Mending Fences (20 page)

“I would have told you myself that I was seeing Grady, but honestly, Marcie, it’s not that big a deal. He’s a really nice guy. We’ve seen each other a few times, but the situation is complicated. Far more complicated than you can possibly imagine, in fact.”

At a loss for how to continue, she fell silent. When she finally looked up at Marcie, she saw the anguish in her tear-filled eyes.

“God, I hate this,” Marcie said. “I hate fighting with you. I hate what’s happening to my son, to my whole family.”

Distraught for her friend, Emily put aside her anger and wrapped her arms around her. “I know. I’m sorry about everything you’re going through, and I’m doubly sorry if I’ve made it worse.”

Marcie jerked away and swiped at her tears. “I need to go. I can’t talk to you right now.”

She whirled around and left before Emily could think of a single thing to say that wouldn’t destroy all their years of friendship. She certainly couldn’t tell Marcie that Grady wasn’t just here because of whatever attraction was simmering between them. She couldn’t tell her that he’d been asking questions about Evan’s behavior over the years, though Marcie undoubtedly had guessed
that much. And there was no way she could possibly admit that Grady believed Marcie’s son had raped her daughter.

Of course, if that turned out to be true, their friendship was doomed anyway. She honestly couldn’t imagine any way to salvage it.

An hour after Marcie had left, Emily was still reeling from the heated confrontation. She’d had two cups of herbal tea, but all of the chamomile in the universe couldn’t calm her rampaging emotions. Worse, there was something she could no longer put off doing.

Filled with dread, she slowly climbed the stairs and knocked on Dani’s door. Doubting that she could be heard over the music her daughter was playing at top volume now that she had her CD player back, Emily walked in without waiting for a response and found Dani lying facedown on the bed, her shoulders heaving with sobs.

Emily immediately dropped down beside her and gathered her close. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong? Please tell me. Whatever’s going on, you can’t keep it bottled up inside forever. You’ll make yourself sick.”

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Dani finally opened tear-filled eyes. “Everything’s such a mess. Evan’s going to jail. Caitlyn and I aren’t even speaking anymore. Mrs. Carter hates us. I heard what she said to you. I wasn’t eavesdropping. I promise. She was really, really loud.”

Emily couldn’t contradict any of that, so she settled for a platitude. “Things will settle down eventually,” she said, though she was no longer nearly as sure of that as she’d once been. “Everyone’s very tense right now.”

“It won’t get better,” Dani argued with certainty.

“Time—”

“No,” Dani said, her chin thrust out stubbornly. “Don’t even try to make me feel better, Mom. It won’t get better, because of me.”

Emily’s pulse seemed to stop. “What do you mean?”

Dani’s watery but unwavering gaze met hers. “I want to talk to Detective Rodriguez, Mom. I have to.”

So, Grady had been right, Emily thought, her heart sinking. She fought back tears and the desire to stop Dani from saying another word. Once she spoke, there would be no going back.

She knew, though, that silence wasn’t an option. If Dani was brave enough to talk—if she had something to say—then Emily had to back her. She couldn’t fall apart herself. She owed Dani her strength and her unconditional support.

Struggling to keep her voice calm, she asked, “Sweetie, what is it you want to tell Grady? Can you tell me?”

Dani looked at her. Though she would always be Emily’s little girl, there was a new maturity in her eyes. “You know, Mom. I know you don’t want to believe it, but you know.”

“Evan hurt you,” Emily said flatly, nearly choking on the words.

Dani nodded.

Though her anger immediately heated to a boil, she tried to keep her expression neutral. “Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t want to say the words,” Dani said, shuddering in her embrace.

“I know you don’t, sweetie, but you need to talk about
it,” Emily said with conviction. She’d seen too many teenagers let their emotional wounds fester. It was a dangerous age for not dealing with things. She’d already allowed Dani to avoid facing the truth for too long because of her own misgivings about hearing it. “You’ll feel better when you’re not in this all alone. Pain is always easier when it’s shared with people who love you.”

“It’s just that it will bring it all back,” Dani whispered. “I’ve tried so hard to forget. For a long time, I thought it was all behind me. I mean I stopped having nightmares. I actually started talking to some of the guys at school again without freaking if they touched me.”

Imagining her daughter so fearful that she could overreact to an innocent touch made Emily want to storm over to the Carters’ and break every bone in Evan’s body herself. He deserved to know what fear was like. Even now, with charges pending against him, it was plain to her that he still didn’t get the damage he’d inflicted.

Forcing her vengeful thoughts aside, she asked quietly, “How long ago did it happen?”

Dani didn’t answer immediately. She kept her face buried in Emily’s shoulder, her tears soaking through the cotton of her blouse. “It was last year,” she finally began in a voice that could be barely heard.

She fell silent, her tears unchecked. Emily waited for her to go on.

“I was over there one night when he was the only one home,” Dani recounted at last. “It wasn’t any different from any other time I’d been over there. We were just watching a video, joking around, you know.”

“I know.”

“And then he started saying all this stuff about how pretty I was, how he’d always had a thing for me.”

Emily knew how much that would have meant to Dani at the time. “And you’d had a crush on him for years, so it was everything you’d been wanting him to say,” she said.

Dani nodded. “When he kissed me, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, Mom. It was amazing. It was everything I imagined it would be. No guy had ever kissed me like that before. We kissed for a long time,” she said, then swallowed hard. “Then…then he wanted more. He…he grabbed me.” She gestured toward her breast. “It really hurt, Mom. And then he was putting his hand, you know, down here.” Her voice faltered.

A fresh batch of tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks. “I told him no, Mom,” she said earnestly. “I said it over and over, but he wouldn’t listen. I tried to fight him off, but he just laughed and said he knew it was what I wanted, what I’d always wanted.” Sobs shook her shoulders. “I didn’t want it, Mom. Not then. Not like that.”

Emily held her. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. Your first time shouldn’t have been like that.”

“I was so afraid to tell you, so afraid you wouldn’t believe that I hadn’t asked for it the way he said I did. And I was so scared I’d get pregnant.”

It was yet another jolt. Emily had to clutch a fistful of comforter to keep from reaching out to break something. “He didn’t use protection?”

Dani shook her head. “So, for weeks, I was worried about that and about getting an STD, because I know he fools around with a lot of girls. I wanted to go to a doctor, but I didn’t want to ask, because I knew you’d want to
know why and I couldn’t think of what to tell you except the truth, and I knew I couldn’t do that.”

“Oh, sweetie, you could have,” Emily insisted, heart-broken that Dani had felt she had to face this whole awful experience all alone. “You can
always
tell me the truth, no matter what. I would have believed you. I know you. So does your dad. We both would have believed you.”

Dani stared at her with dismay. “You can’t tell Dad,” she pleaded. “You can’t.”

“You know I have to,” Emily said firmly. “Josh needs to know, too. They’re both going to be on your side, you know that. They’re not going to blame you for any of this. It was
not
your fault.”

“But they’ll look at me differently. I don’t know if I can stand that.”

“Dad will always look at you as his precious daughter and he’ll blame himself for not protecting you. Josh will always see you as his beloved pest of a little sister. That won’t change.” She brushed Dani’s damp hair back from her face. “They have to know. Keeping this a secret from them won’t solve anything.”

Dani looked worried. “You won’t let them do anything crazy, will you? That’s what I’m really scared about.”

“I’ll do my best to keep them in line,” Emily promised, not sure how she would accomplish that. She wasn’t even sure how she was going to keep herself from taking matters into her own hands and making Evan pay for what he’d done.

“Or maybe Grady could do talk to them,” Dani suggested. “Do you think he’d come back over here tonight, even though it’s late? I don’t know if I’ll be brave enough if I have to wait till morning.”

“If you want to do this tonight, he’ll come,” Emily assured her.

Dani looked at her, her expression filled with sorrow and resolve. “I know that girl is telling the truth, Mom, and it’s all my fault. If I’d said something sooner, maybe it wouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Emily said. “The important thing is that you want to do what’s right now.”

“I’m scared,” Dani said.

“Of testifying?”

Dani shook her head. “No. Like I said before, I’m scared of what Daddy will do. And Josh. I heard them say they’d kill Evan if he hurt me.”

To be honest, Emily was scared to death about that, too. She knew her outrage was mild compared to what Derek and Josh would feel. Still, she needed to give Dani one less thing to worry about.

“Come on, sweetie, you know they were just blowing off steam in the heat of the moment,” she said. “They won’t go after him. The police and the courts will handle Evan.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure. Now, will you be okay, if I go downstairs and call your father? I think he and Josh should hear about this from me before I call Grady.”

Dani nodded. “I’m okay. But I don’t want to see them tonight, okay? I can’t talk about all of this with them. I need to tell Grady, and that’s all.”

“I’ll handle it,” Emily promised.

She stood up, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to Dani’s forehead. “I am so proud of you for wanting to do the right thing. And I’m so terribly sorry that you’ve been trying to cope with it all alone for so long.”

“Don’t be proud of me,” Dani said. “I should have spoken up a long time ago. I wish I’d been as brave as Lauren has been. She told the truth and she doesn’t even have the kind of family around that I do.”

“Comparing the situations is a waste of time. You’re doing what needs to be done now and that will be a huge help to her case. Concentrate on that. Now let me go call your dad. You get some rest. I’ll let you know when Grady gets here.”

“Can I talk to him up here, so I don’t have to see Dad or Josh?”

“Sweetie, you know your dad’s not going to rest until he sees you and tells you how much he loves you. Don’t avoid him.”

“I won’t. Just later, okay?”

Emily nodded. Then, heartsick, she went downstairs to make the calls that would change all their lives even more dramatically than they had been already.

M
arcie slipped upstairs after her visit to Emily, hoping to avoid another encounter with Ken, who was in his office downstairs. She didn’t want to have to admit he’d been right about everything, that Emily was involved somehow with Detective Rodriguez.

She still couldn’t get over that. Since the divorce, Emily hadn’t shown any interest whatsoever in dating, even though the women in their book club were constantly offering to fix her up with someone. Paula, in fact, had practically made it her mission to get Emily hooked up with a new guy. Marcie wondered if Paula knew that Emily had found her own guy, the worst possible prospect from Marcie’s point of view.

After managing to reach the master bedroom undetected, Marcie impulsively grabbed the phone and called Paula. At the sound of her friend’s groggy voice, she glanced at the clock and winced. It was nearly eleven, an hour at which she would never have imagined herself calling anyone, especially not a teacher who was usually up at dawn.

“I am so sorry,” she said. “You were already asleep. I didn’t realize it was so late. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Marcie? No, talk to me. What’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“Just embarrassed over waking you up.”

“It’s fine. I was just resting.”

Marcie could tell Paula was lying to be polite, but she was desperate enough to take her at her word. “If you’re sure you don’t mind, I really could use a friendly ear.”

“Of course, but why not Emily?” she asked, obviously puzzled.

Marcie sighed. “Because she’s the problem,” she said bluntly, her anger resurfacing.

“Emily?” Paula sounded incredulous. “What could she possibly have done? She’s your best friend.”

“I always thought so,” Marcie agreed, not even trying to hide her bitterness. “Did you know she’s dating Detective Rodriguez, the officer who filed the charges against Evan?”

The silence that greeted her question was answer enough. “You knew,” she said flatly.

“I knew there was some kind of attraction there,” Paula admitted. “But I didn’t know they’d done anything about it.”

“Did Emily talk to you about it?”

“Not really. I saw the two of them in the teachers’ lounge at school one morning, a couple of days after Evan was arrested, as a matter of fact. There was no mistaking the sparks. I even commented on them, but Emily pretty much ruled out acting on the attraction for a variety of reasons, including her loyalty to you.”

“Well, apparently she changed her mind,” Marcie said sarcastically. “Ken said he’s been hanging around her house a lot and when I confronted her about it tonight, she didn’t deny any of it.”

“I see.”

“How could she do that to me?” she asked indignantly. “How could she be so insensitive to everything that man represents to me and my family? He’s a threat to my son.”

Paula’s silence suggested she didn’t see it quite the same way.

“You disagree,” Marcie said, her tone flat. “Mind telling me why?”

“I don’t think Emily would ever intentionally do anything to betray you,” Paula said. “But we can’t always choose the people we’re attracted to. I think this might have caught her off guard. You know her history, Marcie. Derek was the only man she was ever really involved with, so she didn’t have a lot of experience with dating and sexual attraction and that kind of stuff. Along comes this sexy cop who obviously has a thing for her. He has the perfect excuse to spend time with her, because she’s a potential witness in his case. Next thing you know, maybe things get personal. It wasn’t some big plot to hurt you, Marcie. Please don’t make her feel guilty about it.”

“I can’t help it. I’m really hurt that she would do something like this behind my back. She should have at least mentioned it, so I wouldn’t have been blindsided by it, especially by Ken.”

“If she didn’t say anything, it was because she didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sure she didn’t want to rub your face in the fact that she was seeing a guy she had to know you view as an enemy. Surely you can see that it was a no-win situation for her.”

Calmer now, Marcie tried to examine the situation from Emily’s point of view. “I suppose,” she admitted grudgingly.

“Look, give it some time. It’s not as if she’s asking
you to welcome him into your home or something. The exact opposite, in fact. She’s trying to keep her personal life and her friendship with you entirely separate.”

“How is that possible? Friends are supposed to be able to share everything. Now there will be this huge chunk of her life we can’t talk about. And what if they get together and he moves into that house? A day won’t go by that I won’t run the risk of bumping into the man who charged my son with rape.”

“Whoa! Don’t you think you’re getting way ahead of yourself? I doubt things are that serious. Last I heard, they hadn’t even been on an official date.”

“Well, if she’s willing to betray me for this man, then they could turn out to be serious,” Marcie insisted, then sighed. “Bottom line? I’m just not sure I can trust her anymore.”

“You know that’s not true,” Paula chided. “I trust Emily with my life. So can you. She’s the most loyal person I know.”

“I would have agreed with you a couple of hours ago, but now I have no idea where her loyalty lies…with me or with this cop.”

“My hunch is that she’s spent a lot of her time with him trying to make him see another side of Evan, the good kid she’s known for years,” Paula said. “She could be your best ally, someone who can make the detective be more open-minded.”

Emily had claimed much the same thing. Marcie tried to let her anger go, but it wasn’t possible. “Thanks for listening to me, Paula, especially after I woke you up. You helped. You really did.”

“Call anytime,” Paula said. “And if there’s anything at all I can do to help at any hour, I’m here, understood?”

“Thanks.”

Slowly, she replaced the phone in its base, then turned out the light. Maybe she would see things from a different perspective in the morning. In the meantime, she needed to be sound asleep before Ken came upstairs, because one more upsetting encounter tonight would be the last straw.

To her surprise, after talking to her mom, Dani felt better than she had in a long time. Her mother had been right. Getting all this stuff out in the open did make it easier somehow. It felt as if this huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She’d gotten so used to toting it around, she hadn’t realized how heavy it was until it was gone.

Not that it was all behind her. Far from it. She had a feeling that telling Grady all the stuff she’d told her mom was going to be really, really hard. She was starting to like him, to think maybe he’d make an okay stepdad if he and her mom ever got serious about each other. She’d hate it if he looked at her with disgust or pity. In a way, this was a test. If Grady passed, then maybe she’d be brave enough to face her dad and her brother.

She opened the drawer beside her bed and pulled out her diary. She hadn’t opened it for more than a year now, not since the night Evan had raped her. She blinked hard as she mentally used the awful word for what he’d done. She’d gotten used to thinking of it in other ways, using so many innocuous synonyms to make it seem less than the crime it had been. Evan had
raped
her. There was no other word that did justice to what he’d done to her. She had to stop being afraid to admit it.

Fingering the leather diary, she smiled ruefully at the
silly puppy pictured on the front. It was a kid’s diary, given to her when she was barely twelve. She hadn’t touched it till she turned fifteen, but for a long time after that she’d written in it faithfully, sometimes daily, most often weekly, jotting down all her thoughts and emotions, including the fantasies she’d had about falling in love with Evan.

After drawing in a deep breath, she turned the tiny key in its lock and opened it to the last page on which she’d written. Dated March 12 of the previous year, the entry said only, “I hate him! I hate Evan for what he did to me!
I DID NOT WANT IT!!!!!
” The last words were big and bold and underlined.

Tears spilled out and splashed on the page. She reached for a tissue and blotted them before they could smear the ink. One page out of a whole diary, she thought, but it represented the day her life had changed forever.

And, she prayed, it would be enough to send Evan to jail where he belonged.

In the kitchen Emily sat Derek and Josh down at the table and quietly and succinctly repeated what Dani had told her, then added, “I need the two of you to promise that you’ll let the police handle this. Dani doesn’t need her brother or her dad taking the law into their own hands. This is going to be hard enough for her as it is.”

Derek, the least physically violent man she’d ever known, stood up and kicked his chair halfway across the room and began to pace. Josh jumped up, his expression grim.

“Dad, are you okay?”

“Of course, I’m not okay,” Derek shouted.

“Keep your voice down,” Emily warned. “You don’t want Dani to hear you, do you? More than anything else, she’s terrified about how you’re both going to react to this.”

“Sorry,” Derek mumbled. Then, to her shock, he punched his fist through the window beside the back door, shattering the glass.

Emily was on her feet and at his side in an instant. “Josh, get a towel. Derek, what on earth were you thinking? That wasn’t like you at all.”

“I was imagining Evan’s face when I threw that punch,” he muttered darkly. “I wish to God I could get my hands on that kid right now.”

“Well, you can’t,” she said, taking the towel from Josh and reaching for Derek’s bleeding hand. “Come over here by the sink. Let me get the glass out.”

Derek jerked away. “I’m fine. It’s just a little blood. Stop making a big deal about it.”

“You broke a window, Derek. You put your fist through it. I’d say that qualifies as a big deal. Now, let me see it. There’s a lot of blood.” She swallowed hard at the sight of it. “You aren’t going to faint, are you?”

“No, dammit, I’m not going to faint.”

“Mom, you’re the one who faints at the sight of blood,” Josh commented, grinning. “Want me to bandage Dad’s hand?”

“I can do it,” she said stubbornly.

Derek scowled at both of them. “Would you stop worrying about my hand and consider what’s important. That boy needs to be behind bars. The police need to get him there in a hurry, too, because if I see him, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Josh’s expression immediately darkened. “Dad’s
right. Is Detective Rodriguez coming over to talk to Dani?”

“I’m going to call Grady in a few minutes,” she said. “As soon as I get your father bandaged up and after I speak to Marcie.”

Derek stared at her incredulously. “You can’t call Marcie.”

“I think she has a right to know what’s going on. We’re talking about her son, Derek. I know what he did was reprehensible and I will never be able to forgive him for it, but Marcie’s not responsible. I feel awful when I think about what this is going to do to her and to Caitlyn.”

“Forget Marcie. Your focus needs to be on Dani now,” Derek said. “What would you say to Marcie anyway? You know she’s not going to believe you. More important, there’s a good chance she’ll warn Ken. As hotheaded and irrational as he is about what’s going on, he’s liable to pack up Evan and take off.”

He sat down at the table and put his head in his hands. When he finally looked up, the rage was gone, replaced by a grim acceptance.

“Maybe we need to think all this through before you call anybody,” he suggested slowly.

“There’s nothing to think about,” Emily responded.

“Yes, there is,” Derek contradicted. “I wonder if we should let Dani get mixed up in this at all. Maybe we should just get her whatever help she needs to deal with it.”

Emily stared at him incredulously. “What are you suggesting, that she say nothing?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Let her put this behind her. Let her heal.”

“It doesn’t work that way,” Emily protested. “Haven’t you seen how this has been eating at her? Now that we know the truth, a whole lot of things make more sense. Do you realize she hasn’t even talked about wanting to go on a date for months now? I know the kids at school have parties practically every weekend, but she hasn’t asked to go to any of them. The few times we’ve had all the Carters over here this past year, Dani has mysteriously disappeared the second they arrived. I have to admit I was relieved about the dating and the parties and I barely even noticed the way she was avoiding the Carters, but none of that is normal for a kid who was always such a social creature. I should have put two and two together a long time ago, but it was easier to stick my head in the sand.”

Derek’s jaw set stubbornly. “I still think we should reconsider letting her speak to Rodriguez.”

Before she could reply, Josh jumped up and shouted, “Are you crazy, Dad? She has to tell him what she knows. Right now, she’s the best witness he has. Evan hasn’t gone this far with the girls I’ve contacted, or at least none of them would admit to it. Dani can make his case. Otherwise Evan’s going to get out of this. You know he is. You’ve seen how the media’s made it seem like Lauren’s some kind of pathological liar.”

“Exactly,” Derek said, as if Josh had just validated his point of view, instead of the opposite. “I won’t allow them to do the same thing to Dani. She’s been through enough.”

Emily knew he only wanted to protect their daughter, but she also knew he was a man of deeply held convictions about right and wrong.

She sat down and faced him. “Derek, my every
instinct is to protect Dani, too, but I can’t stop thinking about all the other girls who might be hurt if Evan gets off this time. Dani wants to do this. She
needs
to do it. She’s feeling guilty enough that it happened to Lauren because she didn’t speak up. She’ll never be able to live with herself if she stays silent this time, too.”

“Mom’s right, Dad. You know she is,” Josh said earnestly. “It has to stop now.”

Derek still didn’t look entirely convinced. He faced Josh. “You’ve hung out with Evan for years. Nobody knows that boy better than you do. What do you believe in your gut about all this? Have there been other times besides your sister and Lauren?”