential oil, whatever, on a little piece of felt and stick it inside. Then you put it on.” She placed the necklace over her head. “It’s like wearing your own personal air freshener. I like the jasmine. It calms me down, and I have a meeting with Bob this afternoon, so I need it.”