Jake snorted. “Yeah, well, I just want to fuck for days.”
I rolled my eyes at his response. “Give your dick a rest for one night,” I mumbled.
“I never sleep as well as I do after a fuck-fest.”
Rhys laughed. “I doubt I could even get it up right now I’m so tired.”
With a grin, AJ replied, “I think I could get it up, but she’d have to do all the work.”
The elevator dinged, and we made our way to our suite. We’d spent the last five nights on the bus with back to back shows. Tonight we actually got to sleep in a real bed before gearing up for the next hard leg of the tour, which included three nights in Vegas.
When we got inside the posh room, I whistled. “Looks like the label really came through.”
“As hard as they’re working us, they sure as hell better have,” Jake mused before he collapsed on one of the plush couches.
“Who wants room service?” Rhys asked, as he plucked the menu off the table.
“Me. I want a steak, rare, with some potatoes and gravy. Maybe some mac and cheese or rice, too,” I said, my stomach growling with longing.
Rhys nodded, and then I went in search of a shower. All of our luggage had been brought up earlier, so after I found my bag, I dug out some fresh boxers and a T-shirt. With the water on the hottest setting, I slipped inside the shower. Nothing felt as good as washing the sweat and grime off after a show. While the bus had a decent bathroom, it sure as hell didn’t compare to this.
Of course, the moment the hot water hit my back, I let out a hiss of pain and cursed under my breath. After last night’s show, I entertained a brunette knockout on the bus before we left. Her acrylic nails had scoured my back as we fucked. When it was over, she’d left me her number, which I tossed in the trashcan after she left. None of the women I slept with sparked an emotional connection in me. They were just a means to get off. Of course in the end, I would always end up comparing them to the one woman I couldn’t seem to forget.
“Fuck,” I muttered, as I banged my head against the shower tile.
When I got out, I caught my reflection in the mirror. Just like always, my hand swept over my heart to the ink with Lily’s name. The familiar ache twisted and tightened in my chest at the thought of her and what we had once had. I’d made two appointments to have the damn thing covered with something else, but I never could bring myself to go.
As I stroked the lettering, I wondered what she was up to back home. I wondered how her teaching job was going. I knew she was probably busting her ass because she always was such a perfectionist. I wondered if she was dating someone. While I wanted her to be happy, I sure as hell didn’t like the thoughts of her with another man. I knew that AJ and Rhys kept in touch with her through emails and texts. I was too stubborn an ass to ever ask them how she was.
My phone buzzed on the counter, and I grabbed it. I couldn’t help grinning when I saw it was Mitch. “Hey douchebag, how the hell are you? I was just thinking about shit from home, and then you call me.” At the silence on the other end, I said, “Mitch? Are you there?”
“I’m here.”
“What’s going on?”
“Look man, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I figured you’d want to know.”
Just the tone of his voice caused fear to reign down on me. “What’s wrong?” I demanded.
“Paul Gregson was murdered last night.”
The image of Lily’s smiling father burned through my mind so hard I staggered back. “W-What?”
Mitch exhaled a long breath. “There was a shooting at the courthouse. Some death penalty case for a gang member where the dude’s friends started shooting up the place when the sentence was read. Judge Goodwin is in critical condition, along with the new prosecutor, ten people were wounded, and Paul…”
“Jesus,” I muttered, as I fell back against the bathroom counter.
“He was a fucking hero. He jumped on one of the gunmen and took him down, saving who knows how many lives, but he was shot in the chest and stomach. He never made it outside the room.”
While my heart ached for Paul, my thoughts immediately went to Lily. Razor-sharp pain pricked its way through my chest. “How is she?” I asked, knowing Mitch would know exactly who I was talking about.
“Not good, man.”
I couldn’t even begin to imagine how she was handling this. Lily and her father had such a special bond. While she loved her mother intensely, there had never been a stronger Daddy’s Girl than Lily. To lose him period would have shattered her, but to have to lose him so violently and when she was so young, it was life altering.
After a long pause on the line, Mitch cleared his throat. “She’s not seeing anyone right now—she hasn’t gotten serious about anyone since you two broke up. She’s gone out with a few guys—half the coaches at the high school where she’s teaching get permanent wood when she’s around, but she’s not biting.”
I knew why he was telling me this now. Lily was all alone without the two most important men in her life. I had to go to her. I had to be with her during this horrible time. Regardless of what had happened between us, I owed it to her and to Paul.
“When’s the funeral?”
“Friday at two.”
“Okay, I’ll be there.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Well, Paul was always so good to me. I should go and pay my respects.”
“This isn’t about Paul and you know it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You still love her, Bray. You’re no fucking good without her, and you know it.”
“Look, I appreciate you calling to tell me about Paul, but when it comes to me and Lily, there’s nothing to discuss.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, really,” I snapped.
“Then answer me this. When was the last time you were able to write a song?”
Motherfucker. I gripped the phone tighter in my hand. He’d gone straight for my jugular on that one. “We’re not working on the album now.”
“That has nothing to do with it, and you and I both know it. Admit it, Bray. You need her. You love her.”
With a mirthless laugh, I said, “Since when does a manwhore advocate monogamy and relationships?”
“Since I finally fell in love three months ago.”
The wind left my body, and I staggered back for the second time that evening. “You’re shitting me?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because Lily wasn’t the only one who saw you change.”
“Ouch man, that hurts.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Talking to you tonight is the first time you’ve sounded like your old self in a hell of a long time.”
While I could have argued with Mitch, I knew it was the truth, too. Losing Lily over who I had become should have been enough to make me turn my life around, but for some reason, I hadn’t. But maybe it wasn’t too late. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”
“I know you are. Just like I knew deep down you’d come to your senses one day and realize what a fucking asshole you’d become.”
“That’s a little ironic coming from you, don’t you think?”
Mitch laughed. “Yeah, but I’ve always been an asshole. It suits me. But you’re not cut out for it.”
I chuckled. “Listen, I need to get off the phone here so I can get our PA to make the flight arrangements for me.”
“Okay.”
“Will you let me buy you a beer when I get back in town? I need to hear all about this girl who has reformed you.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye, cuz.”
“Bye, Mitch.”
I hung up the phone and quickly threw on my clothes. When I got back out to the suite, room service had arrived, and the guys were chowing down. At that moment, I no longer had an appetite. All I could think of was getting back to Lily as quickly as I could.
When AJ saw me, he motioned to my plate. “Get your grub, dude.”
I shook my head. “I need to call Gretchen and get a flight out of here tonight.”
Jake’s fork clattered onto his plate. “Where are you going?”
“Back home to Roswell.”
With his brows lined in worry, Jake asked, “Are your parents okay?”
“Yeah, they’re fine. It’s Lily actually. Her dad was murdered last night—well, he was shot while taking down a shooter at the courthouse.”
“Damn, that’s horrible,” Rhys remarked.
“Poor Lils. She and her dad were so close,” AJ said.
Pushing his plate aside, Jake asked, “You expect to leave during the middle of a major tour for some ex-piece of ass’s father?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Lily is more than just an ex-piece of ass, and you know that. Besides the fact she was once my fiancée, her dad was a helluva guy who meant a lot to me.”
He shrugged. “So send some flowers or a card. Or if you’re really feeling generous, give them a check.”
Closing the gap between us, I snarled, “You are one heartless motherfucker, did you know that?”
“I’m just being honest. Do you think the label is actually going to allow you to leave for some ex-girlfriend’s father?”
“I frankly don’t give a fuck what they think. There are more important things in life.”
With a snort, Jake said, “I can’t believe you’re going to jeopardize your career over that bitch. Hasn’t she caused you enough trouble already? She fucked up your mojo to where you can’t write a song to save your life, not to mention trying to tie you down.”
I grabbed him by the shirt. “Don’t you say one more fucking word about Lily!”
“Or what?”
AJ rose out of his chair and came over to us. “Okay, that’s enough.”
Jake sneered up at me. “Fine. Go home to your precious Lily. She must have one more gold-plated pussy if she can get you to throw your career away.”
As rage ricocheted through me, I didn’t take a second to think. I just reacted. My fist connected with Jake’s jaw hard enough to flip him over in his chair. I barreled over the chair and started pummeling his stomach. I got in three or four good punches when I was lifted up under my arms by Rhys and AJ. “Dude, knock it off!” AJ shouted.
With my chest rising and falling in harsh pants, I tried to catch my breath. “I’ll stop kicking his ass when he says he’s sorry. Lily’s never been anything but good and nice to him, and he’s a fucking asshole for talking about her that way!” I shouted back.
Wiping the blood from his mouth, Jake glared up at me. “Just get out of here.”
I shook my head at him. “Why can’t you say you’re sorry? Is that too much to fucking ask?”
“You don’t want to hear what I have to say,” he bellowed.
“Yeah, I do. Because if you don’t make things right between us, I’m not sure there’s a point for me coming back.”
Both AJ and Rhys inhaled sharply. “You can’t mean that, Bray,” AJ said.
“I sure as hell do. I can’t make music with someone who is as heartless and unfeeling as Jake.”
“Fine,” Jake growled, pulling himself to his feet. “You want the truth about why I can’t stand your precious Lily?”
His tone caused me to lunge forward, and if AJ and Rhys hadn’t been holding me back, I would’ve attacked him again.
“She chose you,” Jake said.
I could only stare at him as I tried processing his words. “What do you mean?”
“I’m only admitting this because I don’t want you to leave the band. We need you too much.”
“Get to the point,” I snapped.
“Somewhere along the way, I kinda started to like her.”
My mouth gaped open in both surprise and horror. “Like her? Like more than your friend’s fiancée?”
“At first, I thought it was because she reminded me so much of Stephanie, but then the more I got to know her, the more I started to like her. She was so good to us—cooking for us and caring about what was going on in our lives. After being surrounded by groupies, she was so fucking real. I thought I could make her want me.”
“So you could fuck her and dump her?” I snarled.
“No, so I could have what the two of you had. Something real.”
“And then when she didn’t show anything to you but friendly love, you sorta turned on her. Or at least used me to turn on her.”
Jake nodded. “You guys getting engaged was kinda what did it for me. I saw then she was never going to like anyone—love anyone else—but you. When you started to change, it was easy to manipulate you into treating her worse and worse.”
“But why would you do that?”
“So she would leave, and I wouldn’t have to see her anymore.”
“Jesus, Jake,” AJ muttered by my side.
Jake sighed. “I know you want it, but you fucking deserve it too. I’m sorry, Brayden. I’m really fucking sorry. I’m sorry for all the horrible shit I said about Lily. I’m sorry her dad got murdered. She’s too good to have something so horrible happen to her. But most of all, I’m sorry I treated her the way that I did there at the end.”
I cocked my brows at him. “You really mean that? You’re not just saying it to make sure I’ll stay in the band.”