Memory's Wake Omnibus: The Complete Illustrated YA Fantasy Series (50 page)

Hayes pulled her cap off her head, throwing it to the floor. Her blonde hair that had been tucked up in it tumbled down around her face. Memory jerked back away from him and sneered.

“If I weren’t locked away in the castle, if you actually let me go to school, and I mean
real
school, with magic classes, maybe I wouldn’t have to sneak around to read this stuff myself. Or dress as a boy.”

“Nothing excuses your outrageous behavior. I thought you’d been keeping your nose clean, and then you pull this stunt? How on earth did you manage to acquire the keys?”

Memory looked at Madoc, red faced and seething, and then to Bedevere who watched the proceedings with the same lack of expression he always showed. He met her eye, and she was surprised by a tenderness there that seemed to invite her to give him up.

Memory stood up and reached for Hayes’s ear. “You mean this key?”

She made a show of pulling a key from his ear, then reached with her other hand to his other ear and pulled out the second key. “Or this key?”

Hayes swiped his walking cane across her arms, knocking the keys from her hands. Madoc skittered forward and chased after them, picking them up.

“Childish games. You have broken the law, and we must administer a suitable punishment.
Tristan
will be expelled from lessons. When you return to school, you return as Memory only. You need to understand that acting out like this is no way to get what you want.”

No more Tristan?
Memory had only used the excuse of needing to attend magic lessons as a boy to cover up what she’d really been doing. But to have that taken away from her hit her hard. She leaned back against the desk, needing its support.

“But I need to go to magic class. I need to learn more,” she said, her head shaking side to side.

“To do what? Cause even more trouble than you currently do by adding magic into the mix?” Hayes scoffed.

In just one class with Waylan, so much understanding had opened up in Memory. She had been looking forward to little else like she had returning to magic class, even without Waylan teaching. She couldn’t lose that. She just couldn’t. She had to do something.

“I have to because I’m scared.” Memory let all defenses drop. She addressed Hayes, but then turned to Bedevere, finding his calm gaze more comforting. “I’m losing control, of whatever is happening within me. I’ve Veil doored without meaning to. I’m worried about what else could happen. I need to learn about this stuff.”

Bedevere’s expression changed ever so slightly, a bend of the eyebrows, a softening of the eyes.

Hayes spoke first. “If you would just let us examine you as requested—”

Bedevere spoke over him, his deep voice easily covering Hayes’s. “How about this: rather than attending classes with the male students, which is of course unseemly for a girl of the royal family, I can offer to privately teach the princess. As a tutor.”

Memory stood up straight again, leaning forward hopefully. “You’d really do that for me?”

Bedevere grunted softly. “I can probably work my schedule around to find the time.”

Memory tried hard to act chastised still and not let loose a toothy grin. She looked to Hayes for approval.

“Fine, so be it. If Bedevere has time to waste on such pursuits, he is free to do so. But this leniency is on the understanding that there will be no further incidents from you. If you step wrong again, a much more dire punishment will need to be found.”

Memory jogged briskly all the way back to her chambers. Running in, she found Roen still there, biting his thumbnail and pacing back and forth around the stack of Alward’s research. When he saw her he stopped short then strode up to her, grabbing her hands tight. “Are you all right? Why did you do something so foolish?”

Memory rolled her eyes and smiled. “I’m fine. A little slap on the wrist was all. And I threw them off the scent. I doubt they even noticed this stuff was gone or that I had an accomplice.”

“I can’t believe you took the blame like that. If I were found, if…” Roen’s words stuttered away to nothing.

Memory could see it on his face. It would kill him. It almost did in the past. He was more willing to be hung than be known as a thief.
I was stupid for asking him to help me with this, thinking he’d be okay with it.

“Forget about it. Tristan took the brunt of it, but things worked out okay. And hey, check out our haul,” Memory said.

Roen didn’t turn to look. He stared at Memory intensely and bent in to kiss her lips.

Memory shied away and cleared her throat.

Roen remained still, his cheek beside hers. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Memory slid her hands free of his and crouched down beside the sprawling papers, beginning work sorting and stacking them. She remembered sitting surrounded by books in Eloryn’s room, holding her sister as she wept from the pain of missing her guardian, wishing for something so small as to just see his handwriting again.

These belong to her,
Memory thought.
Just like Roen does, and I’m taking both from her.

“Change of plan,” Memory said, standing back up. “Let’s give these to Lory. Don’t you think she’ll like them?”

Roen just nodded, staring at Memory. She stared back and an awkwardness rose.

“I know you like her,” Memory blurted. “I mean, I know you like her more than me. And that’s okay. This thing, you and me, I’m not so sure it’s working.”

Roen’s lips moved into a very small smile. “To be honest, I’m not sure either. It was nice, to try, but I would not risk our friendship by forcing something that doesn’t want to grow. I love you, Memory. You are the best friend I’ve ever had, and could I have anyone as a sister, it would be you.”

“Or brother, right?” Memory joked, waving at her clothing.

Roen chuckled and gave her a tight hug. “You’re truly something special.”

“Just not quite as special as Lory?” she said into his shoulder.

Roen pushed her away again and dipped his head a little to look seriously into her eyes. “You and El, for all your similarities, are very different. Don’t forget that.”

“I know. It’s just difficult with her being so perfect all the damn time,” Memory admitted.

“That she is. Unobtainably perfect. I want to be better for her, to deserve her, but whenever I try to act up it makes me feel worse.” Roen moved back and looked down at their steal. He bent to start clearing it up, but Memory waved him away.

“Leave it. I’ll deal with it all in the morning.” Memory took Roen’s hand and led him from the room. She paused at the door and gave him a stern look. “Roen, take my advice. Just be yourself around her. Your flirtatious, sexy self.”

Roen smiled back but his brow was furrowed. “And what if she doesn’t like that me?”

“Terrifying, isn’t it?” Memory grinned wryly as she let him out the door. “Maybe it’s not best to take any of my advice. I wouldn’t know how to be myself if I tried. But it’s important to be loved for who you really are, right?”

Eloryn sat on a garden bench in the center of the rose garden. Entering her office for the day had caused an abrupt anxiety attack, so she made an excuse that she wanted to spend some time outside and would do her work there instead. A wooden desk and a lacy white canopy had been carried out by servants, and she flipped through her paperwork in the wan sunlight. With a sigh she noted that it was the job itself she wished to escape, not just the office.

She focused on her surroundings and a small wistful smile grew on her lips. Pebbled pathways ran between neat rows of well cared for roses, blooming in shades of peaches, pinks, and behested purples, within a courtyard framed by the tall palace. Something about the space reminded Eloryn of the high-walled courtyard in the home she’d shared with Alward and her time stealing slips of sunlight there. The sweet smell of the roses hung in the air. With the aid of magic, the roses there were always in bloom, even now when the weather grew steadily worse.

Eloryn’s usual guard detail accompanied her, some manning the perimeters of the courtyard, with one always standing directly beside her. She was distracted from her work when another soldier arrived and with a few quiet words, dismissed the soldier closest to her and took his place.

He nodded to her meaningfully. His sandy-colored hair and densely freckled skin highlighted bright blue eyes.

She gave a polite smile and nodded back, meaning to return to her paperwork, when he cleared his throat.

“Your majesty,” he said in a boyish voice and bowed to her. “My name is Erec. I am here to protect you.”

“Thank you.” Eloryn tried to sound grateful and hide the truth that having these bodyguards around smothered her every breath. Despite knowing the reality of the situation, she couldn’t help but be nostalgic about her time in the forests with just Roen and Memory, running for their lives.

Erec cleared his throat again, and Eloryn raised an eyebrow at him. He looked around as if to check for listeners and leaned in slightly.

“Majesty, I am the younger brother of Peirs. My brother is concerned about your safety, even though he’s no longer captain of the guard. So he has sent me to watch over you.”

“Peirs? Why is he so concerned as to my safety? As you can see my safety is being managed,” Eloryn said, gesturing to the other guards.

“With respect, my brother feels the guard isn’t being properly managed.”

Eloryn’s eyebrows squeezed toward each other and she forced them apart. “I know I have little experience in this role, but it should no longer affect the guard as it is now under Hayes’s control.”

Erec’s head dropped and he spoke quietly. “It is Hayes’s management that concerns my brother. Hayes is removing many good men from important positions, saying they were in league with your uncle’s plots. The people he is replacing them with have little to nothing to recommend them, save their complete loyalty to Hayes himself. I’m not sure that—”

Erec immediately fell silent and at attention beside Eloryn as Memory and Roen approached. Memory had her arms behind her back and a smirk on her face.

Eloryn stood to greet them, smiling warmly and taking a deep breath to fight the painful shivers she seemed to get every time she saw Roen.

“Your Majesty,” Memory said, giggling slightly as she did a terrible impression of a curtsy while keeping her arms hidden. “I have been feeling bad that I missed getting you something for your birthday,” she continued, with an exaggerated shrug. “But what could I possibly get this girl who has it all? Well, dun-uh!” Memory revealed the wad of papers she held and waved them in front of Eloryn.

Eloryn took them, her first thought being to the prospect of more paperwork, until she saw the handwriting on the top sheet and knew it instantly. “Are these…?”

Memory grinned. “They’re all yours. Happy late birthday, sis.”

Eloryn grasped the notes to her chest. Her voice was small and choked. “Thank you so much. I can’t express how much this means to me.”

“And there’s more. Lots more. Like, ‘you’d better come and get it all out of my living room because it’s blocking the whole place up’ more,” said Memory.

Eloryn’s heartbeat grew strong, warming her through. She’d felt horribly at odds with Memory lately. And Roen, what he must think of her, how she’s behaved. But here they were bringing her this gift, this amazing gift. She pulled them both into a tight hug, not caring if it wasn’t a proper thing to do.

She whispered into the gap between the three of them, “I definitely won’t ask how you managed to acquire these.”

Roen bowed his head and his hair fell over his face, but Eloryn could see he smiled. “That is indeed very wise.”

Pulling away from the group embrace, Eloryn grinned at her sister. “Mem, I hope Alward’s notes will have usefulness for you, too. I will study them to help you, like I promised.”

Memory tilted her head and smiled softly. “Sounds great. Well, you two have some catching up to do so I’m off!”

Memory dashed away too quickly for either of them to object.

Eloryn and Roen both turned and looked at each other, then at their feet.

Memory left her bodyguards in the hallway and ducked into a bathroom with a window. She stood up on a white pedestal basin in order to peek out the small window and spy on Roen and Eloryn. After an embarrassing start, they sat down together and seemed to be having not the most awkward conversation ever. The small smiles they shared now and then made Memory feel both fluttery and sad. She scrunched her nose up and fanned it with a hand to cool her emotions.

“I can’t believe he chose her over you. What was he thinking? You are so the better catch.” Hope stood in front of a mirror and picked at a floral arrangement on the side table. The effect of seeing them both in the mirror, like there was four of her, dizzied Memory. She hopped down off the basin.

The deep grimace on Hope’s face made Memory smile. It touched her that Hope was so defensive of her feelings. “I just didn’t feel that way about Roen after all.”

Hope pulled petals off the flowers and flicked them into the air. “Why the hell not? I’m you, and I’d wife him straight up.”

A petal landed on Memory’s nose, tickling her. She batted it away. “I guess I’ve known him longer. He’s just a good friend.”

“Sure he is. He was probably just trying you out while he built up the courage to go for the real thing. And her, with that innocent-little-me act. She’s just a tease, stringing him along, and you’re just going to let her?”

Hope’s words were like every guilty thought Memory couldn’t bring herself to say, even when she prided herself on being blunt. Were those dark thoughts true? They didn’t feel right. Her sister, hugging her and Roen among the roses. That felt right. She wanted her friends and wanted to shut away her nasty paranoia.

“Hope, enough. Try to be happy for them. I just want things back to how they used to be. Me and Lory and Roen and Will as friends. I feel like we’re getting there again. Except for Will.”
I miss Will.

“And what cost has this regained friendship been to them. Admit it. Everybody else gets what they want and you just get spurned. You shouldn’t have let him go. You shouldn’t have let Alward’s notes go.” Hope pulled the whole arrangement from the crystal vase and threw it on the floor. Water and green stems splattered on the tiles. “We’ll see soon, what kind of friend Lory really is. She has all that research now, knowledge you could have kept, that you needed. We’ll find out how genuine she is about helping you when she provides you no help at all.”

“You’re wrong.” Memory had to trust Eloryn would help her if she found anything in Alward’s studies relevant to her. She had to trust that Roen and Eloryn were a better match than Roen and herself. If she started to doubt, she had to face tough realizations. That maybe Roen didn’t want her because he sensed something wrong within her. Something broken and lost, and at the same time so overfull it could explode.

“Eloryn has helped. I already understand more, about myself, about magic, and iron.”

Memory stared at the piercings around Hope’s face, the silver-colored buckle and studs on her belt, on her jeans, on the cuffs and bracelets she wore.

“In the world we grew up in, just how much iron was there?”

Hope rolled her eyes. “I told you to forget about that place.”

Memory continued, her voice strong. “Tell me. There was a lot, wasn’t there?”

“Yes. A whole stinking world of iron.”