“Oh,” she said. “Well, preemies usually do fine these days.” She rolled over again. “Tell her I said good luck.”
He was certain she was back asleep before he’d even reached the bottom of the staircase. His stomach churned from a mixture of disgust and fear and he tried to focus only on Marienne.
Though he tore out of the driveway at record speed, he felt as if he was moving in slow motion. The drive around the block to Marienne’s house seemed interminable.
Please let her be okay. Please let the baby be okay. Where the fuck is Frank?
He screeched to a halt in her driveway and practically flew across the yard to her front door. She was waiting for him, her eyes huge and frightened in her pale face. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and hold her.
“Can you walk?” was all he could manage to say.
She nodded. He took her hand and led her toward his car.
To his shock she pulled a large trash bag out of her pocket and began spreading it over his front seat as soon as he opened the door.
“What are you doing?” he asked, baffled.
“I don’t want to …leak…all over your car,” she said.
“Oh for God’s sake, I don’t care. Would you just get in?”
She smoothed the last corner of plastic down before struggling into the seat. He reached over and buckled her in then rushed around and hopped into the driver’s seat.
“St. Peter’s?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whispered with a nod.
He sped through the streets, across the bridge, thankful there was no one else on the road. He pulled into the emergency driveway and leaped out of the car to usher her inside.
“Maternity?” She asked a nurse.
His head started to swim from the hospital smell. He hadn’t been inside a hospital since his mother had died, but the odor brought the memories flooding back.
“Third floor,” the woman replied. “Do you need a wheelchair?”
“No,” Marienne said. “I’m okay.” She turned to Daniel. “Will you come with me?” Her voice was small and pleading.
“Of course.” He took a step toward the elevator, but a security guard stopped him.
“Uh, sir, is that your black Cherokee?”
“Shit,” Daniel said. “Yes.”
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to move.”
Daniel looked at Marienne’s frightened face. “You’ll be fine. Go straight upstairs, and I’ll find you in two minutes.”
She nodded, eyes round. He ran to the car faster than he could ever recall moving.
By the time he got up to the maternity ward Marienne was nowhere in sight. The hospital smell was assaulting him again, but he tried to ignore it. He drummed his fingers on the reception desk as the nurse finished shoving papers into a manila folder before acknowledging his presence.
“Marienne Valeti,” he said, as soon as the she looked at him.
“Room three.” She pointed to the right.
He rushed down the hall. A nurse was standing in the doorway, scribbling in a chart. “Marienne?” he started to ask, but before he finished he heard her voice from behind the curtain.
“Daniel? I’m right here.”
Without thinking he strode behind the pink and blue checked cloth, trying to steady himself as he saw Marienne sitting in the hospital bed. A hideous light blue gown was wrapped around her, and she looked pale and shaky. He moved toward her and grabbed her hand in mid air as she reached for his. “Are you okay?” He searched her face.
“I don’t know. Apparently they have to run some tests.”
She looked terrified. The nurse with the chart yanked the curtain to the side as she wheeled over a fetal monitor. “Are you the father?” She looked from Daniel to Marienne.
“No,” they said in unison. Her hand tightened around his.
“Then I’m afraid you’ll have to wait outside.”
Daniel squeezed Marienne’s hand and looked into her eyes. “You’re going to be fine.” He managed to keep every bit of shakiness out of his voice. She nodded and reluctantly let go.
“There’s a room right down the hall, sir,” the nurse said.
Daniel nodded and walked out of the room.
He paced back and forth past the couches several times before plunking down on one. His hands raked through his hair, repeatedly, pausing only to rub his eyes. He pressed his forefingers against the bridge of his nose.
The odor was overwhelming him now. Seeing Marienne in that bed, looking so frightened and helpless, the sounds of monitors beeping, the nausea swept over him as images of his mother in her hospital bed bombarded him.
No, not the same, not the same at all.
He tried to think rationally.
Marienne’s not dying, she’s bringing a new life into the world. Frank.
The name came out of nowhere. He fumbled in his pocket for his cell phone, flipped it open and scrolled to Frank’s number.
It went straight to the automated message.
Fuck.
He tried the work number which rang five times before going to voice mail.
“Fucking fuck,” he said, aloud, startling the man on the far couch who had apparently nodded off. “Sorry,” Daniel said. “Really sorry.” The man waved and closed his eyes again.
Daniel stared at him. He was much older, white-haired.
Daughter having a baby perhaps? Umpteenth child being born?
He couldn’t imagine any scenario in which one could doze off while in the waiting room of the maternity ward. His mind was racing. Marienne’s panicky voice and wide eyes, Justine’s ambivalence, the images of his mother, the sleeping man, all crowded his brain and spiraled together. He didn’t even hear the nurse approaching.
“Sir?” she said. “Sir, your friend will be ready to go in a few moments.”
“Ready to go?” He was relieved, but confused.
“Yes.” She smiled. “Kind of a false alarm. I’ll let her explain.”
“But she’s okay?”
“Mmmmhmmmm.” She nodded.
“And the baby?”
“Fine too.”
“You’re absolutely certain?”
“They’re both fine.”
“Okay.” He tried to let it sink in.
Marienne walked out of her room, and the confusion stopped. All he felt was happy. The color had returned to her face, and the fear was gone. She sighed as he approached her.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.” She sounded both relieved and embarrassed.
“What happened?”
“Well.” She looked down, her cheeks coloring, which thrilled him; her paleness had scared the crap out of him earlier. “It seems the baby is big enough to exert quite a bit of pressure on my bladder sometimes.” She took a deep breath. “My water didn’t break, I wet myself.”
It took him a moment to realize what she said. “So….”
“I peed my pants.” She gestured with both hands and shrugged.
He felt joyous. She was fine, the baby was fine, everything was fine. Although he knew he shouldn’t, he let out a laugh. She scowled, and flushed a deeper shade. “Ah, yes,” she said. “Everyone loves a good ‘I peed my pants’ story.”
He hugged her and kissed the side of her head, hard, breathing in the scent of her hair as the relief further washed through him.
She’s fine.
“Yes, that’s true, there’s nothing better than a good ‘I peed my pants’ story, but this may be—no this is—the best one I’ve ever heard.”
“Stop it.” She tried to sound stern, but was unable to keep from smiling.
“No really, I’d tell it as my own, but I don’t think I could pull off the pregnancy bit.”
She smacked his arm as they walked toward the elevator. He couldn’t stop grinning.
“Seriously,” he said, as they rode to the first floor. “This is the best news I could have hoped for, you’re fine, your baby is fine, it’s all good.”
“I know.” She nodded. “And thank you. Thank you for being there for me. I don’t know what I would have done….” Her voice trailed off and her eyes clouded with tears.
“You don’t need to worry about that.” He kissed the side of her head again.
Her stomach growled.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Starving.”
“Diner?”
“Mmmm.”
“Cheese fries?” he said.
“Mmmmmmm, yes.”
“Need to use the bathroom first?” He laughed as she pursed her lips.
“Okay, clearly you don’t, but perhaps I should.” He cowered as she smacked him again. They laughed all the way to the car as the sun started to rise along the horizon. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so happy.
****
It was almost seven in the morning by the time Daniel dropped Marienne off at her house. The four hours that had passed since he’d picked her up seemed like a lifetime.
He walked her inside and waited as she put down her bag and coat and checked her answering machine.
No messages.
Her heart sank
. Where the hell is Frank?
“Do you need anything?” Daniel asked.
“No, absolutely not. You’ve done enough. Go home and get some sleep. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t even.” He cut her off mid-sentence. “I’ll check on you before I head to work later. First class isn’t until three today. Get some rest, okay?” He leaned his head closer to her stomach. “And that goes for you too,” he said to her swollen belly. “Give your poor mum a break, okay?”
Marienne smiled, imagining him talking to her baby some day. She hugged him, her big belly crushing between them.
“See you later,” he said, stepping outside. “Rest.”
She nodded and closed the door behind him.
She stared at the answering machine.
How could there be no messages? How could the last four hours have happened without Frank knowing? Where is he?
She grabbed the phone and dialed his office. The switchboard picked up. “His call light is off,” the operator said. “Sorry.”
“Not your fault.” Marienne hung up, annoyed and worried.
Why won’t he answer?
She trudged upstairs, walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As she took off her clothes, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess; her eyes had smudges beneath them. She’d forgotten that she left the house straight from bed. She looked awful.
Daniel saw me like this.
She groaned and closed her eyes, cringing, but then she remembered the look on his face as he’d hugged her, the way he’d kissed her head. Her hand instinctively touched her hair. She could still feel his lips. She hadn’t felt judged; she’d felt loved.
She scowled as she thought of Frank. She removed the last of her clothes and stepped under the warm spray of the shower, her tight shoulders relaxed beneath the soothing water and she attempted to wash the stress away.
Feeling clean and fresh she headed downstairs. It was nearly eight.
She started to dial Frank’s cell, then heard his car pull into the driveway.
Her anger percolated as she waited for him to come through the door. By the time she saw him, sneaking in, sweaty t-shirt clinging to him, gym bag in his hand, she was at the boiling point.
“Where were you?” She startled him so much he dropped his duffel on the hall floor.
“Jesus. You scared the shit out of me.”
She glared, arms crossed atop her stomach. “Well?”
“What?” His eyes bulged.
“Where were you?” Her voice was so shrill she thought she might attain a pitch only dogs could hear.
And who were you with?
“I was at work.” He stared at her as though she were crazy. “I fell asleep on my couch, woke up, ran to the gym, now I’m home. Why are you so freaked out?”
“I’m, there’s, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….”
“Jesus, Marienne. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me but, well, I thought there was, and I couldn’t get a hold of you, and I spent the last few hours at the hospital.”
“Hospital? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” He moved toward her.
“We’re both fine.” She felt exhausted.
“Why’d you go to the hospital?”
She told him the whole story—it all came pouring out. He listened, but when she finished all he said was, “Well that’s good. Everything’s fine now.”
So matter-of-fact. Like the whole experience didn’t matter. No words of comfort. No hug. No fear in his eyes. Granted he was hearing about it after he knew it had all turned out all right, but she couldn’t help recalling the fear she’d seen in Daniel’s face.
Daniel had tried to mask it, to keep her calm, but she’d seen it flashing wildly behind his eyes. He’d been worried, scared for her and the baby. Frank seemed unfazed. She brushed the comparison aside. “I was terrified,” she said, hoping to get some expression of emotion out of him.
“You’re fine now. Shit, that must have been embarrassing finding out you’d peed your pants.”
“It was,” she admitted, though she was appalled by how much he was missing the point.
“I’ll bet. What’d you tell Daniel? That it was false labor?”
“No, I told him the truth.”